Chapter 15: Recovery

"Keep it steady."

"Y-yes!" Feimei hurriedly resumed her position and restarted flowing magic into Syaoran, albeit with some difficulty. Her sisters weren't faring much better but then again, it was almost understandable considering they were healing Syaoran in a moving car. None of them complained, mostly because they were all too focused on their brother to even consider such thoughts and the structure of a limousine made it easier for all five of them to heal him at the same time, but mostly because of the tense aura projected by her.

"His magic levels are dangerously low. What did you do to yourself, Xiao Lang?" She muttered to no one in particular. "Drive faster." She commanded to the driver without taking her eyes off her son as she continued to heal him.

She had kept her composure so far until they reached the car and even then she had tried her best to not visibly start panicking, but it was evident in her expression and the way she spoke. She hadn't looked at anything other than Syaoran ever since they got in the car and her interactions with others amounted to short commands. It wasn't like she was unaware of her actions, but at the moment it didn't concern her, only her son did.

There was after all, something that had set off within her the moment she saw her son, something that even now was writhing in her heart. She looked at her son again, who was still unconscious with multiple scratches and bruises on him, and again the repulsive feeling reared it's head. It was a feeling she knew all too well but loathed with all her being:

Fear.

It was understandable, of course, that the sight of one's child in such a state would trigger her maternal instinct. Her daughters would probably assume the same thing and they wouldn't be wrong. However, what they didn't know and she wouldn't tell them was that her fear ran deeper. The minute she saw her son lie unconscious she immediately thought of another who once helpless before her, a person whose image her son had inherited.

'Stop it!' She admonished herself quickly. 'Now is not the time to be irrational. This is a completely different situation from that time. This isn't life or death. I can still do something.' It has been awhile since she's had to scold herself straight but the sight of her son had caught her off-guard. Even now, the fear that she couldn't do anything to save him persisted like a bad aftertaste.

"Mother?"

Shiefa's timid voice brought her to reality. She looked at her only to see her daughters looking at her with concern.

"As soon as we stop, you girls take him to his room. I'll grab the medicine."

The girls nodded obediently and their expression returned to focus on their injured brother. 'That's right. They're all relying on me. I can't afford to be unfocused.' She readied herself as the car headed to a stop to the mansion. The fear was still there but she would channel it to taking care of her son and she would not fall short.

She would make sure of it.

Everything blurred in his eyes. He could see a blurry figure towering over him. A feeling of weightlessness came over his body, as if he was hanging in the air. Several people were carrying him and he could hear someone barking orders in a strong voice, and then his sight grew darker and he faded back to darkness…

.

.

.

"Hssk!"

Syaoran startled himself awake as he felt air sharply jerk into his lungs. Immediately, a dark ceiling came to view, one he immediately recognized as his own bedroom.

'How did I get here?' was the first thing that came to him. Then, his mind kicked in and he pieced back the events that had happened.

'That's right. I lost the battle, the guards came, and then… they must've taken me home.' After he fully woke up, his body followed suit and his other senses kicked in. A strong herbal scent immediately assaulted his nose as his body reminded him of how injured he was. Carefully, he began moving his hands to prop himself to sit on the bed. His stiff limbs and the injuries were making it a pain to move so he made sure to move as slow as possible. After he sat himself upright, Syaoran was finally able to see himself fully.

It wasn't as bad as he thought, all things considered; nothing was broken, and the worst he sustained was a few bruises and cuts. The first one that came to view was his hands. They were wrapped in bandages halfway to the elbow where the dragon's scales had cut. More bandages were covering his abdomen, which had taken the beating and Fang Zhi's kick. He touched his face and sure enough, there were also bandages where he had been punched in the face. His healers had been thorough; there was no injury in his body left uncovered with bandages. All of them were slightly damp, like they had been soaked in something. Syaoran put his damp finger to his nose and took a whiff. There was a minty, fragrant smell in the liquid from the bandages, the one that he had smelled earlier. Other than that, he also felt traces of magic from the bandage.

'I see.' It was an old way of healing with magic by using a mix of herbs to intensify healing magic. He'd read about it before but had never seen it until now. It was unfortunate that he was the subject of the treatment, though.

Having unraveled what happened to him, Syaoran turned his attention to his room. The single light bulb that was on illuminated it in a yellow glow. He turned to his side where his desk was, and found himself taken aback. Sitting on his chair and hunched facedown over his table was his mother. She was sleeping, using her hands as cushions. Her hair, normally tied in a regal fashion, was untied and hung from her head in messy strands. Having never seen it untied before, Syaoran was a bit taken aback at the sheer amount of it. It wasn't just her hair, though. Her entire appearance was disheveled; her robes had noticeable folds especially around her arms due to her rolling them to her elbows, and he could see folds under her eyes. In the table, there were scissors, a roll of bandages, and a bowl of brown-greenish liquid, no doubt the herbal concoction used to heal him.

A wave of empathy struck him as he took in the image in front of him. He didn't knew what she did when she went away, but he could surmise she must've already had a tiring week and felt a pang of guilt for adding to her worries. He moved to stir her awake, but quickly retracted his hand and decided against it. 'I should let her rest.' He shifted his focus to his body and slowly tested moving his arms and legs. Despite the minor pain, he was able enough to move. That was good.

Moving carefully, Syaoran got down from his bed softly to avoid making any noise. He took a shirt from his wardrobe and carefully put it over his bandaged body. Then, he moved to exit the room, keeping his mother on his sight. With the least amount of force possible, he opened the door slowly and exited the room. As he turned to shut the door, he looked back at his mother. She had not stirred from her position which was unusual for her. She was usually alert even in her tired state. It further hit home just how tired she must be.

He slowly shut the door and turned to the window. It was already dark out, but he couldn't tell how long it had been since he started training in the evening anyways. As it was, the sky was visibly cloudy. That combined with the smell of damp earth told him that rain was coming.

Setting aside those observations, Syaoran went about to do his business. Along the way, he entered the living room and looked at the grandfather clock. It was a little past 9. Besides the clock, he also found his sisters asleep on a couch huddled together though he had heard them long before he entered (Shiefa was a surprisingly loud snorer). The distinct smell of herbs on him was present on them, so he surmised that they must've assisted with his healing. He decided to let them be and continued on to hid destination: the pantry.

The pantry was empty so he fetched what he needed himself. He took a teapot from the cupboard and put some tea leaves within before pouring some hot water over them. Then he took two cups and placed them both in a tray. He took said tray and headed back to his room making sure to walk carefully as to avoid opening up any injuries he might have and making a ruckus. He passed by his sisters again and traversed the hallways back to his room. As he walked back, the rain began to drizzle outside, sending a wave of cold air within the mansion. It was a pleasant feeling that somehow soothed his wounds. He welcomed the refreshing sensation as he neared his room. He was only a few steps away from the door when it swung open and the figure of his mother rushed out looking panicked, her untied hair trailing behind her. She surveyed her surroundings quickly before finally seeing her son, who stood stunned carrying a tray with a teapot and two tea cups.

"Um, I made you some tea. I thought it would help since you were tired." Syaoran spoke nervously.

She didn't say anything in reply. Instead, she approached him slowly, her eyes inspecting his whole figure. When she neared him, she bent down slightly and grasped the tray with both hands, taking it away from him. She put the tray to the side against the wall of the corridor then turned her attention back to him. Syaoran became a slight more nervous. 'Is she angry?' he thought to himself. He mentally prepared himself for whatever came next as she approached him again. Bending down on one knee, she encircled her arms around her son and hugged him gently.

"Thank God you're okay." She spoke in a raspy voice. It was almost let out in a sigh of relief and yet it was spoken with so much emotion, more than he had ever seen her show. He felt her chest relax as she spoke and hugged him a slight more tightly. Something about this spontaneous gesture touched him and caused a sharp, piercing sensation in his chest. Water began to pool in his eyes, though he did not let them spill baring a single tear from his right eye. A little hesitantly, he put his hands around hers.

"Sorry for making you worry."

"I'm your mother; I always worry." she replied. She hugged him a while longer before standing up. A single drop of tear left a trail on her on her right eye which she quickly wiped off. "It's good to see you've recovered a little but you still need to take a rest. Go back to your bed."

Syaoran complied and went to his room. Yelan followed behind him with the tray. Syaoran settled himself back in the bed as Yelan returned to her seat and placed the tray on the table. She cleared away the bandage and the medicine. Afterwards, she poured the tea into both cups and gave them to Syaoran and herself. Both of them enjoyed the soothing hot liquid before Yelan spoke up.

"How are your wounds?" she asked.

"Hurts a little, but I can still move."

Yelan inspected the bandages. "The potion should help to heal them faster. Fortunately, nothing was broken so those wounds should heal in a few days provided you rest up. It would normally be faster, but this kind of healing works faster when the magic of the healer works in tandem with the magic of the patient, but since you've forced yourself to the point of depletion your sisters and I had to restore your magic to a passable level before continuing with the healing treatement."

"I see." That explained his sisters' exhaustion. He couldn't imagine how hard they must've worked to restore him. Guilt overcame him for making them work so much for him. Nervously, he spoke again.

"Are you angry at me?" Syaoran asked.

Yelan looked at his son curiously. "Why would I be?"

"I put myself in danger and made all of you worry."

Yelan sighed. "I was worried, yes, but I have no reason to be angry with you. I don't make judgments unless I know the complete picture, Xiao Lang. You know that."

"So you didn't see what happened?" he asked.

She shook her head. "I would've interfered sooner if I had. Your sisters and I went there to inform Fang Zhi that your evaluation period is over, but when I arrived the wards were fully activated so we rushed inside to investigate and saw you on the ground with Fang Zhi pointing a blade at your head. We intervened quickly and took you back home to take care of your wounds. I'll inspect the training ground myself tomorrow, but for now I want to hear it from you." She looked at him intently. "What happened, Xiao Lang?"

Syaoran took a deep breath and recalled the events that happened. "I was headed to my court for training, but some trainees blocked my way and assaulted me. I managed to incapacitate them but Master Fang Zhi saw what happened and made his own presumptions about what happened. Afterwards, he had me fight him to 'discipline' me."

"I see." Yelan contemplated her son's testimony. It made Fang Zhi's claim of superiority make sense. As it was, the situation could be easily altered in his favor. "So that was the aftermath of your battle."

"Yes." Syaoran looked down in disappointment. "I fought him as best I could, but in the end he was just too strong. I lost."

Yelan covered his right hand with hers gently. "Fang Zhi is one of the strongest magicians in the Clan. That you were able to inflict as much as you did on him is an accomplishment in itself." Then, she gave him a rare smile. Syaoran was left speechless by the compliment and blushed awkwardly.

"Still, I think I could've done better. I was pretty disadvantaged in the beginning because I couldn't use magic-"

"What?" she suddenly cut in. Her tone was sharp and clear.

Syaoran's heart sunk to his stomach as he remembered that he chose not to tell her that detail. He broke off eye contact with her out of fear and fixed his eyes in the ceiling. "Um, well, I've been having problems with magic for quite a while now. For some reason, I couldn't cast spells properly and during the earlier parts of the fight I couldn't cast any spells." A lump rose in his throat. If she wasn't angry before, she certainly was now.

Yelan's hand squeezed slightly on his right hand and her stare sharpened on him. "And you did not think I should know about this?"

"Uh, I-I didn't want to make you worry."

"You do not tell me what I should or should not worry about, Xiao Lang." she spoke harshly. She had let go of his hand and was now leaning closer to him, almost standing up in her seat. "You were in a magic battle against an opponent more skilled and powerful than you with a severe disadvantage. Do you have any idea how dangerous that is? You could've gotten seriously hurt."

Syaoran made to say that he didn't know that he would be unable to use, but decided against it. It wouldn't have made a difference anyway. The only reason he kept standing as long as he did was because Fang Zhi wasn't fighting seriously at times, but even that was beside the point which was that he kept it from his mother. If he had, she could've helped him overcome it and maybe he wouldn't be in such a mess.

He put his head down. "I'm sorry. I just thought I should be able to overcome it myself. I wanted to be able to control my own power, but you're right. I could've endangered myself." Syaoran felt her eyes on him, drilling into his very being. It wasn't until she relaxed herself that he dared look up at her.

Yelan sighed. "I suppose I share some blame as well. Your stubbornness is an unfortunate trait you've inherited from me. I understand that feeling of wanting to do everything by yourself, Xiao Lang, but you are still a child and I am your mother. If there is ever anything troubling you, you have to tell me."

Syaoran looked at her and took a deep breath and gathered courage for what he was about to say next. "Then you too, Mother." He paused slightly to see if there was a negative reaction from her. Finding none other than mild shock from her, he continued. "I know there are things that I don't yet understand, but that doesn't mean I can help. Me, Fuutie, Xuehua, Huanglian, Feimei, we all worry about you so share some of your burden with us and we'll get through it together." Syaoran smiled. "Like a family."

Yelan looked at her son in surprise. That's twice today that her children have said the same thing to her. It was a surreal feeling. In the short time she was gone, it was like they had somehow grown up, or perhaps they had always been this way and it was just the first time they were showing it to her. It filled her with a sense of pride that they were standing up to her. Yet again, she couldn't argue with them.

"I accept those conditions." she spoke with a smile. Syaoran breathed out a sigh of relief when he realized she was not angered by his demand. With that decided, she went back to questioning him. "So how did you overcome your problem?"

"I'm not sure." Syaoran admitted. He looked back on the events that had happened and tried to piece it together. "I knew I had a lot of conflicted thoughts back then, about Sakura, the Clan, and whether or not I belonged in the Li Clan. I felt like nothing I did was right. I questioned whether or not I should remain in the Clan." Looking back on it, he felt ashamed for even considering that. Even now, fierce rejection stirred in his heart. "But I realized something; that no matter what happened, I will always be a Li and I wouldn't let anyone take that away from me. I decided that I will make them acknowledge me as a Li and approve of my wish to go back to her. After that, the magic flowed clearly through me- clearer than anything I'd ever felt in my entire life. The only time I felt like that was when-"

Syaoran stopped in the middle of his sentence as the memory surfaced to his mind and felt heat rising in his cheeks. He broke eye contact from his mother, though he knew she was perceptive enough to guess who the memory involved. There was no sense in not telling her now.

"There was one time back in Japan when there was a magical disturbance in the school. Sakura had cast Maze and Illusion to disguise the magic from bystanders. I went in after her but was also caught up in the Cards' powers. I wanted to get to her quickly, so I focused everything I had and managed to cut through the Cards to reach her." Having spoken the embarrassing part, he calmed down a bit. "It was a similar feeling to when I faced Fang Zhi's spell, only this time it was clearer. It was like I wasn't even there; there was only magic, constantly flowing through me almost like a river."

Yelan considered her son's words for a few moments. "What did you feel when both of these events happened?"

Syaoran mulled over the question. "I felt determined. I had something I wanted to do and I knew I would do everything to achieve it. There was no confusion or hesitation; I just knew I wanted to do it and just like that the magic flowed naturally."

Yelan nodded at his answer. "Clarity of mind is important when using magic, Xiao Lang. I've told you this before. A lot of mages often forget this and try to use magic while their mind is conflicted. This often doesn't give them the results they desire, so they become more frustrated and try to further control magic." She raised her hand and created a few sparks of light from her hand. "But magic is a part of the natural world like air and water, and nature cannot be controlled. When we try to control nature, it fights against us. It's a false perception that magicians control magic; we work with it and to do that we need to have a clear mind."

"I see." Syaoran clutched his hands tight. His mother's words felt refreshing as they reminded him of his determination. He reaffirmed that goal again in his head; he was going to return to Sakura and he would do it properly as a member of the Li Clan. "I won't forget that." he spoke to his mother and himself.

"I'm glad." Yelan replied.

A silence took over and hung over them, though it didn't feel awkward. It was just a natural lull in the conversation. Eventually, Syaoran spoke up again.

"What's going to happen now?" he asked with uncertainty in his voice.

Yelan looked to the corner of the room for a moment before returning to his son. "I can't say. The Elders will obviously launch their own investigation into things, but the most likely conclusion is that they will favor Fang Zhi's testimony."

"Is it because of your relationship with them?" Yelan looked at him questioningly. "I heard some things from Fuutie."

"And Wei too, no doubt." she added with a sigh. "No point being discreet about it now. It's true that my relationship with the Elders isn't the best. I've always tried to keep it from you children; Clan politics are a dirty business that you children shouldn't have to deal with, which is why it's unfortunate that it's come to this. But back to your question: Yes, that is part of it but even disregarding that, it's their only available course of action. After all, sending Fang Zhi was their choice; if they admit he was at fault then they too would be at fault by extension, and the Elders don't make mistakes."

Syaoran gritted his teeth and balled his fists. What she said was true, but there was nothing they could do. For the first time, he felt he could relate to Meiling and Fuutie's stories. "It's unfair. They should give more respect to you, especially someone they appointed to be one of their Head Sorcerers."

Yelan gently touched his tightly wound hand. "Don't get yourself worked up, Xiao Lang. You still haven't recovered yet." Feeling his son settle down, she retreated to her seat. "At first glance, their treatment of me as someone they appointed may not make sense, but the conditions leading up to my appointment as the Head Sorceress of Hong Kong was not ideal. Besides, that all hardly matters now."

"What do you mean?"

Yelan took a deep breath and explained. "When I went to Beijing, I called for a meeting with the Elders to convince them to complete your evaluation period. They were more obstinate than ever, but after a lot of negotiating, we came to agree on these terms. The first was financial compensation for the funding supplied during your stay in Japan. The second one was my resignation from the position of Head Sorceress. In exchange, they would end your evaluation period and your training would be fully overseen by me and no one else."

Syaoran took a moment to process what he had just heard. He knew what those words meant; he just didn't believe it to the extent that he dreaded speaking it himself.

"You… gave up your position for me?"

Yelan's face remained calm in contrast to the news she had just delivered. "Those terms aren't as harsh as they may sound. It's true that the Elders supplied funding to send you to Japan and make you live there but I've always used it sparingly. One of the things that your father and I worked hard to ensure that we could stand on our own without the Clan, so we do have enough money in reserve to survive even with the debt to the Elders. We might have to cut corners in some areas but our family's survived on less."

"As for my position as the Head Sorceress, I told you that my appointment came under less than ideal circumstances so it's not as big a loss as you might think. It's true that there are certain benefits that the position affords that now we don't have, but most of those benefits are also tied to the Elders. Considering our already deteriorating relationship, it was more likely they saw me more as a pawn to move when they told me to rather than someone who was trusted to the position, so those benefits are rendered moot since my movements would be restricted anyway. I still have connections within the Clan even without my position. In the end, I've gained as much as I lost."

"But still, you gave all that up." Syaoran protested and looked down in guilt. "And in the end, it was for nothing. Thanks to me, your efforts went to waste."

Yelan shook her head immediately. "Xiao Lang, the most important thing to me is my family: you, Fuutie, Xuehua, Huanglian, and Feimei. There is no price I wouldn't gladly pay for all of your wellbeing. If anything, it's my fault for not acting sooner; I left you alone and forced you to fend for yourself." She reached for his hand and grasped it lightly. "I'm sorry, Xiao Lang, for not doing something sooner. I should've been more alert as soon as I knew Fang Zhi was the one appointed as the person evaluating you; I thought that since the Elders still had a vested interest in you that he wouldn't dare do anything, but I underestimated his resentment."

Syaoran was surprised to say the least. He couldn't recall an occasion where his mother actually apologized to him before. It was an awkward feeling to say the least, and he tried to dismiss her immediately. "It's okay, you didn't do anything wrong, but what's going to happen to us now?"

Yelan clutched her son's hand tighter. "It's hard to say, but whatever it is, we'll face it together properly this time. I promise." She gave him a small smile before letting go of his hand. "For now, however, the most important thing is that you rest. I've kept you up long enough as it is." She said whilst rising from her chair. "I'll have Wei check-up on you regularly. If you need anything, give him a call." With that, she walked towards the door. She was just about to turn off the lights in his room when Syaoran called back from behind.

"Mother?"

She turned back to him and lowered her hand. "What is it, Xiao Lang?"

Syaoran took a deep breath. "Can you tell me what happened between you and the Clan?"

The question hung in the air between them. Syaoran felt the situation grow tenser; he didn't know how sensitive the subject was to her, though judging from her mildly shocked expression it must be quite a soft spot. He felt himself when her expression softened with a sigh.

"I suppose it was going to come up sooner or later." Yelan looked him straight in the eyes. "I'll tell you some other time, but not now. It's a long story, and right now you need to rest first."

"With all due respect, Mother, I just woke up so I'm currently quite awake, especially after a cup of tea. A conversation would be helpful in helping me getting some sleep. Besides, you've been constantly referring to your relationship to the Elders as the root of all these complications, but I've yet to know what transpired between. I would only be up more restless thinking about it now, so it would be most helpful to me if I had the full picture."

Syaoran gulped nervously. It was the first time he had talked back to his mother. He had kept his tone as respectful as possible and was careful with his choice of words, but there was nothing he could do if she decided to reprimand him. Still, he was determined to know and the chance to ask her face to face like this was rare enough that he wasn't going to pass on this presented chance. He waited as Yelan continued to stare at him, obviously contemplating it herself.

A wave of relief came over him when her gaze relaxed on him. "Very well, it seems you're quite adamant on it." His body, which had subconsciously tensed up in anticipation, relaxed immediately. He let out a sigh of relief as his mother came back to take a seat.

"Are you sure you want to do this now? This is quite a long story."

Syaoran nodded affirmatively, keeping a steady gaze as Yelan eyed him as if to judge his determination. If that was the case, she appeared to find him determined enough. She poured herself a cup of tea and took a sip before continuing.

"Then, I'll start where it all began."

A/N: Another update. Nothing much to say about this chapter. It's mostly an aftermath chapter and a segue into more expositional stuff. With the new year approaching, I want to at least update one more time before the year's over but if I don't make it then this will be the last chapter of the year. Leave your thoughts or criticisms in the comments, as usual.