CHAPTER XXXVII
Clockwork Part 3
Having barely opened her eyes and with no need of turning to her left, Elia noticed he'd left already. She was certain because her body somehow knew how to recognize his presence nearby; maybe it was the inviting heat generated by his organism, or the soothing sound of his breathing and steady heartbeat, or maybe that unique sort of vibrating energy resonating with hers and heightening the invisible connection between them, or even the constant butterflies in her stomach; she couldn't tell for sure. Perhaps every one of those details were part of the same sensation when he was around, but that was currently absent, just like him. He wasn't even in her home anymore; whenever Levi stayed the whole night there, he usually headed to the bathroom after putting water to boil, for the first two cups of tea of the day, yet now all she could perceive was absolutely nothing.
You'd foreseen it'd be like this, her inner self reminded; it was one of things she'd been mulling over shortly after coming back from the bathroom to lay beside one fast asleep Captain Levi. And though it didn't make it any less difficult, she still held on to her faith in them; that was her sole chance to keep the hope of seeing them return alive. They'll be alright, she said to herself as she turned to lay on her back and automatically covered her eyes with her forearm, protecting them from the sunlight coming through the window, despite the dark-grey curtains.
"Ouch" she complained with a grin, unable to help snorting of amusement.
They haven't had such ardent night ever since those first encounters, when they spent hours getting to physically know each other, wishing to placate their necessity for one another. No wonder why you're so sore, woman! Her mind mocked, even giggled at her in view of the current state of her body, where her legs were certainly the most affected. Still, it was a type of pain she happily embraced, because it was a very nice reminder of all what they did in one of the best nights of their lives.
Come on. You must get up, Elia, she commanded herself, moving her arm away from her face as she blinked several times before turning her head to the nightstand and glanced at the time, surprised to see it was almost eight in the morning, which was rather unusual for her but since it was her day off and had no obligations, she'd try to relax.
Sighing resolutely, the healer stretched out and sat up straight on her bed before giving one look around, giving away a placid, jolly smile when she noted the long skirt, blouse, and bra, all neatly folded onto the chair in the corner; the same outfit he'd labeled as fancy, yet ended up liking it because of the ideas they inspired. Go on and put something on to start your day, her inner voice told and her eyes located her dressing gown hanging on the back of the chair, so she quickly got up to get it.
"You knew I'd launder all these, Captain" the woman muttered as she admired the room they shared, back to its tidy state; the bed where she'd been sleeping was the only spot his hands hadn't touched, evidently not to wake her.
The healer closed her eyes for a bit, easily picturing him doing all that while being careful. What she very much doubted was him standing quietly inside the place, contemplating her to prolong the moment, or having second thoughts about his mission. No, she said. Levi isn't like that, and she wouldn't have wanted him to act like that for it'd only make things harder.
That's right, woman. Besides, I'm no fucking psychopath, and it wouldn't change a damn thing so what's the point? She suddenly heard his voice in her head, perceiving both, his critical tone and characteristic pragmatism. Just rip off the bandage quick and without hesitation; it's less annoying that way… the Levi in her head stated and she couldn't help half smiling as she tied the wrapping belt around her waist. That's more like him, she said to herself, appreciating the bond they had even more, because it allowed her to know for certain what he might think or say about something, and that was a good guide for every decision-making. But the best was that it helped her feeling him closer, which at the same time made his absence more bearable, especially now.
The healer turned around and looked to her bed, to the left side, where he usually slept, the same her feet were dragging her to. As she took a seat on the edge, Elia slid her hand over the mattress, till reaching his pillow and a soft sigh escaped her when her fingers got hold of it to pull it closer. Unable to restrain herself, she closed her eyes and hugged the fluffy object with both arms as she buried her face in it, searching for his unique, attractive scent; a mix of soap, black tea, and sweat that fortunately, was still impregnated there, as it sure was in her sheets, combined with her own, the one he much liked.
Elia, you're not ripping the damned bandage off. Not to mention that it's not hygienic and you know it… the soldier's voice reprimanded, and given her eyes were still closed, she got to see that frowny and impatient look very clearly, to what she responded with a serene, cheerful expression. Go on, put all that away to wash, the stern face of the man she loved urged, and she simply chuckled as she obeyed, because he was just as bossy and adorable in her imagination.
"On my way, Captain" she said and opened her eyes before leaving the thing aside and then walked to her dresser, in need of a hairband.
After throwing her hair in a ponytail and without further delay, the healer fetched the hamper from her small storage room and started collecting everything that according to her standards, and his specially, needed to be washed. Once that was ready, she undrew the curtains and opened her bedroom's window wide to ventilate the place while she carried the dirty clothes' container to the bathroom and left it next to the tub to do the laundry, making a mental note on also getting a little bucket for the skirt, to prevent it from staining her bedclothes, shirt, and underwear, except of course, for the panties he tore apart.
Foreseeing she'd considerably perspire while doing some chores, Elia decided to take her bath after finishing. Laundry, sweeping, waxing, and buffing the floor, put clean sheets on the bed… she listed in her head as she headed to the kitchen, where she filled a big pot with water along with some extra in the kettle. In the waiting for them to boil, she grabbed a bar of soap from her cleaning supplies, under the kitchen sink, and went back to the bathroom, to grate the detergent inside the two containers, using half of it for the tub and a smaller piece for the bucket; a technique Levi had taught her after seeing the amount of time it took her to scrub the clothes with the very bar on the washboard for over two hours. Leave the clothes to soak for an hour in soapy, hot water. It's more effective and less tiresome, he'd assured during one of those first times helping her clean her new home, after the beginning of their relationship; certainly one piece of advice that had been incredibly valuable.
As soon as she finished part one of the process, the healer waited for the whistle that'd indicate the water was ready, so when it did and with extreme care, she carried it to the bathroom and poured it inside both containers, filling them until the water-line reached the middle of each, and noting the soap had almost dissolved immediately. Still, with the help of a wooden stick, she stirred the contents until it was bubbly enough to dip the clothes in, to later scrubbing and rinsing them out. That'd give her plenty of time to move on to the next task.
Having swept the floor in her bedroom, Elia then started waxing it, knowing the rest of her place was impeccable but this would require drying time before being able to tend the bed with clean sheets and finally buff the surface. She'd been so focused on organizing everything that she got startled by a sudden rumbling that came from her guts.
Breakfast, now! his voice ordered, not happy that she'd neglected herself by ignoring the void in the pit of her stomach this whole time, reminding her it's been over twelve hours without consuming any food; a very irresponsible action and nothing like her. Yeah, and you're also famished because of that mind-blowing performance, so go grab a bite at once, woman… the instant she heard that, she chortled and made a pause to obey.
By the time the kettle was back on the stove, she looked through every container but what little she had wasn't really breakfast material, unless she felt like having onions that early. Although her kitchen always was well provided, there wasn't much in her food storage currently, all because she'd planned on going to the market this very day to get fresh stuff.
Always think ahead and be ready for the worst. You can't afford relying on having much time, Elia... Water, bread, cheese, and boiled eggs are your best choices in case of evac, the soldier had advised not long ago as he shared the basics to feed decently, and that helped her resolve the dilemma. It was a fortune she'd bought half a dozen of eggs on her way home the previous day and only used three before dinner; vitamins and protein-rich, they were ideal for the occasion. So, fetching a pan and those three remaining eggs, she left them on the table where they'd await their turn; scrambled eggs grew cold quick, thus, having ready her morning tea beforehand was the smartest choice. What she did in the meanwhile was gathering in her tray the last slice of bread she had, the cutlery and a couple other things necessary to set the table, and then walked outside the kitchen carrying them. It was at that moment the healer finally allowed herself to think of something she'd purposely avoided since waking up; perhaps out of anxiety, or fear, or simply not wanting to get her hopes high, but now that she was getting closer, it was impossible not to. She'd never done anything like it before, that's why she had no idea if he'd accept it, even less if Levi considered it was too much, or just not having more space in his bag. If he actually noticed before leaving, girl… well, that was also possible.
Just look! Her inner self commanded when she'd been about to avert her eyes from the table, or more specifically, from the spot where he always took a seat, in front of her. The second she did, the knot in her stomach disappeared, just like the small package she'd left there over night, when she'd been preparing the infusion to help him sleep; a small present she'd hoped, would be useful. You're not going blind now, aren't you? her mind mocked her, because there was now something else instead, on the same spot. Something that caught her attention because Levi seldom used them thanks to his outstanding sense of sight, and also the fact that he knew the place so well that he could move around blindfolded.
Taking an unconscious, deep breath as she left what her hands carried, on the wooden surface, Elia reached out and grabbed one of the titan crystals he'd given to her, the same she always kept on her bedside table, next to her father's pocket watch. As soon as she lifted it up, she found herself quite surprised with an unexpected something, hidden under it: a piece of paper that was about half the size of her thumb out of the several times he folded it.
Dumbfounded, the healer stared at it for what seemed like a very long time, just trying to assimilate what her eyes could not yet convince her of, wondering what she'd find there. Seriously, this hardly helps if you really want to know so stop beating about the bush and read it! I beg you! her own voice yelled in exasperation, dying to find out.
Mustering up the courage needed, the woman shook her head to get on with it. Her hand got a hold of the item and her fingers hurriedly started unfolding it, until the piece of paper was completely opened out. It was then her expression went from skepticism and nervousness to a smiley, radiant one when she saw his handwriting; that print writing style, with sharp and pointy, not too big nor too small letters, and not ever slanting or squeezing his words together.
.
I'll be swamped with shit to give a damn about the troublesome brat; might not even see him.
You know, I didn't expect to find this but cannot say I'm surprised. It's excessive, Elia, and your cheeky self knows it. That's the reason you avoided me last night, when I asked about the nice smell around, wasn't it? Clever move. I'll give you that.
Elia's smile broadened as she read between the lines, seeing he left without breaking the 24 hours-promise: not to overthink or argue. She could even hear that usual exclamation of his, implying irritation but also his amusement at her witticism constantly defying him. And of course, she appreciated the fact that he'd spare the boy; the soldier could be excessively stringent but never a cruel, unjust man.
In case you're wondering, I got to sleep for almost six hours straight and I feel just like new. That hadn't happened in many years, if it ever did, so your meds definitely worked, although I'm certain the extra one helped a lot as well.
Thank you.
L.
.
She read the note at least three times, imagining that serious and wary but also curious countenance of his when he noticed the package onto the table, how wound-up he sure was over its size, and the look of resignation before one last huff in acceptance. Thank you, his voice echoed in her mind, and she was so happy to learn he'd felt well rested, knowing it wasn't a lie; Levi couldn't care less about making others feel better with a lie, and on another hand, something in the back of her head told Elia those two words at the bottom weren't just for helping him sleep but far more than that.
Her eyes darted to his seat, where he'd been sitting around twelve hours ago, talking as they often did, and she could only hope her words back then about his best friend, would somehow ease his spirit.
They have; otherwise, he wouldn't have trusted you with his anger, sadness, and frustration over it, even less his helplessness to change the Commander's fate… her heart told, reminding her of how attentively he'd listened to every word, accepting her arguments, and embracing her affection as if they were the most precious thing he had; at least that's how he made her feel.
Elia had been thinking about that when one familiar whistle startled her, kind of making her lose the train of thought.
Yeah, go eat now! with a joyful smile, she left the note on the table and went back to the kitchen, ready to prepare three tasty, scrambled eggs. Thirty minutes later and having just finished enjoying a filling breakfast, the healer looked across the table, to where the note was, still somewhat astounded; so much that her hand actually picked it up once again to make sure this wasn't a hallucination. As she reread it, another smile showed on her face at the realization that it was as brief and concise as its very author; the man she might not see again.
Ride up north as soon as evac is announced. It's where you may have the best chance. The land and weather are a pain in the ass and that's probably why they've never attacked from that position. And Elia, above all, waste no time to cry. I don't wish you to join me in death too soon, but if you must, then do so fighting… those had been his words during the ride back to the city after their last training session, where he'd instructed what to do if Trost received bad news, urging her to stand and survive if she had the chance.
To see me in hell... she mused to herself, while stirring what was left of her second cup, thinking about the last couple of things they said to each other.
"If that's where we're going, so be it as long as I'm by your side, Levi" the woman chose as she turned her eyes to the sky outside her window, still holding his message "Though I truly doubt someone like you is destined to go there in the first place" she said, as if he were there. It's what she'd wanted to tell him last night, only she couldn't bring herself to it because he'd refuse to believe it, as always.
"All elevators are operating at peak performance, sir" his assistant informed as soon as he entered the office "We're currently halfway through the moving of our mounts and weaponry".
"Estimated time to complete the task?
"An hour, sir. Everything's going according to plan" the young man replied, keeping his hands behind his back as he addressed him with professionalism "Your uniform awaits ready in the dressing rooms, and your ODM gear at the equipment room".
"Thank you, Nicholas" the Commander replied, giving a quick glance to the clock on the wall "The briefing at the Garrison's HQ was set to begin in two and a half hours. I trust you to coordinate having our transport ready".
"The cart in charge of taking you and the other high-ranked officers will stand by at the main gate, ready by 1600 hrs., sir. The remaining transports are for the rest of the troops, to wait for your arrival on top of the wall".
With a smile of satisfaction, Erwin closed his notes and walked to stand in front of the man who had been working with him for almost a year.
"I remember the first time you entered this office, the nervous look on your face…" he said, with his most solemn tone "It is good to see you've grown much more confident, Nicholas. And not only as a soldier" the blond tilted his head at him; a gesture that was full of respect, gratitude, and pride.
"It's been nothing but an honor, sir" the man bowed his thanks to him, somewhat self-conscious after such deference "I hope to keep serving you until my last day, Commander".
"The honor is mine" Erwin placed his palm on his right shoulder and stared at him stern but sincere "I know my instructions were surprising, but as you well know, I won't be having a direct group under my lead this time. That's why I temporarily appointed you to Hange's".
"I understand, sir" the soldier replied, nodding once before lowering his head in acknowledgement though his superior wasn't oblivious to the hint of sadness there, surely fearing the same as Levi "I won't let you down".
"I know so" the blond said with utter conviction, and a reassuring squeeze of his shoulder before lowering his arm, managing to pass some morale on the soldier, at least enough to see hope in his expression.
"Is there anything else I can be of assistance to you?" he inquired, adopting once again his most proper demeanor in his presence.
"Other than your help to gear up later, no" said the Commander, estimating how long it'd take him to shower and get dress "I'll meet you at the equipment room in an hour" he informed, considering all matters settled.
"Roger, sir. I'll be right there" the officer assured, nodding one last time "With your permission" standing very straight, the young man placed his right fist on his heart facing upwards to salute him, and then turned to leave.
After watching him disappear behind the umber double door, the blond gave a look all around the office, as if he could contemplate the three years dedicated to lead these people, the important events he'd discussed there with people he fully trusted and others he did not, aware that the majority weren't alive anymore. At least those two are still around… his mind said with optimism, though he'd barely seen them that day.
Hange had been incredibly busy with everything concerning the new weaponry, supervising the correct handling of it throughout every step, as it was happening now that they were being moved to the other side of the wall, where she'd make sure they were in perfect conditions for the long ride. See ya at HQ, Erwin! she promised that morning, over breakfast. Instance in which he actually got to see his other friend as well, although considerably earlier.
Like the morning person he was, it hadn't been weird to find him in the mess hall all by himself, absolutely focused on his porridge, and not bothering on looking up at him when his steps were loud enough to gather, he was moving towards his table. Upset or not, you have to smooth things over, his inner self emphasized, to know if this would be a problem later; he couldn't take the risk of Levi disobeying in an attempt to save him or something. He'd even disregard the bafflement of seeing him wearing the same clothes from last night, which Levi had been extremely careful about, just to conceal his personal life. Until now.
By the time he took a seat at the opposite chair and peeped up at him while he placed his tray on the wooden surface, Erwin noticed a change in his demeanor because he didn't seem half as hopping mad as the day before. Still, he needed to make sure, so he'd start by explaining his numerous reasons not to stay, yet surprisingly, it hadn't been necessary because the soldier had instantly cut him off when he realized his intention.
"Save it. It was shitty and out of place of me to make a blunder at this point. Caring… I forgot that's a luxury we soldiers don't have" he'd said, making a tiny pause to take deep breath and stare back at him "You must go, it's your duty after all. And I've decided I won't worry about it unless it happens".
Right after that, he went back to his breakfast and so did he, comprehending this was him apologizing for his previous attitude, assuring he'd abide whatever he decided, even if it led to his own death, because he trusted his judgement. Nevertheless, and despite he wasn't in a bad mood, it didn't seem too inclined to keep talking, and he understood why; leaving wasn't easy but like the committed soldier he was, Levi could never choose his own happiness over his duty.
You won't have to the day this is over, my friend, he said to him on the inside as he discreetly watched him eat, glad to see there was no regret or sadness in there but tranquility and thoughtfulness, things he knew, were linked to that person, the same that wholeheartedly supported what they did. And she's probably the one I should thank for this, his inner voice teased, suspecting she managed to appease Levi's spirit.
And now, hours later and as he approached his desk, the Commander grabbed his journal and put it inside his travel bag, the one he would come back for before leaving, and without further delay, he headed to the showers, never once considering possible to be greeted so eagerly by several other officers along the way. Most of them were ready for action but what truly stood out was their respect and admiration towards him, no reticence, no accusation, anger or mistrust; those eyes even lacked fear, and if there was any, it wasn't the kind he was used to on a day like this. On the contrary, there was enthusiasm for what lied ahead, for the future they'd build, and that was a miracle; to see his soldiers would follow him with hope, after so much death, turned out to be the very peace of mind he necessitated.
Having finished showering, the blond returned to his locker where he dressed with clean underwear, white pants, a tank top shirt of the same color and put on the boots before taking a sit on the wooden seats in front, to wait a couple minutes for his turn to use the sinks; it may be not much, but the stubble covering his chin had to be gone. It was then, while he towel-dried his hair, that he saw his friend walking to his own locker, not far from his. And though he sure took a bath after breakfast, the clothes he had on him now, wrinkled and somewhat sweaty, showed how busy he'd been, surely not wanting to give himself time to think.
It was unlikely he hadn't seen him but given the soldier could be as talkative as in the morning, Erwin thought best to let him be, reason why he purposely ignored whatever he did after opening his compartment.
"The brat just said I should be ready at the entrance by 4PM" he suddenly heard, so he looked up and found his friend had turned in his direction, shirtless and barefoot while carrying a towel around his shoulder.
"That's correct. Most of our horses will be on the other side by then, so we'll be taking a cart" he corroborated, not really buying his comrade had forgotten such details. It felt more like Levi trying some small talk to break the ice.
"Understood" the Captain said and turned to get something else.
He saw him retrieving a small bag from his locker, which he knew, contained a bar of soap and other items, such as his toothbrush and comb. Surprisingly, the instant he thought this was it, his friend started talking once again.
"Hope you don't mind taking him with us" he said as he turned and pushed the door with his feet "I cannot trust the brat not to flee from here while we're leaving. He knows we won't have the time for bullshit, and since we're not coming back here after the meeting… Pixis could lock him in a cell or something if he tries anything".
"That's hardly necessary" he uttered, believing the kid wouldn't forget about their conversation.
"Who knows" the Captain muttered, hiding whatever emotion there "In any case, Mr. Braus mentioned he'd be close to the elevators to see Sasha off, so I'll tell him where to find him then" Levi explained.
"You're still mad at him?"
"The man came to town to fetch him. I don't care him saying it was alright 'cause he had other business to attend in the meantime; his bloody time is still valuable" the soldier stated, giving one brief annoyed glare towards the door "I tell ya… the only reason he got away with it is due to the mission. That, and eluding me until now".
"I understand, Levi" the blonde said with a thoughtful expression, seeing his point.
"How the hell he's gonna handle him from now on is beyond me… I warned him though, to better be prepared".
Erwin couldn't help a snort but soon disguised it with some coughing. It was surprising to see the boy managed to slip away without suffering consequences, specially at how pissed his friend had been because of his decision to go.
"He won't try anything" Erwin guaranteed, and that earned him a suspicious look "He knows he did wrong, that's why he stayed out of your sight, but Nicholas saw him giving a hand to your squad most of the day".
The soldier grumbled exasperated, squinting his eyes for a moment, as if he'd just realized about something, probably that his own team had been helping him hide.
"I daresay he just wanted to spend some more time in here".
"What for?"
"He ended up getting attached, enough to care about us" the man shared with a quiet but still honest smile "Even you, Levi".
"Irrelevant. He's free to hate me all he wants as long as that smarty ass attitude and bad habits are gone" the soldier declared, and Erwin knew he was telling the truth; that had been his goal. But he still wanted to vouch for the kid in case he tried to approach him later.
"Last night, when I was on my way back to the office, I found him wandering nearby" he started saying, noting Levi tensed a little, preparing for what came next "At first he refused to say much but after a couple minutes, he went to my office and told me he wanted to talk to you" sharing that the lad had looked in his bedroom was too much.
"And what did he want?" this time he undoubtedly got on the defensive; Levi clearly wanted to go unnoticed whenever he disappeared at night or during some of his days off "I remember well telling him that he wouldn't go with us".
"Judging by his prideful, sulky expression when I found him by the stairs, I figured it wasn't about that".
"Beats me then" Levi admitted, unable to imagine the real issue.
"I think he wanted to say goodbye to you properly" the blond resumed, considering much unnecessary to explain to his friend that aside from that, the boy named Ted wanted to understand why he helped him; it wasn't something Levi would ever answer.
"Tch" the soldier scoffed, clearly doubting such thing, but then he once again seemed to recall on something, for he distractedly took his hand to his chin, like he usually did when concentrated. "Guess that gives more sense to what he said a while ago, when he hissed at me not to let myself get killed".
"It does" Erwin nodded, understanding that exchange would be the farthest these two would possibly go, but it was still something "And proves my point for every time I insisted you not to take for granted what others see in you, my friend".
He saw him rolling his eyes before turning to head outside and concluding the chatting, shaking his head in disbelief though it felt more like him avoiding such topic. The reaction was an improvement, considering he usually contradicted such statement, which he wouldn't dare to now, not when he was aware of the best example to prove it, one with gray eyes, and Levi knew it.
Inhaling deep and breathing out relaxed, he felt so much better and lighter to see he truly meant what he'd said hours ago, because he honestly understood, respected, and supported his decision now. So, full of gratitude and optimism, and in view that it'd soon be his turn, he got up when his hair stopped dripping, and move to his compartment to get his razor and comb. Nonetheless, in the hurry to get both, the razor slip through his fingers and fell to the floor, near his left foot. Ambidextrous and all, you're not free from occasional clumsiness, his inner self pointed out as he put the bronze toothed strip used to arrange his hair in his pocket and sighed exasperated before crouching down to pick the other object up. What he hadn't expected then was to notice a rolled up, small piece of paper close by, right below the edge of the lockers; easy for him to see thanks to his current position and surely why no other saw it before.
This sure belongs to someone in here, he thought, picking it up along with the tiny blade, and giving a glance around to see if there was anyone looking for it but that wasn't the case. Problem was that considering how highly-trafficked the place had been over the past hour, it was hard to figure who it belonged to without prying into the message, for it was clearly that; countless times he'd seen people doing that instead of folding them, a rather polite, even elegant, style.
You won't be able to give it back if you don't open it so… unfortunately, that was very true, so it was either that or leave it at plain sight for the owner claim, though it seemed that person hadn't even realized it was missing, unless it wasn't that important. Read it or leave it! the voice in his head pressed on him, to what he just started unrolling it after leaving the razor onto the metallic compartment.
Little did he know he'd end up standing there, unable to turn his eyes away from each word, too stunned as soon as he recognized the calligraphy, knowing to whom this was for despite the lack of salutation.
.
Don't be too hard on the kid. You've mentioned seeing him progress since his arrival, so try to keep that in mind. He sure has a reason for what he did.
As for what you just found… that's a family size walnut bread. Thought you might like it because it's not too sweet but caloric enough to keep you from starving for hours. The nuts in the small bag will come in handy if you don't have much time. We just discussed how important sleeping is, and so is feeding yourself, okay?
Good luck to you all, Captain.
E.
.
Nothing. There was absolutely nothing compromising in it, no words of love, no promises, not even their names written down, probably in case this fell on the wrong hands, and yet he couldn't help controlling the heat creeping up to his face, knowing he was blushing at the level of intimacy in the bond they shared. Something no other there could possibly guess, because if anything, the message was strictly friendly, but he knew who wrote it, knew the person it was addressed to, and he also knew about the closeness between them.
He looked at the note again but did not read it a second time. He quickly rolled it back, exactly to its previous state, and discreetly moved to Levi's locker, where he put the small scroll through the upper set of ventilation louvers, immensely relieved to see it worked; he just couldn't picture himself giving that back to him, not because he had any trouble to talk about her with him, but because that letter was only meant for him, thus, Levi would know he read it. And he'd certainly get pissed, not at him but himself for being sloppy; he probably left that inside in the morning, when he got a shower and changed, to take it with him now, but the almost weightless item flew away with the airflow caused by the door being closed.
"Commander, sir… Are you alright?" the worried tone in one of his subordinates brought him back to present "Umm, I just finished using the sink. Thought you were waiting for it".
"Indeed, I am" he slightly shook his head to collect himself and gave one grateful nod at the young man before fetching his hand towel.
As he shaved, the blond couldn't help thinking about the message. Not ever morbidly, but somehow feeling even lighter that before, probably because it was a true relief to see his friend had found a soul as strong as his, one so pure and kindhearted that also was so empathetic of others. The present she'd prepared… that was one gesture so full of the deepest affection towards him, something more valuable than riches because it was love, and that was everlasting. And to see someone caring for his friend that way made him happy.
You're lucky Hange hadn't found it, Levi… he thought, amused to imagine that scenario and his friend's euphoria at this revelation, for she sure would have put two and to together, very easily. Actually, picturing the brunette's reaction was so entertaining that he soon found his reflection in the mirror half smiling at him, surprisingly hoping for a chance to witness such moment with his own eyes, despite knowing it to be impossible. Because you have other dream… his inner self reminded, making him turn, only to find the many faces that'd help him see it through. Just one more day, one more battle, and you'll finally know… this was his sole desire and obsession, the same that vanished the cheerful expression from seconds ago, depriving him from anything else that wasn't that. A truth he had sought most of his life, a truth he'd undoubtedly die for but thankfully, his two friends were free from it.
As he wandered from the southern edge to the northern one of that Wall, watching a couple of small groups using the elevators to move the final cargo for the mission, those horrible hypercaloric crackers, he couldn't help but question his volunteering to be part of the security detachments. Regardless he no longer had the same viewpoints after the Reiss incident, that didn't mean he fully agreed with their methods nor vehemently believed in this division. But Trost citizens have, he thought while observing them gather on the streets below, apparently awaiting to the official departure of the Survey Corps.
Doesn't matter. Retracting on this isn't an option now, you fool, his inner self retorted, reminding he'd offered to be part of the eight MP teams guarding the west and east wing of the wall while the Garrison's protected their mounts and cargo, just to keep himself busy and not give in to his wish of seeing Elia. He knew he had to fall out of love with her, he really did, but that wasn't like choosing what to wear or what to eat; he even hated his damned head for thinking about her on this day, wondering how she was now that HE was going to leave and may never return because, in view of the current situation, that was quite a possible outcome.
Over the past three months, the entire militia had been strengthening their relations, working on transparency, commitment and one common goal: the survival of mankind. That's how they knew the truth people ignored about this mission, that they were going to reclaim Shiganshina, to fight for it and not just exterminate regular titans, seal the breaches, and find some answers. Even in the eventual case of succeeding, there would be a price to pay with lives. Conversely, if they were to fail, that meant the responsibility of protecting everyone inside the walls would fall upon them, which frankly, wasn't a good prospect; liked it or not, there were no better soldiers than these reckless dumbasses with the Wings of Freedom on their backs, the same that weren't even nervous to leave. You'd have been among them proudly, wouldn't you, Ilva? he said on the inside as he saw nothing but determination and willingness in the many soldiers about five hundred feet away from them, waiting for their Commander and rest of leaders, amongst the ones that man should be.
"Hey, Garrett" he suddenly heard a voice coming from the front line, where his partner had been sitting on one of the cannons, slacking around as he usually did; not a pleasant company, and to top it all off, the guy thought he liked him "What time is it? I'm starving".
Miles. The same rascal Elia had argued with long ago because he didn't allow her to tend Commander Erwin, and for what he earned her utter despise. He only managed to save his neck from the purge because he was a nobody, whose most significant offense was being a total idler that had been promoted by influences he no longer had, therefore, the guy now had to justify his second chance by actually working.
"Five minutes to six" he replied somewhat tiredly after checking his watch. He then looked at the sky with a couple fluffy clouds moving slowly, and that mild yellowish light coming through them as the sun was beginning to set "Why don't you ask for one of those crackers? I can see a couple guys having some. I'm sure they wouldn't deny you one" Garrett said, gesturing with his head towards a couple groups.
"Ugh, no way, bro! You want me to puke here?" the idiot said and made a face when his eyes caught sight of those Corps gobbling them up "Once they're gone, do you think we may be able to sneak out of here sooner? Two hours earlier is no big deal, and nothing will happen anyways".
"If you wanna try, it's up to you, man. I'll stay to cover our post but I'm afraid I can't promise the others not giving you away if they see me alone" he said, plainly letting him know he'd do his job, with or without him. Sadly, Miles wasn't smart enough to understand he wouldn't lift a finger to help him.
"Argh, you're right" the guy reluctantly accepted, surely remembering a couple grudges he had with some of those he used to bully "Guess I'll just stay then" he shrugged in defeat, but then stared at him with curiosity "Why did you volunteer man? I was pretty much forced to be here, but the leader said you were one of the few appointing themselves".
"No reason except I was bored" he replied, imitating the shoulder gesture. It may not be the whole truth, but it wasn't a lie either; he needed to kill time and not be home where his mother would keep asking him why he seemed low sometimes, or worse, ask about her every now and then, just because he hadn't brought himself to tell her what happened.
"It's not like we're doing much" his colleague joked and tapped the controls of his maneuvering gear with an idiotic grin and then glanced down, to the field where more than one hundred horses awaited "The couple titans we've spotted were killed by Baldy's people" he said, gesturing towards Pixis' forces guarding the perimeter.
Because they don't trust us to do the job right, you idiot! he snapped internally. It wasn't surprising to see he just didn't get reality nor that this no longer was a battle of egos. But hey, just like his father used to say, stupid people had no clue they were this absurd, the only problem was how annoying they were to those around them. In any case, he doubted Miles had been listening when Commander Nile explained their job was observation, to give the alert whenever a titan was spotted, and provide support if needed. A job they'd continue to perform after the Corps departure because nobody knew what would happen afterwards; that's why both Garrison and MPs would be taking turns night and day, till hearing from them.
"True, but we get paid for it either way" he reminded him, well aware of how much the guy liked money "Besides, the view from here is not bad".
"Hell yeah! That's the main reason I'm not complaining" Miles said with a smirk before hopping off the cannon and walked towards the northern edge, oblivious to him rolling his eyes in exasperation "Hey man, come here! Look who finally decided to show up".
He knew because he'd been staring to the troops, and all formed the instant he heard the growing noise, murmurs coming from the city. Still, he went to stand beside his companion, noting the way everybody's eyes followed one big cart with much interest, and even decided to walk behind it down the avenue until the transport entered the military designated area, where the vehicle stopped close to the elevators. The first to come down was Commander Erwin, followed by the rest of high-ranked officers, including the one he couldn't stand. As the group exchanged a couple words before getting onto the lifts that'd take them to the top, civilians have kept gathering together to see them leave, some of them even climbed to the rooftops to wave their goodbyes.
"Take back Wall Maria for us! The future of humanity is in your hands!" he got to listen while the officers ascended. He'd been hearing some folk yelling things at them but apparently not loud enough to understand, until now. And the absence of hostility was indeed quite a thing, confirming how much people's perspective of them had changed.
"Can you believe it?" Miles scoffed with disdain, making him lose his train of thought. He stared at him and saw the disapproving shaking of his head "Treating them like heroes when they haven't accomplished shit yet" he said derisively at the population that used to hate them "What a bunch of suck ups… What happened to asking for their heads? I was waiting for it!" once again, he complaint, though this time full of resentment "They're practically kissing them goodbye!"
"They don't seem to believe either" he commented, tilting his head in the officers' direction now that they'd just set foot on the wall while the rest of their soldiers stared down, to the people, and beyond a doubt, flabbergasted "Except for that douche not giving a crap".
Too late he realized he voiced what went through his mind when his eyes set on him. He couldn't help his rage at the stolid expression on the insufferable bastard's face, not even remotely thrilled to hear his stupid name being called out and cheered by these people placing their hopes and good wishes on him and his comrades… Man, he loathed him!
Uh huh, but even when most of your people dislike him, you can't allow this idiot to see how personal your grudge is, dummy, his head warned.
"That asshole... so full of himself because of his darned inhuman skills" his colleague commented after taking a look at the large group of soldiers "If it wasn't for that, no one would pay the slightest attention to him".
"Aye" he muttered, just for the sake of saying something, careful not to give anything else away. So he averted his eyes back to the group, and with discretion at that man, wishing that were true, at least to justify his jealousy and frustration to know Elia liked him, and it had nothing to do with his abilities.
"Should we go down and tell them to shut up?" Miles inquired as both turned to stare to the people below, who instead of quieting down and leave, were getting louder and plenty more have joined while the Commander and his soldiers discussed something as they stood by the edge of the wall, visibly in disbelief.
"Nah, let them have it" he turned to him and answered with apathy "This will hardly repeat in the future anyways" the young man added, downplaying the situation, so the idiot abandoned such disrespectful idea.
The minute he saw the nod in agreement and Miles not staring at him, Garrett Holt just couldn't help checking on that subject he hated and the demeanor that showed no emotions whatsoever, positive, or negative. There was nothing there, nothing that led him to believe he cared about her. He wasn't even trying to find her in the crowd. Elia... his inner self mumbled as he did instead, wondering if she was amongst the civilians; he had no idea if her shifts had changed. But as soon as he realized what he was doing, the young man repressed himself and looked away because he didn't want to see her there. Unexpectedly, he heard a sudden war cry coming from the Corps and when he looked in that direction, saw three young soldiers shouting at the top of their lungs, while the people yelled supportively in return.
Most of scouts' eyes moved to those three, astonished at such turn of events whereas the rest exchanged looks of utter confusion, but it was at that precise moment a louder and mightier battle-cry was heard, one that got the crowd roaring enthusiastically in response. It was then he finally witnessed some human emotion in that impassive face, as surprised as the rest of the officers to see his friend and leader shouting like this and receiving a thunderous cheering like never before; it was so encouraging that many of his forces joined immediately after, because this was indeed, a great morale-booster to all.
"I keep asking myself how the hell does he live with himself when it seems he doesn't like to have fun, man" his colleague pointed out when they saw the Captain not even joining the general revelry.
"Who knows…" was all he said, trying not to think about that because he partly knew the answer. What he didn't know was that he'd get to see something else in that face for a fraction of two seconds before the man turned around and walked firmly towards the southern elevators. A detail that at least made him hate him less: pain.
"Maybe you're aware of this but I once heard he's related to the guy that used to run the Internal Police? The one that died during the monarchy's incident" Miles let slip and smiled self-sufficiently when he saw that had shocked him.
"Internal Police? You mean Kenny Ackerman?"
"Bingo!" Garrett's eyes widened in surprise. It was insane and at the same time it made so much sense "Apparently, he's his son".
Son? Is he? he wondered, and that helped him recall the familiarity with which he heard them talk that day at the bar, not to mention them sharing that monstrous superhuman strength and speed. His mind started remembering the whole situation and Elia's silent desperation to help him, which got him clenching his fists behind his back to hide his anger and jealousy, but at the thought of her, he recalled something else that was far more alarming: an official statement written by Commander Nile concerning the Reiss conflict and part of their history, as well as the identity of those linked to the Internal Police, under their protection and mandate. It wasn't information many cared about actually, but he'd paid extra attention just because he'd urgently needed to keep his head super busy, reason why, he spent several days and hours doing unnecessary research on the many names involved, and the Ackerman clan had been, without a doubt, the one with the darkest, bloodiest, and most mysterious stories behind. There wasn't even much data about them but what little he found, it was no good, especially the price on their heads back in the day. And if morons like Miles knew about that, then she could be in danger.
Have him spilling all the beans! his own voice advised; it was the only way to find out more.
"Hard to tell given how they tried to kill each other in broad daylight. But if they're blood related, then madness sure is a trait they had in common" he offered as they walked towards the southern side of the wall's edge, to watch the scouts' descent.
"You bet, man! Maybe that's also why they were hunted down like animals at some point" his partner said and shrugged, without giving much thought except for his morbid curiosity "But since that was no easy task, the crown even offered great rewards for the service" the idiot smiled mockingly and laughed.
"Rewards?"
"Yep. A clever move that got them nearly extinct, though that Kenny guy apparently came to an arrangement with someone important. I'm sure that's how he managed to hide his kin" fortunately, he was having a great time while babbling all this and he definitely wasn't going to stop him "You see now why that jackass never told a soul about his real name?" he gestured towards the soldiers already inside Maria's territory, currently mounting their horses "Too bad his old man betrayed him".
"You're probably right" he lied as he tried not to sound too interested, knowing this dork couldn't be more wrong; that man was arrogant and vicious enough to live in fear for such trifle, let alone keeping his family name hidden. No. That made no sense "No that it matters though… Ackerman or not, don't think there's anyone capable of the deed. Not even the titans have so, whoever tries is nothing but suicidal" he ironized.
"Poor devil" his comrade smiled dismissively, amused at whatever he was thinking and view of his confusion, decided to share it "They all may be swooning over them and him now but no matter how famous he is, no beauty would possibly get near him; not with that shitty expression" the fool laughed at what he thought to be a joke "Unless she's mental or a masochistic whore".
"Mmm" he mumbled, fighting the urge to push this asshole off the wall for indirectly referring to her that way. Not that it'd work anyways, he thought, thanks to the gear he wore.
Not wanting to hear anything else concerning Captain Levi, Elia or listen to Miles' gossip, Garrett turned and moved a couple steps away.
"I need to stretch my legs" he told him, pretending to look and sound bored "Wanna join?" the question was more to keep appearances than anything else; he knew the lazy idiot wouldn't want to.
"Nah, you go. I rather wait here. I'm so hungry that I'm considering eating one of those crappy crackers" as soon as he said it, he simply nodded and started walking without real destination, absentmindedly glancing towards the scouts that were almost ready.
As he contemplated their fearless faces, he wondered whom of all these men and women, would make it back, wanting them to actually succeed; no future was possible for any person otherwise. What about him? his inner voiced asked, unable to block the thought when he found the man in the middle of the formation, briefly turning to his squad to tell something before patting his horse and stayed put for Commander Erwin's signal.
Did he wanted him to survive? Whether he liked it or not, Humanity's Strongest Soldier wasn't an overstated title when it came to him, and to lose him was to lose one valuable weapon, but of course the humiliated man in him wanted the Captain gone, devoured, or squashed. However, the wish brought back memories of Ilva's funeral, and the sorrow experienced by the woman he loved had been painful to see; that day, she finally lost everything she ever cared for, what she treasured above anything else: her family, the people she'd have gladly given her life for. And it'd surely be no different with this douche. If he happened to disappear out there, he knew he'd be there for her, just like her nurse friend, but it wasn't the same; losing the man she unfortunately loved could destroy that special spark in her, maybe even kill her, because in despite of not being reciprocated, his soul knew how he'd feel if she ceased to exist. To imagine a world without her… that hurt deeper than any other thing. So that was the only reason why in the end, he hoped the bastard didn't die; although it wouldn't be so bad if he ended up losing a limb or something, anything that could wipe that damn contemptuous expression off his face, the one Garret had engraved in his memory.
Isn't it better if he doesn't? What if he comes back and they're still together… Wouldn't she be in danger? Garrett mused at the frightening situation of someone trying to hurt him through her; Elia was no fighter, at least not like him or Ilva, and she could be attacked just by being involved.
"Advance!" the command from Erwin Smith got his attention, so he briefly stopped and watched them ride south, against the wind, against light, against all odds but still with fire and hope in their eyes; dedicating their hearts.
She'll be fine… his inner voice affirmed, reminding him he'd never seen them together, not once despite seeing her sometimes from afar by mere coincidence. The only person he'd seen her with was the nurse, Mrs. Green, and Tom, the lad in the store and his parents but never once the soldier. So, as much as he hated to admit it, they were keeping it a secret or maybe it wasn't that but merely liking their privacy; whatever reason was, nobody seemed to know. He actually remembered Mrs. Green openly disliking and judging the man right in front of Elia, and she still said no word about him except advising her friend not to be judgmental. But if they were doing it for her safety, then maybe Levi Ackerman wasn't the soulless monster he seemed and cared for Elia enough not to expose her publicly. Because he could tell, based in his possessiveness, he'd love to proclaim her entirely his, but if Elia meant much more than one selfish desire, then that'd suffice. To calm his fear for her at least.
"Good luck, you son-of-a-bitch…" he barely muttered, quite bitterly.
Having just finished with her last patient of that day, she couldn't help wondering what else was there to try, for it was a complicated case. You did your best, woman, her mind stated, trying to appease the anxiety though this was more about someone else she was worried about rather that the patient, who'd soon enlist in the military to solve his predicament, or run from it. If you're so worried, then go see her, and honestly, that wasn't a bad idea; she knew there was no chance to bump into her man at her home now, so sighing resolutely, Griselda headed to the changing room after planning to pay a visit to her protégé, just to see how she was doing. She really doubted finding the girl in a pool of tears or anything, and yet that didn't mean she'd be jumping for joy after his departure.
However, her body froze when she found the very person she'd been thinking about as soon as she stepped inside the place. Her eyes widened but then her hands automatically moved to her waist.
"Wh... what are you doing here?!" the older woman exclaimed at the younger one right across the room, who'd evidently been working there, or so stated her half-changed clothes "I was under the impression you wouldn't be coming back until tomorrow morning".
"I asked about you when I got here, around four hours ago, but you were extremely busy" Elia explained and, in the meantime, she finished buttoning her blouse "I was going to tell you I came on my own" the girl said and averted her eyes to the last couple lower buttons, realizing it was mostly to avoid looking at her.
"Oh..." the woman replied, and then kept moving towards the closet where her belongings were. It wasn't necessary to ask her reasons; Elia surely needed to stay busy not to think and worry. But of course, she couldn't really explain herself better when she hadn't said thing about her relationship "Well, you know well we're always short-staffed, so I'm glad, dear".
"Thanks, Gris" the girl replied with a somewhat sad smile before turning to grant her some privacy when she started taking all her uniform off "Did you have any troubles this morning? What happened with the patient from 5C?"
"Not much except Jane looking after him ever since the failed escape" she shared with a mild shrug, just because the girl hadn't been happy about it "Other than that, our day was like the usual… crazy".
"I see" Elia muttered, for a moment lost in thought but then went back to normal, as usual, not minding other people's business, such as Jane atoning for neglecting the patient the day before "The case with the kid who chopped a finger off… did you tend that one?" the healer enquired, concerned.
"Yes. Although he only lost half the finger and will be fine in no time, dear" Griselda corrected as she put on the dark brown, straight skirt of her two-piece suit "You know… despite working for so many years in here and seeing tons of unusual stuff, I just don't understand how folks believe they succeed on disguising domestic violence as regular accidents. We're not blind nor fools!"
"The boy's mother jumpy state was the major giveaway when I saw them arriving. Problem is we can't do a thing except write that in the patient's file, but why even bother when nobody really does a thing about it?" Elia muttered, somewhat dejected, and then let out a sonorous sigh "I hate feeling so helpless" she knew she meant it, but this wasn't the first time dealing with a case like this. Remember she's uneasy over something else today… her inner self pointed out, reminding her of one blue-eyed man she knew.
"Dear girl, I'm afraid all we can do is help other up to a certain point. It's a shame but the system won't change too soon" she commented with some regret "Elia…" she called so she faced her "Have patience. Everything changes within time, whether we like it or not" she advised when she noticed the anxiety in those gray eyes.
"I know. Time and life are relentless" she heard her say after greeting another of their colleagues that just came in and passed by. Her voice sounded sad but not hopeless, and that was a good sign "Our feelings and memories at least prevail over both" she added with a sober smile.
Life went on when she lost her family, and the same happened to Elia, so she truly comprehended what she was going through.
"Exactly, my dear" she agreed with an encouraging nod after adjusting the belt around her waist, and then grabbed her jacket though not to put it on; the weather outside was warm again.
"Shall we?" the healer asked once she saw her picking up her purse, to what she simply smiled and walked outside the room with Elia's steps following closely.
As they walked through the hallways leaving the hospital premises, Griselda racked her brains wondering what to say to assure her the Corps would return safe and sound, but the words eluded her. Unlike Elia, she grew distant from the military when her son and husband died, not to mention that she was still quite upset about the kid's situation, which she hadn't forgotten, nor that hateful man behind his punishment; he sure now was dragging the boy to his doom, and for some reason, Commander Erwin hadn't prevented it. But just as it happened with her latest patient, there was nothing to be done and it wasn't Elia's doing anyways, so she didn't want to be insensitive and make the girl feel worse by bringing it up, especially now that she turned to her once outside the building and caught her glancing at her pocket watch. She probably knows where they should be at this point, she thought.
"I wonder if leaving this late was indeed a wise decision" she voiced, noting that had grabbed her attention "Of all the decades I've seen or heard of an expedition, never once they took such risk before".
"This may sound insane but travelling in the dark is much safer for them" her protégé replied, and immediately after realized that this piece of information wasn't of public knowledge. She could tell by how she lowered her head to hide the shame her eyes.
"Worry not, dear. Your sister wouldn't be mad at you for letting that slip" she patted her shoulder, to spare her from having to explain anything "And no one will hear it from me anyways".
"I'm sorry, Gris" Elia smiled apologetically but relieved, neither denying or confirming the source of it.
That'd be hard considering she haven't said a thing about the blue-eyed man. However, the sincerity in the healer's gaze told her she most likely had an important reason to keep him a secret.
"You know, I just had an idea!" Griselda said, smiling with her whole face "Let's dine together! It's been a while since you last visited me".
"I don't want to abuse your generosity. Even less when I know you've had a hard day's work".
"Meh, I'm not even that tired, and as you well know, I seldom cook so doing it tonight is no biggie" the woman assured with an infectious smile, managing to lighten her mood "I've craved homemade chard stew with boiled potatoes for days and it'd be my pleasure to have some in your company".
Regardless her strong, determined, and brave spirit, a woman's heart was always fragile when it came to those it held dear. And based on her own experiences, she could only imagine how difficult this moment was to her, unable to ask him to stay, or more like refusing to, given Elia's ideals; the girl probably didn't even consider that option for how big this was, and also out of respect to her little sister. The young healer was truly willing to make the sacrifice, to endure and accept his fate out there for the greater good and everyone's sake. Still, that didn't mean she wouldn't feel like dying on the inside, or didn't fear losing him, especially in his condition; he may even return but severely injured and that'd be a terrible blow, for it'd relive the pain experienced not long ago with her family. Better learning he died in battle… the older woman said to herself as she gave her time to think, observing her stare at the clear, pitch black, sky in that moonless night.
The older woman could hardly imagine what was going through her head at that moment, the instructions the man she despised had left for her friend once they were gone.
Stay frosty, he'd said a couple nights ago, when he checked the old gear and the other things she'd need if things went sour, such as the two changes of clothes, a few light weapons, and the list of food she bought today. Survive. Fight only if necessary, Levi had emphasized sternly, to what she'd simply nodded. Use your head, Elia. Not your heart, that's what he'd instructed during their final training session, and although she made no promise, the healer felt somewhat guilty now; accepting her friend's invitation went against that, because he said there was no guarantee the walls wouldn't be attacked now that they were out, as it happened in the past. But what was the point of surviving if that meant abandoning someone as precious as the woman beside her? It made no sense to her, especially in the horrible case of his death.
Do you honestly believe he didn't know? out of the blue, it was Ilva's voice that manifested in her head, incredibly faithful to her usual ironic tone whenever she scolded her for overthinking. He knows you, sis. He knows you're willing to risk your own skin to help others. So don't torment yourself... That's actually one of the several traits he digs about you, silly... Have you forgotten that's the first thing he noticed about you, that day on top of the wall? The healer closed her eyes and tried recalling that day as clear as she could, coming to understand her head was telling the truth through her sister's voice because it was the person, she trusted the most. Whatever decision you make, he accepts it, Elia. Because that's who you are…
Smiling, and grateful for this tremendously significant present on a day like this, the young woman took a deep breath and opened her eyes to look back at her friend.
"You're the best, Gris" the nurse grinned when she saw her lovely smile and a spark of renewed hope in her face before taking her by the arm, telling she was ready to go "I wouldn't miss it for the world".
"Excellent, dearie!" the older woman exclaimed happily before setting off together "How about having a drink tonight? I could use a glass of whiskey" she offered, and Elia chuckled as she shook her head in response "Come on. You're welcome to stay over if you want".
"I'll join you with whatever you have that it isn't booze" the healer counteroffered, recalling her last hangover the night she tried drowning the sadness of losing Petra; finding her to lose her around two months later had been awful "My tolerance for alcoholic drinks is like zero, I'm not lying. Besides, there's also work at the hospital tomorrow, remember?"
"Oh, I forgot you just had your day off, but that's on you for messing with my head" the woman bulged her lips in disappointment but then her face lit up "Alright, what about a couple poker-hands then?" she offered hopeful.
"Gladly" she accepted, but then laughed sheepishly "If you're willing to teach me how to play, I'm in".
"Gosh, girl!" the woman exclaimed, shocked "What do you do to when you want to have some fun then?"
Uh-oh... she shouldn't have said that; it felt so rude. Elia sure had her hobbies, not to mention that when in a relationship, people didn't tend to go having a blast on their own, especially when they didn't get to spend all their spare time together. But as it usually happened with her protégé, she didn't feel offended, and was even oblivious to her sudden nervousness for she surprisingly decided to answer her indelicate question.
"Well, I've enjoyed gardening ever since I was very little. Working in it hasn't been too easy now that I live in a building, but I manage" the healer explained with a thoughtful expression as they continued walking "Although in my case it's more about medicinal herbs than the ones with esthetic qualities".
"Oh, your herbology knowledge it's really fascinating, dear. Especially when you're this young" she was so grateful Elia hadn't noticed, or simply forgave her recent indiscretion "How was it that you got into it?"
"Mmm I don't really remember when I got interested in the field. I only remember enjoying the time spent with my parents while they worked on it, and then I understood their love for growing things. That's the fascinating part for me" the healer said with an enthusiastic glow in her eyes.
"That's a very nice hobby. Healthier too" the older woman joked and let out a hearty laughed, a contagious sound that got her protégé cracking up as well "Though I'm happy we do have in common our love for books" she added once they calmed.
"Yeah. Reading is also one of my favorites" Elia agreed, glad to know her friend wasn't the kind of people to consider it boring "The ability to create or tell something special out of mere words on a piece of paper… I just love it".
"You just reminded me of my mother" the nurse shared with a kind and affectionate smile "She used to say something very similar when she tucked me in and then read me something to sleep. She was a master of narration, always taking me to those imaginary places… I used to believe it was magic" she couldn't help but sigh, finding hard to believe it had been so long since then.
"That's a beautiful memory, Gris" Elia declared with respect and a sincere smile, but also a hint of melancholy and longing included "Dad used to do the same with us, however, the roles reversed when I reached adulthood. It was a time he started asking me to read him, claiming the sound of my voice helped him sleep".
Elia suddenly went silent for like a minute. And though Griselda missed her mother dearly, this was probably harder for the young healer given how she lost them; she could even bet she was now recalling the last occasion in which she read something to the man, maybe the night before Trost's attack.
"I can't say I've been fortunate enough to have you reading me something, but he wasn't lying about your voice, dear. It's very soothing" the woman said and tightened their arms linked together, wanting to let her know she was there "When you're not mad, of course. You've got to admit you're a bit scary at times".
Raising her eyes to the sky, Griselda was content to see there was a smile in Elia's face while she seemed to be looking for something up there.
"If you say so" she chortled but then went back to the solemn expression "As for dad, I'm sure him struggling to see clearly was the real issue" her protégé said and looked back at her with gratitude "I remember mom continuously fighting him to wear his glasses, the same he most of the time kept inside his nightstand's drawer, with the excuse of better keeping them safe because he could lose or break them" she was beginning to look a lot less stressed as she spoke and giggled "Ilva and I always had a good guffaw whenever he started squinting his eyes to see better. It was fun to see mom scolding him for being so childish and absurd about it".
Her smile was so contagious that she simply joined her and laughed as she imagined the whole thing, feeling immensely grateful to the young woman's friendship and that she was sharing something this personal and precious to her. So much so that it made her feel like she too was part of her clan, and that meant so much; because, despite neither of them would ever stop missing their actual families, life still found a way to give them something special to hold on to, whether they looked for it or not.
I'm a bit tired and sore right now (sadly, not for the same reasons as Elia's) so, off to bed I go but before that... I'm finally posting the last part! (if you want a fourth, I'm all ears hehe).
About the chapter, well, the inspiration for these povs came while I worked on the previous chapter. They may not be huge or earthshaking, but they're special in their own simplicity and I just couldn't leave them out. Hope you got to feel that too.
Namárië