Disclaimer: Blah blah blah….. 'don't own anything…' …' All M.C.'s characters…. 'Plot ALL MINE! MUAHAHAHA'

Presenting chapter 2 of Lost in Shadows:

Is this a dream

If it is

Please don't wake me from this high

I'd become comfortably numb

Until you opened up my eyes

To what it's like

When everything's right

I can't believe

You found me

When no one else was looking

How did you know just where I would be

Yeah, you broke through all of my confusion

The ups and the downs

And you still didn't leave

I guess that you saw what nobody could see

You found me

You found me

-Kelly Clarkson, Breakaway

I woke up in my bed, cold and sweaty from the dream.

I knew that it wasn't just a dream; it was an actual memory, a clue to my past. I sighed and forgot about it for the moment.

I quickly dressed in my normal clothes; long brown robes tied at the waist with a length of simple brown rope, tying my hair back in a messy ponytail, wishing I were allowed to leave it down.

I paused for a moment in front of the small mirror. A tall girl of 16 years looked back, her eyes creasing. My hair, brown and rather boring I thought looked lank.

I made a mental note to wash it with some herbs, then thought, what's the point, no one would care or notice whether I do or not.

I went down to breakfast, in a special chamber of the monastery.

Yes, I live in Milertyrne Monastery, otherwise known as the Temple of Tyrne. The monks had told me that they would try and find a suitable convent for me.

They had been telling me that for the past 6 years.

Personally, I don't see the problem of remaining here. I mean, better here then some strange new place. Unfortunately, they do fins a problem with me here...

You see, I'm the only girl here. Monks are supposed to live a life of solitude (well, figuratively, since there are tons of monks living together here, under the same roof)

They aren't supposed to be in the presence of a woman.

That's why during my entire time here, I've only interacted with four monks.

Sure, I see tons of them walking through the hallways, but they always keep their head down, and I never say anything to them.

It's almost as if they are afraid of me, and I can't see the reason why.

I have never done anything crazy, or wild; my composure is always calm, cool and collected. Well, that's if I ever speak.

Lately I've been wondering if your voice can stop working from lack of use.

I take my breakfast with Brother Simon; the chamber is empty, like it always is when I come down for breakfast. The monks wake up at sunrise for their breakfast.

Brother Simon is still a novice.

There are different levels here, for their training, and even though he is almost forty-ish, (I've never asked, it just seems kind of rude, and the monks and I never talk much unless we have to) he is still not promoted to becoming a full member of the monastery.

He sits down with me, dressed in the black robes and black belt that everyone but me wears, of course.

'Good morning, Susannah'

'Good morning, Father Simon.'

I sit down and eat in silence, while he stares off into the distance.

I'm used to it. I'm beginning to think that I will never laugh again, joke, and run free and wild.

I sigh and the rest of the day passes slowly, the same monotonous routine day after day.

Weeks pass.

The only respite I have during the day is after I complete my lessons, when I'm allowed to go free and explore the area around the monastery.

Not very far, of course.

Just till the very outer gate. I have never, in six years, seen the outside world.

Sometimes, I think that we have been forgotten by the enter universe, and no other existence exists except silent muttering men walking and praying, and wandering empty rooms and plain, plain hallways.

One day, I walked out of my classroom, thinking about my lessons.

The only that I took any interest in was healing.

For some strange reason, it fascinated me; for once, feeling in control of someone's life, making the decision if I could heal the wounds of his mind, soul and body, could save him or not.

It was the only thing I paid attention to; the only point of my day I didn't feel transparent.

I began to grow thin, and slowly, the memories of my childhood came back slowly to me, first in my subconscious mind, then during the day.

I remembered a large castle made entirely out of black stone, where I had stayed till I grew older. I probed my memories, trying to remember my heritage.

I came to the conclusion that they had drugged me at the castle, and my memory was leaving me.

I knew that I hadn't really hated it at the castle, but hadn't liked it either.

I know that I spent a lot of time with a boy. What was his name? Paul.

Paul.

I hadn't thought about him in a long, long time.

I know he used to be my playmate…

Every passing day in the monastery, I spent my free time trying to access my memories, locked up in some deep part of me.

I remembered that Paul and I had spent days in the woods near the castle. We had walked, ran, picked berries, played crazy games that ended in both of us laughing hysterically.

Hey, we were just kids.

The last time I had seen him was two years after I had come to the monastery. He had come to visit me.

'Suze.' He always used to call me that. It felt so strange when anyone but him called me that.

But no one else did. Only Paul had that way of saying my name.

'Paul? What are you doing here?'

'Forgotten me already?' He smiled that crooked smile of his, which was so roguish and charming at the same time.

We had talked a bit more, but it was awkward. We had both changed in the two years of separation.

I had begged him to take me back, begged him to tell me why I was made to live here, away from the word.

He looked at me sorrowfully, but all he would say is that

'One day, Suze. One day you'll understand. I – I'm sorry.'

I was furious at him for a while, but as days passed into weeks, into moths and eventually years, I just forgot about him.

Today I remembered him.

It was a cloudy morning, this morning, but it's sunny now.

I sat down in the nearest pew to the back of the church.

My day passed, just like every other one.

After dinner, Brother Simon came to sit with me, something he rarely does.

'Susannah. Elder Devon wants to meet you in his study after you finish.' He said, in his soft whispery voice.

I nodded.

For once I felt some excitement. What could it be? Maybe I was finally being removed from here!

My heart leaped in sudden joy as I envisioned freedom.

I didn't care where they would send me. Anywhere was alright, anywhere away from here.

I stood in front of the huge oaken doors, and then knocking thrice, as was the custom, I entered the room.

It was bare except for a bookcase which was almost full, and table with the…Head Monk, I guess you could call him.

Another man sat in front of the table his back to me.

'Susannah' Elder Devon said, acknowledging my presence. He was an old, old man, but he barely spoke, only at prayers.

At once, the other mystery man stood up and turned.

I gasped.

Those eyes. How could I have forgotten? Memories rushed back, bringing back new emotions; hurt, longing, anger, suspicion, relief…

Paul stood in front of me, apparently just as dumbstruck as I.

He had changed, from the scrawny boy I remembered.

He stood tall, much taller then me; his shoulders had broadened, and his face looked older, tougher. His face was carved like a god's face, the strong curve of his jaw accentuating his masculinity…

He looked amazing.

I noticed that his eyes were the same, bright, electric blue that pierced your very soul…

I tried to compose my self, and saw that Paul was trying to speak as well.

'Suze.' Oh that voice…

'You've…er…grown' he managed to choke out.

'So have you.'

"Err…well...I'll leave you two alone for a bit then, shall I,' Elder Devon said uncomfortably.

He left leaving us with each other.

He motioned me to sit, and only after I had did he sit too.

'So…how have you been?' He inquired softly after a pause.

I smiled bitterly. Did he really want to know how I had been wasting away? Don't think so.

'What do you think?' I asked bitterly, not expecting an answer.

'Well...I expected you to be well. Are you not happy?' He honestly didn't know.

I looked out the window, overcome with emotion.

'Do you know how hard it's been? Living every single day in the middle of a crowd yet feeling alone? Not having anyone to talk to? Living everyday the exact same, never expecting to hear a laugh?' My voice broke, and I stared determinedly out the window.

I would not cry. I WON"T cry, I willed myself.

I really had gone beyond caring now. The old me, or what I could remember of her, would have never opened her emotions so freely with someone who is practically a stranger.

Paul remained silent, digesting my words.

'Suze. I'm so….I had no idea. If you can forgive me for the moment, please. There is something I want to ask of you.'

He was sorry – but I could hear the suppressed excitement in his voice. He something big to tell me.

'Well…do remember Ryborogh Stronghold? The castle that we...lived in, before…you moved here?' Paul seemed to be choosing his words very carefully, as though he didn't to offend me.

I nodded.

'Well…the Master,' here he hesitated slightly, and a look of something flashed over his face. 'He wants to meet you. Tomorrow night. At the Annual Autumn Ball. And...Well, I want you to go with me. Will you go?'

He said this in a rush, as though he wanted to get the words out and over with.

I thought about it.

Hell YEAH

'Also…he wants you to stay at the castle from now on. He said he wants to get to know you better. And...' he lowered his voice.' so do I Suze. I think it's time we got to know each other.' He smiled 'The Master said that he was sure that you would ask lots of questions for him. He has promised to answer them all.'

He took a breath 'So…what do you say?'

I looked at him, my eyes shining with tears of gratitude.

Then I grinned. 'Of course I'm coming! What do you think! When did you say we are going?'

He laughed and put his hands on my shoulders 'Calm down Suze. I'll pick you up tomorrow, and you can get dressed at the castle. You might want to pack your bags, too, and say goodbye to your…friends. See you tomorrow. '

He pecked my cheek, and then headed towards the door.

'Wait,' I called out.

'Why…why are you doing this Paul?' I asked.

I couldn't help being a little suspicious; I mean they desert me for six years, then all of a sudden the members of the Ryoborogh Castle want me to live with them?

It didn't make any sense.

But I trusted Paul. After all, he was all I had.

I was just wondering what his answer would be.

He had turned and was staring at me in a way I couldn't understand.

'Suze…there is a lot going on here that you don't understand. I would hate for you to get hurt. I just want what's best for you, ok? I know this is all just really confusing and sudden for you, but just trust me. Please.'

And I knew, then, that I did.

Trust him, I mean.

He left, and I sunk into the wooden chair, in a state of bliss.

My real life was finally beginning,

Thanks to me five reviewers! I hope this chapter wasn't too short, but it took ageeesss to write it….hehe.

Please, I really need feedback on this chapter especially… I have no clue how it was, so don't forget to press that little button just an inch away…