"So you staying home today then Pixie?" Darry asked me grabbing his keys from the coffee table.

I nodded. "Mmm, may go out to see, uh, Emily,"

"She sick or somethin'?"

"Yeah something like that," I mumbled and Darry nodded.

"'Kay, I'll see you tonight then, stay outta trouble, got it?"

I nodded and Darry walked out of the door and I sighed with relief. Before I could feel too safe though I heard someone snort from behind me and Sodapop stood in front of me, his arms crossed and a confused expression on his face.

"To hell you're going to see Emily! We've barely seen her in years the other day was pretty weird but like you'd be seeing her again 'specially when she ain't even sick you liar!" Sodapop cried out shaking his head. "Come out of it Pix, what you doin'?"

"Sodapop I'm seeing Emily."

"Liar. She wouldn't be up at the crack of dawn. You'd have slept in at least like normal." Sodapop said eyeing me. "Now seriously what are you planning girl?"

I sighed loudly. "Go 'way Soda I don't wanna have to lie to you,"

"Then don't."

"Okay well that requires you to go, NOW!" I said trying to push him to the door and failing as he laughed at me. "Aw Sodapop please go! You'll know later!"

"Can't you just tell me?"

"NO!" I moaned loudly.

"You're a pain in the ass sometimes sister."

"So are you," I retorted successfully shoving him out the door. "Now bug off to work!"

"I love you too honey!" He said blowing kisses to me.

I rolled my eyes. "Soda stop being a dumbass!"

"Got it off you!"

"Loser."

"I know you are what am I?" Sodapop replied childishly.

I poked my tongue out at him and he laughed and jumped into Steve's car, which had just pulled up. Shaking my head with a smile I waved them off and as soon as the car as out of sight I sunk down on the steps of the porch nervously. That was one close call…any longer I would've spilt it, it's impossible to lie to Sodapop as he makes you feel as guilty as hell.

I started to tap my foot nervously and I began chewing on my lip. I do that whenever I'm nervous. I'm sure if any of the guys came by now they'd be able to tell instantly what I was going to be able to do. I seemed to give things away really easily without meaning to. I'm good with most secrets but its just they're all real able to read my body language as my mom would say.

I glanced at my watch. It was only seven thirty. Dally never really gave me a time but I'd give him 'til eight then I'd call him. I was getting slowly impatient over the next few minutes and began untying and retying my Converse high tops about three times before that got boring and I decided to tie my hair up. Satisfied with my shoes and my hair I began trying to smooth the crinkles out of my jeans, failing mind you, when Dallys car, or really Buck Merril's, skidded to a stop.

"Get in Curtis." Dally called out leaning over to the passenger side and throwing open the door. "Be quick about it!" He replied sarcastically as I hadn't moved an inch.

I stood straight up and walked to the car and sat inside closing the door slowly and turning to look at him. "So like, you serious about this?"

"Huh?"

"I'm gonna get to see Ponyboy right?"

"Well yeah."

I smiled with relief and did up my seatbelt quickly as Dally took off. "That's good."

Daly nodded and stared straight at the road. "Anyone know anything?"

"Nope. Sodapop would've but I kicked him outta the house," I informed him. "But just for the record I'm out seeing Emily okay, she's sick so you keep to that too,"

Dally turned and stared at me. "You seen her lately?"

"The other day, why?"

Dally shrugged and went back to focusing on the road. "Just seems to have changed y'know?" I nodded although I really didn't. "I mean you remember before their dad left she kept all that shit from everyone?"

"Mmm yeah,"

"Do ya reckon she's doing it now?"

As he stopped the car at the traffic lights I felt his light blue eyes burning into my face as I looked at him.

"Why would she be hiding stuff from us now Dal?"

"I don't know. But it's not like she ever sees any of anymore does she?"

"But her and Pony stopped being in the same classes," I shrugged. "Have you seen her or something?"

"Yeah I've seen her quite a bit in the past few months." Dally said with a slight laugh. "Don't think Matthews would be impressed if he knew where either but she sure don't seem to be a kid no more. She's more messed up than any of us could know I reckon."

I froze slightly as we suddenly left the city and out for the country. But I wasn't paying the slightest bit of attention to the scenery my mind was filled with thoughts of the sweet girl I'd spoken with the other night. The girl who was upset that she'd never had a boyfriend or a kiss. Perhaps that was a façade. Or perhaps her other side was her tough girl façade.

"Are you serious? Where?"

"Bucks a couple of times, tad not herself if you get me." Dal said taking a sharp turn at full sped and I was flung against the door. "Never would've pictured it if I hadn't seen her for myself. Guess her old man leaving affected her worse than we all thought."

I nodded. I was speechless. This could not be true! Emily would never drink or go to parties! Well not the Emily I knew. Back when we were kids Emily was loud and rough around us but then she'd be all sweet and pretty and perfect…never a party go-er in either sense. I can't picture this at all. Weird.

Dally noticed my silence because he spoke up. "You don't believe me do you?"

I wrinkled my nose slightly. "Well its just I can't picture it, I mean the other night she told me she was worried because she'd never even had her first kiss! It just doesn't fit, you know?"

"No I don't know." Dally said bluntly as he took a sharp turn around the corner ignoring my glare as I was flung against the door again. That'd bruise I'm telling you. "But I sure as hell saw her there."

"Anyone else know?"

"Feel like seeing Darry's face?"

I bit my lip and suppressed my giggle. That'd be a sight. Perhaps I never mentioned it before but in our gang you either look out for someone or you are looked out for ourselves. I mean we all look out for one another and that but we all tend to specifically have one person we look out for or are looked out for themselves.

Sodapop always looked out for Ponyboy, but they're so close anyway I'm not sure if Ponyboy ever noticed it. Steve looked out for me, but seeing as we're best friends it was more mutual looking out for each other. Dally clearly looked out for Johnny, god he loved that boy so much. In truth Two-Bit was kinda singled out…none of us ever really classified him as responsible enough to look after someone else, I mean in truth he needed to be looked out for! But for Darry he was closest to Emily. Always had been. Weird relationship there. He was the big brother she lacked. It was so cute to see him get worried over ere when we were little I admit. But I imagine he'd totally flip if he knew she'd been to Bucks. He'd go absolutely mental.