Chapter 9: Instability

"Hello, Li Xiao Lang."

Syaoran looked at the boy facing him. He was slightly taller than Syaoran and judging by his slightly deepening voice also older too. Two other kids stood behind him looking at Syaoran with similar disdain, and Syaoran surmised he was the leader among them. Some other trainees were also looking at them with interest, which told him the kid must also be well-known amongst them. Syaoran didn't really care about all that though. What he did care about was that they were blocking his way to his training court.

"Would you kindly move out of the way?" Syaoran asked calmly.

The kid chuckled in response. "Always in a rush, aren't you? I haven't even introduced myself." He bowed mockingly at Syaoran. "My name's Su Bao." He grinned wolfishly at Syaoran. "It's pleasure to finally meet you, Li Xiao Lang."

"Likewise. Now if you don't mind, I have somewhere to be." Syaoran moved forward to pass, but the three immediately reacted and tightened their blockade. Su Bao took a step forward, bringing himself closer to Syaoran.

"Of course you do. Off to your little private training ground, right?" He wasn't smiling now and when he spoke again there was malice in his voice. "You know, I've been watching you for a long time since now ever since you first started coming here. The prodigal boy always trained differently from us commoners. You never bat an eye towards us, and why would you? We're all nothing compared to you, right?" His tone was dangerously hostile now and the air between them became even tenser. Some of the trainees were holding their breath in anticipation.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Syaoran replied calmly. He didn't want to raise his tone lest he escalate the situation." I've never once thought anything like that. We're all just studying magic the best we can." It was the truth. He had never considered himself superior to them, but one look at Su Bao told him the boy wan't interested in his reasoning.

Su Bao laughed sarcastically. "Sure, we're all the same. That's why you were trained differently than us. You, the Elders' golden boy, the one they sent on their special mission." He took another step forward. Now they were face-to-face, and Syaoran could see the burning hate in his eyes. "How'd that go, anyways? I heard you failed miserably. Makes sense since they're drilling you hard right now."

"That doesn't concern you." Syaoran replied bluntly.

"Oh, is that so?" Su Bao hands clenched into a fist and his whole body trembled with rage. Syaoran tensed up, ready to react at the first sign of attack.

"Su Bao, get over here! We're going to begin training!" Syaoran looked to the source of the voice. An instructor was calling for him. The trainees watching them had dispersed and were doing warm-ups. Su Bao glared at the instructor and uttered a curse under his breath before turning his attention back to Syaoran.

"You got lucky, golden boy. That won't happen the next time." He vengefully vowed. Su Bao motioned towards his lackeys to follow and moved towards the training court. As he passed Syaoran, he forcefully bumped into his shoulder. "I'll knock you off your high horse soon enough." he added finally. The other two nodded in agreement and glared daggers at Syaoran as they left.

'Whatever. I have more important things to worry about.' He decided, but as he walked towards his training ground, he pondered what Su Bao had said about watching him since he first started training. The other trainees had seemed to show interest as well, which was surprising to him. Then again, he had never paid much attention to the other Clan trainees. For a moment he considered whether or not he thought himself better than them but dismissed it immediately. He had only always watched them training together from afar. Meanwhile, he was trained privately with his instructors. So it was more indifference towards them rather than arrogance, although to be fair he was aware of how interchangeable both can be.

"Get over here now, child! I don't have all day."

The commanding shout of his instructor snapped him back to the world. Fang Zhi was waiting at the center of the court impatiently. Syaoran quickened his pace and hurried to meet him.

"You're late."

Syaoran bowed his head. "I apologize, Teacher. I was held up briefly."

Fang Zhi dismissed him with a wave. "Your excuses are no concern of mine, only your training."

"Yes, of course."

Fang Zhi grunted in response. "Get ready. We've wasted too much time as it is."

Syaoran immediately got himself ready and summoned his sword from his pendant. Feeling the familiar weight in his hands, he did a few swings and thrusts. While he warmed up, he glanced at the trainees' court opposite of his who were also in the middle of warming up. They had been divided into several lines and were following their instructors' movements. It was a familiar sight, yet now he was looking from a different perspective. Watching them highlighted how differently he was treated from them up to now. It was only natural that they would make their own assumptions of him, which led him to a question; one that he never thought of asking.

'Why?'

The word felt novel and unfamiliar in his mind. For years now, he had always performed his duties to the Clan whether it was learning magic or martial arts and not once as he ever questioned them. It was simply what the Clan demanded and each time he had always obeyed their commands and did what they asked of him until…

Until he failed to retrieve the Clow Cards.

This brought another question to his mind. Of all the people they could've chosen, he was the one who was sent to retrieve the Cards directly by the Elders' request no less. While back then he had felt somewhat honored at their trust, he had mostly felt intense pressure to succeed. Not that it mattered in the end; his focus towards the mission took a backseat as something or rather someoneelse began to occupy his thoughts, though now he doubted he had the skills to complete the mission even without his feelings for Sakura distracting him. Syaoran began to recall how many times he had relied on her to capture the loose Cards, how drained he had felt each time he used his Cards and his immense frustration at his lack of success. This was the dark side of his time in Japan, one that he had never shared to anyone. He had thought he had put it behind him after so much had happened but the memories were now resurfacing, much to his discomfort.

"LI XIAO LANG!"

Fang Zhi's shout cut through his reverie. He turned his head to where the instructor was looking angrily at him, a familiar sight as of late. Syaoran immediately recomposed himself to avoid further reprimand.

"Do you expect your opponents to wait till you finish daydreaming?!"

"No, Teacher. Forgive me." Syaoran finished the last of his warm-ups and faced him with his battle stance.

"Apologies do not win battles." Fang Zhi remarked. The hard-faced man took position in front of Syaoran and clasped his palms together. Magic energy glowed between his hands and slowly his right hand moved away from the left. As he did, the right hand clasped the energy which took the shape of a handle. Fang Zhi pulled away further as a sword seemingly appeared out of the left palm. Releasing the sword fully, Fang Zhi entered his battle stance and pointed his blade at Syaoran.

"Get ready." he ordered.

"Yes, Teacher." Syaoran replied. Syaoran pushed down his lingering doubt. Right now, all that mattered was the present. He had failed and this was his punishment.

Fang Zhi made the first move and closed in on him. Syaoran reacted and did likewise a fraction of a second later. Both combatants met halfway and clashed their blades. The sound of metal colliding began to fill the court as both of them were attacking and blocking each other's swords, with Syaoran mostly doing the latter as Fang Zhi gradually increased his offense and slowly pushed him backwards. He did his best to keep the swings and thrusts at bay, each time feeling the power of the attacks reverberate from his sword to his wrists. It was slowly draining his stamina and he knew it was a matter of time before Fang Zhi broke through his defense. Syaoran followed his opponent's attacks, desperately trying to make an opening. He met a swing by Fang Zhi by his own and gave all his power to push the instructor's blade away, leaving his body open. Syaoran retracted his sword and pushed it forward into a thrust towards Fang Zhi's throat to force him to submission. However, Fang Zhi dodged and used the momentum from Syaoran's blow to spin and avoid his blade. Syaoran was unable to react as Fang Zhi swiftly spun around him and struck his back with an elbow. The sharp bone hit him on the muscle beside his shoulder blade and sent him reeling forward in pain. Sensing he was in danger, Syaoran used the momentum to propel himself forward and gain some distance. As he did, he took out his casting paper and readied to attack. Using his landing foot as a fulcrum, he spun his body around and faced Fang Zhi to cast his attack.

"God of Fire, answer my call!"

The second he cast the spell Syaoran immediately felt something was off. He could feel the energy flowing from him to the paper, but it was not coming as smoothly. It felt heavy, like something was resisting it's flow. He pushed with all his willpower against the resistance but was unprepared for what followed. Intense heat racked his insides as the magic inside him flurried uncontrollably. It felt as if the flames he was trying to unleash broke free inside him instead. Syaoran gathered all his willpower and made a final push. At last, he expelled the energy out in a stream of flame. Fang Zhi immediately readied his counter and ran his hand through his sword causing it to ignite in flames. With a powerful swing, he threw the flames towards Syaoran's own, creating an arc of fire. The arc immediately cut through Syaoran's flame like butter and headed straight for Syaoran. He quickly leapt to the side and barely managed to dodge it as the flame grazed the side of his face, burning a part of his right cheek. Distracted by the pain, Syaoran noticed too late that Fang Zhi had already closed the distance between them. Syaoran lifted his sword reflexively but Fang Zhi struck it before he could fully prepare. With a deft move the man disarmed Syaoran's sword and placed his own inches from Syaoran's neck, effectively ending the battle.

"Tsch." Fang Zhi spat out in disgust. He stared into Syaoran with contempt before removing his sword from the boy's neck. Syaoran let out his breath in a rush and rubbed his neck reflexively.

"Was that attack supposed to harm me? Even an amateur would have no problem countering that."

"Yes, Teacher. I must've made a mistake during casting my spell." Syaoran said. Despite that, he found it hard to believe his own words. From his stance to summoning the magic power, he felt he had done everything right. Something must've went wrong though if he had difficulty in bringing out his power. The unexpected resistance had reduced his spell's potency and he had only managed to put out a fraction of the power he intended.

"Simple mistakes like that are unbecoming of a proper mage. We'll take a short break. When we resume, I expect you to use your abilities properly."

"Yes, Teacher." Fang Zhi went away and sat down to meditate as he usually did on his rest. Syaoran let out a tired breath and turned to rest on his own when he saw them. The trainees having taken a break from their own training were watching him. Upon seeing him looking back, some of them hastily averted their gazes and pretended to converse each other but a few of them kept, including the three kids who had antagonized him earlier, kept looking at him. Su Bao and his lackeys in particular had a look of malicious enjoyment.

Looking at Su Bao highlighted an unexpected problem. Syaoran knew his actions had affected the Elders but he had never thought the effect he had upon those on the others like him. Being kept separate from them had allowed some of them to form their unfavorable image of him and his current position gave them the weakness needed for some of them to begin their attack. 'Let them come. I won't be a part of their game.' Syaoran thought bitterly. Whatever petty grudges they had against him were nothing compared to facing the punishment of the Elders. After all, they were trainees just like him.

Only he wasn't the same as them. From the way he was trained separately from the,, the line between them had been drawn clearly since the first day he was introduced to the magical arts. Again the questions returned to his mind. Where did he place amongst the Clan? Was he a trainee? An advanced learner? Or was it something else entirely? And where was his place now after his failure to capture the Clow Cards?

Before Syaoran could open that can of worms again, Fang Zhi called for him. "Come on, child! The time for rest is over!"

"Yes, Teacher!" he replied. Syaoran headed to the center of the court and both of them readied their weapons once more.

"No more mistakes, child. There is no place amongst the Li Clan for a fumbling mage."

That last sentence brought his earlier thoughts back to the surface. Syaoran inhaled sharply and suppressed the feeling, lest his teacher mistake his discomfort as defiance.

"Yes, Teacher. I'm ready." he said. With that, they clashed blades once more.

Syaoran entered his home wearily and shambled to his room. This was becoming a frequent occurrence as of late much to his dismay. He was tired of coming back from training with nothing to show for it but fatigue.

Well, this time he had returned with something. Syaoran felt the burn in his cheek where Fang Zhi's spell had grazed him. He hadn't gotten a chance to inspect it yet but from the way the wound felt in his touch and the waves of pain coming from contact with his fingers, it was pretty bad. 'I barely managed to dodge that. What happens if I'm not so lucky the next time? I might get a worse injury than this.' He shuddered at the thought. Explaining this one to his mother was going to be unpleasant.

"You're home, Xiao Lang."

Syaoran immediately straightened up in reaction. He turned to the source of the voice behind him and looked at his mother. She had a knack for appearing at exactly the right moment and many times Syaoran questioned whether or not it was coincidence. Knowing his mother, he wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't.

"Good evening, Mother."

Upon seeing him, Yelan grimaced slightly and her eyes narrowed on his right cheek, where the burn wound was. Despite the minimal change in her expression, Syaoran could tell she was startled. "You are injured." she spoke half in surprise and half in acknowledgement.

Syaoran lifted his hand up to cover the burn from sight. "Yes, I…made a slight mistake and got grazed by a fire spell. It's a small wound though, so it's nothing to worry about. It won't happen-"

"Enough." she said sharply. Syaoran complied and clamped his mouth shut. His mother looked troubled and he dared not say more lest he gets caught in her temperament.

To his surprise, she gently put her hand over the wound, cupping her palms as to make sure to not touch it directly. "Be still." Yelan ordered. She closed her eyes and concentrated. A light shone from inside her cupped hand and Syaoran felt magic flow to his wound, creating a tingling sensation as it made contact. The feeling gradually dissipated until all he felt was warmth. The light then faded and Yelan took her hand off his cheek and Syaoran slowly raised his own hand to touch it. Where the wound had been he now felt the usual softness of his skin.

"Don't ever make light of injuries, Xiao Lang. Your safety always comes first."

"Of course, Mother. I'll be sure to take care of myself." Syaoran rubbed his cheek where traces of her warmth and magic lingered. "Thank you."

Yelan nodded but her face didn't ease up. She turned and walked away without a word, leaving his son confused by her actions. He couldn't shake off the feeling that she was troubled and the feeling lingered even as he later joined his family at the dining room. Syaoran kept sneaking glances to his mother, looking for signs but as per usual Yelan did not show any outward sign of emotion, which made her after dinner announcement all the more shocking.

"I will be going away for sometime. There are Clan affairs that I must attend to."

The sudden news was met with surprise by him and his sisters. "When?" Shiefa asked.

"I'm going to take an early flight to Beijing tomorrow." The mention of Beijing alerted the children. They knew it was the Li Clan's central headquarters, so whatever she had to do must be important.

"How long will you be gone?" Syaoran asked.

"I do not know." she replied, which surprised her children again. Usually she would never give anything but a straight answer. "These affairs might take a while, but I'll try to sort them out as quickly as I can. In the meantime, Wei will watch over you five. Report any problems you have to him." Her face furrowed slightly. "All of you, please take care of yourselves and each other while I'm gone." She turned her head towards her son. "Especially you, Xiao Lang." she added lastly.

"Wait a minute. What are you going to do there?" Fuutie asked.

"I've told you already; to sort out Clan affairs."

"What kind of affairs?" Fuutie pressed.

"It's nothing for you to be concerned about."

Fuutie gritted her teeth. "I think we have a right to be concerned. You said it yourself; we're all in this together now. I don't see why you have to hold things back from us." Syaoran and the others tensed. Fuutie's voice was slowly escalating and the atmosphere around them was becoming unpleasant. They drifted their eyes to Yelan to see her reaction.

"There are things that you are still not ready for. Just know that whatever I do, I do it for our family. You'll have to trust me on that." Yelan spoke calmly yet firmly, which made her stance on the matter clear; she would not tell them anything.

Fuutie wasn't discouraged . Instead, she dove further into her emotions. Placing her hands on the desk, she stood up abruptly to showcase her defiance, startling her siblings. "How do you expect us to trust you if you don't' trust us enough to tell us anything? You expect us to be a part of this Clan when you never tell us anything about it?" Shiefa, who sat beside her, put her hands on her sister's shoulder to placate her. "Calm down, Fudie. This isn't doing anyone any good. Just let it go." she whispered desperately. The rest of them were cautiously watching Yelan, who stayed silent and locked eyes with her eldest with a calm yet powerful stare.

"If I don't tell you something, it is because it's something you don't need to worry about. Needlessly worrying about something you can't change will only make things worse."

"So the only solution is to keep us in the dark? Having the Clan ostracize us is bad enough without you doing the same thing! We're your children! We're in this as much as you are!"

"And that is exactly why you don't need to know. There are some things that you're all not ready yet, this is one of them. Your present display of impetuousness now only further proves this." Both of them were getting heated to the point where Syaoran and the others were afraid to speak lest the heat turned to them. It was all they could do to observe as the atmosphere became tenser. Perhaps sensing the same thing, Yelan decided to end the argument before it could escalate. "Enough." The fiery weight on her words stunned Fuutie even through her rage. "My mind is made up and I will not hear anymore on this matter. You are all dismissed. I will retire to my room now. I have an early flight to catch tomorrow." With that, she stood up and left, leaving her children in the dining room. Syaoran and the three sisters let out a sigh of relief before turning their attention to Fuutie, who was still standing. Her teeth were tightly locked in a scowl and her whole body trembled in intense emotion.

"Fudie-" Feimei called as she reached out a hand to her sister.

Fuutie pushed her hand away with enough force to stagger her. The action shocked the people present, which made them unable to react as she dashed outside of the dining room. Syaoran watched as the rest of the sisters followed suit, leaving him to reflect on what had transpired.

That had escalated out of control but if he were being honest, he wasn't completely shocked by the turn of events. During his time in Tomoeda, Syaoran had improved his sensitivity towards people and situations. While it's not as sharp as Tomoyo's or her mother's, he was able to pick up on the tension between his eldest sister and mother during his first dinner in Hong Kong, which from what he gathered stemmed from Fuutie's own issues with the Clan. Further developments had made the problem more apparent, so it wasn't like today had no precedent. All the same, he had not expected Fuutie to go head-to-head with their mother.

'I can relate.' Syaoran thought glumly and looked back to the events of the afternoon. While he had only gotten a small taste of it, he now knew what it was like to feel alienated. The Clan had been a part of his his life from birth, but now it seemed like the Clan that he thought he knew was beginning to feel more and more unfamiliar to him. It must've been harder for his sisters, who had been around longer than him. At the same time, he understood why his mother had kept them away from such things. Despite his limited understanding, he knew the Clan's bureaucracies and policies were complex and almost certainly beyond them, so she would not tell them anything for their own sakes and it had worked until today. Perhaps it was inevitable that sooner or later someone would do something to change the status quo and today Fuutie did. The question now was what was he going to do?

The answer came immediately and Syaoran decided on his course of action. He stood up from his seat and rushed to the door that his mother had left from. He could only hope to catch her before she went to her room.

Syaoran caught up to her on a long hallway leading to her chambers. There were windows placed on the right side which allowed the blue of the night to enter and illuminate the mansion's interior. Yelan stood in front of one of these windows, looking intently above to what he assumed was the moon. The latter illuminated her with it's light, allowing Syaoran to see her features. A sad, longing look was on her face and her eyes shone a little as her tears reflected the moonlight. They stayed within her eyes and did not fall, but he could tell that she was sad and began to feel discomfort as he thought of how to approach her in her current state.

Fortunately, she gave him a break and acknowledged his presence. "What is it, Xiao Lang?" she said as she turned to him. Thoughts raced in his mind as he looked at his mother, who had put on her usual expression and erased all traces of her sadness. He had rushed here in a whim and found that he was at a loss for words. There was so much he wanted to ask and he didn't know where to start. For a moment, he considered backing away and leaving, but he had decided to find her and he was not about to back away now.

"Why are you really going away?" Syaoran asked. He was careful to keep his voice calm yet assertive enough to convey his meaning. At the same time, he held his eyes on Yelan's, showing that he wanted answers as well. All he had was his determination and surprisingly, it worked. Perhaps because the fight with Fuutie wore her out, but she was willing to be a bit more open this time, although he was sure if she wanted to make her stance clear now like she did before he wouldn't be able to do anything.

"This situation cannot be allowed to continue. We've played to the demands of the Elders and it has brought us nothing but trouble. If this continues, it will only tear us apart, so I'm doing something before it's too late."

Syaoran picked up the implication behind her words and felt a shiver crawl up his back. His shock and disbelief crept in his voice as he put it to words. "Are you going to fight against the Elders' decision?" It was common knowledge amongst the Clan that the Elders were both powerful in magic and influence. A lot of them were well-known as rich and influential people amongst the magic community and even outside in social and economic circles. This gave them a larger than life reputation and people were eager to either get on their good side or stay away from their bad one, yet here Yelan was suggesting something close to the latter.

Possibly seeing the worry on his face, Yelan immediately addressed his concern. "I understand your worries, which is why I refrained from mentioning this to all of you earlier. By doing this I risk destroying whatever goodwill the Elders have towards us." Yelan's voice slightly weakened as if voicing her doubts made her determination waver, but she quickly summoned it back and straightened her face. "But the risk is worth the reward if the alternative is living with uncertainty hanging over our heads over where we stand. I will not let us live that way." She said with iron resolve. "Not again."

'Again?' Syaoran thought. So something like this has happened before, probably before his birth, though with Yelan it's possible she hid from him all this time. Now new questions were popping up in his mind, which only confused him further.

Once again, Yelan addressed his worries. "I understand you have many questions and I will answer them in due time, but for now, wait a little longer." She approached him and placed her hand on his shoulder. "I promise you I will make things better for all of us." she said with a small smile at Syaoran to assure him, which slightly shocked him.

Under other circumstances, this may have worked, but as it is Syaoran couldn't completely shake of his worries. "Is something like that even possible?" The Elders' word was law amongst the Li Clan and repealing it is an almost futile task.

"There are… ways, although it will be a hard endeavor nonetheless. Even so, we'll take what we can get." Yelan removed her hand and once again spoke seriously. "For now, I don't want you to be burdened with this. It will only distract you from your own problems and that could prove dangerous." Syaoran touched the spot where his burn had been and nodded. "You are strong, Xiao Lang. Use that strength, for yourself and for the people around you."

Syaoran questioned that last statement. His fighting skills weren't doing him any good and his magic was having problems. He felt unprepared, even more than when he was capturing the Clow Cards. Syaoran cast his eyes downwards reflexively, not wanting to look at his mother in the eyes. He didn't want to face her with his weakness lest he failed to meet her expectation.

A hand caressed his cheek and guided his face upwards to meet his mother's gaze. "Do not doubt yourself. You are strong, Xiao Lang, stonger than you know, but true strength comes from a place of self-certainty, of knowing who you are and where you stand. When you find that, strength will follow naturally."

Syaoran looked at his mother in amazement. She always knew exactly what to say to assure her children's worries. He kicked himself internally for being so weak to her and straightened his posture. "I promise I won't fail you. I'll make you proud." he said determinedly.

"You already have." she replied. Yelan made to turn but stopped half-way. "Is there something else you would like to tell me?"

Syaoran realized he made his uneasiness obvious. There were still a lot of things he wanted to ask. About his past, the Elders, and his problems at magic. He weighed these things in his mind and looked at his mother, who would soon be heading off to her own battle. She could offer advice or some help to these problems.

"No, that's all." He replied.

Yelan eyed him suspiciously but ultimately accepted his answer. "Get some rest, Xiao Lang. You have school tomorrow." She left him with that and entered her chambers.

'That's right. Each of us has our own battles to fight. I'll have to find my own way without burdening her.' Syaoran clenched his fists and strengthened his resolve. The moment had come and he had made his choice. He would stand by it, for better or for worse.

He only hoped it would be the former soon.

A/N: I probably should've posted this earlier but since I'm new to FF and was still unfamiliar with it's upload system, so I didn't know you couldn't post notes afterwards. Posting the chapters itself was hell, although in retrospect, posting 8 chapters for the first time in one go was a bit too ambitious of me, but anyway, some background. I posted this story first on and not long ago I decided to post on this site as well. If there's anything wrong with formatting and other details, forgive me and please leave some suggestions how to improve them. Also, don't forget to leave a review of the story. Criticism is greatly appreciated.