Germany

Setting- Clark and Lana are talking in the Talon.

"So Lana what are you doing for your Spring Break?"

"Well Clark, I'm not sure what I'm doing."

"Well if you don't have anything else to do, Lex said he'll let me borrow the jet and take you to a few different countries. If you want to that is." He quickly added.

"Yes Clark I think that would be wonderful! When can we go?"

"Well if we were to go Lex says we have to get out of here by 3:00 this afternoon."

"Oh! Well I have to pack my clothes, make-up, my accessories, my…"

"Lana it's 2:45." Lana began to run around in circles.

"Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!" Clark stands there watching feeling a little bit awkward.

"Lana what are you doing?"

"Clark you really want to know?"

"Yes I really, really do want to know!"

"Well I don't know myself so I really can't help you!"

"Well I guess we can use the $50,000 that Lex gave me for emergencies."

"Uh yeah maybe we can Mr. Genius!"

"OK its 3:00 now, you ready to go?"

"Yes, Clark I am!"

Setting- Luthorcorp Jet.

"So Clark, you haven't really told me what country we're going to first."

"Well I wanted it to be a surprise, but I guess I can give you a hint. Deutsch." He wrote it out on a piece of paper for her.

"Oh! Oh!" Lana started jumping up and down acting very excited as if a light bulb had just clicked on in her head. "That looks like Dutch!" she said, "We're going to Dutch-land aren't we? Aren't we? Aren't we? Aren't we? Aren't we Clark? Aren't we?"

"No Lana, Deutsch is German in German."

"Oh," Lana said as if she understood, "Well that was my 2nd guess."

Setting- Berlin, Germany

"Well Lana what would you like to do first?" Clark asked.

"I don't know what do you want to do first Clark?" She answered dumbly.

"How about we go take a look at the market?"

"OK!"

"Now Lana there are a couple of phrases that Lex taught me and wanted me to teach you so we could get around." He pulled out a piece of paper and showed it to her. It read:

German Phrases

Hallo- Hello- (HAH-LO)

Danke Schön- Thank You- (DAHN-KUH SHOEN)

Bitte Schön- Please & Your Welcome- (BIT-UH SHOEN)

Auf Wiedersehen- Goodbye- (OWF VEE-DUR-SEN)

Wievel Kostet das? - How much does it cost? - (VEE-FEHL KOHS-TET DAHS)

Clark gave the list to Lana and said, "You go to that side of the market and I'll look around here at some of the goods." Lana agreed and went to the other side of the market.

As Lana was looking at the many different food stands she spied a little girl selling German chocolates. She went up to her and said, "Haylo!"

The little girl replied with a polite, "Wie geht es Ihnen?"

"Yeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh, sure whatever." Lana said rudely. The little girl asked Lana if she would like a chocolate, as it was the only thing she could say in English. "Bite Shoe!" Lana replied. As she put the chocolate in her mouth her eyes got so wide they almost popped out of her head. "OH MY GOSH THAT IS LIKE THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER TASTED IN LIKE MY ENTIRE LIFE!" Lana quickly asked, "Wievel Kostet das?"

The girl answered, "Zwei Euro." Lana repeated her question not knowing what the little girl had said. This went on for about 30 seconds. Finally the girl picked up a box and started shaking it saying, "ZWEI EURO!" Lana came to the conclusion that they were free. She tried to take the box from the girl, but she clung tight and yelled, "HILFE!" Half of the market looked in their direction. Lana finally wrestled the box away and grabbed up as many other boxes of the chocolates as she could possibly carry.

Clark was looking at a woman weaving a colorful basket when he heard a commotion behind him. He turned around to find Lana running past him so fast that it took a couple of seconds for him to realize that her arms had been full of thin boxes. A little girl came by soon after running at a similar speed carrying one of the boxes. What neither Clark nor Lana knew was that the girl had dumped out the chocolate and filled their places with rocks.

Clark followed the little girl who had her eyes set on Lana who was off in the distance. Lana finally climbed up onto the roof of a building, and kicked down the ladder. As soon as the girl caught up and started yelling at Lana in German, Lana had already started on a box of the delicious German chocolates.

When she saw the little girl in the street she started screaming, "GET AWAY YOU PSYCHO LITLLE GIRL THEY'RE MY CHOCOLATES! EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM IS MINE! ALL MINE! MY PRECIOUS," She whispered to the boxes. "I won't let the nasty little girl hurt you." Clark soon arrived on the scene.

"Lana what are you doing up there?"

"I'm getting fat, and I'm loving every last second of it!"

"Lana you have to come down from there!"

"Make me!"

"Ok, I will," Clark went over and picked up the ladder that Lana had kicked down earlier and set against the wall. He climbed up the ladder and took Lana up in his arms. He took her back down (while she was kicking and screaming for her precious chocolates) to the ground (where numerous people were very angry with Lana). "Lana I think that we're going to have to leave Germany."

Setting- Luthorcorp Jet.

"Clark I'm so sorry that I behaved that way, I don't know why I did that."

"Lana let's just…" Clark stopped to answer his ringing cell phone. When he hung up he said, "That was the German Government…….. Thanks to you we've been banned from the country for the next 10 years."