Amanda vs Kurt's Secret Admirer (Post-breakup, Fighting over Kurt) – Requested by Noval Garant
The
girls stood out in the hall listening intently. There was no sound
coming through the door in front of them, no light leaking around the
frame, nor indeed any sign that there was someone inside.
Rogue
shot a glance at Jean. "We sure he's in there?"
"You bet,"
said Jean. "At least it's either him or Strong Sad1 because
nobody else in the known universe is this depressed."
Kitty
sucked at the lollipop in her mouth thoughtfully. "And what's he
so depressed about?"
"That, you'd have to ask Kurt…"
----
It
had not, to say the least, been a good day for Kurt Wagner. Certainly
it had begun well enough and ordinarily enough; wake up, raise the
Mansion, get thrown around a bit by Logan in a 'surprise training
session', shower, and go to school. It had been sometime during the
latter venture, however, that the situation had begun to deteriorate
somewhat.
First period had shown a somewhat frosty reception from
one Amanda Sefton, leaving the Elf rather upset and confused to all
appearances. Second period, however, had been worse; Math was
cancelled, leaving the students to their own devices. This had seen
Kurt and Amanda start a conversation in the yard that had resulted in
a (reportedly) very messy, angry, screaming breakup, if the rumour
mill was at all accurate.
Kurt's mood, as Evan put it, had
matched his hide for the rest of the day. Finishing early, he'd
passed on Scott's offer of a ride home, saying he had something to
do. Nobody was quite certain what that had been - all guesses
involved Amanda - but he'd returned to the Institute a while later,
gone to his room without speaking a word to anyone, and not
left.
That had been before three in the afternoon. It was now nine
thirty. And so the three girls had formed a posse to make sure, one
way or the other, that Kurt was okay.
----
"Elf,"
called Rogue, banging on the door with one hand. "Open up, we gotta
talk."
No anwer.
"Let us in, Fuzzy," Kitty tried. "We
just want to make sure you're okay… oh, and we have food…"
Still
no answer.
Jean, holding the aforementioned food tray, frowned.
"I'm checking and… poking him mentally… and he's getting
really good at ignoring me. And blocking."
"Hmm." Kitty
thought for a second, tapping her lollipop against her pursed lips.
She tried the door, found it locked, and nodded. "Kurt, either you
open the door or I'm coming in to open it for you!"
That got a
response. "Hor auf," came his muffled voice. Rogue winced.
"Not
even botherin' with English. He's pissed."
Kitty clucked her
tongue. "Well, I warned him…" so saying she slid though the
door. A second later the lock clicked, the door opened inwards, and
Rogue and Jean entered.
As
she came in, Rogue dialled up a faint glow on the dimmer switch; this
allowed them all to see the room around them. Jean headed for Kurt's
bed, which sported a large blanket-rolled lump in the middle. Kitty,
getting there first, flumped down next to the lump and shoved it,
causing the lump to groan and roll to one side as its tail slid free.
Setting her tray down, Jean seized the tail and tugged at it.
"You.
Get your head out of there and talk to us or else we steal your
blankets. You know we can."
"Don't," came a muffled voice
from inside the blanket.
"Give me a reason not to," suggested
the telepath.
"Um… I'm not wearing pants?"
"One,
that's a lie. Two, I said a good reason not to do it. Three, if you
don't come out…" she telekinetically lifted an item off the
tray and hovered it above the lump. "…you don't get any fried
chicken."
The lump's stomach gurgled violently; with a
resigned sigh it unfolded into a respectfully dressed Kurt Wagner and
a large pile of used tissues. Kitty pouted at him.
"Aaaw…
you've been crying…"
"Nein, actually." Kurt grabbed at
the hovering chicken wing and bit into it. "My eyes have been
watering terribly and my nose will not stop running… but I have not
been crying."
Rogue raised an eyebrow. "So what, then? Ya
sick?"
"Nein." He bit, chewed, swallowed, paused. "I was
kind of… hitbysomepepperspray."
There was a stunned silence,
during which Kurt finished the wing. As he cracked the bone to get to
the marrow, Kitty found her voice.
"Somebody hit you with pepper
spray?"
He nodded morosely, discarded the hollow bone on his
tray, and grabbed more food. "Amanda. She… she and I broke up
today. I went to talk to her after school and… things got weird. I
think I scared her and so…"
Jean blinked. "Nuh-uh. Not much
excuses a hit of pepper spray and I can't see you doing any of
them. Something had to set her off."
"…I guess, but…"
"Quit
defending her," ordered Rogue. "We automatically gave you the
benefit of the doubt and assumed she did something wrong, not you.
Now take advantage and start bitching."
That got a ghost of a
smile out of him. "Okay."
Jean patted him on the back. "Good.
Now, don't leave parts out, and start with this morning."
"Well?"
----
Earlier that morning
Kurt
groaned softly as he opened his locker; once again, a surprise was
waiting for him. Not that he didn't like chocolates, or that the
plush doll wasn't cute, or that the single red rose wasn't a nice
touch. It was just that this was the fourth time this month someone
had broken into his locker with apparent ease, and it was getting
somewhat disconcerting.
Not to mention the problem of what to do
with these little gifts. He wasn't so heartless as to throw them
away in public; not knowing who was leaving them left a risk that the
giver would witness the act, and crushing souls in that fashion
wasn't something he made a habit of. At the same time, though, it
wasn't exactly in the best taste to hang on to gifts from a secret
admirer when one's girlfriend was a witness to the action, and
Amanda made no exception. She'd been showing every sign of extreme
annoyance at Kurt's tolerance of his would-be wooer, which he
supposed he could understand.
But then, what was a guy to do?
Sighing,
he grabbed his books from his locker, snaffled a chocolate, and
turned.
Amanda was waiting behind him.
"So," she said, a
hint of shrewishness in her voice. "More gifts." She narrowed her
eyes at him. "Are you eating those chocolates?"
He grinned
weakly and spoke around his mouthful. "Um… I just really like
Hazelnut?" Amanda didn't look amused, so he tried again. "Do
you want one?"
She glared a moment longer, then turned and
walked off.
"Amanda, liebling, wait, I… ach, Scheiβ…"
juggling books and bag, he managed to get his locker door closed and
run after her; by the time he got to class, however, she'd already
taken a seat in the midst of a group of people, leaving no room for
him. Sighing, he took a seat by the window and spent most of the
lesson sneaking glances at her that weren't returned.
As
soon as the bell rang, he was on her.
"Amanda" Amanda, can we
talk about this? Please?"
Looking at him for the first time
since his locker, she nodded. "Yeah. I think we'd
better."
Turning, she led the way out to the yard, Kurt
following with a growing sense of deep foreboding. At last they
reached a relatively secluded spot under a tree, where Amanda turned
to him.
"So?"
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I
just want to know why you're so upset."
Amanda rolled her
eyes. "Oh, come on. You're encouraging whoever's leaving that
stuff, making me look like an idiot, and you have to ask why I'm
upset?"
"Encouraging the… was? Amanda, I'm not…"
"Yes
you are! They see you hanging on to all the presents they leave and
they think you want more! That's how it works!"
"If they're
watching me so closely, then I don't want to hurt their feelings by
throwing the stuff away when they're there. And if they're
watching me then they know I'm with you so they don't have a
chance in the first place!"
"Oh, no," corrected Amanda. "If
they're watching you then they notice all the things that I put up
with. The way you flirt with every female you come into contact with,
like it's a reflex or something. The way you smile like an idiot at
any female who returns the attention. The way most of your best
friends are female who you seem to like a whole lot more than me…
look, it's pretty hard for me to feel good about our relationship
when there are rumours all around the school about you and some other
girl."
Kurt just blinked, stunned. "B-but… Amanda, you know
that's impossible! You know about… well, me! I can't be
sneaking around, it's not…"
"-going to happen, I know. You
keep saying that. Even though I'm living proof that it can happen."
She sighed. "Kurt, I… I think we need a break. From each
other."
The Elf shook his head slowly. He had to have heard
wrong, that was it. "W-what?
She bit her lip. "Look, it's
just… not working out between us, okay? I need… I need some time
on my own. I'm sorry, I… I have to go."
Utter astonishment
kept Kurt frozen until Amanda was halfway back to the buildings.
"Amanda! Wait!" he called frantically. She turned to walk
backwards.
"No, Kurt, I… just don't. I'm sorry."
And
all he could do was stare forlornly after her.
---
"Huh,"
was Rogue's comment after a moment. "Rumour mill had y'all
doing a lot more shouting. Looks like it was off again."
"Duh,"
snorted Kitty. "If you, like, believe half of what you hear?
There's a girl in the second year who's actually a guy. Who eats
rats.2"
Jean shuddered. "Oh, God. Do not discuss him… her, I
mean. Whenever people imagine the sick stuff she supposedly does,
they project it. Ick."
Kurt, plowing his way through a large
plate of potato salad and pork chops, said nothing until Kitty
regarded him again.
"Okay, that's one part of it. Now keep
going; what happened after school?"
The Elf took a deep breath.
"Um… now, this is where it gets really strange…"
----
Earlier that afternoon
Kurt
fidgeted as he peered around the tree. I am not lurking, he
told himself firmly. I just need to speak with Amanda and if she
sees me before I can get close to her, she'll walk away. This is
just to avoid making a scene and it is not weird.
He was in a
small park not far from Amanda's house, one he knew she walked
through twice a day going to and from School. Sometimes it was busy,
with children or people walking their dogs; today it was completely
empty, making things easier for him.
Hearing footsteps coming, he
ducked back and peered out; groaning under his breath he saw it
wasn't Amanda. It was Bayville's resident airhead and, more
recently, someone he'd been bumping into with surprising frequency.
Taryn.
Kurt pressed himself against the trunk of the tree, praying
she wouldn't see him; fortunately she didn't. What she did see,
however, was something Kurt saw at exactly the same time. Amanda,
entering the park from the other direction, homeward bound. The Elf
groaned silently at the shocking timing; Taryn, on the other hand,
gave a smirk that Kurt didn't see and advanced toward Amanda.
He
had time to wonder what was going on before voices reached him.
"So,"
chirped Taryn. "Hear you broke up with Wagner today."
Amanda
eyed the taller girl with distaste. "What's it to you?"
She
smirked. "Well, means he's back on the market, doesn't
it?"
"Somehow I don't think he'd open up to you," was
the withering response.
"He opened up to you, didn't
he?"
"Let's just say that you wouldn't… accept him… as
well as I can."
Taryn grinned devilishly. "Oh, I don't know.
I think I could accept him just fine… blue is my favourite colour,
after all…"
Click. "What?" Amanda demanded, stunned. Taryn
just laughed.
"Come on, girl! I saw him do his little act one
time when you kept demanding him to 'take it off'. Just expected
a show from the cute little guy, something risqué keep me
warm. Never expected that, though I gotta admit you've got nice
taste…" she leaned in. "So how's the fur feel? I bet it's
just like a peach."
Amanda was too stunned to answer properly.
"But… but…"
"That's exactly the part I'd like a good
look at, yeah. And everything looks good for it…" she twirled her
hair. "He's been hanging onto the little bits I gave him and now
that you're out of the way…"
Realisation sunk in and Amanda
found her voice. "It was you? The whole secret admirer thing was
you?"
"Yep." Taryn's smirk got wider. "Just to let him
know there are more fish in the sea… and now that you dumped him,
he's ready to drop a net in the rebound…"
One month of
frustration at someone chasing her boyfriend rose up in Amanda. Her
nostrils flared, her eyes widened. "You bitch," she hissed.
CRACK
Kurt
blinked at the sight in front of him, unable to accept that Amanda
had just slapped Taryn across the face. Taryn seemed to have trouble
accepting it too; not that it stopped Amanda. The darker girl waded
in, swinging her rucksack with both hands in a good solid whump that
nearly knocked Taryn off her feet.
The instant Taryn regained her
balance, though, she moved in. With a screech she dove at Amanda,
grabbed a handful of her hair and brought them both crashing to the
ground. Amanda was caught off guard and landed underneath Taryn; on
the other hand she'd instinctively managed to get a knee between
them that dug into Taryn's stomach. The taller girl hissed and
raked her nails down Amanda's face, drawing one thin line of blood
and several white scratches before she was heaved off.
Panting,
they staggered to their feet, glaring furiously at one another.
"God,
when you lose it…" Taryn spat angrily. "What the fuck is your
problem?"
"Just learn to keep your hands to yourself, bitch!"
snapped Amanda.
"You want to try and teach me?"
"Oh,
yeah."
Taryn
charged in at those words, hands stretched out; Amanda ducked and got
a shoulder into the taller girl's stomach, who grunted and brought
an elbow down on the darker girl's back. Both yowled in pain, then
broke apart for an instant; this time it was Amanda who moved in
first. One hand swung up and connected with Taryn's face, hard; the
taller girl screamed as blood trickled from her nose. In return an
elbow found Amanda's jaw and a lip swelled to twice its
size.
Amanda's grip slipped at that, and Taryn twisted savagely;
breaking free she lunged in, long nails scratching at Amanda's face
and drawing blood. Amanda howled as a cut was opened along her nose;
when one flailing hand came within range she ducked her head and sank
her teeth into it, sharp little canines piercing the skin. Taryn's
shriek was deafening.
And abruptly, a new voice broke in - two, in
fact. Two young men had walked into the park, caught sight of the
fight and were running up, even as Kurt was still too stunned to move
and remained unseen behind his tree.
"Hey! Hey, what're you
two doing!"
"Dude, they're gonna kill each other!
Stop!"
Taryn seized a handful of Amanda's hair and jerked on
it; Amanda started bending the fingers back on Taryn's other hand,
both wailing at the tops of their lungs. It was while this was going
on that two hands grabbed each of them respectively and tore them
free; Taryn with a small clump of ebony hair clutched in one fist,
both struggling wildly.
"What," grunted one guy, "is going
on here?"
Amanda managed to break free from him and glare at
Taryn. ?"Fuck you, bitch," she snarled. Then, grabbing her bag,
she headed off with as much dignity as she could muster. Taryn, also
twisting free, spat after her and headed off in the other
direction.
The two would-be heroes looked at each other, shrugged,
and went on their way.
Kurt had the decency to stay hidden until the park was empty before he himself moved on.
----
Jean
was stunned. "So Taryn knows about you?"
Kurt nodded. "Ja.
She apparently did not react as badly as I would have expected, but
it's more than enough to complicate matters…"
"I'll
say," agreed Kitty. "So she saw you when Amanda asked you to take
the watch off?"
Kurt nodded, but Rogue cut off further
questioning. "Wait a minute. Before we go into that, finish the
story. What's the deal with the pepper spray?"
'Ah…"
----
Fifteen minutes after the fight
Carefully
avoiding the den window, Kurt scaled the back wall of Amanda's
house at speed. He was still more than a little bewildered by what
he'd seen, but it hadn't changed his resolve to speak with his
apparently now-ex girlfriend - especially now Amanda knew he hadn't
been doing anything wrong. Reaching her bedroom window, he tried to
peer through; the curtains were closed.
He tapped on it. "Amanda!"
he hissed furiously.
No answer.
He tried again. "Amanda!"
tap tap tap "I know you?re in there!"
tap tap
tap
"Amanda!"
Abruptly the window swung open and Amanda's
hand appeared. It was clutching a can of pepper spray. And from
behind the window, as the spray began to hiss, came Amanda's voice
shrieking what sounded like the words fuck off.
Kurt let
out a strangled little cry as the pepper spray hit him in the face;
his enhanced senses made it far, far worse than on an ordinary
person. Instinctively he let go and fell to the earth with a
howl:
"Scheeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiisssssssss - OOF!"
Amanda's
head appeared out the window and stared down at the gagging
Elf.
"Omigod, KURT? Oh God, I thought it was a burglar or
something, are you-"
Kurt vanished in an explosion of sulfur,
her cries falling on ears that were no longer there. As if this was
the final straw, Amanda screwed up her eyes and flung her head
back.
"FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!"
A flock of birds flew out of a tree down the street, an old lady walking her dog looked around in utter horror, and somewhere a blue Elf gagged and wheezed and snorted as he tried to breathe without choking.
----
Kitty
just stared blankly as Kurt's tale came to an end and he pushed the
now-empty tray away from himself.
"You," she finally said,
"have had a really bad day."
"Ja. I know."
Jean
blinked. "Okay, so your love life's a shambles, Taryn knows
you're a mutant and has developed some kind of fixation on you, and
your sinuses are blocked. Not a lot of good points there for
tomorrow, either?"
Rogue patted his shoulder. "So what're
you gonna do, Elf?"
Kurt laughed weakly. "What do you think
I've spent the entire afternoon locked in here trying to figure
out?"
-------------------------------------------------
1
A character from the webcomic Homestar Runner
2 Reference
to Misfits, a tagfic betwixt InterNutter and Foxglove.