Danny glanced around, torn between amused worry and hysterical laughter. The ghosts had formed a conga line outside Ghost Writer's library. There were dancing shrimp and cartoon-style sunflowers that weaved back and forth, singing something in Japanese. Apparently, Lament had eschewed the Broadway theme in favor of old, random anime. He filmed more of Plasmius just because he knew how annoying it would be later before going inside.
Fiona squealed happily and ran forward, barking, to scatter the myriad woodland creatures. Ghost Writer didn't bother to look up; it was just one more distraction until Danny called out. He fixed the laughing ghost boy with an irate glare. "You had to come back, didn't you?" he demanded, shooing a pair of mice from his shoulder. "I almost had everything under control again."
Danny raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, it looks like it," he lied.
Ghost Writer sighed and leaned back, then jerked forward again to knock a squirrel out of his chair. "Back to gloat?"
"Actually, we need your help."
They stared at each other for several minutes while the ghost considered that. It was on his tongue to ask why he should. Then he glanced Fiona, who had stopped barking to growl up at a raccoon in a bridal gown. The raccoon in particular bothered him. It had been dancing around his feet earlier, humming the first four notes of the Wedding March over and over. He glanced back at Danny and sighed. "I assume you have a plan?"
The boy nodded. "Fiona says you can send me to her world."
There was a pause while Ghost Writer registered surprise for some reason. "Not really you, exactly," he corrected, sounding a little bewildered. "More like an avatar…I can certainly try." He paused again to shake his head. "I suppose it's not all that different from capturing you in my little Christmas poem. Very well, but I'll need a distraction."
"Distraction!" Fiona squealed, breaking off from the raccoon to chase her tail excitedly. "Oh, let me! I make good distractions!" Her feet slipped out from beneath her, and she slid across the floor, still rotating slowly, to grin up at Ghost Writer. He chuckled lightly in spite of himself and muttered something about being able to see that.
Danny nodded decisively. "Okay, Fiona. Go." She gave one last happy howl and vanished. "Now, what?"
"Now?" Ghost Writer repeated, going back to his keyboard. "Give me a moment."
The raccoon bride was the first to go, though it was quickly replaced with a groom. The author grumbled something about too much caffeine as a flock of canaries descended upon every available surface. A moment later, the background music faded, followed by the singing of the sunflowers from outside. The roses disappeared. "Oh, blessed silence," Ghost Writer breathed.
Puck suddenly appeared to scatter the canaries. He chattered angrily as they vanished, then screeched and shook his finger at the ghost.
"No," Ghost Writer said brightly as the last of the woodland creatures followed the paths of their fellows. "Time to go back to your master." The creature mooned him as it faded away, prompting laughter from his audience. "Oh, don't laugh too hard. It's your turn, now."
"What do you mean 'my turn'?" Danny demanded. The ghost merely flashed a satisfied smirk, and the world faded away. He found himself in a dark void that was completely silent for about a second before the low voices intruded. The world that faded back into view could easily have been mistaken for Technus' laboratory. The walls and floor of the long hall were a silvery metal, possibly steel. Turning, he found a bright light that looked like some kind of portal shining through a hole in the wall.
"It's a concept," said Ghost Writer's voice. "Not a real place. There's a breach in our world that lets her avatar through, but I have no desire create one in her world. Bad enough they can get here. Don't worry. It's close enough."
"Are you sure?" Danny asked tentatively.
"Just start walking. I'd like to get this over with as quickly as possible." After another moment's hesitation, the boy complied. He could hear shouting ahead, though it failed to prepare him for the complete chaos he walked into.
"Ah! Bunnies! Ah!"
"Catch then; catch them!"
"How'd they get out of the hutch?"
"Hutch? These are from the warren!"
"Oh, crud…Catch them!"
"I'm going to kill that plot device…"
A little boy who looked astonishingly like Macaulay Culkin ran by, screaming at the top of his lungs.
"Panic!" someone yelled. "Go scream somewhere else!"
Danny shook his head slightly. There were rabbits everywhere, and not all them looked entirely normal. Some were large; some were small. Some were normal rabbit colors; others had thrown aside subtlety in favor of pastels. There were flashes of hot pink and neon green in that herd and, dancing among them and, frantically trying to catch them, were vaguely humanoid bits of amorphic fog. He inched along the wall to stay out of the way, wondering where they all came from even as he was forced to agree with Ghost Writer's satisfied laughter. Eventually, his back encountered open air, and he slipped into a large library that was astonishingly quiet considering the noise outside.
"Uncivilized barbarians, are they not?" asked a quiet voice. The boy turned to find himself confronted by an elf. At least, he thought she was an elf; her ears were pointed and somewhat longer than a human's. On the other hand, did elves have such bright red eyes or pale blue hair? She reminded him vaguely of a character from a video game he'd seen once. "Mariel," she said, possibly in answer to his quizzical expression. "Mariel Zeal. Welcome to the graveyard of forgotten characters."
"The…what?" he asked, uncertain that he had heard right.
She laughed and set her book aside to stretch lazily across the love seat. "They're fools, out there," she replied. "Life is an illusion, you see. We are all just puppets of a higher power. Even Elegy herself is nothing but a character in some novel. Even you are. But they? They chase plot bunnies as though it's all out of control, as though it won't snap right back into normalcy the second you and your friend are gone."
For some reason, despite her heavy robes, Mariel reminded him of some Persian princess, languishing on a divan while her suitors begged favors. Then he wondered where that description came from.
"Sorry, that was me," Ghost Writer said, though he didn't sound particularly sorry.
Mariel laughed again, a sound like silver bells. "You're expected, by the way." She waved a lazy hand in the general direction of deeper into the library and went back to her book. After some quiet prompting from the unseen author, Danny continued.
It was an odd place with an eclectic population. There was a giant rat running from a pair of magpies. Once, he saw what looked like a werewolf with bat's wings. At some point, the library became a cave populated by a four-armed people that might have been carved from some black rock. The cave opened onto a mountain range, and he stopped for a moment to stare at the half-human, half-dragon creatures. After that, he found himself on an endless plain walking toward a huge tree. There were no people there, but he thought he saw Puck once or twice. A door at the base of the tree led him back into the lab setting and another herd of escaped plot bunnies.
"No wonder she's capable of such illogic," Ghost Writer muttered. "I'm beginning to wonder if I actually needed that distraction."
"Oh, probably not," Elegy called from somewhere above. Danny looked up to see her rushing across a set of catwalks. She stopped to look over the edge at him. "I would have let you in you'd just knocked."
"Where's Lament?" the boy demanded.
Elegy grinned. "Why? Aren't you having fun anymore?" Before he could think of an appropriate response, she pointed toward a door. "Back in there, waiting. Have fun."
Danny watched her hurry off again before turning his attention to the door. It might have been stolen from the set of Star Trek and, in fact, slid open with a hiss at his approach. Beyond, all he could see was light. Against his better judgment, and possibly at Ghost Writer's prompting, he stepped through.
A/N: In order of appearance, Panic was just a concept. Mariel Zeal and Rat are from The Thief and the Swordsfrog, which is my only Chrono Trigger fanfic. The magpies were completely random.The winged werewolf was Gabriel Valentine from a Final Fantasy 7 fic that I'm kind of embarrased to claim as mine. The cave and mountain range were from my original world that will probably never be actually written, and were populated by the Shalen'Dari and the Yylon'Dari respectively. The plain was Haven, the home of The Mother and The Father, who are the patron deities of said original world. And the lab setting was just because I like Technus.
I would like to take this moment to apologize and to thank you all for putting up with this bit of self-indulgence. I needed to get it out of my head, though I hadn't actually intended it to be part of this story.