Hey there. Long time no see. I'm all settled in at my new place and I finally sat myself down to do some editing and get this chapter posted.
Thanks so much for reading. Feel free to comment, favorite, and follow. I really appreciate it!
Disclaimer: In no way do I have any rights to Supernatural or any of the characters you are familiar with. I only own Amriel and any OCs that pop up along the way.
Chapter Twenty Three: Extraction
Amriel stood in the kitchen of the bunker, making herself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich after having already given Cas his. They were chatting idly, their conversation moving from the things they saw on their ride back to what they were going to do about healing Sam, when the younger Winchester appeared from the other room.
"Hello, Sam," Amriel shot him a glance over her shoulder, "Want a sandwich?"
"No, thanks though. Hey, Cas."
Castiel, who had a mouth full of sandwich, mumbled out a "mm" in response. When he swallowed, he set the sandwich down on his plate and frowned.
"It tastes like molecules."
"What?" Sam asked, continuing before he could repeat himself. "What are you talking about?"
"I had to eat constantly when I was human, you know. It was kind of annoying," Cas continued to frown, and Amriel sat beside him.
"Yeah, a lot of human things are pretty annoying," Sam agreed, amazed that he was having this conversation with the angel.
"I enjoyed the taste of food, though. Particularly peanut butter and grape jelly. Not jam. Jam I found unsettling." Cas looked down at his sandwich thoughtfully, and Amriel smiled.
"He was really picky as a human. You don't know how many times he sent something back at a restaurant because he didn't like it."
"I seem to recall someone crying after she ate wasabi when we had sushi for the first time," Castiel reminded her, and Amriel felt heat spread over her cheeks.
"It was the first thing I had ever eaten that was spicy! I wasn't prepared—" Realizing that she was only making it worse for herself, Amriel fell silent and took a bite of her sandwich.
"So what, now you can't taste PB and J?" Sam asked, sitting across from them at the table and looking between them. "Can you taste it, Amriel?"
"I taste every single molecule," Cas said sadly, "it's overwhelming. It's disgusting… I miss you, PB and J."
"I eat because it keeps my vessel going and it helps me fit in with other humans. When I fell, I could taste food like a human would. As I grew stronger, it was just molecules. But if you focus hard enough, you can piece everything together. Castiel just isn't trying as hard as he could," she smiled, nudging Cas with her knee. "Are you sure you don't want anything, Sam?"
"I'm fine, really. Can I ask you two something… personal?"
Amriel looked from Cas to her charge and nodded, "You can ask me anything. I can't promise an answer, though."
"You got together when Cas was human, but now he's an angel again. How does that work if you're both angels?"
"It's just as it was before," the blonde answered for the both of them. "We're just feeling things out as we go. Romantic relations were frowned upon in Heaven and angels who defied the rules were punished or cast out."
"Just because I'm an angel again doesn't mean I can't feel emotions," Cas snapped suddenly, standing up from the table, surprising Amriel in the process. "We need to continue your healing. We're almost done."
Amriel watched him move around the table to stand in front of Sam, wondering where his outburst had come from. She continued to eat her sandwich, mostly out of habit now, while she watched Cas lay two fingers on Sam's forehead and start to heal him. A concerned look crossed his face and Amriel raised an eyebrow, noticing that Sam saw the look too.
"What?" Sam asked, looking to Amriel, who shrugged.
"N-nothing," Cas tried to be nonchalant, but Sam slapped his hand away.
"You're a terrible liar."
"That's not true, Sam. I once deceived and betrayed both you and your brother."
Amriel held back a laugh, knowing that it wasn't supposed to be funny. He had lied and opened Purgatory, absorbing all of its souls and unleashing the Leviathan upon the world.
"Okay, that's not the point. Cas, just tell me. What's wrong?" Sam stared up at the angel, something that he rarely ever had to do since he was so tall.
"I noticed something. It's um, it's resonating inside you."
"What?" Sam asked, and Amriel narrowed her gaze, wondering if it was what she thought it was.
"Something angelic," Cas clarified, shooting a glance to Amriel and motioning for her to come over.
Rising from her seat, Amriel stood in front of Sam now too, touching his forehead briefly and nodding in agreement.
"It's definitely angelic."
"Okay, so, what the hell does that mean?" Sam was starting to freak out, and Amriel didn't like that at all. She needed Sam to preserve his energy, and he was wasting it by worrying.
"Maybe we should call Dean…" Cas offered, and Sam got up from his chair, towering above the two angels.
"No. He wanted to go, and he's gone. We'll handle this ourselves."
And with that, Sam left the kitchen and Amriel sighed. She wanted to follow him, and somehow Cas knew that.
"Go and talk to him, Elle. I'll start doing some research," he told her with a small smile. "I want you to know that I'm glad you're here."
"There's nowhere else I'd rather be," she answered without a second thought, taking his hand and lacing their fingers together. "Text Dean, though. I'm not sure we should be dealing with Sam alone."
Cas nodded before he leaned in and kissed Amriel once, twice, then a third time, savoring the way her soft lips felt against his. Before things could get too heated, though, he pulled away and leaned his forehead against hers.
"Go, before we get carried away and end up doing something here in the kitchen," Cas said with a grin that Amriel hadn't seen in days, and she smiled too, letting go of his hand and leaving the room to find Sam.
Amriel found the younger Winchester in the "war room" of the bunker, staring down at a book with a look of concentration on his face. She cleared her throat, announcing her presence, but he still jumped when he looked up and saw her.
"May I sit?" she asked, standing in front of the chair across from him, and he nodded. "Sam… I know what it's like to be on the outs with your sibling. I mean, Urim tortured me relentlessly for information I didn't have. Angels killed each other in civil wars."
"Yeah, but-"
"I know. It's nothing compared to the relationship you and Dean have. Cas has told me all about it, and I've gotten to see it for myself. The bond you share is strong, Sam. Give him time, and he'll come around. In the meantime, we'll figure out what's going on with this angelic presence in you."
Sam ran a hand through his shaggy hair, asking how she knew exactly what he needed to hear, and she shrugged.
"I've existed for eons. It comes with age," Amriel said thoughtfully before shaking her head, "But really, I've watched a lot of TV movies in the past few months. They're fascinating, really."
"TV movies?" Sam asked incredulously, amazed by the angel sitting across from him. Cas walked in with a stack of books and files in his arms, piled up to his nose, but Sam saw the way his eyes lit up when he saw Amriel, and it filled him with hope. If Cas was happy, then maybe one day he could be too.
"Okay, are we ready to get to work? I went through the library and found as much as I could on angels. I don't want to interrupt—"
"It's fine, Castiel," the girl smiled, grabbing a book and thumbing through the first few pages before putting it aside and grabbing another. "That book was about archangels, and of no use to us seeing as two of them are locked away in a cage and the others are dead."
Sam couldn't help but notice the way Amriel addressed Cas, whether by his full name or not, her voice always held the same loving tone to it, even if she was annoyed with him. He felt a small smile forming on his lips, and he shook his head, telling Cas to take a seat so they could get to work.
While they read, the angels talked back and forth in Enochian, and Sam was fascinated. Cas would read a phrase from the book he was going through, Amriel would work it out in English, and then they would come up with the translation. It was amazing that they knew as many languages as they did, but Sam knew it was to be expected of angels. He was a little jealous, but he was starting to pick up on some of the words the two were throwing around.
He watched them sitting next to each other, reading through their own books, and every once in a while Cas would look at Amriel and smile slightly before going back to reading. Sam felt like he was intruding on them, and he was just about to excuse himself to grab a cup of coffee when Cas raised his eyebrows and looked up at him.
"I've found something. It's a detail about when angels leave their vessels, I think," Cas furrowed his brow, "It's Enochian, which can be a bit flowery, you know. And the departed shall remain, and the remains shall be the departed."
"Yes, it's not the most straightforward language," Amriel shook her head, glancing down at what Cas had just read and looking it over too.
"Okay, so, when an angel leaves a vessel, they leave behind a piece of themselves? Like… an angelic fingerprint?" Sam worked out what the passage was saying, and Cas nodded.
"Whatever you want to call it, this piece of the departed contains grace."
Amriel saw a look of worry come over Sam, who asked if Cas meant there was angelic grace inside of him.
"Yes, but it's fading each time we heal you," Amriel told him, trying to calm him down.
"Okay. Is that good or bad?" Sam asked, and Cas shrugged and said it was harmless.
"The grace itself might be helpful, though," Castiel said as he picked up a file that was labeled On the Inner Workings of Angels. "According to this, we might be able to use the grace that remains inside you to track Gadreel, if we can extract it. However, it looks like it will be quite painful."
Cas held up a photo of a syringe with a 4-inch long needle, and Sam cringed.
"The Men of Letters believed that you could perform a tracking spell with extracted grace, but they were never able to test their theory," Cas continued, setting the photo down.
"Well they didn't have a guinea pig, but we do," Sam said, his eyes still on the picture of the giant needle.
"You have a guinea pig?" Amriel asked excitedly, "Where? Oh, I've seen pictures, but I've never seen one in real life. They look so soft and kind—"
"Me, Amriel. I'm the guinea pig. It's a figure of speech," Sam told her, trying not to disappoint her too much, but her excitement was squashed and she frowned and said, "Oh."
"Any idea where that syringe is?" Castiel asked, and Sam shrugged, saying that it was probably somewhere in storage.
"I'll go find it. I'm pretty sure I know where it's at," the Winchester was up from the table before either angel could argue, and he was gone before they could say anything else.
Amriel heaved a sigh, "I really thought there was a guinea pig here."
"The Winchesters are full of metaphors and phrases that confuse me as well. You get used to it," Cas shrugged before he turned more serious. "Are you going to be okay with me extracting the grace from Sam? It will probably be extremely painful."
"If it's what Sam wants, I suppose I have to be okay with it. Just promise me that you'll stop before it gets too far. I won't let him die on my watch."
The angels fell silent and Amriel excused herself so she could return her plate to the kitchen. Castiel was going over the file one more time when Sam came back into the room with a box in his hands, and Cas asked the Winchester if he could ask him a question.
"You just did, Cas," he laughed, and the angel asked if he could ask another question. "Well, technically you just- you know what? Yeah, go ahead. What's up?"
"Sam, you chose not to go through with the trials for a reason, didn't you? You chose to live rather to sacrifice yourself. You and Dean… you chose each other."
"Yeah, I did. We did," Sam grumbled, not wanting to talk about this, especially not with Cas. "And then Dean made a choice for me."
Sam made his way towards the medical room and Cas followed quickly, glancing over his shoulder to the kitchen and wishing he could let Amriel know where they would be. She would probably find them, though.
"What Dean did-"
"It doesn't matter what Dean did. Look, I have to put a stop to all of this, Cas. I could've closed the gates of Hell."
"Oh, Sam," Castiel sighed, his shoulders slumping slightly. He felt for the young man, knowing just how much he had put himself through over the years.
"Dean's gone, okay? This is on me now, and if I can find Gadreel… I can fix this." Sam set the box he had found on a table next to the gurney. He was busy taking off his plaid shirt when Amriel walked in, and his gaze shot up to meet her gray eyes. "Being a human means settling your debts."
He handed the box to Cas and took a seat on the gurney, mentally preparing himself for what he was about to do. "Let's start balancing the books."
Cas opened the small box to find the needle he had seen in the file, and he felt something in him sink at the thought of what he was about to do to the Winchester. He heard Amriel gasp, and he turned to see that her eyes were focused on the needle.
"It's much larger than the photo depicted… Are you sure you want to do this, Sam? If at any point you want to stop…" Amriel's voice was full of uncertainty, and the man on the gurney shook his head.
"I have to do this, Amriel. Thanks for your concern though. I know it's your job and all-"
"Yes, it's my job. I should be the one to perform the extraction." Her gaze moved from Sam to Cas, who was still holding the box containing the needle. "He's my charge, Castiel. Let me do it."
Cas frowned, knowing she wouldn't be able to do what needed to be done, especially after seeing how she reacted to Crowley digging around in Sam's brain when Gadreel was in control.
"No, Elle. I'll do it," he said with a firm tone, making Sam look at him curiously. He hadn't heard Cas talk to her like that before, but he hadn't been around them that much so he wasn't sure if this was a regular occurrence.
Amriel stared at him, her mouth open but nothing was coming out. She had no idea what to say… He had never said no to her before, so she moved towards Sam and pulled a rolling chair over to the gurney.
"Fine. I'll be here the entire time, just in case you want to stop, Sam. It'll be best if you lay down," she said gently, ignoring Cas as he walked up to the gurney and set the box on the tray.
When Sam was ready, Castiel inserted the needle into Sam's neck, just below his left ear, making the man gasp. Amriel was immediately out of her seat, standing on the opposite side of the gurney from Cas, looking down at Sam and making sure he was all right.
"Now comes the part that will actually hurt," Cas said apologetically, "I'm gonna begin the extraction, okay?"
Amriel watched him slowly pull the plunger and the syringe barrel filled with a minute amount of a shimmering grace. So what they had read in Enochian had been correct.
"Is it working?" Sam gasped, his chest heaving with every breath he took and a thin layer of sweat covered his face and chest.
"Yeah…" Castiel nodded, his brow furrowing in thought and Sam asked, "But?"
"I need to push the needle in deeper," he explained. "We need more grace to cast the spell."
Amriel was ready to put a stop to this all, concerned that it was going too far, but Sam gave the go ahead to continue.
"Sam, if I get too close to-"
"Damn it, Cas!" Sam snapped, "Just do it!"
Slowly, Castiel pushed the needle deeper and started to pull back on the plunger again. Sam's body lurched and Amriel jumped up, holding him down so he wouldn't hurt himself as Cas pulled out the needle.
"What the hell was that?" Sam panted, staring up at Amriel, who was still holding him down against the gurney.
"Your body is regressing to the state it was in before Gadreel possessed you," Cas explained, and he saw Amriel shoot him a concerned look.
"Do we have enough grace for the spell?"
"Sam…" Amriel said carefully, but the Winchester ignored her and looked up at Castiel.
"Do we or not, Cas?" he asked, and Cas shook his head.
"Then keep going," Sam told him before he finally looked at Amriel. "I need you to leave."
"What? No," she shook her head and looked from Sam to Castiel. "I'm not going anywhere."
"If you won't leave, you gotta promise to stay like ten feet away from me, or I swear I'll do whatever it takes to make being my guardian angel a living hell."
Amriel didn't appreciate Sam's threat, but she knew he was being serious. She looked at Cas and nodded.
"Fine, I promise. Have it your way, Samuel," she hissed, moving to the other side of the room and leaning against the wall near a filing cabinet. "By all means, continue."
Cas didn't like the way Amriel was acting, but he couldn't address it at the moment. Instead, he heaved a sigh and inserted the needle back into Sam's neck, trying to ignore the look of pain that flashed across his face.
He didn't know how long it had been, but Castiel hadn't been able to extract much more grace. Sam had screamed himself horse, and he was nearly unconscious by now. Amriel had held true to her word and remained in her spot, but by now, she was sitting on the floor with her knees pulled up to her chest and her face buried in her hands.
"Sam?" Castiel asked for what seemed like the hundredth time as he made sure he was still conscious. When he didn't reply, Cas asked again, "Sam?!"
"Keep going," was the man's weak reply, and Cas swore he heard a sob come from Amriel's side of the room. His head shot up and he saw her small form shaking, but as much as he wanted to, he couldn't comfort her at the moment.
"Why? Why should I continue?" he asked Sam, who tried to roll his eyes.
"We — we have to find Gadreel."
"No," Cas said as he started to slide the needle out of Sam's neck. "Why must you Winchesters run towards death?"
Sam's hand shot up, grasping the syringe that Castiel had been holding and stopped him from taking it out, "Don't! Don't stop."
Cas sighed, looking from Sam to Amriel and then back to Sam with a soft look in his eyes.
"Sam, when I was human, I died. And during the first few weeks Amriel was with me, she died. That showed me that life is precious, and it must be protected at all costs… Even a life as pig-headed as a Winchester's."
"My life's not worth any more than anyone else's. Not yours or Dean's, or Amriel's… or Kevin's. Please, help me do one thing right, Cas. Keep going." Sam's voice was so quiet that Castiel wouldn't have been able to hear him without his angelic hearing, and what had come out of his mouth had been enough to make Cas hesitate.
But this was what the hunter wanted, so Cas pushed the needle in further, trying to block out the sounds of Sam's screams.
Amriel couldn't handle watching Sam writhing in pain anymore, so she had slid down the wall to sit on the floor not long after Cas had started. When he had started to scream, she fought every single one of her instincts that told her to stop the extraction, but she had to adhere to Sam's wishes.
She thought of every time she had failed a charge in her existence, which had been few and far between, but some of those failures had been monumental and resulted in severe punishments. She hadn't even realized she had been crying until she felt the small droplets making their way down her cheeks.
Covering her tear stained face with her hands, Amriel tried to ignore what Sam and Cas were talking about, but it was hard to tune out Sam's hoarse voice telling Cas to basically send him to his death. He wouldn't last much longer, and Amriel wasn't sure if she would be able to keep her promise to Sam. She would gladly put up with his attempts to make her job difficult as long as it meant he was alive.
Amriel felt like she was being watched, so she looked up to see Cas gazing at her with an expression she couldn't quite read. She merely stared back, wiping away her tears and trying to ignore the smell of blood that filled the air.
She saw Cas shake his head and begin to withdraw the needle from Sam's neck, and he said, "Hold on. This may pinch."
"What the hell, Cas!" Sam tried to fight as Castiel pressed his finger's to his forehead. "Cas. What the hell was that?"
"I've healed your wounds completely," he answered, his eyes locked on Amriel the entire time he spoke, and she knew that he had done just that.
"And the grace?" Sam asked, sitting up and grabbing his plaid shirt, ignoring Amriel as she got up and returned to the chair next to the gurney.
"Well, whatever grace was inside you is gone now. What's left of Gadreel is in here," he held up the syringe and shrugged. "We'll just have to try the spell with what we have."
Amriel heard the Winchester quietly mutter damn it, and Cas shook his head.
"Sam, I want Gadreel to pay as much as you do, but nothing is worth losing you. You know, being human didn't just change my view of food. It changed my view of you. I mean, I can relate to how you feel." Cas avoided Sam's gaze as well as Amriel's, choosing to stare down at his shoes instead.
"What are you talking about?" Sam asked, confused by the angel's admission.
"The only person who has screwed things up more consistently than you, is me. And I know what that guilt feels like. And I know what it," Cas stopped himself for a moment, taking a deep breath and locking eyes with Sam. "I know what it means to feel sorry, Sam. I'm sorry."
"I know," Sam nodded, "We're all sorry."
"You know, old me, I would've just kept going. I would've jammed that needle in deeper until you died because the end justifies the means. I wouldn't care what Amriel would do to me after I killed you, because it would all be part of a larger cause. But what I went through, well. I learned that angels can change, so who knows? Maybe Winchesters can too."
Without a word, Sam got up and left the medical room, leaving the two angels alone once again.
Amriel refused to look at Cas, even though he had just kept Sam from sacrificing himself.
"Elle," he started, but she shook her head.
"No. I don't want to hear it," she crossed her ams over her chest. "It shouldn't have gotten this far. Taking that grace did something to you, and I'm not sure I like it."
"You didn't know me very well as an angel, Amriel. Not long ago I would've had no issues with letting Sam die. Being human changed me. Being with you changed me. I'm still the same Cas you found at the Gas 'n' Sip."
Castiel helped her out of the chair, his hand resting on her cheek and he wiped away a stray tear with his thumb, noticing how she leaned into his touch like she always did.
"I know it hurt you to have Sam going through that, and that's one of the many things I love about you, Elle. You're far too empathetic for your own good, even when we were in Heaven."
Amriel wasn't sure if he was complimenting her or what, but she wasn't going to stick around to find out.
"I'm going to go for a walk," she said as she took a step, backing away from him. "I'm feeling a little confined down here."
"Let me come with you. I'm sure Sam will wait to attempt the spell," Cas offered, but she shook her head and told him that she'd like to be alone.
She watched a look of hurt flash over his face but he quickly masked it with indifference and waved her off.
"The door to the bunker will remain unlocked for when you wish to return, then."
Amriel nodded and quickly made her exit, brushing past Sam without saying a word on her way out.