CHAPTER VII

To Luther and William Möser

Soldiers, allies, friends, and brothers.

I wish I could be there to say goodbye to you and all who perished these last few days, but I'm sure you'd understand the reason for my absence.

It pains me to accept there won't be more opportunities in which the three of you, troublemakers, will make me laugh (and sometimes fume) with your insane ideas. Ilva cannot join my words, but she does in her heart for I certainly know she was happy training, learning, playing, eating, sharing, laughing, dreaming, and especially fighting side by side with both of you.

You, undeniably, were two great men who defended us not only with your strength and skills, but also vesting your souls into it. There are no words to describe the immense gratitude I feel towards the two of you for bringing her home; you gave it all and I'll never forget it.

I promise I'll always remember and honor the cause for which you and my sister sacrificed your hearts: our freedom.

For now, I just hope we may see each other one day.

Farewell, boys.

Elia

.

The fact that she used block letters, with a tendency to italicization and a slight lean to the right drew his attention; it wasn't as diminutive as Petra's or too large and cluttered like Hange's, but somehow it suited her.

Levi didn't dare to read the note on his way back to the barracks, but now in his room he did, just to see if Erwin could include it in his speech, though given the personal nature of the message, he chose to just do what she asked. He folded it and placed it in the upfront pocket of the military coat he'd wear that night. And since the ceremony was still two hours away, he left his smoothed-out clothes onto the bed before going to eat something.

Once ready, he headed for Erwin's office, only not to be forced to wait outside with all the crowds that'd be there, both military and civilian; socializing was never his strong suit, much less in that grim situation.

"I didn't think you were going to attend" commented the blond while allowing his comrade inside. His voice was steady and calm however the eyes showed the real fatigue underneath. He checked his watch and saw they had a couple minutes left.

Ever since Commander Pixis' visit that morning, his thoughts gave him no break, but he would share the news with Hange and Levi after giving an honorable farewell to most of the fallen soldiers, along with the civilians found.

Levi watched him enquiringly. He suspected his friend was up to something, but his own spirits were not at their best to dig into whatever he had in mind and probably planned. Instead, he just sat in the usual chair and waited for the Commander to finish tidying up his uniform while using his own reflection in the window behind his desk.

"Maybe I'll stay here" Levi absently muttered while he played with his dagger on the desk, his eyes fixed on the blade "Maybe not".

He always tried keeping some distance between himself and his subordinates or anyone really, just for tomorrow's uncertainty but that didn't mean he didn't care. Just like now with the Möser; potential new members and very good soldiers. Their bodies would be cremated on that evening, leaving nothing but ashes in their place; his blood boiled just to remember that, increasing his desire to go outside to kill more titans, perhaps that'd ease his anger down. Not even she made it, he thought, bitterly.

The girl was still alive but barely; her lifer hanged by a thread, and he couldn't comprehend why everything was so easily extinguished, why everything and everyone was so fragile, unlike him. And now it was too late because there was nothing left to do but wait. It wasn't pleasant to realize the stubborn doctor's reluctance to let her go was the hope to study her case closely, only for research purposes, since she'd most likely die within days. The rage Levi felt when he understood the real motive behind was so overwhelming that, the instant he looked back at the man, he could certainly tell he terrified him. That was what drove him to accept at the end: fear. Nonetheless, the frustrated idiot tried to provoke the elder sister right before leaving; had she punched him or anything similar, he'd have revoked the permit, but the woman seemed clever enough to restrain herself.

Even though he was very young, he didn't regret staying beside his dying mother until it happened, it was all he could do when having no clue on what to do but just be there for her. That's why he wanted to help the girl, unconscious or not; it wasn't fair to die in solitude when you had someone in the world who cared about you, and the way that woman was holding her that night proved it. That, and the distress in those deep grey eyes.

He grabbed the weapon's handle tightly and hurled it to the wall, as if throwing all these thoughts to an abyss. And Erwin, who learnt to know Levi well in the years working together, realized his mood was darker than usual, so he chose to remain silent about it.

"We better go down, Levi. It's time" he announced after piling some documents in the corner of his desk and leaving others inside the first drawer.

Erwin looked at his friend, who was standing right in front of where the dagger was sticked, looking at it without seeing it really. He approached to his friend and placed his left hand on the shoulder, trying to lend him some of his energy in order to deal with what was coming and the Captain truly hated.

The man blinked several times before coming back down to earth. Erwin was already wearing his coat and near the door. So, he hurried on retrieving the object and put it back inside his boot, always ready.

As they walked towards the central courtyard, both noticed the building halls were completely deserted. A place where many of the voices from the mutilated, crushed, and devoured ones would never come back. And whether people believed it or not, even after years of living this way, threatened by the same enemy, you never got used to keep saying goodbye.

Once outside, both immediately caught sight of the torches illuminating the place and the faces of their comrades, friends and families gathered around the pyres, right in the center, to where they were heading as higher-ranked soldiers, which really bothered Levi. Though he just decided to ignore the people around to pay his respects and walk away right after everything was over.

The words of the soldier whom Petra tried to save before they got the news about the breach reverberated in his mind now, as he observed the many piles of corpses covered with their respective division's flags. Except the civilians, covered with a black sheet.

He couldn't deny it was a bit odd to see that, for the very first time since he joined the militia, the minority of casualties belonged to the Corps. That soldier's remains, along with the Mösers' and a few other members were right there. It'll never be in vain, he promised, and also wondered how many were weeping for them. Levi wasn't sure how to feel about the fact that, unlike most people, he didn't have much to lose because he didn't have anyone who'd miss him or mourn him when his time came. People would probably miss his extraordinary killing skills, but not him, not really. Those fools would do, he corrected himself mentally, thinking about Erwin, Hange and those four under his command. However, aside them, he knew he had no place of his own in the world. Ever since Furlan and Isabel died, he dedicated his life to the cause but nothing else. Perhaps it was for the best or maybe he was just a coward, but at that precise moment, it only magnified the emptiness inside.

He lost the thread of his thoughts when he saw Erwin taking Commander Pixis' place and stood firmly with his hands behind his back. Right then, an unusual, even stronger determination, took over his expression and so the man began to speak, solemnly.

"Today is a day of great loss. A dark day in which we understand there's no way to bring back those we have recently lost, soldiers and civilians. Even so, I'd like to say that no matter who stands in our way, I assure you that none of your deaths will be in vain. Especially now that unlike previous battles, this time we had the support of a titan to seal the wall. That moment set a precedence in our history; otherwise, Trost would have been as lost as Shiganshina" he took a couple seconds to continue, but stared intently at the crowds "Its true there's no clarity or information on the matter yet, but this achievement gives us the hope many generations never came to feel, one we cannot let go or waste away" a second later, he turned his face to the pyres "We got here thanks to you, the ones who sacrificed your lives and hearts to save others. Because of you, the sun will rise again for us tomorrow. And to honor you and our freedom, we will continue this fight... Rest forever in peace, brothers, and sisters".

Having said that, the Commander performed the characteristic salutation, clenching his right hand into an upside fist over his heart while placing the other behind his lower back, and so the rest of the military imitate the gesture as a sign of respect, Levi included. The civilians present just bowed their heads and closed their eyes for a minute.

When it was over, the two Commanders and other lower rank officers approached the main bonfire to grab the torches and move closer to the pyres, which was the ritual's hardest part. As soon as it was his turn alongside the other Captains there, a stoic Levi did the same, but a pent-up anger grew inside, reminding him of the never-ending frustration for days like this. The letter, he thought on good timing. He took it out of his pocket and, before setting fire to the wood, he discreetly left it under the Survey Corps flag. The soldier went back to his place and stood still as he watched them burn, without losing sight of the place where he hid the object, nor looking away until everything was consumed. Unexpectedly, recalling some of the words in that piece of paper helped him calm the suffocating rage eating him away.

"I'll see you later" said Levi to his friend. Most of the civilians had left, the soldiers present dispersed, and Erwin was watching Pyxis furtively while he offered his condolences to Ian Dietrich and Mitabi Jarnach's families.

The blond nodded once and went straight to that group to show his respect as well. That was his cue to turn around and walked away in silence, still feeling the weight of the ceremony on him.

While in his room, he drank some tea and tried relaxing, but he was still restless; neither his favorite chair nor the bed helped him sleep.

I promise I'll always remember and honor the cause for which you and my sister sacrificed your hearts…

There again were those words echoing in his mind, and strange as it was, the owner's voice saying them. Levi closed his eyes for a moment and all he could see now were images of the flames and that crackling sound behind.

He came to the realization that this was the first time he knew of someone outside the militia who understood the importance of what they tried to accomplish, and all the lives invested for years. Someone who currently faced the difficult situation of taking care her loved one well aware there was no going back. The woman was brave in a different way than her younger sister, for whom he felt somewhat responsible. And although Levi didn't regret his decision to make her stay, he promised himself he wouldn't abandon them as long as he could be of any help.

He got up from his cot and, without even changing to civilian clothes, he left the compound. The Captain wandered for a few minutes aimlessly, but then made his mind.

When he saw her opening the door and gaze at him, right in front, those grey eyes showed great surprise to see him there. However, it was just that; fear, nervousness or reticence were nowhere to be seen inside them. Well, this is new, he thought to himself, barely amused given his low spirits.

"Is it too late?" he asked, giving her the option to send him away.

Everyone knew Captain Levi was as unpredictable as the weather, or so Ilva used to say sometimes. That's why she never imagined that visit. Not in a million years. He took her by surprise, but soon after the first impression, she relaxed. No matter how discouraging her sister's state was; bringing her home was a huge relief, even if it was only to die by her side. An opportunity he had given to them.

"Is it too late?" Elia heard "If I'm disturbing you, you're free to let me know. I just came to check on your sister's condition".

"Don't worry, sir" she assured as she stepped aside to let him go inside.

This was fourth or fifth time she had seen the man, and from the way he dressed, she could tell where he came from; the smell of smoke coming from his jacket confirmed it. The same smoke she glimpsed in the distance around two hours ago.

Surely, he feels as depressed as everyone else in the city, or so she thought when looking into those blue-steel eyes, the ones that seemed hard and distant, but all Elia could see there now was only helplessness and an enormous loneliness.

When she closed the door, Captain Levi stood near the entrance, his hands in his pockets.

"Wait a minute, please. I'll be right back" she said and gestured he may choose whatever seat he wanted. And before entering her bedroom to check on Ilva, she noticed he sat down at the table in front of the largest window, the one that used to be a shop window days ago.

The Captain on the other hand began to pay more attention to his surroundings; the only thing he had to check that very morning was if the cleaning was decent, which to his surprise, excelled his expectations. But now he noticed despite the place wasn't that big, it looked spacious, which might have to do with the fact they didn't possess excessive furnishings nor decoration around, and that was nice.

Seconds later, he heard her steps approaching and turned. The woman was carrying two glasses of water and left one in front of him before taking a seat on the other side of the table.

"I'm afraid my sister is the same" she was holding her glass between her hands, concentrated in it for a brief moment "I ran some tests to see if there was any reaction to the smell of some energizing herbs, but nothing happened. Nonetheless, I daresay sometimes it seems like she's dreaming, by the movement under her eyelids, I mean".

"I see" commented Levi, looking towards the room where the girl was "Other than the rubbish from this morning, what else did the doctor say?"

"That she fell into such lethargy that she doesn't even feel pain, which at least is an advantage" she replied with a certain irony, thinking about the multiple wounds in her body "The complicate part is the precondition in her brain, which was going fine because she seemed to improve during her sick leave, but I suppose the stress from battle and the shock triggered something inside and she got into this sort of sleeping state as a defense mechanism" she explained, thoughtful and letting out a discourage sigh "Nobody knows for sure how long a human could hold on like this, but we agree on the fact that you can go on for a certain amount of time without water and food. That's why I'm trying at least to have her hydrated; it may be unorthodox, but it helps a little. Still, is not enough and she'll last for a short, limited time".

Levi knew a weak and malnourished organism wouldn't last long. He knew that from his own experience, though his case had been different.

"She may live for a couple of days, one week or two at most" she said, more to herself.

Levi looked back down at his own glass; he knew all that, but it still affected him. Being that the case, he could only imagine what was like for the woman there, who could not even help her as a healer. He looked up, no clue what to do or say but that didn't mean he had no desire to give her some comfort, so instead he just focused on her face, or to be precise, those eyes. The eyes are the mirror to the soul, honey... he may have been young when he lost her, but that voice was one of the most valuable memories he kept from his mother. She had said those words, when she tried to teach him how to deal with people outside the tiny space where they lived, all those years ago. And now, looking at those grey ones, he comprehended her soul was in tatters, but she wouldn't give up. Not yet, that's what they told him.

Actually, this whole situation strongly reminded him of those days when he saw his mother's life slipping away. Somehow, it'd have been nice to have someone by his side the moment he realized she was gone; this was the driving base for the idea that was taking form in his head. Especially understanding that this person would trade her own life for her sister's; she'd do it without hesitation, and that was rare. Many people could claim so, but it's easier said than done.

"You should rest a couple hours. I'll watch out for the soldier in the meantime" Levi suggested. He could help her at least with that.

Fortunately, Elia hadn't been drinking water at the time, otherwise she'd have choked, completely taken off guard. She suspected the man wasn't the kind of person who wanted a special treatment but for her, after listening to Ilva's chattering about how skilled, lethal, and pretty much invincible he was, that was a bit hard to do. I wish you could see this, sis, she said to the girl in her heart, quite conscious of how bittersweet was to have access to this facet of him instead of her.

"It's easy to see why my sister admires and respects you so much" she dared telling him, trying to express her own gratitude for everything he'd already done, but the effect those words had weren't the right ones. The man looked uncomfortable.

"Pshht!" was all Levi replied with sarcasm while watching the sincerity in her expression and then he looked away.

Elia knew it was better not to insist or ask why all the help. Ilva never mentioned having an actual conversation with him, except for that one time during a mission in which the Captain said to her "well done, private", right after seeing her perform a particularly difficult maneuver in the middle of flatlands, against a nine-meter abnormal titan. The creature was hard to kill because it kept pulling out the hooks, preventing the soldiers from reaching his neck. But with the help of her two friends and a regular tree, Ilva managed to push herself upright and surpassed the enemy's height, falling over it heavily to eventually slice right where the weak point was. A smaller titan was approaching, and so the girl shot her hooks to the abnormal's shoulder and led the creature to fall onto the other one, immobilizing it to immediately eliminate it.

She never grew tired of talking about that one interaction and the praise she got from humanity's strongest soldier.

"We appreciate your offer but we're fine, sir" she cordially said, returning to the present.

"If you say so" he replied, with seriousness "I won't keep you away any longer then".

Levi rose from his seat, knowing she was lying, either because the woman didn't trust him or was the kind of people who felt uneasy asking for help; both reasons seemed valid to him, so he had nothing else to do there.

The instant she followed him towards the door, both heard a noise coming from the room where the girl was. He saw her heading there in a hurry though in absolute calm and, without realizing it, he silently followed. When he entered, the girl looked the same and onto the bed that was on the opposite wall to the entrance; the other one was as intact as hours before.

On top of the nightstand, located near both headboards and in between them, there was a thin fallen vase, and its contents were now on the floor. Apparently, the breeze that slipped through the window had pushed it, along with the little flowers and water inside it, which accentuated the subtle scent he perceived around.

"What's that?" the soldier let out. The smell was nice.

"It's lavender" she replied, showing him a few sprigs with small flowers, their color range went from pale lilac to deep royal purple "It's very useful in closed environments. The essence helps to stimulate the body's immune system".

He just nodded, observing how quickly she cleaned everything and placed the vase over the same surface but away from the windows' opening.

"I'll wash my hands and be right back" she said while passing next to him.

She came back carrying two glasses of water. The first one she poured it inside the vase, but then he saw the woman grabbing some cotton and gloves from the shelf at the end of the room. She put on the gloves and placed the cotton inside the other glass and began to gently open the girl's mouth, just a little, and poured some water drops there, squeezing very slowly while assisting her. She repeated the action several times, with extreme care and before the last one, she slid the soft and wet material over the girl's lips, noticing how chapped they were starting to get; after just three days. Even her complexion was slightly paler, regardless of being covered up to her neck.

"Most of the time, it's hard to believe she's the one like this" her voice pulled him out of his thoughts. She was now caressing her sister's forehead very gently. She checked the time in a watch pocket she had in her pocket and then took out of nightstand a small notebook and began to write something there.

"I believe I understand what you mean" said Levi, now focused on the soldier's rhythm of breathing, which was slow but steady.

It was at that moment that Elia realized he was genuinely concerned. And when he offered his help before, he'd done sincerely; no one asked him, no one imposed it on him. She felt bad for denying what he wanted to do to help his sister, especially for how happy Ilva would have been for such kindness; of course, once overcoming the embarrassment. I'm pretty sure you didn't go unnoticed, little one, she spoke to the girl in her heart once again.

"I'll wait outside" he said, and so he walked out and sat down exactly where he was before and drank the glass of water that was still there.

He looked through the window's curtain without seeing anything really, just immersed in his thoughts while staring to the darkness outside. He turned the instant he sensed her presence nearby, and deduced she was going to apologize and probably say goodnight. He'd leave for sure, but something inside pushed him to stand up and inform her about the bad call he'd done. The woman could hate him if that made her less miserable. He deserved it.

"Damn, this shouldn't have happened!" he confessed, tense, his hands behind his back, prepared to face her accusatory expression "She shouldn't be like this! Your sister was on leave for her own safety; she shouldn't even have had access to her gear" Elia wasn't afraid of him, but she wasn't oblivious to how frighteningly angry Captain Levi looked. Though he quickly went from that to helplessness "I don't need your forgiveness or anything. I just want to accept responsibility for my failures by letting you know of it".

"Why do you say that?" she inquired, confused. Ilva's squad, family and the Möser were the only ones aware of it. But if he knows, then...

"I gave the order" Levi blurted out, forcing himself to do so while facing her. A strange kind of fear crept inside him at the idea of those eyes truly believing him guilty. The man was honest when he stated he wasn't asking anything from the only family the girl had left, but he couldn't deny that fear.

Elia was shocked. Her little sister's hero, the one she dreamt to follow and to make proud… He was the one who forbade her to go with them and so tried to protect her, even from herself. And he felt guilty, responsible for her state. It was clear in the way he decided to face her while offering an implicit apology. He may have said he didn't need it, or wanted it, and perhaps that was true, but she considered it so unfair. No one could have imagined the disaster that laid ahead within the walls.

"Sir, believe me when I tell you that nothing could have stopped her" she assured him, and the sad little smile on her face reinforced her sincerity "My sister has always been like a force of nature. And a very stubborn one".

"But had she gone with us..." he insisted, and Elia interrupted him, shaking her head twice.

"It may have ended the same or worse. Luther and his brother wouldn't have been here if they hadn't been haughty to the Registry Officer, but they did. Therefore, there's no way to know if they'd still be alive had they been with the rest of the Corps" she explained "I may be also quite responsible for not noticing when Ilva lied to me and headed to the barracks, but she ran as soon as she saw something happening. Or even when I saw her for the last time" she added, her grey eyes filled with sadness "But she always wanted to help and fight; and although I could have forced her, it wasn't my decision or my right to do it. She emphasized that to the three of us the same day she informed she'd enlisted in the Survey Corps".

Bewildered, he opened his eyes wide. At first, it was difficult to understand why she didn't have a grudge, or the fact she didn't hold him responsible for what happened. But she was saying this was nobody's fault, and despite the horrible outcome, everything came from a choice that was freely taken by her own sister, the other two kids…No one was right. Or wrong. This was cause and effect, decisions, and results, which most of the time weren't the desired ones.

"If everything remains the same tomorrow and you haven't changed your mind, I accept your help, sir" she was still standing, a couple meters away from him. Somehow, even the tone of her voice changed a little after his confession, sounding much less reserved.

"9 PM or so" Levi replied and respectfully nodded once. Without saying more, he left.

After closing the door, Elia had no way to know if she succeeded to ease the weight he carried, but she did notice how grateful he sounded with those last words.

He, on the other hand, put on the hood and began to walk back to the quarters, still reverberating about what the woman said. Somehow, that humanity of hers also took away part of the remorse of years ago, about another false move he'd made, the one he forced himself never to think about. But now, according to her, his friends also willingly decided to go and trust he'd accomplish the hidden mission they had. And this helped him understand that Furlan and Isabel would have hardly blamed him for the outcome.

He still remembered well the night before their first expedition, where he forbade them to go and both resisted the idea, accusing him of not believing in their own capacities. And by the time the two idiots reminded him, they were a team, he'd changed his mind already. Of course, things went terribly wrong, yet the soldier's older sibling was right: everyone has the right to choose, and assuming the consequences is also part of it.

With each step he took, Levi felt a little lighter and at the same time, more determined to fulfill his promise and give meaning to their deaths. Theirs and all the ones committed to the cause, especially the fallen and most affected.

"It's a bit late to wander around, don't you think?" he was walking through the middle of the common room when he heard a familiar voice.

Levi turned in that direction and saw his friend sitting on one of the two armchairs near the fireplace. He walked his way there and took a seat on the other.

"Did no one ever tell you that walking helps to clear up your mind?" he replied as he crossed his legs and arms. Whatever he did in his spare time was his own business.

The Commander looked at him and snorted, slightly amused, knowing Levi would never talk if he didn't feel like it. The man poured some wine in another glass and placed it on the table between them, right in front of the Captain.

"C'mon. Join me for a while. It's not that great to drink on your own, plus you have a huge tolerance to alcohol, so you won't get drunk or anything" Levi raised an eyebrow, but then he remembered the funeral and just decided to go along with his friend.

"Have you got any news on when we'll be able to interrogate the brat ourselves?" the soldier said. There was an unusual excitement in Erwin's eyes that evening, and they had time to discuss it now.

"It's not definitive but we may be able to see him in two days" the Commander shared what Pixis said after the ceremony "As soon as he wakes up. I wonder though, best case scenario: the lad joins us, and we succeed in the trial later… Do you think it'd be a good idea to leave town and head to the old Corps Headquarters inside wall Rose?"

"Leaving town is necessary. It'd be troublesome to have him training here with all the jittering about him being a titan. And we certainly need to train him so he doesn't try to kill us like he did with the other cadet" Levi commented, then he made a face and looked both annoyed and disgusted "Although, I fear that place must be insanely filthy".

"It's our best choice for now" the blond took a moment to empty the content of his glass in a single round "The place is retired, spacious and it's officially under our jurisdiction, so it'd be helpful for Hange's experiments and also to keep him away from enemy's eyes".

"I'm sure there's something else by the way you try to hide a smile whenever you look at the bottle" he said, pointing at the object onto the table "Go on, spit it out".

"The idea was to talk to you and Hange, but she won't be here until tomorrow. She's overseeing an issue with the two titans we captured" Erwin sighed and decided to say something, or he'd go insane. This was too huge, and the wine made him a bit chatty, but he fully trusted Levi, so it'd be fine "Dot Pixis came to see me this morning..."

When Levi asked him where the object was, the Commander looked closely around before taking it out of his front pocket. He showed the silver key hanging inert from his hand, implying that decades of struggle and death could finally mean something. Maybe the end of this horror.

"I have the bothersome feeling that everything will get even more complicated" Levi stated, his eyes always prudent and watchful, and somewhat uneasy at the excitement in his friend's blue eyes. Hope, he could understand, but there was something else in them.

"I know you're capable of doing it, but that doesn't mean I cannot worry" she said as she sat onto Elia's bed, where she could perfectly observe the way Ilva's chest kept going up and down.

"I'm fine, Petra" her friend answered, who just finished checking the backpack she had brought back from the market around ten minutes ago "I just feel bad for asking you to do this. That thing was horribly heavy, you know".

Petra winked and smiled at her, self-sufficient, but ended up laughing at her friend's reprimanding expression.

"I train almost every day, Elia" she reminded her "I may be small and all that, but I can bear a weight like that easy-peasy. You, on the other hand, wouldn't have gone further than two blocks. Or maybe you would, but it'd have definitely taken you longer" she said mockingly, smirking at the fake offended look from the healer.

She looked at the clock on the wall. It was only seven minutes to eleven o'clock in the morning.

Suddenly, she saw her friend standing up and leaving the room without saying anything.

"You have no idea how much I appreciate you coming here, girl" she heard her say while walking over, carrying two plates and a glass of water for her.

"It's a pleasure" Petra said, right after receiving one of them and leaving the glass of water on the bedside table "But you shouldn't worry to feed me, Elia".

"It's the least I can do after making you run those errands for me" and so she sat right next to her on that bed "And don't exaggerate; it's just a sandwich. I couldn't let you go without something in your stomach before you show up at work" Of course, Elia wouldn't forget she had no breakfast and she also needed to leave in a little less than an hour "Besides, it's always nice to eat in good company" she added with a sad smile.

"I won't lie. It worries me to leave you alone until tomorrow night" Petra's face turned serious this time "If you continue like this, best case: you'll end up with huge bags under your eyes, just like my boss'. Which is not nice, you know? No, really. You might get sick too, Elia" she said before taking another bite. It was delicious!

The healer imitated her and at the same time turned her eyes toward her sister, as if evaluating something. When she stared back at her, her expression seemed lighter.

"I'll be fine, Petra" she reassured her "A friend of Ilva offered us his help. He suggested something similar to what you said this morning about sleeping a couple hours; he'll watch over her in the meantime".

"Really?" the redhead inquired, believing Elia was trying to trick her not to worry her "You're not making this up to throw me off, right?"

"I swear on my sister's life, it's true" OK. She was being honest. Her family was sacred to her.

"Then I'm glad" said Petra, then took another bite, and enjoy her snack quietly.

From her part, Elia simply thought it'd be disloyal to reveal it was Petra's very own chief the one who'd offered to lend them a hand. Specially because the man was so discreet, besides, he had no interest in anybody's opinion. Finally, she didn't wish to disappoint his confidence before even starting.

As soon as they finished, the healer took the dishes to the kitchen and spent those last minutes beside her friend. Petra's energy and easy smile was revitalizing.

"I don't even remember the last time I ate something this amazing" the redhead thanked, leaning over her shoulder and pretending to cry, out of joy. Just the way she used to when they were little. However, back then it was for real "You have no idea what we would trade to have people like you in the kitchens".

"Is it serriously that bad?" the healer asked. She was looking at the fragile body in front of her, recalling all the times her sister used to say that "Ilva said the same thing, mostly to Mom though".

"Well, yes. Besides, you have no idea how wonderful your food and your mother's is" she remarked, trying to cheer her up a little before leaving "You always shared half of your lunch with me at school. Just because my dad was horrible at it" She knew for certain that her friend remembered how hard it was for them when her own mother passed away "Actually, last time I checked, he's cooking hasn't improved at all" she pointed out, faking a horrified expression.

"It must have been difficult for him" Elia muttered, considering Mr. Ral's situation "Not many people think that men should know how to run a home. That's why it's harder when they end up facing situations like the one with your mother. But I can that tell your father did his best to honor her, Petra. And you" she emphasized "Sometimes the food might taste bad, but he tried, and you can also see the love and effort to raise you there".

"I know" she was happy to know how true that was, wondering what he was probably doing at that very moment; she hadn't seen him in a while "He may not have culinary skills, but I know he's a great man. It wasn't easy for him to accept my decision to join the military, even less the Survey Corps, but I hope he already resigned to that idea of me being a housewife and giving him tons of grandkids".

"Still with that?" Elia asked, a melancholic smile on her lips as she watched her friend nodding energetically and a bit upset "Perhaps you could write him a letter or something" she offered with optimism "Just make sure to tell him everything I see that makes you happy here. I don't think the titans' part is wise, but you can share with him your achievements, like mentioning you're a member of the deadliest squad ever. You could also say something about your life as a soldier, your own aspirations, or the people you work with. I cannot say it'll change his mind, but it's a way to make him see what's important for you".

"As always, you've given me an excellent idea" she playfully winked at her friend, a bit hopeful and grateful for the little push "Sometimes it bothers me to think he hasn't accept that I'm already twenty-eight and I know what I actually want to do with my life. How did you take it when Ilva shared her decision?"

"Well, I can't deny it wasn't easy. Your work is basically gambling against fate; you never know if you'll come back in one piece and that scares anyone" the dark-haired woman explained in honesty "But our parents always urged us to think and choose after our own interests. For example, I knew from an early age that I liked the field of healing, inspired by what they did together. And the same thing happened with my sister. They asked her about the reasons for taking that path. Just like me, she had that in mind since very young, and so she told us that her goal was to fight for the defenseless, help with the extermination of the Titans' threat and finally, she said that what she wanted most, was to go beyond the walls to experience real freedom".

"That's the goal for some of us" That was the motivation behind their way to fight and sacrifice their hearts "I'm afraid I must leave you for now, my friend" she announced, looking angrily at the clock, as if the object was to blame for that. The redhead smiled with certain sadness "I've missed having a moment like this" she said and hugged the woman next to her, who dropped her head over hers for an instant.

"I've missed them too, Petra. You cannot imagine how wonderful has been to have you back".

"Same here. That's why you're going to have me here quite often" she announced, happily. Knowing that Elia understood the true meaning behind those words.

"And you'll always be welcome" her friend took her hand and gave her an affectionate squeeze, filled with gratitude.

I know is taking a while, but I really don't like to rush things.

Namárië