if the impulse is right
you might get into a fight
even though you can't
hold your ground
- Bad Religion
"Fuck You"
Young Lions
(2.93/3)
Perfect Weather for a Head Wound
On the day he should have died, Roy fled his destiny.
The morning after, a group of soldiers caught him near the border. He dove into the grass when they fired at him.
He wasn't fast enough. Trying to get up to face them, he ended up staring down the barrels of their rifles.
Fingers on the triggers. One of them spitting orders at him. Get up. He was as good as dead. He tried to think of something to say, but he was out of breath.
Out of time.
Sorry, mom, I tried -
But behind the soldiers, the tall grass listed against the wind.
None of the men saw the lioness on her approach.
Her sword cut down the man nearest to her. When the other two noticed, she was already moving on them. Her blade slashed through one soldier's arm, cutting off the hand that held his rifle. The next cut decapitated him. That same cut also opened the artery on the last man's throat. He didn't have time to aim the gun before she brought the blade down again, severing both of his forearms. The final strike was the mercy kill that separated his head from his body.
Three men lay dead in the field. None of them were Roy. Though one looked to have been about his age.
She held still for a moment. She surveyed her surroundings. Then she signaled with one hand. Two other figures rose up in the grass. Allies.
Roy stood up, legs shaky. Before he could say anything, she had swooped in and wrapped him in a tight embrace.
He held her too. It was strange to be alive. Over the years, his mind would return to that field where he had seen her kill for the first time. He would wonder what it would have been like to have died back there. To fall and not get up.
Their medic assessed and tended to his injuries. The tactical suit had performed as it was supposed to. It had saved him.
She kissed his cheek. He could see that her eyes were wet. Then she pulled back and handed him a machete. They had to keep moving.
He was no longer a child. He was a man now. He had to protect her too.
"Never leave my side," she told him.
"I won't," he said.
He'd learn more about himself and his lineage some time later, years later, through the eyes of foreign anthropologists and scientists.
What they called magic was actually a mechanism of hectic physiology. It was written in the genes of his mother's bloodline, an adaptation to an unforgiving environment. As a result of generations of life that struggled at the very margins of destruction, the children who survived the cull of each winter would grow on into spring, but grew meaner, a code now written in their blood.
Their bodies had been bred by circumstance to heal from wounds that would kill others born to kinder ecosystems. Their tissue self-repaired at rapid rates. Their bones could withstand trauma of incredible force. Their organs broke down toxins and neutralized poisons, including those that leaked from chemical bombs that their enemies dropped from the sky.
"You were born with an advantage," Snake told him. "There are things you can do that others can't."
"I'm not special," Roy said. "It's just luck. It's biology. I had no say in it."
"No one does. But it's an arsenal you own. You can use it to shape the future."
"Look, man, I don't have any solutions to the world's problems. I'm not a guy who knows a whole lot, okay?"
"Do you like the way things are?"
"What do you think?"
"You can either spend your life being angry about it, or you can change it. That's a choice you make everyday."
A motorcycle was the first unit to pull up. The emblem on the side of the bike identified it as private security. He wore the full uniform, vest, and belt of military police, strapped like he was going to war.
Some beefed up rent-a-cop bullshit, Roy figured. They were deep inside Smash town. He was already starting to guess how it would all be going down.
Terry looked over at Min Min and said, "Maybe you could try acting cute. They might just let us go."
But as soon as those black boots hit the pavement, Roy noticed an all too familiar strut. And a world famous jawline under the helmet and visor.
"Fucking shit."
Terry glanced at Roy. "Hm?"
"You're the one who should try acting cute."
"Um...what?"
It won't save you, Roy thought, but it might save the rest of us.
The officer planted himself in front of the group. He loomed over all three of them. But his face, the fraction of it that they could see, seemed to zoom in on Roy.
"You," he said.
Roy gave a mock salute. "Nice to see you, Captain. Didn't expect to run into you at your day job."
"You need to try harder, Roy."
"Doin' my best out here."
"Your best ain't shit. Who are your friends?"
"Eh, you know, just a couple of innocent bystanders who happened to get caught up with some thugs. Speaking of...you might want to call an ambulance. There are people hurt back there."
"Somehow, I'm not surprised. Do you ever get tired of fucking up, Roy?"
"Hey, I figure, one day I'll get it right."
"Don't think that day's coming any time soon." Captain looked over the other two. "All right, who started this mess?"
Eyes lowered, face half hidden by the brim of his hat, Terry raised his hand. Min Min glanced at him before doing the same.
Solidarity, Roy thought. How sweet.
He pointed to Terry.
He'd been raised differently.
Captain glared at the three of them in turn, lingering the longest on the blonde in the red cap.
But when he reached down with two gloved hands, it was Roy that he grabbed by the collar and lifted up. Before anyone else could react, Captain pitched Roy into the air, flinging him up over the motorcycle and launching him straight into the side of a dumpster.
Roy bounced off the steel wall and landed in a heap on the ground. Face down in the concrete, he lay stunned and motionless for a while.
"That's what I think of liars," Falcon said.
Min Min quipped back, "Isn't this police brutality?"
"You wanna join him?"
"No, sir, I do not."
"Then I don't need your commentary."
Roy picked himself up. It should have hurt a lot more, but he was on pain meds. Strong ones. He dusted off his pants.
Terry tried to intervene with Falcon. "You can't just do that!"
"Does it look like you're the one in trouble?"
"No...but - "
"Then keep quiet unless you want to be."
"That's not how the law works."
"You're in my jurisdiction, sweetheart." The Captain turned to stare down Roy across the broken asphalt.
Roy hunched over, laughing.
"Something funny?"
"Are we about to fight?"
"What do you think?"
"Okay. Just che - "
A full powered Falcon Kick came at him. Roy was slow on the dodge. He caught it in the side. It slammed him into the wall of the dumpster for a second time.
He barely recovered before Falcon hit him with the Knee. Everything went fuzzy and dark. A fist pummeled him so hard his teeth rattled. Roy coughed up something warm and wet.
Training and muscle memory got his guard up, even though he had the mental capacity of a zombie in that moment. He took a few more hits before Falcon needed to take a breath. Roy stole that fraction of a second to grapple with the man. Tried to grab him and throw him, but Falcon locked arms with Roy instead. The struggle was brief before Roy's head banged off the dumpster again. Falcon's elbow nearly dislocated his jaw.
Roy sank to his knees. Blood running down his chin. This wasn't a fight. It was just a beat down.
"Still trash..." Falcon noted.
"Hey!" That was Terry Bogard. Again. Trying to come in between them. "You've made your point."
"This has nothing to do with you."
"I'm not just going to stand here and watch it happen."
Min Min was moving in next to Terry. A surprising show of loyalty between strangers.
Roy pushed himself off the the ground. A little dizzy. But okay.
"Hey..."
The others kept going on as if he wasn't there.
"You best get out of the way," Falcon warned the other two. Or maybe just Terry. "I'd rather not bruise up your pretty little face."
Roy tried again. "Hey!"
"I'd like to see you do it, old man."
Roy made a fist and hammered it against the side of the dumpster. The dull hard clang got their attention. His fist left a dent in the rusted steel surface.
He shook his head. That was a whole lot of tetanus he could have just gotten.
To Falcon, Roy jutted his chin out. "You wanna finish this?"
"You look about finished already."
"I'm still standing, asshole."
"You won't be for long."
"Then why don't you show me your played-out-busted-up-stale-ass-broke-down-geriatric-rusty-ass mov - "
A phone went off. It was Roy's. He fished it out of a pocket.
He squinted at the name and picture on the screen. Hit the green button and put it to his ear.
He held up a finger at Falcon. Just a minute.
His lips were numb, and blood splattered on the screen as he spoke.
"Uh, hey..."
On the other side of the line came a voice he hadn't heard in a while.
"Roy...?"
His heart thumped hard. Blood poured back to his face. The numbness and confusion fell off. He was suddenly grounded. The universe came back into sharp focus.
"Yeah, babe, it's me. Something wrong?"
Easy to picture what it looked like on the other side. A little bit of worry in that voice. Was probably tilting his head to the side in that disgustingly cute way he always did whenever he was unsure about something.
"No... I just..."
Roy swayed hard to the left as Falcon's fist flew past his head. It beat another dent into the dumpster. The other fist swung low at his gut. Roy danced and circled right, just out of reach.
"I'm sorry, Roy."
"What?"
Impossible. He never...
Guard up, Roy took another hit, and countered. Kicked Falcon back. Dropped low under another punch. That fist dug a hole in the brick wall behind him. He swept Falcon's legs. Made him stagger. Hit him twice in the face.
"I'm sorry we haven't talked."
Roy took hold of the lip of the dumpster and hoisted himself up. Tried to put space between them. But like a bitch on wheels, Falcon jumped up and followed.
"Roy?"
"Uh..."
He made the leap to the roof of the building.
"Is this a bad time?"
"No. No. Cool to hear from you."
Another punch barely missed him. This time when he swept the legs, Falcon went down. Roy fell on top of his back. Tried to put him in a choke hold. He only had one free arm to do it with.
"Will you be watching the fight tonight?"
Roy struggled as Falcon tried to out wrestle him. "Yeah," he got out. "I will."
"Please. If you can. I want you to. Right now, I have to go, a lot to get ready for, but..."
Falcon rolled over on top of him. Roy, still at Falcon's back, tried to secure the hold. He was almost out of breath. "Yeah?"
"I want to see you sometime."
"Me too."
"Really?"
"Yeah."
Falcon rammed an elbow into Roy's chest. Roy stifled a grunt of pain.
"All right. So, until then, please, take care of yourself."
"Yeah...I will..."
"Thank you. We'll talk later, okay?"
"Yeah. For sure."
The call ended.
Falcon threw another elbow. It landed just as hard as the first. Roy choked, lost all the air in his lungs. He dropped the phone. He punched Falcon in the face. Then he groped around with his hand until he found the phone again and slid it back into his pocket.
In that second, Falcon got out of the hold. He went to grab Roy, and Roy grabbed him back.
Locked together they both rolled over again. Only to find that they had run out of roof space. They both went tumbling over the edge.
Fell from the roof.
And landed in the dumpster.
In a daze, Roy stared up at the sky. On a heap of garbage. Everything hurt, but he was okay.
Falcon yanked him up by the front of his shirt, fist cocked back. Roy could see himself reflected in the visor of the helmet.
"Disappointing," Falcon said. "You're still a low-tier hack job."
Roy grinned through the blood and hurt. "You still mad?"
"About what?"
"He blew me first."
Falcon's fist knocked his head sideways. Hurt like a mother. But it didn't take him out.
"You need help," Falcon spat at him.
Roy smiled. He threw his head back and laughed.
Falcon hit him again. And again. But Roy didn't stop laughing.
It felt good. It felt like old times.
Falcon was the same good ol' bastard he'd always been.
Then the dumpster rumbled. Metal clanked against metal. Gears and hydraulics went off. A diesel engine was idling near. And suddenly the dumpster rose into the air and began to tilt.
Falcon let go of Roy without ceremony and jumped out.
"Shit!"
Roy pulled himself over the edge and dropped ungracefully to the pavement. Bottles and other trash tumbled out on top of him.
The dumpster had been lifted up by the prongs of a garbage truck. The driver of the truck fell out of his seat, onto the ground, laughing maniacally.
"Beautiful! Wahahaha!"
Roy shook debris out of his hair. He got to his feet.
"You should have seen both of your faces!"
Falcon walked over and kicked Waluigi in the side.
"Ouch! That hurts, you know!"
Falcon kicked him again.
Roy watched silently. They were deep in Smash territory. He should have anticipated this.
Falcon pulled the skinny man up and threw him against the side of the dump truck.
"Hey! Don't get mad at me! I was just doing what she - "
"Captain."
The voice came from behind them. Roy turned around, noticed that a gold car had pulled up. And standing in front of it...
Arms crossed, stone faced. One of the old guard. The only one who ever gave orders to Falcon.
"Don't give me more paperwork than I already have," she said.
Falcon let go of Waluigi.
She went on, "Go inside and get a report from the store clerks. They were the ones who called us here to begin with."
The Captain just grunted in response. With a dismissive wave of the hand, he turned his back on his latest target and marched into the store. Waluigi made a face at his retreating back.
Samus Aran settled her eyes on Roy next. He wiped blood from his chin with the back of his hand.
"Hey, Chief," he said. "Good to see you."
"You look like shit, Roy."
"Yeah, well, your subordinate likes to solve problems by punching them."
"Maybe you should stop being his problem."
"Hey, I'm trying."
"What happened? I heard you weren't ever coming back."
"I'm just a spectator this time."
"That's not like you."
He shrugged. "Things change?"
"Explain it to me after we sort this shit out."
"Yeah, about that one, I swear I didn't start it."
She nodded. "You rarely do. But I know you always finish it."
Her car seated four. She had an assistant with her, a girl that Roy didn't recognize. So there were two open seats left. The bus had long gone, leaving their bags behind on the side of the road.
The three of them had been booked at county and released on bail.
All in all, it wasn't the worst thing Roy had ever been through. At least this time he had bail money and the promise of a ride.
Samus offered the space in her car to him and Min Min, which left Terry to hitch on the back of Falcon's motorcycle. Which made Roy cringe. But it was either that or go in Waluigi's garbage truck.
Roy would have suggested the garbage truck.
"Maybe we should switch up that arrangement?" he said to Samus.
"What's wrong?"
"We all know what's wrong. It's Falcon."
But that didn't deter Terry from getting on the bike behind the Captain. Min Min waved him off enthusiastically. Terry saluted her with two fingers.
Falcon started the engine. "You better hold on tight, buttercup."
"Wha - "
Captain hit the throttle, and Terry nearly lost his hat on take off. The bike tore out of the parking lot and onto the main road.
Roy watched them go in dismay.
"You can't just hand off fresh meat to him like that."
"It'll be fine," Samus said. "He won't do anything. He needs both hands to drive."
"You'd be surprised at the kind of tricks he can pull."
"I'll deal with the consequences if there are any."
The doors lifted on her car.
"It looks like a spaceship!" Min Min exclaimed.
"Yeah, I guess it does." Samus had a soft spot for newcomers.
But when Min Min walked up to the car, she came to a sudden stop.
"Oh, it's you!"
Already in the backseat was a girl, arms crossed, looking away out the opposite window. She said nothing, but she didn't look happy.
Min Min took her in consideration. Then, without another word, she turned and ran for Waluigi's truck as it rolled past. She jumped and latched onto the passenger side door handle.
"Bye, Roy!"
She waved at him and climbed into the seat. She pulled her orange beanie snugly over her yellow doll cut hair. She did not seem put off by any of the recent setbacks in the least.
Some sort of strange optimism. Roy was not used to it.
Waluigi looked at Samus, who gave him a go-ahead motion. He shrugged and turned the truck onto the road.
"What was that about?" Roy asked.
Samus let out a sigh. "Rivalry," she said. "Get in. You've got shotgun if you want."
"Might as well."
She drove like a demon. But the car barely let out a whisper.
The coast had given way to flat desert. Mountains rose up in the distance. The sun had just dropped below the horizon.
"So I take it no one got disqualified today," he said.
"That's not my call. I just send in the report. The board of directors makes the decision. But the security footage backs up your side of the story. It looked like self-defense. No serious injuries that we know of. The board will compensate the business for their damages. You'll all have lawyers for your court dates."
"It's gonna be on the news."
"It's already online. Several people filmed it as it happened."
"Well. Shit."
"The PR department will have to find a way to handle it."
"It's nothing worse than I ever did."
"Yeah, well, you set the bar pretty high."
"What can I say, I'm an overachiever."
"The first aid kit's in the glove compartment."
"What? Nah, I'm cool."
"You look like you got hit by a train, Roy."
"It was just the Falcon Knee."
"Yeah, so put a cold pack on it before it swells. You're in my car. It's a liability for me too."
"Fine."
He did as she said. Ice against his face, he checked his reflection in the pull down visor mirror. She wasn't wrong. He looked like the victim of a mauling.
Behind them, in the backseat, the girl was staring at her phone. Her platinum hair rolled off her shoulders in long twin coils. Her legs crossed in black spandex, white gem studded high heels catching the light as she tapped her foot.
"Samus," she said, "it's going over kind of badly."
"How badly?"
"Well, I'm reading these comments. People aren't liking what they're seeing. They think our people are at fault. And I don't think I can have the footage pulled. There are too many videos up."
Roy sighed. "So, our guys, they didn't start it. But they went all out. And they smiled while they were doing it. They didn't need to do that. Makes us all look like sociopaths."
"Technically," Samus said, "that's not my problem. I don't work public relations. But, keep tabs on it."
"All right. I'll keep you updated."
Roy turned to Samus. "That's new. You got yourself a nice assistant."
"She's a trainee. Don't get it twisted, Roy."
Roy looked over his shoulder. "Welcome to Smash. Hope you get in for the next one."
"Twintelle," Samus said, "meet Roy."
"I'm Roy," he echoed.
"I know who you are."
"Really? I was hoping people had forgotten my face."
"You leave a definite impression."
"By that, I hope you only mean good things."
"Uh." She laughed a little. "I've seen that video of you curb stomping some guys behind a bowling alley."
"Oh. Sounds like you got security clearance. You probably have dirt on everyone in this tournament."
"Something like that."
To Samus, he said, "Where did you find this girl?"
"None of your business."
"I like her."
"She's out of your league."
"I know. But let me buy her a drink sometime."
Twintelle cut in, "I was under the impression that you had given up drinking."
"Is that the word on the street?"
"I've heard things, here and there."
"Did you hear anything else about me?"
"To be honest, they don't talk about you much anymore."
"That's fine. I don't want them to talk about me."
"But I saw something yesterday."
"Okay. Let's hear it."
"There's a rumor that you're making a comeback."
Roy shook his head. "That's a lie."
"Then why are you here?"
"Just here for a good time."
"Hm. I don't buy that."
"I'm keeping a promise to a friend."
"Okay. I'll take that one. That sounds more real to me."
"I try."
It was all he could do.
sometimes i have no sense at all
as most flawed men are wont to do
just say "fuck you!"