Warning: Once again, this shall be AU, OOC, and all that good junk! You are hearby warned. So, yeah, that's about it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or MTV's Parental Control, blah, blah, blah -- you get it so don't sue me!
-". . ."- Denotes thought.
Parental Control: Special Edition Part II: The First Date
Narrator: And we are back with another Special Edition epsiode of Parental Control. At this very moment Vice Foreign Minister Relena Darlian is enjoying her first date with head of the Winner family Quatre Raberba Winner while her brother, sister-in-law, and boyfriend are currently sitting down on the newlywed's couch and watching anxiously. Now, how about we check up on Relena and Quatre's date thus far? As we speak the two are at one of Quatre's many residences, let's see what they're up to . . .
Relena: -blinks- You know how to cook, Quatre?
Quatre: -smiles nervously and begins to fidget- To tell you the truth, no. But Trowa told me it'd be a nice way to start off a date, so . . .
Relena: -smiles brightly- I'm sure you're cooking will taste wonderful, Quatre. I can't wait.
-half an hour later-
Quatre: Hmm, I was so sure I went exactly by the directions. -looks at box of Hamburger Helper- I don't know what I did wrong.
Relena: -covers mouth- Where's the closest bathroom?
Quatre: -panicks- Oh, no! Are you okay, Relena! -turns, begins to freak out and throws box behind him, accidentally hitting Relena in the head- What do I do? Oh, no! What if I food poisoned Relena? Ah, I killed the Vice Foreign Minister!
Relena: -clutches stomach- I'm not dead YET Quatre, but a certain someone will be if they don't show me to the nearest bathroom SOON.
Quatre: -laughs nervously- Uh, right. Hold on, Relena!
Narrator: Um, well, why don't we go and check out what Relena's boyfriend reaction is to all of this?
Heero: -grits teeth- That idiot's going to end up getting her killed.
Noin: -sweats- I wouldn't say that. -"Dammit, Quatre, you better not screw this up for me!"-
Milliardo: Aside from food poisoning her, I think it's going rather well.
-silence-
Heero: You're serious?
Milliardo: -shrugs- He was a gentleman.
Heero: Hmph. He was a gentleman about almost killing your sister.
Milliardo: -mutters- Unlike someone else I know . . .
Heero: -clenches fists- I'm gonna kill you.
Milliardo: -chuckles- I don't respond to empty threats.
Heero: -pulls gun out- Trust me, this isn't some idle threat.
Noin: -blinks, "Where on earth did he get that gun from?"- Um, Heero where did you get that gun?
Heero: Does it matter? I'm about to kill your husband here.
Noin: -shrugs- Guess not. -smacks him in the back of the head with her own gun and sighs- That should keep him quiet for a couple minutes.
Narrator: Okaay. Why don't we check up on Relena's and Quatre's date instead? Let's see what those two are up to.
Quatre: -looks over list- Hmm. Okay, so the dinner didn't work out . . . Then that leaves us the movie. -turns and smiles- What kind of movie would you like to see, Relena?
Relena: -still clutching her stomach- Whichever, so long as it's not gruesome.
Quatre: -nods- Alright. Let's go. -"I think Trowa told me about a good movie to watch when on a date was . . ."-
-about an hour later-
Quatre: Uh, are you alright Relena?
Relena: -sighs- Yes, I think so. Good thing I threw up everything I ate at your house, Quatre.
Quatre: -fidgets with his fingers- I am so sorry, Relena. I had no idea what that movie was actually like! I swear! If I had known it was going to be so gory --
Relena: -smiles weakly- It's alright Quatre, really. I had . . . an interesting time.
Quatre: -frowns- Relena, I know this date didn't turn out the way it was supposed to, but I just want to let you know that I do really like you. -pauses and blushes- A lot, in fact.
Relena: Oh, Quatre. -smiles sincerely- I think that's one of the nicest things anyone's ever told me. Thank you.
Quatre: -lowers head and begins to move towards Relena slowly- Relena . . .
Heero: -appears out of nowhere and points a gun at Quatre's head- Don't you dare take another step forward if you value your life, Quatre!
Quatre: -freezes- H-Heero? What're you doing here?
Relena: -frowns- Yes, Heero, I'd like to know that myself.
Heero: -growls- He was about to kiss you, Relena. I was protecting you.
Relena: From a harmless kiss? Heero, have you gone mad?
Heero: -still pointing gun- Have you, Relena?
Noin: -runs and stops right behind Heero- Damn, Heero! You wake up fast from a blow to the head!
Milliardo: -mumbles from afar- That just doesn't sound right.
Noin: Heero, we have to go. Com'on, they're still on their date.
Heero: -glares at Quatre, who is still frozen in the same position- I'm not leaving, and this date is OVER.
Noin: -sighs- I didn't want to have to do this, but you leave me no choice Heero. -raises hand with gun towards Heero's head, but is stopped by Heero's gunless left hand- Heero!
Heero: I won't fall for the same trick twice, Noin.
Milliardo: It's no trick, Heero. -knocks Heero out with a lead pipe- There. That should hold for more than a few minutes.
Noin: Hmph. -"Where the hell did he get the lead pipe?"-
Milliardo: -turns to camera- By the way kids, what I just did was very dangerous and had it been done to anyone other than Heero, they probably would've been hurt pretty badly. So don't try it at home.
Relena: -runs to Heero's side- Don't try it here! Milliardo, Heero's got two huge bumps on his head now!
Milliardo: -points to Noin- Don't blame me. Noin started it.
Noin: -smacks Milliardo- Only because he was about to kill you if I hadn't!
Milliardo: Well, he was about to kill Quatre. I saved him.
Noin: -rubs temple- Oh, whatever. -grabs Heero by the ankle and begins to drag him away- Don't mind us Relena. Just pretend like we never interrupted your date. Bye! Com'on Milliardo, you too!
Milliardo: -mutters under his breath- You don't have to order me around . . .
Noin: -smiles saccharinely- What was that, dear?
Milliardo: -returns smile and runs to catch up with Noin- Nothing, sweetheart!
Noin: -smirks- I thought so. -they turn a corner and disappear-
Relena: -blinks and sighs- I hope they take care of Heero.
Quatre: -grabs Relena's hand- Don't worry, Relena. I'm sure Noin will take great care of Heero. Now, -whips out list- let's go take a nice walk along the beach.
Relena: -forces smile- Okay. That sounds relaxing.
Narrator: -sighs- Now, doesn't that sound absolutely sweet? Well, as the date is coming to a close why don't we go and check up on the newlywed's with Relena's currently knocked out boyfriend? -aside- Usually, these dates are so dull and boring. Maybe we should do some more with politicians? Huh, we're still on? Oh, crap! Um, let's now go and see what those three are up to?
Milliardo: Hmm, they're just walking. They haven't even talked peacefully throughout this whole date . . . -under his breath- Relena will be sure to choose the people I picked out for her.
Noin: -narrows eyebrows- People?
Milliardo: -scratches the back of his head- Ah, I mean person! Person! Hahahaha! Oh look, I think I saw Heero just twitch!
Noin: -turns abruptly towards the corner of the room where she dumped Heero's unconscious body- He's still knocked out cold, thankfully. But he will be waking up soon . . .
Milliardo: -lays back on the sofa- Don't worry, honey. The date's already over.
Noin: -clenches fists- What? I missed the ending of the date! Ergh, Milliardo --
Relena: -opens door- I'm back!
Heero: -blinks awake at the sound of Relena's voice- Relena?
Relena: -rushes to his side- Heero, are you okay?
Heero: -frowns- Did you kiss him?
Relena: Heero, let me see your head . . .
Heero: -grabs her wrist- Relena!
Relena: -sighs and looks away- He tried to kiss me again --
Noin: -smiles- He did? -"Oh, Quatre! You didn't let me down! You might even still have a chance!"-
Heero: -grows tense- . . . And?
Relena: I moved away and dodged it . . . And I think I hurt his feelings.
Heero: Relena . . .
Milliardo: -chuckles- Well, now it's onto my pick.
Heero: -pales, "I don't know if I can handle another date."-
Noin: -crosses arms- Which is whom?
Milliardo: -grins- You'll soon see.
Narrator: Who did Milliardo pick? And how will Heero react towards this new rival? Will the next date be as wild as the first, and does Quatre still have a chance with the Vice Foreign Minister? All will be answered in the next episode of Parental Control: Special Edition. So tune in next time!
A. N.: Whew! And it is done! I hope you guys found it funny, and the next update will hopefully come sooner. Anyways, please review and tell me what you think!