DISCLAIMER: I still lack the necessary ownership rights for Evangelion, so until I do it belongs to the entities who rule of law have determined possess it.
It should go without saying a dozen chapters in, but this story is a LEMON! So, all of you who want to read copious amounts of adults-only situations continue. Everyone else don't.
Standard:
"This" is speech.
'This' is thoughts.
"This" is memories
"This" is weird Angel telepathy
Pathos
Katsuragi Apartment: Evening
The mood in the Katsuragi household was cheerful and lively as the namesake purple-head and her two wards gathered to sit around the kitchen table.
Asuka Langley Sohryu, Second Child and designated pilot of Unit-02 had just set a pot of German Kartofelsuppe on the table, while Shinji Ikari with his mitted hands opened the oven to fill the apartment with the unmistakable smell of freshly baked pumpernickel. Where Shinji had found the rye flour to make the famous German bread she had no idea, since even in the best of times rye flour was uncommon in Japan, let alone the course ground needed for pumpernickel.
She opened the lid and closed her eyes as the hearty aroma filled her nostrils with warmth and nostalgia. Memories of home and family flooded her mind's eye, as she reached out and grabbed the warm hand of the one who'd helped her to learn how to just be Asuka.
"Smells good liebling." The German redhead said as Shinji put a plate with the freshly sliced and visibly steaming dark bread next to the soup pot.
"Yeah!" Misato said excitedly as she finished downing her second beer of the evening in what had to be a new record. "Sure does!" The NERV Major said as, without missing a beat she tossed her empty can into the trash and held up her soup bowl expectantly to the resident chef, a broad smile covering her face.
Shinji smiled wordlessly and began ladling soup into everyone's bowls, even Pen Pen's, before retrieving another beer and a can of soda from the fridge for the two women in his life before the three people and one warm-water penguin dug into their meals.
The three roommates all had different methods when it came to their dinner. Shinji opted for the traditional approach of eating spoonsful of soup while intermittently taking a bite of bread. Asuka on the other hand tore her bread into pieces, tossed them into the soup to cool it, before ferociously devouring it as fast as her hands and mouth would move. While Misato alternated between taking a swig of cold beer and spoon of hot soup that made one wonder how the nerves connecting her teeth to her mouth still had any feeling. Pen Pen mostly picked at the soup but enthusiastically ate the dark bread Shinji had placed to the side, washing it down with his own can of Yebisu.
Asuka naturally was soon done with her bowl and with another piece of bread hurriedly sopped up all the last bits of vegetable and broth that remained. She wasn't sure if the flavors were like her mother's or not. Truth be told she couldn't really remember; the taste and smell were like a phantom in her consciousness.
What wasn't a phantom however was her stomach telling her she was still hungry as her eyes informed her that her soup was gone and not a morsel remained. Likewise, across the table Misato made a horrifying discovery.
"Shinji!" Both women called out at the same time, Asuka holding her empty bowl to Shinji while Misato's hand shook her can from which all the beer had "magically" evaporated.
"Uhhh…" The seated baka hesitated as his eyes darted between his two human roommates.
"Hmpf!" Asuka harrumphed impatiently as she got up from her chair, stood in front of Shinji, empty bowl in her hands, before spinning around and planting herself squarely on Shinji's lap. Her legs were parallel to the side of the table and their eyes were looking into the other's before she turned her face away and she began ladling soup into her own bowl before turning her attention back to the baka she was sitting on.
"More soup baka?" Asuka asked in her most seductive voice and pushing her chest much closer than necessary to Shinji's face to retrieve his still half full bowl.
Shinji merely nodded as Asuka, giggling in her blue skirt and sleeveless top ladled some more soup for her Shinji.
"Thank you Asuka." he said as she put the full bowl down in front of him.
"You're welcome baka." Asuka said as she snatched a kiss from his lips before she picked her own bowl of soup up in her hands, got a big spoonful of it, and extended the utensil to in front of Shinji's mouth, her intent obvious.
'Ugghh. There must be something in the air.' Misato rued as she watched the display of the two teenage lovers feeding each other. 'Am I sure I want to be living here and breathing it in?' She half-heartedly asked herself as a snicker escaped her mouth as she got up from her chair. Deciding that if there was a pathogen in the air her blood needed more alcohol in it.
Her can of hoppy refreshment filled the kitchen with a popping sound before she downed half of it on her return trip to the table, her eye twitching slightly as she saw Shinji with a napkin in hand wiping away some stray soup from Asuka's pink lips, the two of them sharing giggling smiles that were making their cheeks hurt.
"You outdid yourself on the bread baka." Asuka said as she held a piece in front of Shinji's mouth, only to steal it away and eat it herself.
"Thanks, Asuka, this soup is delicious as well." Shinji said as he gestured toward the pot before he brought his hand up to her cheek, looked deeply into her cerulean orbs and kissed her bare lips as Misato decided she couldn't remain silent and let this golden opportunity for teasing slip by.
"Jeez, you're still at it? You know traditionally in Japan kissing was something as intimate as sex, done only outside the public eye." Misato said as her backside crashed into her chair with gravity's full force as her muscles decided to be lazy.
"So that's why there wasn't a word for it." Asuka absently responded through a giggle as she remembered her language lessons.
"Yep." Misato began as she sat cross-legged on the chair opposite her wards before continuing: "I'd tell you to do it in private if I didn't think it might make you louder."
"Misato!" Both teenagers' faces were red with embarrassment at Misato's innuendo.
"And then nine months after that the apartment would be really loud, and cramped. We'd probably have to move Pen Pen out to make room for the little rascal." Their guardian continued in her matter-of-fact teasing tone, her eyes closed, and face tilted toward the ceiling as she enjoyed the feeling of discomfort her teasing caused.
"Wark?!" Pen Pen responded to his owner in a tone and posture that Shinji could swear looked like he was sweat dropping.
"How could you ever think we'd be so irresponsible…!" Asuka began her pride now allowing her to properly respond to Misato's barbs as the two of them began a heated, though not entirely serious argument across the kitchen table while Shinji opted to remain quiet, the attention of his mind on the feeling Asuka's gesticulations were giving to his lap and how bouncy the other woman's "assets" were in her loose-fitting tank top as she responded to Asuka's movements in kind.
They were so loud, or distracted in Shinji's case, the three of them didn't even hear the phone when it first rang. But by the fourth ring they did.
"Now who could that be?" Misato asked, her tone returned to normal, as she looked across the kitchen to the stand where the phone lay.
"Not sure." Asuka said, some trace of annoyance still lingering, as she looked at the black plastic as it ringed a fifth time.
"Well, Asuka, you are the closest." Shinji said with his awkward charm and a nervous smile.
"Fine." Asuka said as she put her soup on the edge of the table, got up from Shinji's lap and went over to the phone knowing full well the real reason he didn't want to stand up at that moment.
"Hello?" the redhead said rather annoyed at whoever had interrupted her winning a debate with a superior officer. "Ahhh!" Asuka's voice lit up as she began speaking in German that was utterly lost on Shinji and reminded Misato that her own German was incredibly rusty.
Eventually, Asuka checked off all the standard things she wanted to talk about and all the societally obligated questions she had to ask the person on the other end and used a phrase that Shinji could understand.
"Gute Nacht!" Asuka said as she hung up the phone.
"Wow, you were on for a long time." Shinji said from the table as Asuka turned around, thankful his self-control had reasserted itself.
"Yeah…" Asuka began before her eyes squinted and she let out a "HEY!" before diving towards their fourth roommate reaching for the last piece of pumpernickel.
Her hands wrapping around the feathered culprit and turning his orange beak and beady eyes around to face her ire.
Asuka had the words she wanted to say to that alcoholic bag of useless feathers flowed through her mind:
'You thieving bird! Shinji's bread is MINE!'
But she never got to say them as her roughing up the warm-water penguin against the table leg caused her half empty bowl of soup that she'd placed on that edge to fall directly on her head. It had thankfully cooled during her long conversation with her stepmother, so she was spared any burns or scalded skin and was instead left with dirtied clothes, hair, and wounded pride.
It had been so surprising her fingers had even let go of Pen Pen, and the penguin, knowing luck when he saw it, scurried away to his freezer, the bread forgotten.
"Are you okay Asuka?" Shinji asked.
"No" Asuka spat out the word with venom as she looked at the mess that had been made of her outfit before stripping off the soup spoiled clothes with a rage-filled scream befitting of her nickname. "What!?" Asuka asked both of them with her trademarked fire as they looked dumbfounded at her standing there in her red bra and panties.
"Nothing!" Shinji and Misato said in unison.
"Arrgghh, I need a shower!" Asuka said as she stomped off toward the bathroom and Shinji did what was in his nature and sighed before cleaning up. Just as he had finished getting the floor another set of ringing filled the apartment, this time from Misato's phone.
"Katsuragi here." She said as she answered it before her mood turned sour at the news she heard.
"What do you mean they need my signature?!" She began clearly annoyed before hearing something that made her furious. "Before and after the installation!? Is this some kind of joke?!" Before she resigned herself to the mandatory unpaid overtime that defined her job: "Fine."
"Is everything okay Misato?" Shinji asked despite clearly knowing it wasn't.
"Some new spare parts just came from Germany, and they apparently need me there to supervise them since they need someone with enough authority to sign off on them but not high up enough to tell 'em to shove it!" Misato said, venting at her male ward as she got her keys and put on her shoes and jacket at the door before turning back to look at Shinji. "I don't know when I'll be back. Goodbye Shinji."
"Bye Misato." Shinji said as he saw the door hiss shut, before looking back into the apartment.
'It feels so lonely, so gloomy now.' The cobalt-eyed boy thought.
In the apartment's newfound silence his ears picked up on the tell-tale flow and pattering of the shower still running. An idea turned over in his mind, his hand clenched and unclenched a time or two before a decision was made and his feet began carrying him forward.
Asuka Langley Sohryu rinsed the last of the shampoo and soup out of her hair, making a multi-colored swirl of bubbles and bits as the water carried it down the drain and out of sight but not out of mind for the redhead. She stood under the flow of steaming water as she replayed the events in her mind, going over every little detail. Her pride wasn't her life anymore, but still, she didn't like feeling embarrassed, feeling ashamed.
"I made a fool of myself."
"No, you didn't." A voice she knew told her. She wasn't so much surprised to hear it as much as she was surprised that it came from inside the shower. So absorbed she had been in her own self-pity she hadn't heard Shinji open the bathroom door…or the shower door…after he fumbled and damn near tripped trying to take his clothes off, uncoordinated baka that he is. Damn it Asuka you're supposed to be an elite pilot.
"Baka" Asuka said before she turned around to look at her nude lover in the condensation-covered glass sanctuary that was the apartment's shower. "What if Misato sees us like this?"
"She just left." Shinji said as he tilted his head toward the door to the outside world.
"NERV called?" Asuka surmised as she turned around to look at some very interesting droplets form on the wall's tiles.
"Yep." Shinji responded, before spending a moment looking at Asuka's backside. His mind, however, was not focused on that sight, but on the creeping helplessness in his heart that he might not be able to help Asuka, that he'd made a rash, ill-advised decision. So, his lips formed the words: "Do you want me to go?" What seemed like a long silence, broken only by the sound of the pattering shower held between them for what seemed like eternity but in reality, was less than thirty seconds.
"I don't mind being in the same water as you baka." Asuka said as she turned around and pressed her lithe and glistening body against his as her smile returned to her face, happy that he was there, that there was someone who cared. Shinji reciprocated and wrapped his arms around her back to bring her in closer as they stood under the showerhead. He could feel her erect nipples against him, hard despite the temperature of the water, surrounded by the wet fleshy mounds of her chest as her legs sought to intertwine with his own as her cerulean blues locked with his cobalt orbs.
Their locked eyes drew closer to each other as the desires of their lips took over until contact was made and electricity shot through the both of them, carrying with it passion and understanding. As the kiss ended Asuka rested her head on Shinji's shoulder, her long wet locks clinging to his skin as they draped over their intermingled bodies.
"I wish we could do this all the time." Asuka said as her earlier self-doubt and shame melted away from Shinji's touch, while Shinji felt his own worries crash against the fortitude that came from knowing he was worthy of love, that others would be kind if he reached out.
"Maybe we need our own place." Shinji half-seriously suggested.
"They'd never allow that." Asuka responded. She knew NERV would never let their two premier pilots live under the same roof unsupervised. Maybe separately and alone, but for now living with Misato was the only way to be in the same place together.
"Yeah" Shinji said resignedly before changing the topic: "So what'd you talk about?" Shinji asked after a moment or two of silence as their bodies rocked lightly back and forth under the soothing water.
"Just a routine communication you know." Asuka answered dispassionately.
"Really?" Shinji asked, by his tone it was clear he wasn't buying her nonchalant act. This caused Asuka to pause their rocking motions as her mind worked and her mouth opened:
"It's not like I hate them. I mean, they were never bad, but I just…" Asuka trailed off as an image of a monkey doll with its stuffing torn out and spewing onto the ground flashed before her eyes and the words of her younger self echoed in her ears.
"Hey, don't be like that." Shinji said as he lifted up her chin so he could look into her eyes, his face bearing a smile, genuine and warming, that made her reciprocate before turning her face back toward the shower bottom.
"I know…I really just talk to them like I'm reading from a script, but I don't really know them, I don't know if I want to know them." Asuka said as she reflected on what everyone who's had family has felt.
'Does that make me a disgusting person?' Asuka thought, as her mind unbiddenly replayed a memory of her in a hospital looking at the deranged figure that was her mother through observation glass while her ears heard muted grunts and knocks from the next room from her father and the woman who would become her stepmother.
Asuka's lips snarled in revulsion as she understood what those were now that she was older, her mind regretting her earlier words that her family wasn't awful. They may not have been cruel, they may have tried to be loving, but that didn't mean they weren't selfish. Not that she made that decision hard for them, being hell-bent on being grown-up and independent, to rely on and need no one.
"I know that feeling." Shinji said, a trace of bitterness in his voice as his mind replayed again the image of a crying child in a train station. "But at least you have family that calls you."
"Hah!" Asuka let out sarcastically before responding with a question: "Think we'll turn out any different?" Asuka said as she brought her face back up to look into Shinji's blues. Her eyes had that pleading, wondering, in them asking if that's how all people became when they got older, that children end up making the same mistakes in an endless cycle.
"Asuka" Shinji began, his jaw set, and face determined "You're you, and I'm me." Shinji said as he brought his hands up to her shoulders and squeezed them as he looked into her eyes. Asuka smiled, closed her eyes, and nodded as one of her hands went up to embrace her lover's.
The two of them brought their bodies together in a tight hug, Asuka kissing Shinji on the cheek as both let their insecurities be melted away in the embrace of the other.
They stayed like that for a long moment, letting the water wash away their worries before Shinji absently got an idea.
"You're still so tense Asuka." Shinji said as he broke the tightness of the embrace though kept his hands on her body, "Your muscles I mean." He continued as his hands went to her shoulders, giving them a squeeze before he picked up a bottle of lavender shower gel. Depositing the blue liquid in his hands before lathering it, his own hands quickly becoming covered in small, blue-tinted bubbles.
Asuka laughed at the sight but still obligingly turned around and moved her wet hair around, so it draped down her front and her back were clear for Shinji's fingers.
Her lover began working his magic. His fingers rubbing the makeshift massage balm on her shoulders. The bright blue bubbles contrasting beautifully with the dark auburn her hair became when it was wet. Shinji wasn't an expert, but he knew enough to make circles with his thumbs on her stressed muscles while avoiding pressing too hard on her bones.
He worked his way across her shoulders, before heading down her spine and finding a knot in Asuka's lower back that had been giving her a hard time for nigh on a week. She stepped forward into the rushing water, the tensed stress being washed away along with the blue bubbles.
"Danke Leibling." Asuka began, reverting to her native language to keep the surprise for as long as possible, "Jetzt ist es zeit für ihre Belohnung."
'Reward?' Shinji's mind thought as he managed to translate one of the German words, only knowing it because of what Asuka usually did when she used it.
Sure enough, Shinji's intuition was correct and Asuka spun him around, so his back was under the shower's stream and Asuka knelt down so her face was directly in front of his stiffening member as Shinji's hormones began to take over. He felt the sucking wetness he knew to be her mouth on his cock, drawing in every red blood cell his body could spare. Soon after four or five more bobs of Asuka's head Shinji had become rock hard.
Asuka now picked up the pace as her right hand went around to Shinji's backside to grab a handful of his cute ass while her left softly fondled the still lose and wrinkly skin that held Shinji's balls.
His mouth let out a moan of its own to add to the orchestra of the showerhead and slurping sounds as Asuka's mouth worked. Waves of pleasure and electricity flowed through Shinji's body, and he felt goosebumps spring up on his skin as his eyelids seemed to close on their own as his body was stimulated further by Asuka's tongue.
Wanting to give Shinji a proper gift for his cooking and massage Asuka opened up her lips wider and bracing both her hands on his ass proceeded to drive herself down his length, until the tip of her tongue could touch the wrinkles of his hairless sack.
As Asuka was gagging on his cock as the entirety of his shaft was inside her mouth and throat, the convulsing muscles and folds massaging his member her hands absently moved from his backside and felt his balls tighten against his body. Shinji gritted his teeth in an effort to hold back the torrent his burning balls wanted to unleash at that moment, but his mind and its primal lusts yearned for as much pleasure as possible.
After a few more choking-like sounds from Asuka, she finally released her hold. His cock entirely exiting from her mouth as it dragged in lungsful of air in gasping breaths before returning her mouth to Shinji's member and the more traditional bobs of a blowjob.
But Shinji was already too close to take much more stimulation.
"Asuka, I'm going to…" Shinji verbalized with difficulty as Asuka's actions made speaking tough.
In response to Shinji's warning Asuka brought her mouth back so only the tip remained inside before opening her lips up as wide as they would go. A faint 'Awwing' sound could be heard emanating from her open mouth as her right hand furiously pumped up and down Shinji's shaft while her left hand continued to massage the balls of his taut and receded sack. The sight and feeling were too much for Shinji and Asuka felt his cock twitch in her hand as his load shot across her exposed tongue, leaving visible streaks of the white substance and a bitter, though not unpleasant taste, in her mouth. She kept her lips open for a moment longer, her eyes locked on her lover's as he absorbed the sight, before she let out a satisfied moan, extricated Shinji's cock from her mouth after giving it a last suck, and swallowing down the cum he had deposited on her tongue.
Asuka then stood up and put her face directly in the stream of hot water to wash off any stray strands or droplets that may have found their way onto her face and hair.
While her eyes were closed, she was absently aware of a hard mass rubbing itself up and down her ample ass as she felt a hand grab her left breast, twisting the nipple playfully while a kiss to her neck made her back shiver in pleasure.
'He's still hard.' Asuka's mind told her what her body already knew. 'Wunderbar.'
The German redhead turned around and before her eyes could open her lips felt the warm wetness of Shinji's mouth as it pressed on them, his tongue forcing them open as Shinji's strong arms pressed her back up against the wet shower tiles. His leg, forcing her own apart while his right hand lifted up her left leg so his cock could have easier access to her most private place.
As she felt his still rock-hard member pressing against the pink petals of her labia, she broke the kiss and put her lips to his ear and whispered:
"You better enjoy this Shinji." Asuka began, before saying the words every male dreads, "It's almost time."
Now like all lovers passionately enthralled with the other they had in the past tried having sex when Asuka was on her period. The result was…less than ideal. Dark, staining blood had gotten everywhere and ruined so many of the apartment's towels that Shinji had worried that even the apotheosis of mess and disorder that was Misato Katsuragi would notice. Not to mention the sex wasn't even all that good, there being too much, uh, "liquid" for either Shinji or Asuka to derive much pleasure. There needs to be the right balance between lubrication and pressure for sex to be enjoyable. Too little wetness and the woman chafes and is hurt. Too much, and the man doesn't feel he's actually inside anything.
Both had agreed to never repeat that experience again. Asuka could tell she was close though, tomorrow, maybe the day after and she would feel the full blessings that womanhood brought.
She felt Shinji nod slightly as she rested her head on his shoulder while he slowly pushed his member past her entrance, her own juices and the water from the shower making this an easy task and soon the length of his shaft resided within her pussy as Shinji felt Asuka shake in his arms at the feeling of fullness.
Asuka brought her head from his shoulder and up to Shinji's face, their eyes boring into each other, their souls and hearts as intertwined as their bodies were. Both pairs of lips rushed to meet the other in a show of that bond.
Their tongues not battling for dominance, but instead dancing with the other as Shinji began to slowly move inside her, taking a bit more of his length out of her with each slow deliberate thrust until he was ramming nearly his entire shaft into her with each stroke. Causing her to break the kiss and unleash a moan before her teeth found her lip.
Shinji kept up his rhythm though as he felt the softness of her insides press against him and his own mouth went to her neck, covering it in kisses and her body in goosebumps, eliciting another audible moan from Asuka before she found Shinji's shoulder to bite into. Her teeth leaving red marks on his skin, but neither were worried about that now.
The piercing sensation that Asuka's teeth sent through Shinji caused his thrusts into her to become more forceful, her glistening breasts jiggling between them in response. The brown nipples occasionally swiping across Shinji's chest as they went back and forth. Her back was rubbing against the shower's wall smooth tiles, the rough grout between leaving small scratches on her back as her whole body vibrated as the smacks of their bodies connecting sounded in the glass box.
Her arms, seemingly wanting to make the pair of lovers more one than they already were, tightened around his back just as her walls did around his shaft. She could feel her crescendo building in her belly as the pleasure pooled there like water behind a dam, just waiting to burst.
Shinji took his hand from where it was braced against the wall to Asuka's chin, bringing it up so that his lustful lips could connect with her own. Their mouths filled with the other's involuntary moans and whimpers as their bodies became flooded with hormones and their conscious mind became foggy and dazed, focused only on the one before them.
The pressure welling up inside finally burst within Asuka as she reached her peak. Her lips breaking from Shinji's as she let out a loud croaking moan, she was sure their neighbors would have heard had they existed as her insides clenched around Shinji's member.
The sensation of her walls being as tight as they were and seemingly trying to draw his cock in deeper into her was too much for Shinji's self-control and his aching balls, burning for release shot stream after stream of his seed into Asuka's waiting pussy. A soft smile formed on her face and her eyes closed as she reveled in the feeling of his hot cum impacting her fleshy walls as they spasmed in an attempt to milk as much as possible from the twitching cock between them.
After the last droplets had escaped Shinji's balls he withdrew his shaft from her, causing the redhead to shudder as an aftershock of their ecstasy shot through her, her lips covered by her lover's and their arms wrapped around the other as they stepped away from the wall and under the running showerhead.
"Thank you baka." Asuka said as she rubbed her hand up and down his back, while she planted a peck on his lips after their bodies had come down from their recent high. "You know you've got to use lefty and righty for the next week." Asuka added to her lover as she stuck out her tongue.
"You can't help?" Shinji said teasingly as his hands lowered themselves from her waist to her ass, grabbing a handful of each wet cheek.
"If you're a good baka, maybe." Asuka answered, a smile on her face as their lips met again, this time for a longer, deeper kiss…at least until the chill of cold water impacted both their bodies and they scrambled out of the shower as fast as their young legs would take them. Curses and teases resounding as the two pilots exited the bathroom and went to the couch, content to let the TV numb their minds until sleep took them.
NERV HQ: The next day
Asuka Langley Sohryu reflected on the day's events as she waited for what seemed like the slowest elevator in all of NERV. She had had to visit the women's bathroom after the pilots' scheduled synch test, instead of immediately returning to the Katsuragi Apartment, since, while her monthly visit from biology seemed less extreme now that she was on the pill, it hadn't vanished completely. It even maintained its usual cycle, which seemed like a small blessing at least.
She and Shinji had done well during the day's test, scoring within their usual synchronization range. Though she had heard Dr. Akagi lament that both were off their battlefield highs with Misato pointing out that that's probably normal given the difference in body chemistry and mental state between training and real combat, which the faux-blonde begrudgingly admitted.
Finally, the elevator pinged, breaking the German redhead out of her reverie as the metal doors slid open.
Asuka began to walk forward before her feet momentarily stopped as her brain registered who was in the elevator before regaining her composure. Giving a nod to the sole occupant that wasn't returned and walking into and standing in the rear of the lift as the doors closed after she pressed the button for her destination.
The awkward silence, broken only by the sounds emanating from the elevator's mechanisms, dragged on for what seemed like forever before Asuka got up the resolve to speak:
"So, how's the new place?"
"Acceptable, there are no problems." Rei Ayanami responded taciturnly, giving Asuka little to work with in her seemingly misguided attempt at small talk, though thankfully her destination was only three levels away.
"Well see you around Wondergirl." Asuka said as she got off on her stop and the metal doors closed between the two pilots.
Rei meanwhile continued her ride. Until she noticed the elevator panel, and a blinking red light there. She tried to look away, but her eyes kept being drawn toward the reminder. Until, with the searing red flashing before her mind's eye as she saw her hands breaking into the panel, ripping out the offending light. The glass bulb still stubbornly blinking its hateful color as her teeth gritted and bloody fingers tore out the last wires before throwing it to the floor and crushing it beneath her shoe. And as quickly as the vision came it left leaving Rei to ask her spotless hands:
"What's wrong with me?"
The Eva Cages: After Arael's Detection
"The Angel is maintaining a constant distance outside of our defense envelope. Rei in Unit-00 is still the designated vanguard, so she'll take up position with the positron rifle while Shinji and Asuka remain on standby with their Units in cryostasis!"
"Roger!" The three pilots said in unison as they sat in their respective entry plugs.
'Ayanami is going out alone again.' Shinji thought melancholically as he sighed and sat back in the entry plug, resigned to waiting and hoping. Asuka meanwhile was less accepting with her own thoughts:
'Damn it! They're just going to keep holding their best units back and send Wondergirl out every time as a sacrificial lamb.' She understood why their Evas had to be in stasis, probably better than Shinji did, but still. Asuka hit the controls of her Eva to loose some of the frustration building up inside her. 'One of these days, if this keeps up, she isn't going to come back.'
Up on the surface, amidst the torrential downpour that covered Tokyo-3, Rei readied the positron rifle. She allowed the weapon time to charge up as the built-in targeting computer lowered to in front of her face. Her breaths came slow and steady as she waited for the ballistics supercomputer to align the reticules on her display.
Just as the rifle finished charging and the calculations had been completed, the reticules uniting and changing color as a ping filled her ears, a light shone forth upon her, ripping apart the walls of her psyche as Rei Ayanami let out the first of many screams.
Rei absently heard the voices of those at NERV as they speculated as to what was happening and what it meant as she struggled to keep her eyes open, her mind using every wall and ounce of willpower she had to focus.
Miraculously through an effort of sheer determination Rei managed to press the firing stud, unleashing a fully charged blast into orbit. The bolt flew true to dead center of the Angel's position…Only to scatter into more than a dozen multi-colored strands of dissipating energy as the ominous octagon of an AT field appeared.
"It didn't penetrate?" Ritsuko Akagi said in incredulity as she leaned over Maya's shoulder to get a closer look at the data.
"It's too far away!" Misato said as she cursed under her breath as she looked at Rei's psychograph and the critical nature her mental state was in.
"But that was a direct hit at full charge! We can't get any more power!" An exasperated Lieutenant Hyuga said as another scream from Unit-00's cockpit echoed in Central Dogma.
"Rei! Retreat!" The voice of Commander Ikari, uncharacteristically filled with emotion, broke through the commotion of the bridge in an attempt to save the First.
"I can't." Rei said with what remained of her willpower before shrieking as oblivion overtook her.
Before Rei's mind's eye there replayed every memory of pain, every moment of loneliness that rested in the neurons of her brain. This she could survive. Her entire life had been nothing but enduring the sadness and isolation of standing apart from others. What was reliving them all again?
That was what she thought until it came to that memory. She could endure every other hardship but that was too much, and she didn't know why.
"Why are you showing me this?" Rei began as the recollection played in her mind. "I don't want to remember this."
You're lying.
It was the evening of the 14th Angel Zeruel's attack. Her Eva had been far too damaged for her to fight so she remained in the Eva cages. At least until the Geofront was breached. Then, she wasn't sure why, but her legs started moving. Carrying her through the secret tunnels and passages she knew well from a lifetime spent with NERV. Perhaps her human appendages had decided to do something, even if to only bear witness. She found her way to a hill on the Geofront's edge, observing Units 01 and 02 in their desperate struggle. She was tempted, once or twice, to aid with her own AT field. But in the end the Angel died less than a hundred meters from where she stood.
She'd felt a warmness in her heart when she saw pilot Ikari, that he was safe. She felt something else, akin to a bitter taste in her mouth, when she saw the flash of red rush towards him. And something entirely alien a moment later burrowing down into the pit of her stomach.
'He kissed her.'
"Interesting."
Why didn't you tell the Commander what you saw?
"It… would have hurt Ikari." Rei quietly gave her answer to the nebulous voice in her mind as her own mind replayed the question, she had asked a million times since that night 'Why her?'
Why does that matter?
"I…care…about him. He is kind."
The doll has feelings?
"I am not a doll."
You are made like a doll though. An artificial being forced to be alive until your purpose is fulfilled.
"And when it is, then I will be free."
Free? Do you believe that? Do you wish for death, the sweet release that oblivion offers?
"I…don't know."
Yet you distance yourself from others as if the void had already claimed you, and then are surprised when they discard you?
"Get out of my mind!"
Death will separate you from Ikari as much as SHE will. It is the ultimate state loneliness, of vanishing from the hearts of others.
"Stop!"
Or perhaps death could separate him from the red one?
"NO!"
Don't they deserve it? Don't you deserve it?
"Argghh!"
That's not an answer. Is the doll broken? Can it not speak?
"I am not a doll! I am not a doll! I am not a doll!" Rei screamed as she tried desperately to maintain her sanity and sense of self.
Central Dogma: The same time
"Let us go out!" Both Asuka and Shinji said synchronously as they heard Rei's continued screams over their comms.
"Forget it! With this Angel's ability to attack a pilot's mind it's way too dangerous." Vice-Commander Fuyutsuki said as he shot down their plan, only for his boss to voice his own equally hazardous plan the next moment:
"Load the dummy plug into Unit-02 and have it retrieve the Lance." He said behind steepled hands as another scream from Rei punctuated the bridge.
"Use the Lance of Longinus?! You can't do that Ikari!" Fuyutsuki nearly screamed at the seated Gendo.
"But I thought that if Adam and Eva were to come into contact it would cause the Third Impact. We can't take that chance!" Major Katsuragi added in a worried tone.
"So can merely activating Units-01 and 02. But we have no choice." NERV's leader said, with nary a crack showing in the walls he had constructed around himself before he added: "Proceed!"
Affirmations sounded across the bridge as the officers there hastened to carry out their task. Though Ritsuko found the time to mute Pilot Sohryu's mic as she unleashed a torrent of swears at being forced out of her precious Unit-02 to be replaced by a nearly untested machine. However, Gendo's plan was not to be:
"Unit-02 is refusing the dummy plug!" Maya Ibuki said as she tried for a third time to restart the process of getting the system to cross absolute borderline. Dr. Akagi, nearly sitting in her protégé's lap, eyes glued to the monitor, did what she could to help but it was to no avail, her glasses cracking as she threw them in frustration at the offending piece of technology. Kyoko would accept no replacement.
The screams, arguments, and klaxons sounded for nearly a full minute before Gendo, decision made, broke his silence:
"Prep the Second Child and deploy Unit-02 to Terminal Dogma. All unauthorized personnel are to vacate Central Dogma." The Supreme Commander said in a voice that brooked no opposition as Major Katsuragi felt like he was staring right at her as she gritted her teeth in defeat and marched out with the rest of the bridge crew.
"Are you sure that is wise Gendo?" Vice-Commander Fuyutsuki asked as Unit-02 activated and began moving to the shaft that led to Terminal Dogma.
"Wise or not we are left with no alternative that doesn't risk Unit-01." Gendo said in resignation as Central Dogma's large monitors showed Unit-02 progressing through the various gates and locks to the most heavily guarded place mankind had ever constructed.
Unit-02 made its way through the large doors and into the central elevator shaft where a waiting high strength cable let the red mech descend through kilometers of guarded and gated passageway. Reaching the bottom, she passed through even more bolted, sealed gates, thicker than any she had ever seen in her life.
Until the last set of doors opened and Asuka was greeted with the sight of pale, legless, crucified monster.
"What is that?!" She asked in incredulity, even as her Eva's feet brought her closer.
"What we are defending. Why the Angels come to Tokyo-3. If one reaches this inner sanctum and comes into contact with that being, humanity will be no more." Gendo said, giving a frank if not wholly accurate answer.
"Gott im Himmel." Asuka said as the true weight of their struggle, of being an Eva Pilot, finally crashed on her in a way she had never felt before.
"Retrieve the Lance." Gendo ordered, breaking Asuka out of her sense of awe. Her eyes instantly recognizing a twisted, forked, weapon impaling the white behemoth that had to be what she was here to claim. She powered the red bio-mechanical unit forward and grasped at the long dark red object, straining along with her unit's muscles to pry itself free.
"Wha-?" Asuka said as she saw the legs regenerate instantly after the Lance finally came loose.
"You will tell no one of what you have seen here. Now save Pilot Ayanami" Gendo's stern voice sounded over her radio and interrupted the cascading confusion and uncertainty in her mind as he reminded her, she had a comrade to aid.
"Understood." Asuka said as she gritted her teeth and filed all of the questions swirling in her mind away for later as she guided her unit back toward the lift to the surface, hoping that Rei was still okay.
Pilot Ayanami was very much not okay.
"It's unravelling my mind Ikari. It's violating my mind, what do I do?" Rei pleaded as she sat in the fetal position in her entry plug. Tears escaping from her eyelids as her mind, heart, and soul roiled under the barrage of Arael's assault.
None were able to hear Rei's pleas or whimpers though as everything except the emergency life support systems of her Unit-00, including communications and recordings, had been deactivated in an attempt to protect her mind as much as possible. Along with the surrounding city as a berserk Eva under mental attack was not something desired.
Finally, though the red form of Unit-02 appeared on the surface, Asuka holding the Lance of Longinus two handed above her Eva's head as the targeting computer and NERV's Magi supercomputers calculated the optimum angles and power output needed for the Lance to strike true.
Asuka Langley Sohryu unleashed a primal battle cry as the data told her it was time. Her Eva gave a running start before its arms hurled the ancient weapon into the atmosphere, the rainclouds drenching Tokyo-3 banished instantly from the force of the Lance of Longinus escaping Earth's gravity well until it reached Arael.
Archaic mechanisms more akin to sorcery than science that allowed it to breach any AT field activated and the orange octagons that had protected the 15th Angel shattered as the Lance pierced its hide and shattered its core before momentum carried it into a terminal lunar orbit.
Recovery teams rushed to the beleaguered Unit-00 confirming the pilot's status as the bridge crew milled back into Central Dogma to begin the clean-up process.
"Return Pilot Ayanami to Dogma for quarantine." Gendo ordered as he saw the video feed of a definitely worse for wear Rei in a NERV vehicle heading to the Geofront. "Fuyutsuki, finish this for me." He added to the old sensei as he headed to the personal elevator he had behind his station in Central Dogma.
The lights of countless levels passed by him as he made his labyrinthine way towards NERV's more secret areas. His face unreadable despite there being none to see it.
The elevator finally came to a stop as Gendo exited and walked forward to find a seated First Child in the place where she had been made years ago, the old furniture and rusting medical instruments giving off an aura of decay.
"Rei? Are you okay?" He asked, concern etched into his voice. Though less for the replaceable vessel in front of him and more for his own scenario.
Rei Ayanami stayed silent for a long moment, her hands balled up on the knees of her plugsuit, eyes staring at the floor before she tilted her face up:
"Commander…I…"
A/N: This chapter, my God it was hard to write, though I do always hear anything having to do with Arael is. As always let me know what you thought about it.
For those wanting Unit-01 to have been involved somehow, one thing we know about Gendo is that he will not risk it, or more accurately Yui, unless he has no other option. Also, I wanted to present how things could have gone in the show if Asuka had just listened to orders, since Rei was initially supposed to lead which would have left Asuka as the one to get the lance and save her, likely restoring her damaged pride. So ironically in canon Asuka's spiral was caused in part by her own stubbornness.
Also, I realized to my horror as I rewatched the series and looked at the Katsuragi Apartment floorplan that in canon the shower lacks a glass door, it has one of those curtains instead. So, let's just all agree there were some Butterfly Effect shenanigans that got Misato to splurge on some remodeling.