Forge vs Paul (No Restrictions) – Requested by Cheesy Monkey

It was the final class of the day. Many people had a free hour to study before they were allowed to leave; Forge and Paul had claimed the otherwise deserted Computer Lab to work on some programming and finish compiling a few surveys for projects.

Forge slumped in his swivel chair and glared at the screen petulantly. "Mircosoft Access sucks," he announced.
Paul, working on the console next to him, shook his head. "You're just saying that because you don't know how to use it."
"Exactly! It's complicated, pointless, and does nothing that you can't achieve with any other spreadsheet program. It's a program that just exists for the sake of it, so people will buy it and waste more money."
"What about a mail merge? Or a data search-and-sort system that actually works? Not a whole lot of other spreadsheets can run that."
"Spare me. I'll take the extra time it takes to do it in a much less confusing way, thankyou."
"Extra time? Time is money, buddy mine."
Forge just snorted. "Right. Whatever. You can keep all the money you earn in the thirty seconds it takes me to do a couple of cut-and-paste jobs. I'll be happy doing it my way."
Paul grinned. "I bet Bill Gates make a lot in that amount of time…"
"…because he's ripping people off…"
A groan. "Dude. Do not tell me you're one of those people who badmouth Microsoft or Gates just because they've got more Mula than you."
"Microsoft was entirely begun by the Windows Operating System, which Bill Gates didn't even write himself. Of course, that could explain why it's so confusing ? even he doesn't know how to use it."
"He bought an OS shell from a couple of friends and made it useable, which they'd given up trying to do. Then he made programs to run on it. And he made improvements along the way as he sold his products.?
"Dude, I'd use a whole lot of words to describe Windows XP, but 'improvement' isn't one of them."

----

Five minutes later, the boys stood glaring at one another, work forgotten.
"I don't believe you!" Paul practically yelled. "One minute you seem logical, and the next you're insulting a perfectly decent company for no reason!"
"I've got a reason," Forge retorted hotly. "Microsoft monopolises the global market and uses that power to improve their image as They-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed. Then they flood the market with useless programs that the mindless consumers buy, and make millions. For example, Microsoft Access. I just don't like the way that system works, okay? Deal!"
"I would think that the fact Microsoft has a global monopoly in the first place would not only indicate its popularity, but would lead to the conclusion that the products are of a high standard."
"…like X-Box?"
Paul went very still. "What about X-Box?"
"It's an attempt to muscle in on the gaming console market that's handled by companies like Sega, Dreamcast and Nintendo. And I might add that it's a failed attempt, since that lousy excuse for a console doesn't hold a candle to Gamecube, and - AACK!"
The tail end of Forge's sentence was cut off as Paul landed a shove to Forge's chest, knocking him back to bark a shin against a desk with a howl. A moment later, face contorted with indignant anger, Forge shoved back, almost causing Paul to trip over a chair.
Things deteriorated from there.

Forge lunged forward, tackling the taller boy around the middle, arms flailing wildly as he headbutted Paul's chest. Paul grunted, stumbling back; then he began thudding his fists down on Forge's back whilst letting out various obscenities in a high voice.
A moment later, Paul's back connected painfully with a desk; he let out a horrifying nasal squeal and thumped Forge inexpertly across the face, drawing blood in a thin trickle from the duskier boy's nose. Forge yelled, tangled their feet up in an attempt to withdraw, and toppled them both to the floor with Paul on top. By chance, one flailing arm encountered a stapler on the bench; he grabbed at it as he fell and clocked Paul soundly across the skull with it, raising a bump.
Paul howled at the pain, even he slid partially off Forge; his head hadn't completely recovered from the blow when he threw himself on top of Forge and began pawing clumsily at the other boy's face, pushing his head back to bang it repeatedly against a table leg.
At each impact, Forge let out a grunted expletive whilst trying unsuccessfully to throw Paul off him; after a moment of this, he drew back one hand and punched Paul awkwardly on the cheekbone, knocking him sideways. There was a brief respite as they caught their respective breaths; then they pounced on one another again.

The next few minutes contained some of the most inept and inexperienced hand-to-hand combat that the city of Bayville had ever seen in its colourful history.

"My hair! You've got my freaking hair!"
"That's my knee you're standing on, you son of a bitch!"
CRASH
"Look what you did, jerkwad!"
"ME? That was you, moron!"
SMASH
TINKLE
"You're paying for that!"
"Screw you!"
"No, screw you!"
SMACK
"Aaah! You fucking bitch-slapped me!"
"That was an open-handed punch, loser!"
"Well what's this then?"
SMACK
"Ow! That was a goddamn bitch-slap!"
"Because you're a bitch!"
"No, you're the bitch!"

The fact that neither boy was inflicting more than minor superficial damage didn't help matters as much as one might have thought. It resulted in them getting a lot angrier, and a lot more frustrated, but it didn't slow them down or wear them out one iota. Indeed, the somewhat clumsy attempts to inflict harm only became more frantic with a total lack of disregard for the expensive equipment around them.
But, fortunately, the door burst open to admit two figures before anything really costly could be demolished.

----

Scott held Paul back - one handed - and looked around. "Just what the hell is going on here?"
"I'm showing Communism Boy here a little respect for how a big company can make things work!"
"Communism? Up yours, dude!"
Across the room, firmly restraining Forge, Kurt rolled his eyes. "Both of you, klappe. Now, what happened?"
Paul spoke first. "It started with him bitching over spreadsheet programs-"
"Here we go," Scott murmured. Paul ignored him.
"-and then he starts badmouthing a decent company for no good reason!"
"Every word I said was technically correct," interjected Forge. "And if the guy weren't such a brain-dead consumer he'd recognize that instead of trying to kill me for voicing a freaking opinion!"
"You dissed the X-Box!"
"X-Box sucks, dude. Gamecube's way cooler."

There was a brief pause before Scott aired the opinion that was passing between him and Kurt in unspoken agreement.
"That is the single dumbest reason for a fight that I have ever heard."
The slightly battered techno-geeks gaped at him.
Kurt, on the other hand, nodded in agreement. "Ja! Computers in general are over-rated, anyway. What with the trouble I have typing, I barely use them and I have no troubles. They are annoying machines to begin with."
Neither boy noticed the strange look coming back into Paul and Forge's faces.
"And the whole Gamecube vs X-Box thing is just as pointless," continued Scott. "They're virtually the same thing. If anything, you're both wrong - PS2 is better."
A corner of Paul's eye twitched.
"Right. And it works as a DVD player, too! The others are just scheiβ…"

In the following silence, the air seemed to grow thick with menace. Kurt and Scott exchanged a slow glance before speaking.
"Um… guys?"
No response.
"Paul? Forge? Are you two…?"
At that moment, with cries that could later have been described as infuriated squeaks, the two thin, non-muscular, pre-beaten nerds attacked the two superheroes-in-training.
Who panicked and went down hard.

----

Jean and Kitty peered cautiously into the Computer Lab; it was deserted.
"Are you sure they're in here?" Kitty queried with a glance at Jean. So far as she could see, there was nothing here to indicate that the room had been used all day.
Jean, for her part, simply nodded. There had been no mistaking the fight she'd 'overheard' and sent the boys off to deal with; and it had supposedly been successful, since the signals had stopped. The fact that Scott and Kurt hadn't returned was more disconcerting, particularly when a quick mental sweep revealed two startlingly weak mental signatures coming from inside the Computer Lab.
And so it was with a certain amount of foreboding that Kitty and Jean had at last come searching.

After taking a few moments to check the rest of the room, they stood before a large wooden cabinet in the corner of the Lab. There was nowhere else; if the boys were indeed within the room, then they were inside the cabinet.
Jean, as a psychic, knew that only her and Kitty were present. She knew that even though this was just like every horror movie she'd ever seen, there was probably nothing to be getting scared about. And she knew that there was nobody nearby plucking at violin strings to get that spine-tingling music they always played right before a scary scene. It was all in her overactive imagination and that was it.
Even so, she had to bite the proverbial bullet and work up enough courage before she could actually open the door…

Only to burst out laughing as an extremely groggy Scott Summers toppled out to lie helplessly on the floor.
A combination of insulated cables and duct tape bound him hand and foot; the tape had been further used to seal his mouth shut and attach his glasses to his face, covered over so that he couldn't see through them. There was some kind of grease matting his hair down, and most of the visible skin was either reddened or bruised from repeated impacts.
In the cabinet behind him, Kurt was in a similar condition. The hologram hid any marks, but to make up for it he had an extra feature; a magnet taped to the side of his head, most likely courtesy of Forge to stop him teleporting.
Kitty knelt, still chuckling, and began to free Scott; Jean telekinetically 'lifted' Kurt out and leaned him against a wall. When she ripped the tape off his mouth and removed the magnet, she earned a howl of protest; looking down at her hands, she saw the tape was covered with blue fur, torn out by the roots.
Oh, he is not going to like that.
However, it also meant he could talk again.
"What happened to you?" she demanded, trying to free his hands.
"We insult'd c'mputers," the Elf mumbled, still dazed.
"N' X-Box," supplied Scott helpfully from the floor. "N' Gamecube, too. Told 'em we liked Playstation bett'r…"
The girls said no more, but rolled their eyes and continued their work on freeing the semiconscious boys. It wasn't until they had helped them to their feet and begun heading for the door that Kitty spoke.
"Now, guys, we need to go over this. There are certain things that one should never, ever say whilst in the immediate vicinity of a technogeek…"