I'm getting real sick of myself to be honest Chapter 34
Night shifted to morning without fanfare, and without Asriel as well. It hadn't been a bad time by any stretch of the imagination. The kids and the younger skeleton spent much of the evening doing puzzles and simple strategic board games, all ones that Frisk had never seen before but at least two of them vaguely resembling chess.
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For Frisk, Papyrus was a comfortable constant. He was so much like her brother that she caught herself doing double-takes pretty frequently when she heard him talking over her shoulder. He was also just as huggy which, to be honest, she needed desperately.
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Hanging out with Pidge was interesting: Frisk had never really spent time with another human in earnest before. The girl stuck her with an inescapable sense of uncanny familiarity, which she guessed was probably normal— or whatever one could really call normal in a situation like this. She liked her, though. There was something solid, steady, and oddly protective about her. Despite Frisk's nerves, it was nice to meet a human and not instantly fear for the safety of everyone around her.
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Unlike the others, Sans kept more to himself, switching between napping periodically and vanishing inside the cabin. When he did check in, though, he was chilled out and kind in his tone. He brought them more chai.
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Despite all that and the hours that passed, Frisk hadn't slept a wink. Pidge and Papyrus had made a valiant effort of staying up with her, but both had eventually succumbed to the warmth of their sleeping bags. Sans had tapped out a long while ago. The kid sat on her own in the cavern, staring at the Soul of the World, watching its colours shift softly. Above it, patterns of crystals glowed periodically in the rock like foreign constellations. She had no idea what to do with herself. Be patient, she thought, though it wasn't easy.
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These people— these fully real, different versions of her own family; of her own role in the world— were more comforting than they might have realized. More than she had expected, too. Even so, each minute dragged by like an hour as she watched the magic glow, hoping for a monster to come hurtling out of it. She wasn't very good at waiting.
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She got up on tired feet, rubbed her eyes, and edged closer to the Soul. She circled it carefully, peering up at those crystals, but she couldn't make heads nor tails of them. It felt like it was pulling on her. Sans had said not to touch it, though, so she kept her distance.
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The grass was soft and welcoming when Frisk sat down again. She pulled out her phone and tried to ignore the shaking in her fingers. She snapped a photo of the Soul and then swiped back at her older stuff. The picture from the last world was so surreal. That hadn't even been that long ago. She hoped they were okay. That young Papyrus especially. It was kind of funny, now that she thought about it: she was still wearing the clothes the Sans back there had given her.
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Against her better judgement, she went farther back, feeling a deep ache at the sight of her father, her mother; her family. She knew she'd tear up the second she saw Sans, yet she looked anyway. She wanted to grab him and heal him and shield him from this void mess. She put her phone away before the pain in her chest overwhelmed her.
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The other phone in her pocket belonged to her father. She curiously checked through his stuff again. There was a book in there. Something to read, maybe? She took it out and a big, dark blue tome dropped out and onto her lap. When she flipped it open, though, it was mostly sheet music.
"Oh!" She remembered now: the magic book her dad had shown her. She sure hoped he didn't need it while she was gone.
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"Complex stuff." Sans groggily dropped down to sit beside her, leaning over slightly to sneak a peek with heavy eyes. "Where'd ya get that?"
"It's my dad's," she said. "It's spells, right?"
"Mhm." He stretched. "So. You can do magic but don't know 'bout spells?"
"Nope. Just started doing magic a few months ago, too," she said. "I've never really seen much about spellbooks or anything, actually." She frowned and thought back into her brother's memories. "I think… I think most of that kind of stuff got lost in the war? Between humans and monsters and stuff. Sans has that, um, he'd heard of composers but he never met one, and he knows everybody, so…"
"He has that, what's that mean?" he asked.
"Oh! Um, sorry, I just have all his memories, I can kinda look back at them for stuff he knows, too, at least from the part where we, umm… shared souls and stuff. But, like, can't exactly steal skills or anything like that."
Sans's brows shot up. He leaned forward curiously, looking a lot more awake. "Oh yeah? You did a fuse? Like, last resort or—"
"Yeah, but on purpose; my idea," she said.
He laughed. "Sheesh, kid!" He reached over and gently tapped on the page with a claw. "So, can you read this?"
"Um, not well," she said. "I can't really play anything except a bit of piano."
"Keep that close, huh?" he said.
She nodded. Just in case, she swapped out a candy bar from her phone and stored the book in there as well. She offered it to Sans and, though he looked curious, he gladly took it and began to munch.
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Frisk sat back and watched the skeleton for a few moments. Truthfully, she was glad he had some very different features from her brother, despite how surreal it was and how familiar he still seemed. Her heart started to hurt again. She folded her arms tight against her chest.
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"Kid, why don't ya hit the hay?" he asked.
"Hit the what?"
"Go to bed," he said with a laugh.
"Oh! I, um…" She shrugged. "S'just hard, I guess."
"But you got those raccoon eyes," he said. "You had a big day."
"I just still don't even know if anyone's okay, though," she muttered.
"You're not gonna learn anything new by staying up," he said.
"But what if Asriel gets here?" she asked.
"Then he'll probably wake ya up." The skeleton put his big hand on her head and gently mussed up her hair. "You know you're safe here, right?"
"Y-Yeah," she said quietly.
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Sans looked thoughtful. He tapped his teeth. "Wanna take a walk?"
Frisk nodded. The skeleton took her hand and helped her to her feet, but she swooned a little, head heavy. He tsked quietly and felt her forehead.
"Can almost feel your brain whirrin' away in there," he teased gently. He pulled a thick, black jacket with a fuzzy hood from nowhere and put it on, immediately making him look a whole lot bigger. He backed up a few steps from the Soul, snapped his fingers, and a portal appeared. "After you."
"Shouldn't we tell them we're leaving?" she asked.
"Nah. Both of us gone; they'll get where we went," he said.
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Outside, in that big field he'd brought her to before, the heights of the sky were dark blue and smattered with stars, but somewhere on the horizon was warmed by a touch of orange, as if a fire were flickering below. Frisk didn't recognize any of the constellations— stars she'd used like a map for a long time probably didn't exist here at all.
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Sans stretched. "Nice breeze, hm?"
"Yeah," she said quietly. She sighed. "Maybe we should go back."
"Yeesh, that was fast," Sans said. He nodded towards the field. "Come on, kid, it'll do ya good." He wandered on ahead lazily in his slightly lopsided gate.
Frisk hopped to catch up. "Sorry, it's just… I wanna be doing something, y'know?"
"You are," he said.
"I mean something to help," she said.
"Same answer."
She raised her eyebrow questioningly. He merely grinned in reply, but his smile faltered a bit when she drooped and shoved her hands into her pockets.
"Aw, kid, c'mon, helpin' yourself is important too."
"How is this helping myself, though?" she asked quietly. "I can't sleep, I can't find Az, I don't know how to get home or how long it's been there or if Sans is okay, and I—"
"Frisk." He said her name rather sternly, so much so that she stalled in her tracks. He knelt down and held her shoulders. "Listen. Deep breaths. Okay? You're alright. Would y'feel better if I gave ya somethin' to do?"
"It's not just take a nap, is it?" she asked.
"Oof. Clever little goober, ain't ya?" he said. "Alright. How about…" He grinned and his eye glittered. "Oh! Actually. I got it. Low stakes energy test, you into it?"
"Yes," she said. Anything to not just count the seconds as they crawled past.
He laughed, patted her on the head, took her by the hands, and backed up a couple steps. "Hang on tight."
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The world shifted and they were standing on a book-laden table in the middle of a giant library, crammed shelves towering over them so high that Frisk couldn't see the tops in the low light. There were many long, rectangular tables laid out on the floor, each adorned with a small, glowing crystal. They were scattered with tomes and paper, and one had someone's dinner left behind.
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Sans snickered and stepped down, and then grabbed the kid under the arms to put her on the ground.
"Welp. Missed by a bit," he said. "No worries. 'Nother little stroll." He started on his way and, again, Frisk hurried to keep up.
"Where is this?" she said.
"Ah, I should get ya a map," he said. "This is west side of the Inner Circle. Big honkin' library and school. Not too far from the palace, really."
"Okay," she said, as if it meant something to her.
Sans patted her on the back. "Look, I know you're one of these hold-it-all-in kinda kids, but if you're too tired for this, tell me, alright?"
Frisk raised her brows, but she nodded. Again, the skeleton chucked at the look on her face.
"My sis told me a lot. Since she was kinda spyin'. She told ya that, right?"
"Yeah," Frisk said. "It's kinda weird but, I mean, it's not like I have anything worth hiding, anyway."
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"I think she likes ya. T'be honest," he said, "I never heard her talk so good about a human before. She's, uh, not really a fan. Might be puttin' it lightly, actually."
"Guess she didn't have it easy either, huh?" Frisk asked worriedly.
Sans nodded. "How 'bout you?"
"Oh. Um. I guess I'm a little scared of them," she admitted. "Maybe they can't shoot stuff out their hands at you, but… I dunno, I found monsters a lot easier to be around. I think it's…" She frowned to herself. "I mean, it's really weird. Now, after everything, I met a few that were okay to me. But… I kinda think sometimes that it's only because I have people older than me around now."
"How'd ya figure?" the skeleton asked curiously.
"Well, it's just… With monsters, right? Even if you're a kid, someone's gonna listen to you and take you serious, y'know? Even when I was on my own, if I had a problem and I asked a monster for help, they would just… help. Sometimes even if we were just fighting like three seconds ago." She grimaced. "I was on my own around humans, too, but when you're a kid, it just feels like nobody takes you serious. They always think you're lying or you're being weird or joking or something."
"Or y'just want attention," he said.
"Yeah, duh, of course I wanted attention, I was a friggin' toddler," she grumbled.
"Sorry, kid," he said.
"No no, it's just…" She shook her head. "I'm trying. I dunno, maybe I won't care so much when I'm a grown-up or something." She looked up at the skeleton worriedly. "Did she see any of that stuff? I mean… surface stuff?"
"Mostly mountain stuff, far as I've heard," Sans said. "Told me a bunch about it. Your world sounds interestin'."
"Well, I like it," Frisk joked.
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At the end of the long, immense library chamber was a huge set of double doors set into a high archway, framed on either side by similar statues of pointy-eared dogs holding a sun disk each in their front paws. Sans shoved his shoulder against the door and it opened onto a balcony overlooking a hallway decorated in fanciful tapestries, with huge, thin arched windows letting in that orange dawn glow from the outside and another set of large doors marking the way out. There was another statue of a dog there, much larger and dressed in a fanciful robe. This one looked like it was peacefully asleep. It held a crescent moon like a slice of watermelon, while a big, stone sun disk somehow floated above its head.
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Frisk followed the skeleton down a set of high stairs, but when a door began to open across the hall, he shoved her behind him and froze. The monster that emerged wasn't the least bit threatening, though. She peeked out from behind him to see what had to be Alphys.
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She was the most different of anyone Frisk had seen so far. She was taller, for one, having half a head on Sans, and she was longer as well, with a spiralled chameleon tail waving behind her. Her yellow scales had some faint bronze striping up her head spikes and on her arms. She had fangs like a snake rather than the buck teeth Frisk recognized, and a little horn on her nose. However, she was wearing a t-shirt that proclaimed a love for a cute cartoon cat creature sitting on a bed of sushi rice and seaweed, and she had little nerdy glasses perched on the bridge of her snout. She was holding a glowing crystal for light in one hand and blinking through dark, bleary eyes.
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"Sans? That you?" Alphys asked.
"Who else?" he said. "Sorry, set off your crystal ball?"
"Oh, hah hah." She cracked a smile. "I w-was going to make some tea. Is that y-your sister with you?"
"Nope. Call her my, uh, cousin," he said with a wink. He looked over his shoulder at the kid. "What d'ya think, pal, introduce yourself?"
"O-Oh! Um, hi," Frisk said, stepping out from behind the skeleton. She raised her hand cautiously. "I'm Frisk. I'm visiting."
"Frisk?" Alphys tilted her head curiously. She smiled. "Awww, a little human! I'm Alphys. Oh! The, um, Archwizard! N-Nice to meet you."
"Y-Yeah, nice to meet you too," she squeaked.
"We're goin' to my trainin' room," Sans said.
"Oh! W-Would you like m-me to bring some tea?" she asked.
"Sure. And a couple extra cups," he said. "I got a feelin' there'll be a few more of us soon."
The lizard laughed. "Alright, alright. Go easy o-on her, okay?"
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Sans thumped Frisk on the back gently and steered her towards another door on their left. Behind it were some unassuming stone steps that lead downwards. There was a final door at the bottom, but this one lead into a much brighter room, made of shiny purple stone. Crystals jutted out of different sections as if they were growing, and there were a couple of wide, squishy cushions on the floor.
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"Welcome to, uh, this place, I guess," he said. He flopped on a pillow and beckoned for her to join him on another one.
She sat down, eyeing the walls curiously. "So, um, what do you need, exactly?"
"Hey, slow down." He stretched his arms high above his head and popped his back. He settled and rubbed one eye sleepily. "So. Basically. What we're gonna have to do is, uh, spend some time gettin' your magic all over this room."
"Okay," she said, raising an eyebrow.
"It's gonna help."
"How?"
He laughed. "Why y'wanna know how, you don't gotta do much more than that."
Frisk pouted. The skeleton's brow took on a sympathetic tilt.
"It's so I can find your home, kid," he said. "Need a record of your magic. This is the best way. It's actually real good that you can project it at all. Takes down a bunch of guesswork."
"I guess I… I just wanna know how it works. Why I can't…? Why's the Soul so dangerous?"
"Oof, you're really gonna make me explain all that?" he asked.
"I-If you don't mind?" she pressed.
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Sans sighed. He leaned back on his bad hand. He looked pretty tired, but he raised one finger. "Soul sees a lot of time and space all at once, and that shoots into ya if y'touch it. Totally messes up people's heads. And sometimes bodies. Won't do any good to throw yourself at it." He raised a second finger. "Need to attune ya to it." A third one. "Gotta get a good grasp of your hum and that whole melody thing; how your magic feels and all that." Fourth one. "Then gotta use that to find where y'came from and send ya straight back home. Any lingerin' around this thing might be bad, so what I figure is if I can just shoot ya outta it, you'll be good."
"O-Oh. That sounds like a lot," Frisk said quietly.
The skeleton shrugged one shoulder. "Eh. Kinda. It's all pretty easy. 'Cept the, uh, findin' your place thing. I mean, not that it's hard. It's just time consumin'."
"What about Asriel?" she asked worriedly.
"What about 'im?"
"Do you need to do all the same stuff to him or—"
"He's strong like you, right? Doubt it. Just the attunement part. Then, uh, just hang onto each other real tight and you'll be fine. I think."
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Frisk nodded, but her throat had gone dry and her stomach was roiling. It all seemed like so much. So much time, space, weighing heavy darkness onto her. She crossed her arms tightly as her eyes got hot.
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Sans gave her a worried look. "What?"
"Nothing, I'm… I'm fine." She rolled her eyes at herself. Could she have managed to sound less convincing? She gritted her teeth and then let out a long sigh. "Sorry, I'm just… It's a lot."
"Can you be patient for me?" he asked.
"I'm gonna do my best," she said.
"Thatta girl. Okay." He sat up a little and held out his hand. "So, let's feel this red stuff."
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Frisk nodded and conjured her magic into her palm to offer him. The bands on her wrists mimicked the colour. He carefully held her hand and the magic glittered along his bones for a moment. His left eye lit with blue and little flecks of red danced in the glow.
"You okay?" she asked.
"Yup." His voice croaked a little. "Whew, that's, uh… strong stuff."
"Does it hurt?" she insisted.
"Nah." He closed his shining eye and kept his other half-lidded. He cupped his bad hand over hers and then, quietly, began to hum her song.
Frisk's heart skipped a beat. Her magic pulsed softly in her skin at every note. Sparkles of red and blue rose up around the skeleton's broad shoulders and, for a moment, he went quiet. His right eye opened wide and the faint light of his pupil stared at her blankly. Then, it began to shift back and forth as if he was reading some passage written in the air.
"Um. You sure you're okay?" she asked.
"Yeah, why?"
"Your eye's goin' nuts."
"Ah. That's normal. Just give me a…" He carefully released her hand and then nodded to himself. He grinned. He opened his other eye, the one shining with blue, and then knocked his head as if to shove his wandering eye back in the right direction. "Okay! Calibrated."
"Caliwhat?"
"Don't worry 'bout it, it's just to see your magic better."
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Frisk looked confused. Sans sighed.
"You're really into explanations, huh?" he asked.
"Yes?"
"Jeez." He put a hand to his head and laughed. "Okay. As y'probably noticed," he said as he gestured to his right side, "this whole side of me got caught on the pointy end of a boss monster. So. Can't exactly see outta this eye. Except for a little magic. Just gotta be able to recognize it." He grinned. "Also, it kinda zooms around when I'm analysin' stuff or readin' even if it can't actually see."
"Sorry," she said quietly.
"Nah, don't be," he said. "Alright, part two." He put a hand on his busted knee and forced himself to his feet. "Now, use it on me."
"What?!" she squeaked.
"Oh, c'mon, it's not so bad. Just give it a shot."
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Frisk cautiously stood up. She eyed the skeleton worriedly, took a few steps back, and then beckoned him to come towards her. He did, slowly, and she put out her hand. Her red magic flared and stopped his leg mid-step, running it over in a loop that kept it in stasis.
"Oh, okay, that feels pretty weird," he said.
"Sorry," Frisk said; she let him go and he quickly re-situated himself.
He looked at his leg and touched it thoughtfully. "Precise," he said. "You're gentle with it. Had some practice?"
"Just a little," she said. "Had to use it in two fights like… today. Yesterday. I dunno."
"Huh. How'd that go?"
"Well, one guy broke his arm pushing against it, b-but I healed him right after," she said. "And then Undyne was—"
"Wait, you can heal with it?" he asked.
"Well. Yeah. I can turn things back in time," she said. "Like, y'know, before it was hurt and stuff."
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"H-Hello? Am I interrupting?" The door pushed in slightly and Alphys poked her snout into the room, smiling sheepishly.
"Nah, not at all," Sans said.
The lizard crept in. She carried a tray with a teapot and quite a few cups on it. Sans raised his hand to greet her and Frisk cautiously did the same. He pointed back the way she came.
"Can I talk to you for just a sec?"
Alphys nodded. First, though, she laid out the tray, pouring a cup of tea and offering it to the kid. "Y-You're okay with monster food, right?"
"Oh! Um. Yeah." She took the cup gingerly. "Thank you."
The monsters left, closing the door behind them. Frisk grimaced. She smelled the tea: it reminded her of freshly cut grass.
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She took the moment to catch her breath. She could hear the hushed rhythm of their words beyond the walls. Wandering the room, she looked at the crystals. Some of them seemed to be growing slightly. Others were shifting with a little red, which they hadn't been doing before. She cautiously rested her fingertips against one. It was warm on her skin.
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Frisk sensed the door opening before she saw it. The monsters returned and Sans flopped down on the ground, letting out a tired sigh. Alphys snickered and joined him, tipping the teapot to fill a few more cups.
"I hope you don't m-mind me sitting in," she said, looking to Frisk. "It's b-been a few years since I've s-seen a new human here. Or. I m-mean. At least, one that wasn't here to c-cause trouble." She tilted her head to the side. "Also, um, I was told you have m-magic? C-Can I see?"
Frisk shot Sans a curious look; he gave her a thumbs up. She tried to ignore her thumping heart and she hurriedly took a seat and a swig of the hot tea. It tasted as much like lawn clippings as it smelled. She offered her hand, letting it shine red again.
"Yeah, um, just let me know if it stings or anything," Frisk said.
"Oh wow!" The lizard tentatively brushed her fingers through the energy and her eyes glazed. Her jaw dropped. "Wow. That's… Th-There's a lot of complicated f-feelings going on, isn't there?"
"Guess so," she said sheepishly.
"I h-heard you, um, had a battle with Undyne, is th-that right?" Alphys asked. "I h-hope she didn't go t-too hard on you."
"C-Couldda gone easier," Frisk said half-jokingly. She took another gulp of tea. It wasn't her favourite, but it was hot, and she felt like she needed it. "I'm, um… I'm used to it, I guess."
"Aw! B-But you're so small!"
Frisk shrugged. "People usually don't care."
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Alphys's dark eyes went wide. She looked to Sans worriedly, but he seemed unbothered.
"Back to it?" he asked.
The kid nodded. Sans shuffled closer to Frisk and then laid his hand over his soul spot as it began to glow. She could already feel its energy chilling the air.
"What colour is this?" he asked.
Frisk frowned, bemused. "Uh. Blue? Light blue?"
Alphys looked excited and the skeleton grinned.
"You heard of attunements?"
"Yeah," she said. "My, uh… My big sister. She helped me with one."
"Oh?! Your sister? S-So, are there more of you? With m-magic, I mean," Alphys asked.
"My sister's a monster," Frisk said quickly. "My whole family are monsters. I don't really know any humans."
Though Alphys was visibly confused, Sans nodded thoughtfully.
"That's good news, actually," he said. "We're gonna do a small one now, okay with you?"
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Frisk was exhausted, but she nodded. She raised her hand and let her magic glow. A bubble of red lifted out much more quickly and smoothly than she'd ever done before despite the quaking of her fingers. Alphys cooed in awe. Sans smiled and let his magic follow, blue shining from his palm.
"Hopefully our methods are similar," he said. "Just, uh, follow what I do, okay?"
She nodded. He scooted closer, sat cross-legged, held his hands with his index and middle fingers touching, the rest of them curled together to form the shape of a heart, and closed his eyes. Frisk copied him. Their magic floated in between the gaps in their fingers.
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His energy was like a pulsing, cool breeze. She took a deep breath and tried to mimic him, like she remembered doing with Undyne. It was easy, at first, and they lost a while in that phase until his soul pressed close enough that she could hear his hum clearly. It was a song steeped in determination. Her eyes began to water and she gritted her teeth. She had a sudden, heart-achingly strong urge to hug the skeleton.
"…S… Sans?" She opened her eyes.
For some reason, he had faint tears running down his cheeks too. She reached out for his hands and had to stop herself. Her voice cracked as her heart broke.
"A-Are…? Are you okay?"
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Before he could answer, the door swung inwards bombastically and Pidge and Papyrus barrelled in with overlapping, loud salutations to all inside. Sans opened his eyes, grinning at his siblings as he quickly wiped his face on his sleeve. Frisk was ripped from the magic and the hum in her ears. The deep, deafening pounding of her heart replaced it. As the two of them greeted Alphys as well, Frisk felt utterly alone. She folded her arms tight and curled up as her stomach twisted itself in knots.
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A hand on her shoulder made her jerk around, only to find Pidge staring her in the face. Her blood ran cold and her heart thumped heavily in her chest, though she couldn't fathom why.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Pidge asked.
"N-Nothing, sorry," she said quickly.
"Sans, what'd you do to her?" she asked.
"What? Nothin'," he said. "We were just doin' attunement."
"But she looks so upset, though!"
"Hey, she was the one who—"
"I wanted to," Frisk said quickly. "I just… couldn't sit around doing nothing."
"What?! Don't tell me you still haven't slept!?" Papyrus demanded, sneaking in close.
Frisk's face flushed. Pidge groaned.
"Friiiisk, c'mon! You gotta sleep!"
Alphys leaned forward with a worried frown on her face. "H-Hey, human, what can we do for you? Anything?"
"I'm okay," she said, even as her voice cracked.
"You don't look okay, though," Pidge said.
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"Oh, you guys, come on now," Papyrus said quickly. He settled in with the kid and plucked her up, lifting her into his lap. "Look at her, did nobody think to give her a hug?!"
As the others looked at each other awkwardly, Papyrus tutted and squished the kid into his arms.
"Don't you worry, human, I have you," he told her gently. "What do you need? Can you tell me?"
Frisk faltered. His soul hummed against hers and the sound wrapped it up warmly. She tried to get a word out, but her throat was too tight. Her voice broke, then she did and hid her face in her hands. She didn't know why it hurt so bad, but she was heartsick and felt a million miles away from everything. Papyrus cooed and lifted her up to cradle her against his chest. He glowed his soul warmly and that did nothing but set her bawling into his shirt.
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"O-Oh no, what happened?" Alphys asked quietly.
"…She wants to go home." Sans's eyes dropped to the ground and he sighed. "Better get to work." He started to stand, but his sister grabbed his sleeve and shot him a look that told him to wait. "What?"
"I think she needs you," she whispered.
"Me?" he asked blankly.
She pushed closer to him. "You're… The other you, he's the one she's most worried about."
"Which is why I should stay as far away as I can without bein' a jerk," he said under his breath.
The girl shook her head insistently, and Sans frowned.
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Alphys's eyes began watering in sympathy. She hurriedly refilled Frisk's cup and snuck in close to her and Papyrus.
"H-Hey… Hey. Human. It's okay. It's o-okay." She brushed Frisk's hair from her face and cooed at her gently. "Take deep breaths, a-alright? You're g-going to be just fine."
"I-I'm s-s-sorry," Frisk choked. "This i-i-is so a-awkward, I'm s-sorry."
"Nooo, no no no, it's fine! Really," Papyrus assured her. "Take deep breaths with me, okay?" He made an act of drawing in very deep breaths and puffing them out a few times.
The kid couldn't help but rasp out a laugh. She tried, but her throat still hitched. Papyrus let her settle onto his knee and Alphys held out her drink for her to take. Sniffling, she did, and she took as big a swig of the hot tea as she could. For all its grassiness, it did clear the sinuses.
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"I'm sorry," she said again.
"Stop, it's okay," Pidge said. "You're really that off, huh?"
"I… I shouldn't be, it h-hasn't even been that long," she grumbled.
"H-Hey, it's okay. It's pretty n-normal to be homesick on trips," Alphys said gently. "I-Is this your first big one away from y-your parents?"
"I, uh… I guess so," she said. She had to wipe her eyes again.
"Truth is," Sans said, "she had to leave home to find a cure for her sick brother. And now it's kinda an ordeal to get her back there."
"Aww, yeah, that's… That's not great," Alphys said. "Y-You guys tell m-me if there's anything I can do to help, huh?"
"We definitely will," Papyrus said. He held Frisk's face in his hands and gently wiped under her eyes. "Let's think, what can we do for you?"
"Y-You guys are already doing enough," the kid said quickly. "It's just me, I-I'm just a mess."
"Frisk, just let us help," Pidge said, rolling her eyes. "You're so stubborn, you know that? Just tell us what you need."
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Frisk blushed shamefully. She clenched her hands into her sleeves. She didn't know how to answer. Pidge nudged Sans gently in the ribs. He winced. He got up slowly and then grabbed Alphys's hands to pull her up with him.
"Come with me a minute," he said.
"Oh, um, sure," she said.
Pidge glared daggers at him and he shrugged, though his cheekbones flushed blue as he left. She rolled her eyes again. She got close to Frisk and grabbed her hand.
"Sorry about him, he's just—"
"Why a-are you sorry?" she asked.
"Hasn't he been giving you a hard time?"
Frisk shrugged and shook her head. Pidge frowned, her eyes darting between her and the door. She raised her brows at Papyrus. He sighed and gently put Frisk back on a pillow.
"I'll be right back, too," he said as he left.
.
Pidge settled in beside the kid and inspected the red bands glowing on her wrist. "I'm serious. If there's anything you need…"
"Why does Sans's soul sound like that?" she asked worriedly.
The girl's eyes went wide. "Sound like… what?" Her tone was heavily cautious.
"I dunno, maybe… Maybe it's normal here? In my world, his hum never sounds all the way like that unless he went through something awful," she said. "And he…" She put her hand over her own soul spot. "He felt… cold, I guess. Is he okay?"
"Oh…! You hear those, too. Of course." Pidge nodded thoughtfully. "He's… okay. Yeah. He just…" She sighed. "You should probably ask him about it."
"Guess it'll just have to stay a mystery," Frisk joked.
Pidge chuckled. "You're not wrong." She sighed. "We all went through some stuff breaking the curse. His stuff was just a bit… rougher, I guess."
"Never met a guy named Sans who could catch a break," Frisk said quietly.
"He saved a lot of people," the girl said.
"I believe it."
.
Pidge got up and went to the door. She leaned her ear against it and then pulled back, pouting. "Wanna just go? This sucks."
"B-But I thought I needed to do this to go home," Frisk said.
"Yeah, but…" The girl huffed, frustrated. She went to the wall where some of the jutting crystals shimmered. She grabbed a few of the ones that were humming with red and clutched them close. "Okay. Hit me."
"What? Are you sure?"
"Wouldn't have said it if I wasn't." She braced herself. "I gotta channel it right. Hurry up."
.
Frisk had never used this kind of magic on a human before. She took a deep breath and brought the red glow to her hands. She focussed on those crystals as much as she could, letting the magic freeze them in time. They started to shimmer and vibrate, letting out a strange, ethereal resonance. Pidge winced. She closed her eyes and her own soul shone red as well. She began to shake, and she held her breath. The crystals washed over completely with Frisk's colour and Pidge huffed.
"Okay," she said.
.
Frisk dropped the magic instantly and the other girl rubbed a hand across her face. She took a moment to catch her breath, but then quickly crossed the room, pushing Frisk lightly back into the wall. She hovered her fingers over the kid's soul spot.
"Hang on." Her voice was low and steady.
"Are you okay?" Frisk asked.
"Shhh. Just let me…" Her fingers bent like a claw and she dragged out the light; with an extra pull, the white pinpricks shimmered across it. She leaned her ear in closer. Her eyes went wide and stared a million miles away. "…Is that…?"
"H-How'd you get it to do that?" Frisk asked. She put her hand over her soul but the white vanished. "…Aw."
"Ah! I'm sorry," Pidge said quickly, pulling back. "It's… weird. Like they're there but also not."
"Yeah…" She shrugged sheepishly. "We, um, were still trying to figure it out. Could…? Could you feel them?"
Though there was a troubled frown on the girl's brow, she nodded. "I… thought I could hear… Never mind." She picked up a cup of tea and chugged it. "Let's get outta here."
.
Taking Frisk by the hand, the freckled girl guided her out and up the stairs. The two skeletons and the lizard were up in the hallway above, in a huddle, talking in hushed tones. Frisk sighed. She'd made everything weird, hadn't she? She brushed her hand over her eyes.
.
Pidge darted over to Sans and presented him with the red crystals. He looked surprised as he took them.
"You channeled on your own?" he asked. "Didn't hurt?"
"Course it hurt, but we need to do it," she said.
He sighed and patted her on the head. "Thanks."
"Nyeeeh, be careful, okay?!" Papyrus said, hugging the girl tight.
"I know, I know, don't worry," she said.
"We're gettin' there." Sans looked up and caught Frisk's eye. He beckoned her over to join them.
.
She hesitantly came close and the skeleton put his hand on her shoulder.
"Doin' okay?" he asked. "Sorry, seems my soul made ya a little blue."
Though Pidge and Papyrus winced, Frisk cracked a smile.
"It's just, y'know I do gotta indi-go home," she said.
Collective groans were drowned out by Sans chortling loudly. He mussed up the kid's hair.
"I guess the s-sense of humour had to run in the family somewhere," Alphys teased.
"Huh?!" Pidge bleated.
"W-Well, she's your cousin, right?" The lizard winked.
"O-Oh! Yeah! Of course," she said, grabbing Frisk's hand.
.
Frisk had a flash— something behind her. She turned and stepped back as the doors burst open with a swirl of green magic, like wind given shape. A skeleton in silver armour stood there, eyes blazing in the low light. Papyrus quickly grabbed Frisk up and Sans stepped in front of them both.
"Cool it," he said. "S'just us."
"Hey, Mist," Pidge said.
Mistral wilted. "Oh." She came inside and politely closed the doors behind her, rubbing the back of her skull. She stuck a hand up to greet them. "You really need to get all this under control, Sans. You're lucky it was me."
"Yeah yeah." He rolled his eyes.
"These things just let you find me wherever, huh?" Frisk asked, holding out her arms so the bands were clear.
"Of course," Mistral asserted. "That's what they're for, human."
"Don't w-worry, they just lit up with her magic, we were a-all here," Alphys said with a smile.
"Right. Yes. I see"
"Nyeh! Why wouldn't you believe me, then?!" Papyrus asked.
"You're sweet and soft-hearted, and too forgiving," Mistral said as she folded her arms.
"Wh…?! No I'm not!" he said, clutching Frisk closer protectively.
"Eh, kinda are," Pidge said quietly.
"Sshhhh shhh shush, sister, you're supposed to be on my side," he said at a too-loud whisper.
.
Sans chuckled. "You didn't come all the way here just for this, did ya?"
"No, in fact, I was looking for the Queen," Mistral said. "She was here the last dozen times I couldn't find her."
Alphys blushed. "Sh-She left a little while ago to do a patrol."
"Without telling me. Again. Of course." Mistral rolled her eyes. "Well. You wouldn't happen to know where?"
The lizard tepidly shrugged. Mistral sighed. She turned on her heel and marched away.
"I'm off, then. Keep out of trouble," she said.
.
Frisk saluted. Pidge hid her face behind her hands and snorted laughing as the skeleton left. Alphys shook her head, smiling fondly. She turned on the others and gestured down the hall.
"It's a-about breakfast time, would you like to j-join me?"
"Yes," Pidge said right away.
"But…?" Frisk wanted to ask more about attunement, but the eyes of the others on her forced the words back down her throat.
Sans looked at her knowingly. He smiled. "Wanna just try to finish up our first round?"
She nodded quickly. "I… I'll try not to cry too much this time," she said.
He laughed. "Great. Same."
xXxXx
Attunement went smoother the second time. Their souls still reacted strangely, echoing and repeating emotions. It made them both a little misty-eyed, but Frisk staved off most of the heavy crying this time. Even so, Sans seemed to have gotten what he needed. As they finished up, somehow, she actually felt a lot better.
.
When she and Sans joined the others in a cozy little kitchen with pillowy floor seating and a low table (a lot like the cabin Frisk had awoken in to begin with), the big, fluffy pancakes Alphys had made were cold, but they were still good, especially with butter and marmalade. The anxious energy inside Frisk was starting to fade. If she remembered right, finishing the attunement would probably knock her out for a little bit, soon. Hopefully not too long, but she couldn't help but acknowledge that she needed the rest. In the meanwhile, though, she took some photos of the pancakes and snapped a quick one of the room, too. Maybe that could be something to pass the time. She was sure some of the others back home would love to see how this place looked, despite how weirdly existential it might be.
.
Pidge leaned in over her shoulder. "What's…? Oh! Is that one of those phone things? Can I see?"
"Sure," Frisk said, handing it off.
The girl grinned and shuffled in close. She peered at the screen intently and cautiously touched it. The photo scrolled to the next on the roll, and she squealed with surprising shrillness. "Oh, look at this! Aaah, we don't have these here! Oh, my gosh, can this do videos?!"
"Yeah," Frisk said.
"Ah, I love that! We used to have to use these big clunky camcorder things," she said. "And then you had to extract the crystal and fit it into a cassette deck, and the whole thing was a huge pain, to be honest." She grinned. "Did you know, monsters had those like hundreds of years before humans even thought to try it?!"
"Wh…? Um. N-No, I had no clue," Frisk said.
"She's a litttttle bit obsessed," Papyrus teased. "I still have yet to see one of these mysterious camcorders."
"Wh…?! Um!" Pidge gulped and she smiled sideways. "M-Maybe in the Inner Circle! Anyway, get me a box and a lens and some record crystals and I bet I can make one! But forget that junk!" She turned her excited gaze sharply on Frisk. "Do you have any cartoons?!"
"Cartoons?" Frisk repeated.
"Yeah, can you store any cartoons?" Her eyes seemed to sparkle. "Ooh, I love cartoons, they're just starting to make them here."
Frisk couldn't help the confusion on her face. "But they had them where you came from?"
"Y… Um. Well, yeah, I mean… They, um, had some different stuff, I guess." She smiled bashfully. "I feel like I missed a lot."
"Same," Frisk admitted. "I, um, kinda only started having a house like a year ago and I mostly just watch what my brothers do or I watch anime, um…" Her eyes darted to Alphys for a moment. "With some friends." She caught a look of pity on Pidge's face. "But, um! I think I mostly just have music on there, but there might be something."
"Can I look, too?" Papyrus asked, sliding over and leaning around the kids.
"As long as you don't mind maybe seeing… Papyrus," Frisk said.
"Actually, I'd love to!"
"Don't freak out, though." Sans was half-asleep, but he still looked thoroughly amused.
"Bah! I won't!"
.
As he settled in with her, Frisk started to feel the drowsiness weighing her lids down. Sans was already out and snoring. Alphys was stealing his jacket from him and replacing it with a blanket. She rubbed her eyes and she blinked, drifting away for longer and longer each time.
.
Then, mist was all around her. The thrum of magic and the clunking of machinery. The CORE. She was upright, heart already pounding as she tried to figure out what was going. The glow of green eyes dyed the fog and she stepped backwards worriedly. A skeleton emerged; her father's form with an aura of hatred, arm extended with threatening magic spiking around him. Her heart broke. Now this guy lived in her dreams, too.
.
He began to say something but his left arm grabbed to his right and forced it downwards as if it was possessed. He staggered and collapsed onto his knees, retching out black sludge.
"Wha…?" Frisk's eyes went wide. She fought her instinct to run— this wasn't the proper memory.
Suddenly, that glow wasn't the same. It was blue and gold. Her mind tripped over itself. It couldn't be…
.
He lunged for her and pulled her into a tight, warm hug. She squeaked with surprise and her heart ached. Was this just because she missed him so much? It twisted that cruel skeleton into the Gaster she knew?
.
He said something, but it was like a mumble just out of her hearing range. His soul made a noise she recognized and, to her shock, she felt it brush against hers just for an instant. Through the words she couldn't understand, she heard two that she could:
"I'm searching." He gave her a squeeze.
Frisk's heart dropped. That sounded like him; his accent, his cadence. She grabbed him tight, her eyes watering. "D… Dad?"
.
Then, she was holding air. She grimaced and sat back on the floor as the fog blanketed her, quickly rubbing her eyes on the back of her hand. Could it have really been him? Or was that just wishful thinking? But, searching, that wasn't something that she really associated with him. Why would her mind have him say that? What if those were his actual words? His actual soul? She put a hand to her chest.
.
The ground gave way and Frisk floated off, the mist pressing in white, then grey, and then giving way to darkness. She didn't want to leave; she wanted to figure this out. But, she couldn't fight it. She shut off.
.
When Frisk woke up, she immediately hurled black goo all over the floor, much to the chagrin of the other little human and the skeleton that held her. Her brain vaguely acknowledged their shrieking and some sort of questioning tone, but she was too busy trying to figure out where exactly she was or why her head hurt so badly.
.
She sat back, eyeing over a living room that looked like the one she was used to, but slightly different. Oh, right, she thought. Different world. That was still real. She put a hand against her head and took a deep breath. She was yanked from her thoughts and from the floor as well by skeleton hands.
"Nyeeeh, what happened?!" Papyrus barked.
"Ugh, I thought sleep was supposed to help!" Pidge whined.
"Sorry. Sorry, I'm okay," Frisk said.
.
"What was that?!" the girl demanded. She hopped onto the couch as Papyrus put Frisk down, and she grabbed her by the shoulders and looked her over. "Huh, I expected there to be slime all over you."
She shook her head. "It goes away super fast. It's weird time goo." She put a hand to her head and sighed. She shot Papyrus a curious look. "You guys don't have a Gaster, do you?"
"Who?" The skeleton asked.
"No, no Gaster," Pidge said swiftly. "…Why?"
"Oh, it's just… he's one of the best with all this time stuff, I just thought maybe…" Frisk shook her head. "Nah, never mind." Maybe it was for the best. She wasn't sure if she could handle meeting another one in any capacity now, if she were honest with herself. "Th-That's fine. Guess I shouldn't really expect to see him if he keeps getting knocked outta time and space, actually."
"He did what?!" Pidge exclaimed.
"Wait, who?" Papyrus insisted again.
"My dad. He's in the pictures," she said. "Dunno if you saw a skeleton with a cracked face? But—"
"Oh yes! I remember," Papyrus said.
"Wait, that's…?" Again, Pidge looked aghast, though she tried to hide it. Her face was unusually pale. She clamped her mouth shut and rested her face in her sleeve. "O-Oh, interesting!"
Frisk tilted her head. "…Do you know him?" she asked hesitantly.
"Nope! No! Just, um, saw a little through the dreams and stuff, that's all," she said quickly. "I didn't realize it was… That he was your dad."
"Yeah, it was new to me, too," Frisk joked, even though her heart hurt.
"I thought you said you knew eeeeverything about her, little sister," Papyrus teased.
"Ssshhuuush, shuddup," Pidge said, waving him off quickly. "I-I was exaggerating!"
Papyrus cackled and mussed up her hair. He shot Frisk a smile. "It was interesting seeing faces that were familiar but also different. Especially the other Papyrus! And that tiny Papyrus! They weren't the same Papyrus, though, were they?"
"No, the really young one, that was…" A sharp pain stung Frisk in the temple. She drew in a sharp breath. "Eck… He was, um, from another timeline."
"Are you okay?" Pidge asked.
"I, uh…" Chunks of light in shifting colours smattered across the room before her eyes. She blinked hard. "I'm having weird, um, time visions?"
"What?!" The girl squawked.
"What are you seeing?" Papyrus asked.
"Just… bits of different time, it happened before but…" She shook her head quickly.
.
A hard thunk from upstairs drew all of their eyes. Sans's door flung open and the skeleton, in just a sleeveless tee and dog-and-bone patterned pyjama pants, stumbled out of the room. He looked dazed.
"Brother?" Papyrus asked.
Sans vanished and reappeared in front of Frisk. He held out a blinking crystal. "Somethin's goin' on."
It took her a moment to understand, but the second she did, she jumped to her feet. "Can we go?"
Sans nodded. He looked to the others.
"W-We'll… We'll catch up." Pidge was holding very tightly to Papyrus's arm. "Don't want to throw you off course."
.
Sans nodded, grabbed Frisk, and they were back out in the field near the Soul of the World in an instant. By the time they got into the mountain chamber, half of the kid's vision was made up of chunks of something off of reality. The glowing centre of the Soul was flickering, but otherwise, everything was silent. Something was wrong, though. Frisk could sense it in the melody in the air.
.
Sans went for the chair he'd put near the light. The crystal he'd left behind flickered in tandem with the one that he held. Both synched with the wavering Soul. Asriel was nowhere to be seen.
"That ain't normal," Sans said under his breath. "Kid, you okay?"
"I'm seeing things," she said. "I-It's fine, whatever. Do you know what's going on?"
"Uh…" He stuck his hands against the magic light and the radiant energy flitted between his bones and up his arms. "Something, uhh… Oh. Maybe it's somethin' tryin' to get in?"
"Is it Asriel?" she asked shrilly.
"I can't, uhh…" He huffed. "Whew. I can't do anything out there."
"I can, isn't there something I could—?"
"Don't touch it," he said quickly. "We aren't dunkin' you into an existential time hell on my watch, kiddo."
.
Jerking back, the skeleton shook out his hands. A strange symbol was glowing on the back of his left one. Frisk grabbed it to look: it was a like a thin crescent moon under his knuckles, curved overtop of a circle in the middle of his hand.
"Is it okay?" she asked worriedly.
"Fine," he said. "Normal." He rubbed his skull. "Damn." He began to pace as the colours running through the white of the Soul began to shift towards blue. He shook his head, but he stopped in front of Frisk. "You can see into this stuff, yeah? Touch it and stuff?"
"Yeah," she said.
"Got a plan."
"Okay."
"Need you," he said.
"Okay," she repeated.
He frowned slightly. "Might hurt."
"I said okay," she said.
"Might leave a scar somewhere."
"That's fine!" she insisted. "If it's to help— if it'll help Az— I'll do whatever!"
.
Sans nodded. He grabbed her hand and held her tight, his claws pricking into her skin. The multi-coloured magic in his bones slithered down his fingers and stung her gently. It scrambled her vision even more and she blinked hard.
"Alright?" he asked.
"Yeah."
"Can you sync up with me? I need to, uh, borrow a bit of your stuff."
Frisk was getting dizzy. She cupped a hand over her soul and let it glow red. His mirrored her, and the shift to purple was almost instant. He drew in a sharp breath— hadn't expected it— but his shoulders went slack. He let go of her hand but pulled her close with his other arm and held onto her.
"Just, uh… I'm not sure what'll happen," he said.
She nodded. He steadied himself, closed his eyes, and touched the Soul.
.
The world around them shimmered and Frisk's scrambled vision went black. She squeaked but realized swiftly that she was looking at the void. Her gaze shot around on its own and she realized she wasn't looking herself, but that it was Sans who she was seeing through.
"Well would you look at that." His awed voice came in through her mind. "But where's…?"
A shock of white in the corner of his eye— he turned to face it. A clawed paw reaching out; blazing pale green eyes shining in the dark. His soul was beaming red.
"A-Az!" Frisk squeaked.
Sans reached his hand out, magic from the Soul coursing over it like a skin.
"Frisk?!" Asriel barked. His voice sounded like it was coming through water. He grasped Sans's hand tight. "Almost there, I—!"
.
He was hit, hard, yanking him from Sans's grip. Some other form, light and pitch black, shot past them, and then a beam of light in a vibrant spectrum with a thrum of deep, vibrating magic thudded into him.
"Nooo, no no no, not again!" Frisk yelled. "Az!"
"Go! I'll find you!" he shouted.
They couldn't see him. Sans began to shudder. Frisk pushed her soul closer to his to try to bolster him, but he couldn't withstand any more.
.
They both collapsed into the real world, heads spinning, staring up at the crystals glowing on the ceiling. Frisk rolled onto her side and coughed out sludge as her vision unscrambled and her heart pounding drowned out all sounds. She was yanked back suddenly and was looking into Pidge's face as the girl supported her in her arms. She was saying something.
"I… I can't…" Frisk's head was throbbing. She sat up as much as she could only to see Papyrus leaning down over Sans.
He had not gotten up.
.
Frisk pushed herself to her feet and wobbled over to him, dropping down to her knees in the grass. He was unconscious. Papyrus grabbed her shoulder.
"What happened?!" His shrillness and the buzz of his soul broke through her daze. "You two were stuck there for hours!"
The kid gulped hard. She gently moved away from him and she touched onto Sans's soul. He was hurt badly, somewhere, but she could feel it more than she could see it. It instantly brought back sickening memories of her brother's melting skull, from when a tear in time had burst through his bones. She took a deep breath, pulled her magic up into her hands, and gasped him tight, rewinding him as much as she could. His body seemed to shift before her and she sensed a moment where he didn't feel sick. She let him latch and released him, and he shot up instantly, eyes wide and glowing.
.
"Oh thank god," Papyrus wheezed.
Frisk let out a long sigh and she shook. Her vision blurred and Sans quickly grabbed her against his chest as she swooned.
"Kid?" he said.
"S'okay. Okay. I… I gotta…" She was so tired. She blinked hard and tried to sit up. "We gotta… Gotta go back, we g-gotta…"
"Relax. Relax," Sans said gently.
"But… Az is…"
Pidge grabbed her hand. "What's happening to her?!"
"She's exhausted." The short skeleton cradled her in his arms. "Chill out, kid. It's okay. Rest."
"B-But… Asriel, I…" She couldn't keep her eyes open. "I… I gotta find… another w-way, I…"
"You will. Just rest. I gotcha."
"I g-gotta… I gotta…" Gone.
.
The skeleton sighed softly and rocked her, humming quietly. Papyrus huffed and rubbed his head. Shellshocked, the other girl plopped down and stared, wide-eyed.
"You a-almost died," she squeaked.
"I'm fine," he whispered. "Don't worry. Knew I would be."
"Tell me next time!" she said sharply. She pouted and wiped her eyes. "S-Stupid."
He chuckled. "Just a bit quieter, huh?" His gaze was a million miles away. "…I saw him."
The girl grimaced. She nodded. "Was he okay?"
"He was fightin'," he said. "We'll find a way."
"Who is he fighting, though?" Papyrus asked worriedly.
"I'm not sure. It was too dark," Sans said. He stared at Frisk's flickering red soul until it relaxed and died down, and her breathing calmed. He smiled sideways. "We gotta get this kid a faintin' couch or somethin'."
"Ugh, Sans, don't tease, this is rough," the kid grumbled.
"Mhm. Definitely not for the faint of heart."
"You think you're a real comedian, huh?" she rebuked, though it was mostly in jest.
"You're literally holding that passed out kid in your arms and you're doing wordplay?" Papyrus said.
"I feel like she'd appreciate it." Sans grinned and shrugged a shoulder. His eyes flitted down— the claw marks he'd left on her hand shimmered with light, but they quickly faded. "…We'll see."