CHAPTER XXXIII
Whilst she continued her way northwest, after taking the narrowest of the three paths to cross the forest on the outskirts of the city bordering Trost, Elia noticed this was the second time they'd see each other outside her home District, although this time wouldn't be a coincidence as it happened at the orphanage.
She looked around, admiring the way darkness faded with the first rays of sunlight coming through the top of the trees, thinking about her sister, and feeling somewhat downhearted; after all, be trained by him had been one of Ilva's dreams yet she was the one that got to have it. The woman sighed, trying not to think that and checked the time on her father's pocket watch, stretching her mouth when she realized she wasn't going to make it there before 5AM, unless she did in the thirty seconds left for that.
I'm sure he's already there, she said to herself, recalling his indications from the previous morning. Follow an old trail to your left once you reach the fifth apple tree on the road's right side. Ride straight and you'll find a small clearing. You'll meet me there…
Leaving town side by side wasn't impossible; the guards posted at the entrance seldom ran an inspection on civilians, unless it was a large group or something. Even so, that didn't mean they'd never do it so, that's why they unfortunately needed a meeting point to keep a low profile and act cautiously.
Finally on the right path, Elia prepared herself to deal with grumpy Captain Levi, foreseeing a glare and some bad temper given lateness was among the many things that bugged him. It was then she spotted a tiny light in the distance, coming from inside the forest instead of above, and as she got closer, the same got bigger until she caught sight of a campfire in the middle of the clearing he'd talked about. As soon as she entered that area, the healer located him to her left, a couple trees away, standing in front of his magnificent black stallion that'd just accepted a red apple from his hand, and who neighed when it sensed her brown mare approaching.
"You're late" he pointed out, patting the animal's forehead, and looking at her out of the corner of his eye, just to make sure she was alright "What happened?" the soldier inquired.
Elia removed her hood and stopped to get down, not blind to the frown in his face before she guided her mount near them, to tie it beside his. She saw the man pulling another apple out of his bag and offered it to her horse, who loved the treat and whinnied happily at the man, to what she also smiled in gratitude.
"It was only ten minutes, Captain" she replied as they walked towards the fire, where he had a couple things heating.
With a single gesture, he beckoned her to take a seat on a big root of a gnarled tree trunk and gave her a mug with a burning beverage in it, which by the smell was unmistakably tea. She took a small sip and noted his lips were still pressed together in annoyance, so it was impossible for her to suppress a tiny smile that made him grunt reprovingly.
"I haven't heard your excuse yet" he said and sipped his own drink, refusing a piece of the bread she'd brought and offered "I ate something while I waited".
"Inspection" Elia said and shrugged, giving a glance to the horses, thoughtfully "For a moment, I feared they'd confiscate my things".
"The new guidelines prevent such thing... Unless you decide to go around carrying a bomb, drugs, or anything fishy" he began to say. His sarcasm constantly amused her but given he was actually being serious and such scenario wasn't fun at all, she kept a stoic face "They can't. Especially if you travel alone, or you'd be an easy prey to any pig out there" his hardened expression was enough to gather it'd pissed him off to imagine it. But that soon went away and instead, concern was all that was left "There's something else you're not telling".
"It has nothing to do with that" she clarified, looking down to her hands, knowing he wouldn't drop it now that he'd noticed "It's just… I feel a bit guilty".
"Huh?" the soldier tilted his head in confusion "What for?"
"For living my sister's dream" get it out of her system had been better than expected.
"Is not like you killed her and stole it from her" he responded, holding her gaze "Not to mention, you didn't even ask for this".
See? You're being stupid, Elia, Ilva's voice said while her mind pictured the girl's face and the smug smile she used to give her whenever she thought she was being irrational.
"I know, but for years, it was all she gabbed about" the woman shared with a sad smile, averting her eyes, and looked to the flames "Makes me wonder what she might have said about us".
"What ifs are nothing but a pain in the ass, Elia, so stop that shit" she snapped out of her thoughts and looked to him. Despite the apparent calmness, there was pain and sadness the eyes staring back at her "Had your sister been alive and healthy, she wouldn't have said or done anything because we wouldn't have met. Not the way we did".
"What are you saying?"
"Cause and effect. That's all" the man noticed her bewilderment remained, so he sighed dejectedly "We only met because of the nights spent at your house. In any other circumstances…" he made a pause and looked away, clenching his fists "Things would have been very different had she lived and been trained by me".
"That's the funny thing, because I'm sure we'd have met no matter what, Levi" she contradicted with her natural kindness "You cannot imagine how much Ilva looked up to you" the woman said to his vacant expression, because she knew he comprehended that; after all, he had a little sister that saw him like that, the one called Isabel.
When he first spoke about her and Furlan, she'd considered maybe there was more but she soon realized his bond with her hadn't been the romantic kind; the girl simply respected and worshipped him, things she had in common with her own sister. Elia actually remembered one of their usual chats in the middle of the dark while laying on their beds in a cold winter night; she asked about her motivations to follow this man, and none of them had anything to do with a crush. Levi was her hero, she thought, half smiling for herself.
"She shouldn't have. I've never been one to be looked up to" he snorted, feeling those words were just too big for scum like him.
"I respectfully disagree" the woman retorted, reminding him of all the things she saw in him with those magnificent eyes and the fondness in them "And, as I was saying, I know we'd have met because my sister planned on inviting you home, to delight you with mom's food" she took a deep breath, considering other events "Even if our parents had been the only ones to die, I'd have tried my best for her" though his melancholy hadn't vanished, his eyes also showed surprised now "So, it might have been in a different situation, but it'd have still happened".
"That's not the debate, Elia. You're right about meeting each other, but you'd have hated me" he said, using his strongest monotone voice yet she could feel the anguish underneath. She stared at him, her mouth partly opened in shock and distress at this assumption "Had your sister been alright, she'd have probably perished with Petra and the others. We'd have met hours later, just so I could inform that she was gone forever, along with her body".
Elia knew he'd managed to make peace with himself about that day though that didn't mean he'd forgotten about them, or the promise he made. But he was partially right. Sure, there was no absolute certainty of it but if Petra and the other amazing war veterans were defeated, her sister and her friends most likely wouldn't have make it either.
"I see what you're saying, and you're right" she conceded, getting a glimpse of hurt in his eyes when she did "That's probably the way we might have interacted for the first time, but tell me Captain, do you honestly believe I'd have hated you?"
He was dumbstruck at that. But then he sighed in defeat, and the hurt she saw was replaced with relief, letting her see he knew the answer.
"Guess not, but your sister's condition was the key of all" as fucked up as it sounded, that was a fact and the truth.
"I know Ilva's state had a lot to do with our chance to get to know each other but it wasn't just that" the healer remarked, astounding him "What made a difference was your decision to help us, Levi. No matter your reasons, it was something you did freely, and I know it was an honor for her, whether she knew or not".
He said no more but watched a soft smile before go back to finishing her piece of bread and then empty the content of her mug in one go, giving him time while she washed the container with some water she'd pulled out of her bag and finally handed the object to him.
"We'd better get going" he said with an earnest expression yet feeling now in a somewhat better mood, having unexpectedly cleared part of an old insecurity he had after hearing that last statement "You may not be learning all from scratch but there's still a lot to cover".
Elia nodded and imitated him when she saw him got up from the rock he'd been sitting on and walked towards their horses to have them ready. She looked to the remains of their small campfire, the embers that kept on glowing, and carefully poured water all over them until the whole firepit got wet. She poked in it several times with a stick, to see if there were no bright spots left before she could bury it with dirt and more water. By the time she was certain it'd been properly put out, Levi was standing behind her, holding the reins of both animals. Five minutes later, the hooded two were back on the road, and the healer had no clue as to where he was taking her. The only thing she knew was that they were heading northwest.
It was a fortune that it was cold, so they weren't the only ones covered; except for them it was mostly to avoid being recognized, Levi specially. In any case, the few travelers they encountered showed not much interest in any of them.
After thirty minutes riding and going around a very small town, Elia glanced at the soldier moving beside her and she wasn't entirely sure, but he seemed somewhat tense now that they were getting closer to the next village, one that didn't look particularly populated; it was her first impression from afar since no movement or sound came from the place, and that was rare.
Evidently, she had no idea what she was about to see, but Levi was determined to teach her as much as he could so she could fend for herself. Reason why he'd also brought his gear to continue practicing out in the open; the five hours spent at an empty warehouse a week ago had been helpful to work on her balance, which she managed to do well enough.
"That's right" he said, taking a peek on her and seeing absolute bafflement in her expression when they finally entered town "There's no one here and there hasn't been for a while now" judging by the damage around, that was easy to figure.
"I don't remember the map of the Walls but this is Ragako, isn't it?" she asked as they moved forward, to the main avenue. Soon after that, Elia lowered her hood to her shoulders, trying to make sense of the single nod in response to her question.
As a civilian, she ignored the suspicions they currently had regarding this place, its residents and what actually happened. Like Erwin and Hange had said, it was difficult to share such story with the population without spreading panic, fearing their hometowns could be next; they didn't even have proof nor a detailed explanation on how the hell the enemy did this. His one certainty about it was how sick and furious he felt to learn the uncountable titans he'd killed were once humans, mostly innocent, yet he had no choice but to keep on exterminating them without hesitation if they represented a threat.
"You remember the day we received word that Wall Rose had been breached?" the soldier said and saw understanding in her eyes "This is where the attack began".
"The newspaper said there was no clarity as to how titans got inside. That was the official statement" she said, recalling what Garrett had shared at the hospital and what she'd read while observing the local church, or what was left of it; the entire right wing was nothing but rubble, where the growing weed showed it'd been some time since.
"A half-truth" he confessed, making his horse stop when he caught sight of her doing the same. He figured she was putting two and two together but seemed to reject it at the same time "Problem is we don't have enough evidence to support our theory yet" he said, making a decision about what he'd share with her "But Hange's investigation leads us to believe the titans that got inside are, in fact, the people that used to live here".
"But, how?" she muttered, freezing on the spot and stared to the reins in her own hands with a disturbed expression. He could tell she was trying to stay calm so he could speak freely.
"You've never asked about the metallic pocket-sized box I've carried around for over two weeks" Elia gazed at him and tilted her head, not entirely sure why he was bringing that up. "And I'm positive you've seen it" she knew what he was referring to, just as she knew his line of work required extreme discretion, so if he didn't say anything about it, she wasn't going to push it.
"I don't like meddling in things that aren't my business" there was no smirk on his face but the cunning sparkle in his gaze expressed quite well his satisfaction at that "Well, unless it's a life-or-dead sort of matter".
"I know. That's why I trust you" he said right before getting down of his horse, thinking about that saying: ignorance is a bliss… which he considered nothing but an illusion to delude themselves and accept shit easier. Not Elia, he thought as he approached her in silence. If she dies, she dies fighting, he hissed at any possible scenario.
The soldier took the reins off her hands and guided both horses to a front yard of a house severely damaged. He tied both to an old tree and then leaned his shoulder on the same, arms folded and frowning a little. The story he was sharing got darker within every word, and it was one of the most perturbing things she could have imagined, so much that she had been unable to move nor dismount for the past ten minutes. She only did by the time he was done, fearing her mare would perceive the turmoil inside her and get anxious as well.
"They… somehow…" she was trying to wrap her head around it when she saw him gesturing towards the street, telling her to follow him "What if they poisoned the water supply with that serum? It's the one thing all people need and use on a daily basis".
"We can't be certain about how they did it but I'm afraid your theory is not plausible. The thing evaporates as soon as it leaves the container" he pointed out whilst guiding her through the main avenue, until they reached the intersection he seemed to be looking "We're here" she heard him say after they turned to the left and she felt her heart skipping a beat.
The healer hadn't seen a titan since Trost, but even then, she never saw one from close range, not a living one at least; Eren's stepsister saving her along many others from one was pretty much it. So, this sudden terror wasn't something she'd have expected to feel this day; her legs had stopped moving the instant she encountered a huge pair of green eyes fixed upon them. Not to mention the way her heart rate increased, and her breathing turned faster when she saw the creature trying to move at the other side of the street.
"Good. Despite fear, your hands still got hold of something" Levi's voice brought her back to present. He'd been standing to her right the entire time, which she forgot. The healer nervously gulped and barely turned to him, who was staring down, to her right hand "Not the best choice but better than nothing" she followed his eyes and got surprised to see a knife in her shaky hand.
After that, Elia observed him move forward, whereas she couldn't bring herself to speak or do anything yet, not even now that Levi stood like a statue, fifteen feet away from the creature and stared at it very still and silent.
Put yourself together, woman! she commanded herself and closed her eyes for a moment, focusing on her breathing, trying to relax and that fortunately helped. Next step was daring to look at it again without stressing out; three minutes later she finally made it and put the weapon back inside.
She inhaled deep before getting closer, incredibly self-aware of those creepy eyes on her, putting her on the alert. And now that she was standing beside the soldier, the titan centered on both and tried to move, without success. It was then, after studying it for a minute or two, that she got to see a painful agony in those abnormally big, bulging eyes; one that showed how badly it wanted, needed, to devour them.
"That's..." she mumbled, overwhelmed by sadness when she recalled all the villagers had been turned into these grotesque things.
"That's one of my subordinate's mother" Elia's eyes widened in horror as she watched the huge deformed body "Connie assures it's her. Says this thing actually welcomed him that day and according to the portrait he has, the resemblance with the lady is undeniable" he added, turning to the woman next to him and got stunned at her silent tears.
"This cruelty is unforgivable" she'd never been the kind of person to easily hate others, but such villainy was beyond any excuse. That poor woman, the entire village… All condemned, just because someone felt like playing God… She couldn't believe what was going through her head but whoever did it surely knew there was no redemption. "How's the boy?" she asked, feeling so angry and devastated as she wiped her face with the sleeve of her jacket, angrily.
"Coping" the man said and turned back to the creature, knowing she was trying to compose herself "Playing the fool as he usually does, though sometimes is a total pain in my ass; when he insists I let him train until late" he explained in a dead tone, keeping his rage at bay as he remained watchful to the titan's attempts to reach them. "Honestly, this shitty situation doesn't make me happy but it's good to see he's toughened up, steeling himself to fight instead of cracking".
Truth to be told, to simply imagine himself in the brat's shoes infuriated him; seeing his mother sick and dying was a consequence of the conditions in which they lived, but it was life and he accepted it. But just like Elia had said, this was unforgivable, and he was determined to find the piece of shit behind it. Make him or her pay for despising these people's lives.
He'd been so self-absorbed that couldn't help a startle the second he perceived a soft hand covering his fist. Until his muscles relaxed, and so did his mind, when he recognized her touch, helping him quiet his emotions as they stood there, facing the monster.
"Since they know how to do this to us, maybe there's a way to revert it..." she offered, hoping Levi's subordinate could get his mother back someday.
"If there's one, they won't share it willingly. It might take quite a while to find that out" Levi observed, having mixed feelings "Putting her out of this misery sounds fairer if you ask me".
It was good being able to talk this openly with her. After all, what she went through with her younger sister allowed her a different perspective of things, meaning she'd understand why he hated the idea of keeping the lady like this; it was no way to live.
"How come…?"
"Hange. She asked Erwin to just let her be, saying she may run some tests, though I believe it's mostly for Connie… this thing cannot move an inch, so it's almost harmless" the man explained, anticipating her question. He sighed tired then, setting his eyes on their hands.
"I know you cannot afford the hope to save her but maybe Connie does" the healer said, rubbing the back of his hand with her thumb reassuringly "There may be a day he'll be ready to let go, Levi. Just give him that" he looked this time into her eyes, reading what she couldn't bring herself to say: a miracle wasn't entirely impossible. He didn't believe so, but she was different from him. And to be honest, he'd come to enjoy her way of seeing things, that optimism he lacked.
"I'll still bag the pig that did this" his tone was calm yet enraged. The way he narrowed his eyes to look at the titan one last time showed how truly angered and resentful the man was, and she couldn't blame him. He'll search for the responsible, even if it takes a lifetime, she thought as he let go of her hand and turned, needing a minute alone.
It'd been a long time since the she witnessed that silent fury, but that was undeniably the man she first saw up on the wall: the lonely soldier that had experienced mostly pain, loss, injustice, and despair throughout his life but forced himself to endure them, burying all deep inside to keep fighting. That side of him never left but having met his serene, caring, and somewhat carefree self, well, overshadowing the grouchy man that visited her old home one night, months ago, wasn't hard. Regardless of it, his noble essence was the same, and as she contemplated him from afar, all she wished right now was to somehow be able to protect the man she'd come to unexpectedly respect, admire and love. Not physically though; his fragile soul worried her more.
A couple minutes later, Elia sensed his hand on her left shoulder, telling her it was time to go however, before doing so, the healer tilted her head respectfully at the creature. It may had been stupid and unnecessary, but he asked no questions or made any comments about it, and she appreciated it; if the woman somehow recognized her son, then maybe she was trapped inside that huge, deformed body.
As she followed him back to where they'd left their horses, Elia couldn't help but wonder how long the lady would have to be like that. There might not be a solution, her inner voice said, understanding why the man now untying their mounts preferred to give the woman a rest from everything.
"Thank you, Levi" she suddenly said to him when he handed the reins of her mare, and she could tell by his puzzled face she'd caught him off guard. So, the healer looked at him straight into his eyes, no smile or anything else except seriousness "For showing me this" Elia explained, and though he said nothing, his eyes at least no longer seemed distant and distressed.
Sharing this was a huge deal. Not only he was trusting her with important and sensitive information, but also confiding his rage, helplessness, as well as the frustration in relation to the mother of a person that mattered to him. So, he comprehended she wholeheartedly meant that, unaware of how her sole presence had been enough to comfort his spirit.
"Come on. I want to get there before seven".
After she nodded twice and turned to climb on her horse, he was unable to stop thinking as he watched her stroking the mare's mane. It wasn't as if she'd never said thanks for something; on the contrary, Elia was extremely polite and ever since they got together, she'd felt free to say those words and he hadn't mind. It was fine because it was her, but he couldn't understand why they'd felt different lately, as if she were also expressing her gratitude for a lot more. It was something he just couldn't quite put his finger on yet, so he dropped it.
Heading south, the soldier and the healer resumed the march to a forest past Ragako that suited his purpose perfectly. Elia said nothing during the ten-minute ride, still assimilating what had just happened as well as the object he carried in the metallic box, which would only serve the Corps if they managed to capture another shifter, like Eren; without that, the serum was nothing but a curse that'd leave a person like Connie's mother. She gave a weary sigh, imagining different scenarios in her head.
"What are you thinking?" Levi asked all of a sudden, riding beside her and stealing a glance at her after hearing that.
"About the injection" she couldn't help worrying, so she wasn't going to lie to him "I get it. It could help saving someone's life but considering what happened to Rod Reiss, it makes me uneasy. Accepting the odds in the battlefield is one thing but imagining your friends and comrades trying to eliminate you because the mutation went wrong…" she managed to explain as best as she could.
"I see" he mumbled, and continued riding in silence for a whole minute before addressing her again "Like it or not, it's a possibility I cannot deny. But Hange's theory states that Reiss turned out like that after the way he ingested the liquid, contaminated on the floor and I think her guess may be right. They usually are" the man offered, and lightly flinched "Don't you ever tell her I said that" he warned, and then adopted a much more serious tone "Either way, good or bad, I'm no candidate, and neither is Mikasa".
"Because of the Ackerman bloodline?" she didn't know that much about the family, nor did he, but she remembered well her astonishment the day he told her Doctor Yaeger's stepdaughter was an Ackerman too. Her father probably knew, considering he was closer to Grisha, but given it wasn't the kind of thing he'd consider important, he never mentioned it; not that it'd have meant anything to her years ago.
"Indeed. We cannot tell if it's going to be a mess or if it'll a total waste on us. So, it's a risk we won't take".
"Makes sense" Elia muttered, looking behind them, to the space they'd just entered the forest, where light was brighter. Then looked back at him, pensive "To be honest, I believe that even if you were a candidate, you'd probably refuse the injection and rather die. Just because you hate the idea of eating someone else".
She got no response to that except a snort full of amusement at the accuracy of her statement. Had his blood been normal, he knew he wouldn't have had a choice but that didn't mean he'd feel different about it; he undoubtedly loathed that scenario. Therefore, this was actually one of the few times he felt glad about his legacy.
"Let's leave them here" the soldier said when they reached a decent place for their mounts to rest. It was a very small clearing, but it had grass and a stream nearby, so he grabbed a large piece of rope from his stuff and used it around some trees, creating an improvised fence "We won't be far".
Elia nodded and got off, untied her bag and Ilva's bow and arrows, with which she had been practicing for the past two weeks.
"We'll be back in a few hours, missy" she said to the mare while Levi was getting his things "Can I trust you'll behave with this fine gentleman around?" Elia said and smile at the nicker she got in return "I know. Wish me luck".
"Ready?" the soldier enquired, pretending he had not seen that while he adjusted what seemed to be a heavy bag on his back. The healer was doing the same with hers now, but he still glimpsed the way she patted the animal's nose after their brief exchange. "Let's go" he said and started getting deeper inside the forest.
Something inside rejoiced to see her doing such simple thing. It was a type of kindness not many people had towards other lifeforms, thinking they didn't deserve respect and care if they aren't yours or profitable things. But Elia was a gentle person, and this little moment had brought memories of a girl he missed: a tomboy crazy little redhead that was his family. And for some strange reason, to remember Isabel's similar good heartedness, didn't hurt as bad as it used to.
A couple minutes later and having set their camp in an open small area without many trees or bushes inside, Levi decided to go for it immediately; after all, this was but one of the two opportunities he'd have to train her out in the open.
"Here. This is one of mine, same size as the one I'm wearing that I lent you before" he explained as he handed a medium sized bag. He saw her taking a curious look in it, then at him, waiting for instructions "We managed to work in your balance last time so I wanna see how you do in here. So, keep in mind that learning to move around won't be easy" the soldier raised one of his eyebrows when he saw her lips slightly pursed, as if she were holding back from something, trying to control her facial expressions "I remember how good you did on putting these on, so don't expect me to help you with it" he declared.
"I need to confess something, Captain" she said, lowering her head a little, visibly stressed "I wasn't lying when I said I had never put my hands on the equipment, but I didn't tell you I knew where the straps go and all; I saw my sister doing it several times so, that wasn't me being a natural or anything. I felt bad for not telling you".
"Hmph" Levi crossed his arms and looked to a side, restraining himself from a half smile at her naivety. She truly thought he didn't know "You may fool me every so often but never in my field, woman" he assured, conceited but also keeping a stoic face and serious attitude now that they were facing each other "Anything else I should know before we get to business?" Elia stood straight and shook her head no "Good. Don't you ever forget gearing up quick should be your priority if you're under attack" he remarked, beckoning her to start.
Elia tried not to gaze at the quiet man walking around her, nor his critical stare while she tightened the belt around her chest, the final part of the process; this was no joke, and she didn't want to miss the mark, disrespect and disappoint him.
"Not fast enough but I'll let it pass… for now" he sighed bothered, yet he was glad she at least managed to do it perfectly "Keep those for yourself and use them to practice every day" the soldier instructed, knowing he'd see improvement in a couple days. Her eyes showed great commitment but also some concern.
"Won't you be in trouble if I do that? I mean, if I keep them" the healer asked, well aware that he wouldn't care about that, but she did "As far as I remember, these are only for military use. I know it won't matter if I get one during chaos but…"
"Not really. That's an old one of mine that I declared useless" the man explained nonchalantly "It wasn't a lie. The one in charge saw it, he just doesn't know I fixed it" then clarified "Back when I lived in the underground, that was necessary to learn given how hard was to put our hands on new gear" he added when he saw her restlessness.
"Alright, but if you're caught or something, I want you to tell them I stole it from you, okey?" she demanded.
"That's stupid and makes no sense" Levi said as he narrowed his eyes at her. However, his blue ones shone cunningly as he scratched his chin, imagining the scenario in his mind "But alright. I'll go with it just for the sake of making an example of you though".
"As much as I like your suggestion, it makes no sense either" she answered back, calm and professional to his expectant face "You wouldn't allow a single soul to see that, therefore, not happening" the innocent shrug she gave stated how true that was "Now, teach me some more, Captain".
Elia noticed he was miffed about it, however, the very slight smirk he gave away as he turned, slowly shaking his head as he walked in the opposite direction, told her it was an act. She'd have certainly loved to keep on playing but she couldn't indulge herself, especially when considering leaving town next time would be trickier due to his responsibilities, therefore, making the most of it today was important.
After placing some objects onto different branches, the man came back with a couple daggers in his hands, and as she looked at him attentively, she knew he surely guessed her intentions of using all of this to help others. And despite he didn't like it much, Elia was certain he accepted it because he also wouldn't follow the "every man for himself" policy, not when innocent lives were at stake.
"Given I know you can defend yourself effectively in terms of hand-to-hand combat, and you've already learnt the few moves I've shown you, today will be all about your aiming and balance" Levi said, handing the daggers to her and pointed to what looked like super old rag dolls.
"Got it, Captain" the woman announced, taking a deep breath while she assumed a firm position and measured the weighed of the blade in her hand. She aimed the first target and finally threw the blade, failing for two inches.
She kept on trying with the next five and succeeded at the last three.
"You're overthinking" the man corrected her after recovering the blades and placed the objects on spots that seemed even harder. "Remember: this is an extension of your arm, that's the weight you need to control, not just the dagger. Once you visualize that, it gets easier" he gave her the blades once more "Go on. Do it again" he ordered, and she obeyed.
It wasn't until the sixth attempt that she finally hit the five targets consecutively, and the reward she got was another hour doing the same, without him standing beside her. Nonetheless, the better she did, the harder things got because he was increasing the distance, but she still managed it. So, as soon as he noticed she got the hang of it, he moved to the bow and arrows.
"What we did a moment ago was just warming up" he said, and she knew what he meant by that, because she felt considerably more confident about her movements, and how to direct them for better aiming "Elia, the daggers and knifes may come in handy for several things, but it ain't the same with a titan. You always must be mindful of their different sizes and behavior before engaging them, unless of course, you have no other choice".
"When should I consider they're way too big to achieve anything?" she asked, taking mental notes while she adjusted the bow and arrow.
"Anything below eight meters should be within your grasp. The rest, don't try anything unless you have the high ground to attack" he said very seriously "Just remember, this is not about terminating the thing".
"What if I can kill it?"
"With that?" he enquired incredulously, raising an eyebrow "Hardly" this time he stared to the weapons she was holding "The damage you can inflict on them is not vital. This kind of attack can only grant a couple minutes to escape" this time, Levi pointed to his imitation of a titan, the one he improvised with an old tree trunk he'd hung from a nine-meter tree nearby.
"You said I could assist someone else. That joining forces was a smart move" she reminded, thinking about her friend from the Military Police twice today. She hadn't seen him in a long time, but he was the only officer she could possibly trust, yet of course, it wasn't something that would make Levi very happy.
"You can, but you're the one to judge the situation and know if that person is capable of delivering the final blow" he explained, and judging by the frown and chin up, she imagined he knew she'd thought about Garrett "I wouldn't trust MPs much. Not having faced real, constant action makes them an easy prey, paralyzed by fear. The Garrison is different, not great but good enough".
She heard an exasperated sigh, one that expressed his displeasure, confirming he'd seen right through her but added nothing else, letting her know he was willing to accept him when it came to survival, which of course, didn't make her happy but it was the only way; no matter how much it hurt to keep her distance from someone she considered family, Levi he'd been right about their friendship so the best for him was to keep her distance.
"I honestly didn't expect you to teach me how to use this, Captain" she commented while looking down, to her own body and the belts around it, wanting to change the subject.
"Neither did I. But then I recalled the other kind of uses I gave to it, to move around fast" he admitted, contemplating her, and then held her chin with his right hand, to lift her head and meet her gaze as he let go. His eyes hardened "If the city's attacked while you're away from where you'll keep this, you must remove another from a corpse and put it on" he ordered, unhappy about the way she looked down for two seconds "I know you don't like it, but better get used to it because it's reality, Elia".
"I understand" she said, not wanting to picture the macabre scene as she observed the arrow he was offering now "I dislike the thought just as much as I hate this war but that won't make it go away, so I get it. And I'll do what I must" she promised and faced him again, glad to see his countenance had relaxed a little.
The healer took a deep breath, pointed to the target and let the arrow go swiftly, hitting one of the X he'd carved on the thing, where the creature's eyes were supposed to be. She exhaled, glad about her results; archery no longer seemed that complex since the day he taught her about postures and how to read her surroundings not to miss, although she knew things would get more difficult once the motion factor came into play.
"Why an eye?" he asked, adopting the kind of stance a teacher would have while evaluating a performance.
"Evidently, to blind it" she replied with certainty yet seeing a down-mouth expression in his face told her she'd made a mistake. Elia looked to the fake titan and realized what it was immediately after "I forgot to hit the other eye right after the first".
"That means you're probably dead… or someone else is" he said, unaffected by her widened eyes and the sting of pain in them. He didn't like those odds, but he knew saving someone else's life would motivate her far more than saving herself "You cannot forget that, especially when the damage is temporary, so you're only gaining a couple of minutes to either flee or assist a counterattack" he warned, seeing her nod "Their eyes, heels and nerves behind the knee are the best choices to immobilize your enemy and get some advantage".
"Is it impossible for me to try slicing the titan's nape all by myself?" she knew she wouldn't dare to do try unless someone else's life was endangered.
"Using the blades takes years of practice and you're still learning about balance, Elia. To cut that deep, speed, strength and precision are essential" he clarified, annoyed by the lack of time to teach her how to use them "So, I'd advise you against it but if you see no other way and you trust your abilities..." he made a pause in his search for the words "I'd be lying if I say things will go as expected, so it's your call to make".
"Don't worry. I may be headstrong, but not reckless" she assured, shooting one arrow, then the second immediately after. And she couldn't help a little smile when both nailed the right spots without problems.
"I damn hope so" he conceded, slightly gratified by her optimism as he used his gear to retrieve the arrows and also pushed the large object hanged from the tree branches, making it swing "Now, I want those shots in each eye before it stops moving" he commanded. His face showed no emotion, yet she still saw defiance glowing in his eyes.
With a snort of amusement, Elia stood upright and placed her feet shoulder-width apart, gripped the bow and nocked the arrow on it, making sure her finger was in the right position before drawing. By the time she aimed where the left eye would be and released, she knew she'd taken longer than she should. The healer saw the criticism in his eyes, but she inhaled deep to relax as she went for the next, missing the target by very little, so she tried again and made it, yet she wasn't happy with the result.
"Doubt is making you waste both time and your shot" he was standing beside her with his arms crossed, clearly irritated and dead serious "You're good with these, better than with the daggers, so stop hesitating. That's a luxury you cannot have" the man declared "Go on. Do it again" he commanded, expectant.
Levi observed the way she silently got more arrows and then came to stand beside him, seeing nothing but resoluteness in her concentrated expression, one that stated she wouldn't forget about self-confidence. So, despite his recent disgruntlement, he was pleased at how diligent and persistent she was, meaning it wouldn't be long before she mastered this.
As morning passed, so did their lessons, being the use of the gear the trickiest one because she wasn't such a big fan of speed. Elia managed to move around decently after three hours trying, yet she couldn't help how pale she got within every minute. Being dragged by the wires like that had made her incredibly dizzy; it was a fortune they hadn't eaten anything since early in the morning or the soldier would have seen all of it when she reached the ground and went behind some bushes to throw up.
"Here" he landed in front of her and offered a waterbag when he saw her standing straight and cleaning her mouth with a hanky "Drink slow".
She nodded and took a sip, then another and finally controlled her nauseas as best as she could with that and a breathing technique. Levi saw her closing her eyes for a couple seconds, and he pondered whether to continue the exercise or not. He was glad she did learn how to use the equipment, at least the basics to move around, but Elia was no soldier and though she'd clearly tried her best to keep up with his fast pace without a single complaint, her body's resistance was something else.
"Alright, Captain. I'm okay" she assured after bending a little and placed her hands on her knees, gulping once to prepare herself for more instructions "And I'm all ears" her breathing now sounded steady and the sweat on her forehead had vanished.
"You're not. We better chow down on something... Unless you think you won't be able to hold it inside your guts" he may had been relentlessly demanding yet that didn't mean he was an irresponsible douche; her body hadn't been trained like theirs, thus it could only take so much.
"I can take another hour, Levi" Elia insisted as she tried to hide her exhaustion but his ironic face told he knew better.
"Barely" he commented, observing her from head to toes and how dirty she was from the hours they'd spent there already "That attitude ain't smart, Elia. I get it, you wanna outdo yourself, but you're no soldier. I'm sure you know overexertion can lead to several unpleasant results; puking would be the least of them".
"I wish you hadn't seen that" she commented, standing up straight and slightly pouted in shame, storing her operating devices back inside the holsters.
"See what? Vomit?" he retorted sarcastically and got an offended sneer in return "Is not like I haven't seen someone strained, woman. And I'm sure, won't be the last. Don't forget my field isn't that different from yours sometimes; seeing or smelling people's fluids, even solids, is disgusting but still part of the job" he shrugged, undisturbed while she was the complete opposite "For what is worth, I saw nothing" even for vomiting, her good manners stood out; he couldn't remember anyone else having the decency of hiding to do that.
"Fine. I'll do as you say" she half smiled in defeat, knowing he was right "Thanks for the graphic account" she chuckled, and he shook his head as he turned, exasperated but relieved to see some color going back to her cheeks.
"I'll collect some wood" he informed, intending on using his gear so it took him a lot less "Go take a seat and have some more water in the meantime" Levi said, only half turning his head in her direction for a couple seconds.
"At your command, Captain!" the healer replied as he watched him go.
Just as she'd imagined, this lunch break was the perfect opportunity to keep on training her, or her brain to be more specific; setting out a bunch of hypothetical situations and challenges to test her wit and resourcefulness, which went pretty smoothly, even during the ones he confirmed she wouldn't prioritize her own life over others. She couldn't and wouldn't lie to him, even less when she knew the man was cut from the same cloth and comprehended her reasons although that didn't mean it made him happy or so said his hardened blue eyes in response. Nevertheless, the soldier knew there was nothing he could say to change her mind, her essence, and he wouldn't even try; at the end, that selfless side of her was among the many things he liked about the woman.
"We'll spend the last four hours here with the bow… mostly" he shared as he drank his hot beverage "You're getting good with it, so I'll push you into it harder".
"As long as you don't ask me to shoot you…" she joked at first, though her expression soon change to a scared one when he didn't dismiss her occurrence, keeping a steady eye contact and tightening his folded arms as a sign of confidence "You cannot be serious" she mumbled, visibly upset, and conflicted about this.
"You can't keep on shooting inanimate objects forever. A real moving target is the next step if you want to improve" the soldier explained and then ate what was left of his boiled potato.
"You could throw things in the air and make me hit those, you know" she offered, still concerned.
"That's a good idea to warm up but mine still stands" he stated, seeing the disapproval in her face.
"What if I hurt you?!" Elia protested, indignant.
"You wish you could" he mocked her before standing up and then turned to go get some water to rinse their mugs out. Still, her shock and disagreement had managed to move him a little but pushing her out of her comfort zone was necessary "I thought you believed in yourself"
"Is not that" she'd followed him and made him turn in her direction. The soldier saw true anguish in her gaze, but that wouldn't change his mind "The mission is just around the corner, Levi…"
"You won't hurt me" he assured, aware that his menacing eyes didn't work on her as they did on others when he demanded something, so a self-sufficient smirk was better to calm her anxiety and convince her "I move fast, Elia. And it's not like you're gonna ambush me, so nothing will happen. And if it remotely did, I can't think of anyone else better to tend me".
Her gray eyes were fixed in his, and she could tell he wasn't going to back down on the idea.
"Fine. We'll do it your way but if you're wrong, know I'll feel guilty enough to turn myself in" she warned, and her defiant stare told him she meant it.
All of a sudden, the relaxed expression disappeared, and she took two steps backwards, unable to move further when her back hit a tree. Her eyes opened wide, as an automatic response to seeing his dominant side walking towards her, invading her personal space to stand right in front of her with a predatory gleam in those blue eyes. Gulping nervously, she watched him put one hand on the tree behind her, leaving no space to escape. Not that she wanted to, but she'd certainly worked hard that day to meet his expectations and take his training serious, so the sneaky attack had taken her by surprise, especially when she felt his knuckle running down her cheek while he remained stony-faced, until a close-lipped smile showed up there when she felt the flush spreading over her face.
"Do it by all means" he dared her to try, raising one eyebrow, and getting even closer, so he could speak near her ear "I'm an officer of sorts, which means I could apprehend you... Put you in a cell… in solitary…" he whispered, sending shivers down her spine. She sensed him moving slowly to face her again, only really close "You'd beg me to punish you. I can see it in your eyes, Elia Stoltz".
The healer felt the warmth of his breath on her lips, but she was determined to resist and be a good student or she'd start daydreaming because she liked what he was saying. So, inhaling deep, she closed her eyes and tried her best to behave.
"Hmph" he was undoubtedly amused by her reaction "Remind me to reward you later for this discipline of yours" he said after grazing her jawline with his lips, almost putting her off her stride.
As unexpected as this started, it was soon over, and Elia was speechless. She couldn't bring herself to say a thing as she watched him moving away to gather their things and resume the lessons, as if nothing happened, when in reality, it'd been a trick to make her forget about her fear regarding the exercise. Which by the way, worked perfectly; she was too focused trying to collect her thoughts.
"You're playing with fire, Captain" she finally snapped out of her turmoil when he approached and handed the bow and quiver to her, ready to continue.
"Come on. We have work to do" he replied right before aiming one of his hooks to the top of the nearest tree the instant she grabbed them "I'll throw a couple things but once we're done with that, I want you to aim to my chest" he instructed "Believe me, I'll know if you don't" then warned.
Elia simply shook her head in defeat, well aware that he'd returned to his Captain Levi state, rigorous and determined to see this through before sundown fell upon them. Hadn't she been getting her arrows ready, she might have witnessed the half-sided smile he gave away from up there.
A lesson learned is a lesson earned, Elia, he said to her in his mind, proud to see she comprehended he believed her ready for something this big, and above all, that she trusted him this much, or she wouldn't have agreed to it in the end. And though she wasn't a pro, the woman indeed had worked quite hard to be capable enough, something that managed to sooth his spirit. Those were his thoughts as he contemplated her, admiring that fierce commitment and determination in her stance and gaze, especially now that she was resembling her younger sister, or the image of her around a year ago and the bravery that got his attention in the first place. It was curious to see how different and yet how alike they were, so curious that it both amazed and amused him. Guess that's how siblings are... some of them, he corrected himself, recalling the healer's infinite love for her and the fact that her whole family had been inclined to get to know him because of the girl. He had no idea if such meeting would have come to pass. Hell, he honestly doubted accepting the invitation but stubborness ran through her veins too, so who knew. The only thing he got for certain was that even if it did, his path and Elia's never would have truly entwined this deep, considering time and the war around them. I'm sorry, soldier... as the selfish bastard he was, he could only ask to the young sister's memory for forgiveness, because the hell she went through was the door to a little piece of heaven he never dreamed of.
A lot has been going on lately, but I hope I could make it up to you with this chapter, centered in trust rather than romance.
Namárië