~*~*~*~*~
In a small grove of bushes several blocks from Sunnydale High someone moved. His two upper incisor teeth were fang-like and the person was in a greatly irritated mood. As he moved the branches of the bushes caught on his clothes, causing him to utter a string of course language. With a quick surge of effort the person tore loose from the bushes and tumbled wildly into a patch of grass. He rolled a few times before finally coming to a stop under a sign. The sign read "Welcome to Sunnydale".
The person now lying on the ground was a teenage boy with dark hair. He sported a yellow shirt, dark green pants and a yellow bandanna with black stripes. He also wore a large backpack and had a battered umbrella in his right hand. The young man in question was Ryoga Hibiki a.k.a. The Eternally Lost Boy. In some circles he was also known as P-Chan and, in the mind of one very strange girl, as Charlotte. But both of those were long stories, neither of which he liked to dwell on.
After taking a moment to catch his breath Ryoga sat up and looked around. "Hey, this isn't Tokyo Station! Dammit! WHERE ON EARTH AM I NOW!?" howled the young martial artist in Japanese.
It was then that he noticed the sign. Upon closer inspection Ryoga noted that the poles that held the sign to the ground looked battered and that there was a series of black tire tracks across part of the sign. It had seemingly been run over by a car recently and then hastily put back up. Ryoga mentally shook his head at the carelessness of this city's (whatever city this was) Department of Public Works.
"Hhhmmm, that sign's in English. Maybe this is some sort of resort for tourists coming to Japan." Ryoga moved back from the sign bit and squinted. When one spent as much time lost in various part of the world as Ryoga did, learning to read signs in foreign languages was a vital survival skill.
"Well…come…to…Sunny…Dale," read Ryoga in heavily accented English. The young Japanese boy scratched his head. "'Sunnydale?' That doesn't sound very Japanese." Ryoga then reached into his pack and pulled out a map. It was at this point that two things escaped Ryoga's notice. First, he was holding his map upside-down. Second, it was a map a Spain.
His confusion growing, Ryoga started studying the map. While he was doing this a third thing escaped his attention. Oz's van, carrying its owner, Plant Willow, the goddesses, Buffy and Xander drove right past him. At the point when the van was about a half block away Ryoga sighed and admitted the inevitable. Once again he was hopelessly lost.
It was then that Ryoga shouted the words that in recent years had become almost a mantra to him: "RANMA, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"
~*~*~*~*~*~
Tokyo, Japan
In a small okonomiyaki restaurant in the Tokyo suburb of Nerima, a young man by the name of Ranma Saotome let forth a mighty sneeze.
"Aaachooo!"
Behind the shop's main grill, her mighty battle spatula strapped to her back, the shop's owner, Ukyo Kuonji, merrily prepared another of her delicious okonomiyakis. "Bless you, Ranma," Ukyo said as see added a dash of sauce to the treat. In addition to making the best okonomiyaki in town, Ukyo was also a talented martial artist and Ranma's "cute" fiancé. But that was a long story that Ranma hated to tell since whenever he started to he usually ended up getting a painful crack to the skull with a mallet courtesy of another girl that he was also engaged to. Such was the complicated life of Ranma Saotome.
"You're not coming down with a cold are you?" asked Ukyo as she flipped the okonomiyaki.
"No, I feel find," replied Ranma.
"Hhhmmm. You know, there's an old folk saying that says when you sneeze it means someone is talking about you."
"Yeah, I've heard that," nodded Ranma. "Personally, I think stuff like that's silly."
Ukyo glanced at Ranma and stopped for a second to admire his dark hair that he wore pulled back in a pigtail and the bright red Chinese shirt he had on. Ukyo mentally smiled. Ranma may have considered her just his best friend at the moment, but one of these days he'd see the light. She took a moment to fantasize about the day Ranma would find a way out of his engagement to that tomboy Akane, send that bimbo Shampoo back to China, and convince the authorities to have that psycho Kodachi committed. Then he'd be all hers just like it should be.
*sigh*
"I suppose it is a silly idea after all," agreed Ukyo as she seamlessly flipped the okonomiyaki from the grill and onto the plate in front of the hungry martial artist. "Here you go, Ranma honey. One pork okonomiyaki cooked to perfection. On the house, of course!"
"Thanks, Ucchan!" beamed Ranma as he tore into the food. "Mmm! Great like always!"
Ukyo beamed.
As he devoured the okonomiyaki, in the back of his mind a thought tugged at Ranma's brain. I know all that stuff about sneezing when someone's talking about you is silly, but still, if it were true, I wonder who it could have been.
At that point Ranma's mind gave a mental shrug and returned its full attention to devouring the food before him.
~*~*~*~*~
"Hey, Buffy? Buffy? Buffy, this is Houston calling. Come in Buffy."
The Slayer, who had been peering out the van's back window, turned and flashed a sheepish smile. "Sorry. I thought I heard…I guess it was a shout back there."
"As long as it wasn't the trademark Sunnydale scream of abject terror I wouldn't worry about it," said Xander. "Besides, it was probably just Oz's muffler howling to be put out of its misery."
Buffy managed a small smile as she sat down on the floor next to Xander. Across from them the goddesses sat talking quietly among themselves. Up front Oz drove with Plant Willow riding shotgun.
"You know, Xander, sometimes you really amaze me," said Buffy.
"Really?"
"Sure. I mean, an hour ago you were a guy. Now you're…"
"Playing for the other team?" offered Xander. She then paused for a second to reflect on her words. "Uh, I didn't mean it that way."
Buffy giggled.
"On second thought actually does make sense," Xander continued. "Now that I'm a girl I guess I'm technically a lesbian. Wow, all of a sudden I'm overcome with this urge to go out and buy Paula Cole albums and tickets to Lillith Fair."
Buffy gave another laugh. "Well, lesbian or not you're still you. But considering what's happened I'm surprised you're not doing more of the wiggins."
"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little freaked. Okay, a lot freaked," admitted Xander. "Hell, I'm probably the first guy in history to become a woman without flying to Sweden for weird operation first. On the other hand, this isn't exactly the first time I've ended up on the nasty end of some magick. Remember last Halloween when that cursed costume turned me into a GI Joe complete with kung fu death grip?"
"I do remember that, but where was that kung fu death grip when we were being chased by Spike and his goons?"
"The kung fu death grip is a forbidden technique, grasshopper," intoned Xander in a bad Chinese accent. "Besides, the death grip wouldn't have worked on Spike. He's a vampire so he's already dead."
"Good point," sighed Buffy.
"Anyway, I guess that Halloween thing wasn't so bad. I got all that cool military knowledge without having to deal with one of those Full Metal Jacket type drill sergeants. Shame there wasn't an upside to me being possessed by a hyena spirit or having every woman in Sunnydale fall for me."
Xander paused for a second to reflect on that last memory. "Wait a second, during that whole lovespell mess Amy Madison got jealous of our relationship and turned you into a rat to get you out of the way. So you've been though this cursed thing before. Was being a rat for a few hours really that bad?"
"My memory of being a rat is a bit hazy," admitted Buffy. "But I do recall being really freaked when I realized what had happened. And being really, really freaked when I was turned back and realized I was naked."
"But you were okay after, right?"
"Well, I had this strange urge to gnaw on stuff for about a week after but, yeah, I was cool."
"Okay then," shrugged Xander. "As long as I get back to being a guy before I have to deal with any 'not so fresh feeling' stuff then it's all good."
"'It's all good'?!" repeated Buffy. "There's taking it well and then there's this. That must have been one heck of a hug Belldandy gave you."
As soon as the Slayer spoke those words the humorous, irreverent air that defined Xander Harris evaporated. Xander suddenly seemed solemn and cast a quick look at Belldandy. "Yeah, some hug."
"Xander?" said Buffy.
"I really don't know how to describe it. How it felt when she hugged me. If you took the best hug you've ever had in your life and multiplied it a thousand times you still wouldn't be close. I mean…just for those few seconds I felt totally safe, totally protected and that no matter what everything would be okay. You don't get a lot those moments in life, Buffy."
Buffy thought back to how she'd felt resting in Angel's arms after they'd made love that one and only time. No, you didn't get many moments like that in life at all.
"I wonder if that's what Lois Lane feels like when Superman shows up and saves her at the last possible second," mused Xander. "It was…Well, it was like being hugged by a goddess."
"Think a hug from a Slayer might help too?" asked Buffy.
Xander smiled. "You never know. But Buffy hugs are always good."
With that, the two friends embraced.
While that had been going on the goddesses had been engaged in a far more serious discussion.
"It just doesn't add up," muttered Urd.
"What doesn't add up?" asked Belldandy.
"Mara. She actually beat us. Hell, she completely kicked our asses. When has that ever happened?"
"Never," said Skuld. "I never would have guessed Mara could do stuff like that. She always seemed kinda…goofy to me. Bad, but not really a threat, you know?"
"Exactly," nodded Urd. "She's plenty nasty when she's out on her own, but whenever she tries to mess with us for some reason she tends to devolve to the level of some cartoon supervillain. One ridiculous plan to make our lives miserable after another. And in the end she always goes away with egg on her face.
"But not this time. This time she outwitted us and the Slayer and her friends. So the question is what's different about Mara this time that let her get the best of us."
"Wow, that actually sounds logical," replied Skuld. "What's up with you? You never act logical."
Before Urd could retort Belldandy interrupted. "Urd has known Mara longer than any of us and she does raise a good point. Mara did seem somewhat out of character tonight. She was more…vicious than I ever imagined she could be."
"Mara's a demon. Vicious comes with the territory," shrugged Skuld. "Maybe she just found some inner well of nastiness we never knew about. Or maybe that Lord of Terror mess made just made her snap. She always did seem a few sandwiches short of a picnic to me."
"Mara wasn't always the way she is now," informed Belldandy. "When she, Urd and I were younger we were actually friends. But once we began to mature and we took on the roles that goddesses and demons do and so we couldn't be friends anymore."
"Yeah, growing up can really suck," sighed Urd. "Anyway, long story short, Mara took to evil like a fish to water and for some reason decided to make it her mission to make life tough for us. Some kind of effort to try and forget the fact that she was once our friend, I guess."
"Do you think she might be under some kind of influence?" asked Belldandy.
Urd shrugged. "Could be. Looks like Mara's behavior is another mystery we'll have to solve. Right up there with what she's up to and what caused that earthquake a few hours ago. Anyway you slice it, something seriously weird is going on in this town."
"I think weird is the standard in this town," muttered Skuld.
Urd and Belldandy nodded in agreement.
~*~*~*~*~*~
A few minutes later Oz's van rolled up in front of the Harris house and Xander and the goddesses quickly climbed out.
"We'll meet you guys at the library tomorrow at 9 a.m., okay?" called Buffy.
"Gotcha," confirmed Xander. "The early bird slays the demon."
Xander then went to the driver's window and glanced past Oz to the seat where Plant Willow lay. "Hang tight, Will. We'll get you back to normal ASAFP. In the meantime see if you can figure out if you'd make a sound if you fell in the woods and no one was around, okay? I've heard there're some monks in China who've been working on that one for a while with no luck. Maybe you could help 'em out."
Despite being bound to the bonsai tree Willow still managed a smile. "God, Xander, I don't know how you do it. No matter how bad things are you can always say something funny to make me feel better."
Xander then fixed Oz with a serious look. "Look, Oz, I know things haven't been the best between us lately…"
"Water under the bridge, man," assured the teen. "I forgave you and Willow for that…uh, thing a long time ago. We're cool, got it?"
"Yeah, I got it," said Xander with a small smile. "Anyway, I meant what I said to Willow. We will get her back to normal. I also wanted to say that I'm glad you're doing what you doing. Will needs someone to be with her now and I can't think of anyone better to watch over her."
"Thanks, man. I know that you've been best friends since you were, like, in diapers so hearing you say that means a lot."
"Back at ya," replied Xander. Xander then glanced over his should to see the goddesses standing a discreet distance away trying very hard not to look at anything in particular for to long.
"I better get going. Stay cool."
"Roger," confirmed Oz.
With that Xander turned and began to walk back toward his house.
"Hey, Xander."
Xander turned.
"Be sure to kick Mara's ass for us," said Oz.
"Promise," nodded Xander as he flashed his friend a thumbs up.
"I promise too," vowed Urd under her breathe.
Despite being a few feet away Belldandy caught her sister's words. The goddess found them unsettling to say the least. Skuld's observations in the library and the van had been right; Urd was acting much serious than usual. Belldandy wasn't sure what was causing her sister to act so different, but swore to herself that she would find out the truth.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"-was the official response from the White House.
In local news, the mayor's office today issued at statement reporting that the city of Sunnydale suffered no noticeable damage in last night's earthquake. In an early morning press conference at city hall Mayor Wilkins said--"
With a mild sigh Joyce Summers snapped off the kitchen radio and headed for the living room. Ever since meeting him during the anti-occult fever that had swept Sunnydale a few weeks prior Joyce had found herself feeling uncomfortable whenever she so much as heard the mayor's name. Something about him just seemed…creepy to her.
"Living in a town full of vampires is getting to me," murmured Joyce as she sat down on the couch and picked up a cup of tea. "I'm starting to think everyone is a monster."
It was then that she heard the front door open and close.
Setting her tea aside Joyce headed for the hall. "Buffy? Is that you? You're home early tonight."
When Joyce caught site of her daughter she stopped cold. Physically, she could tell that Buffy was fine at a glance. But her eyes…In her daughter's eyes Joyce saw a look of pain that had become far to common since whatever powers that be had decided that her Buffy, her child, was to be the Slayer.
"Mom…" whispered Buffy.
No further words were needed. Joyce dashed toward Buffy and hugged her to her chest. Buffy hugged back. Hard. In that second, just for moment, Buffy Summers stopped being the Slayer. At that moment she was just a teenage girl who needed the love and support of her mother more than anything else in the world.
~*~*~*~*~*~
It's said that music is a piece of a person's heart given form as sound. In his bedroom, Plant Willow situated comfortably on his bed, Oz was pouring out his heart. Those that knew him called Oz a man of few words. Oz just figured there was no need to use words if you say it with song.
Right now the song he was playing said one very simple thing to the girl who meant more to Oz than anyone.
"I love you too," said Plant Willow, a stream of happy tears rolling down her face.
~*~*~*~*~*~
In the bell tower of Sunnydale High a figure stood. Bored and impatient, Zack took a moment to glance up at the night sky. It was a half moon tonight. "Appropriate," murmured Zack. "This show is already half over. Which leaves the finale for tomorrow."
There was then a flash of red light as Wally suddenly appeared in the bell tower, a large white bag under one arm.
"You got it?" asked Zack.
"Yep," nodded Wally as he dug into the bag and pulled out a paper cup with a lid on it. "Lots of cinnamon, lots of cream, just like you ordered. What kind of donut do you want?"
"Gimme one of those deals that's twisted and covered in sugar," replied Zack as he took the expresso cup from Wally. "I'll say one thing for Sunnydale, at least it's not to hard to find a decent cup of java and a donut in this town."
"Yep, it's almost a shame what's gonna happen to this place tomorrow. Almost," nodded Wally as he withdrew a large bearclaw from the bag and took a bite. "Damn, do I love these things!"
"With a gut like yours that comes as such a shock."
Wally, his mouth full of bearclaw, gave Zack the finger as a rebuttal.
"You know, I was real impressed with the butt whippin' Mara dished out here tonight," said Zack.
Wally gulped down the last bit of the food in his mouth, licked his fingers, and nodded. "Yeah, the boss' little puppet really did her job well. I mean, turning that smart mouthed kid into a girl, now that's evil with the sort of creative twist you just don't see much these days."
"I sort of liked what she did to the witch. You turn a girl named Willow into a plant. It's the sort of ironic curse the Greek gods were so big on. Very classic."
"Aw, the Greek gods are such dicks. All that attention they get in Western culture has given them such huge egos."
"The Greek gods have always had huge egos," said Zack. "But they did get even worse for awhile after that Hercules movie that come out not long ago."
"Tell me about," muttered Wally as he pulled a cup of expresso out of the bag for himself. "But at least all the other gods get to give them a hard time over those Hercules and Xena shows. They come off as pretty goofy on there."
"Heh, yeah, that's true."
Zack took a long drink from his expresso and then cast a quick glance at the moon. "Just one more day, my man. Come tomorrow night the boss' plan will be fulfilled and we'll be given the reward we so richly deserve."
"We'll be freakin' kings," grinned Wally.
Zack also grinned and then raised his cup. "To tomorrow then."
Wally grabbed his own cup and raised as well. "To tomorrow."
"Cheers!"
~*~*~*~*~*~
Author's Notes: Not really much to say about this section. I knew it was really, really short, but college was dogging me bigtime so I figured I might as well post something to hold the fans over.
The young man in question was Ryoga Hibiki a.k.a. The Eternally Lost Boy.
The Ranma ½ references continue. I couldn't resist tossing Ryoga into the story seeing as, with his sense of direction, one could actually believe he could somehow end up in Sunnydale.
In some circles he was also known as P-Chan and, in the mind of one very strange girl, as Charlotte.
P-chan is, of course, Ryoga's cursed form, a small black pig. Charlotte was the name given to him by the uber-kawaii Azuza from the Martial Arts Figure Skating duo the Golden Pair.
It was then that he noticed the sign. Upon closer inspection Ryoga noted that the poles that held the sign to the ground looked battered and that there was a series of black tire tracks across part of the sign. It had seemingly been run over by a car recently and then hastily put back up.
This is the Welcome to Sunnydale sign that got trashed before when Spike and Drusilla first come to Sunnydale. The sign received the damage it sports in this story when Spike, sans Dru, returned to Sunnydale in "Lovers Walk" which took place a few weeks before the start of this story.
In a small okonomiyaki restaurant in the Tokyo suburb of Nerima, a young man by the name of Ranma Saotome let forth a mighty sneeze.
Hey, if I had Ryoga why not Ranma?
In addition to making the best okonomiyaki in town Ukyo was also a talented martial artist and Ranma's "cute" fiancé.
Ukyo is my favorite Ranma ½ character so I couldn't leave her out. Sorry if anyone out there does like the way Akane, Shampoo and Kodachi are mentioned in this story. I like all the girls fine, but wanted to write them the way I think Ukyo thinks about them.
On the other hand, this isn't exactly the first time I've ended up on the nasty end of some magick. Remember last Halloween when that cursed costume turned me into a GI Joe complete with kung fu death grip?"
Xander is referring to season two's episode "Halloween".
Shame there wasn't an upside to me being possessed by a hyena spirit or having every woman in Sunnydale fall for me."
More season two references.
Buffy thought back to how she'd felt resting in Angel's arms after they'd made love that one and only time. No, you didn't get many moments like that in life at all.
The classic episode "Innocence". Again, season two.
Ever since meeting him during the anti-occult fever that had swept Sunnydale a few weeks prior Joyce had found herself feeling uncomfortable whenever she so much as heard the mayor's name. Something about him just seemed…creepy to her.
Joyce met the mayor in season three's "Gingerbread".
In the bell tower of Sunnydale High a figure stood.
The bell tower is where Buffy stopped Jonathan from killing himself in season three's "Earshot".