i decided to keep chap 30. not only that, i decided to write chapter 31! im on a roll! i had A LOT of fun writing this chapter! realy crazy! The gang starts to unravel the mystery of the tournament! this chapter includes subjects like pink miniskirts, hair spray, spell barriers, ice cream, cheesecake (sorta), and ...ya lol. ENJOY, i know i did!

XXXI. NOW The Secret's Out!

Link and Roy were alone again. The girls had left to go see Samus and Marth back at the hotel. The two swordsmen decided to leave the café and roam around the town.

"So, when will the doc find a cure for us?" Asked Link, licking an ice cream cone he bought.

"I don't know. He needs to talk to Zelda about the love dust."

"At this rate, the three days will have already passed."

"But what if the effect lasts longer?"

Link paused. "…Good point."

The two walked in silence for a bit.

"Hey, what flavour is that?" Roy asked.

"Cotton candy. Want some?"

"Sure."

Link handed Roy his cone.

"Mmmm… This stuff is good."

"Hey! Don't eat all of it!"

"Oh, I'm sorry Link. Here." Roy held the ice cream to Link's mouth.

Link took a big bite out of the cone.

Roy giggled. "You've got ice cream on your nose." He wiped it off.

"People are staring at us." Link said.

"Let them stare."

"That's what I was thinking."

---

"Samus, open up!" Peach called though the door. It slowly opened.

"Oh… Hello girls." Samus mumbled.

"Hey Samus, how are you?" Zelda said.

"Just terrible!" Samus wailed.

"Oh Samus." Zelda and Peach hugged their sobbing friend.

"HEY!" Called a voice from down the hall, "KEEP IT DOWN GIRLIES!"

"SHOVE IT FALCON!" Peach called back.

The three heard Captain Falcon's door slam.

Zelda ushered Samus back into the room and sat her on the bed. "Samus, this isn't your fault."

"But, but I fainted and, and caused all this trouble!"

"Samus, you cant help that you fainted!" Peach said, "You can't blame yourself for something you had no control over!"

"If anyone, Ganondorf is to blame. He is obviously up to no good! They can't just disqualify you!" Zelda said.

"Hey! That makes me think… Maybe Gerald and Ronald know something." Peach said.

"Gerald and Ronald?…" Zelda thought back to a couple of days ago…

---

"Zelda, Kirby was talking to me."

"Yes. I saw that."

"He told me he saw something weird…"

"Go on."

"Last night, on his way to the kitchen, he saw Ganondorf talking to the Smash Brothers."

"And did Kirby hear what they were talking about?"

"Yes. They were talking about… Me…"

---

"Zel?"

"LINK!"

"What?" Peach and Samus asked in unison

"It's Link! He's in trouble!"

"What? What kind of trouble? How do you know?"

"I don't know what's going to happen, but… I just know! And the Smash Brothers! They're in on it too!"

"Are you saying that Ronald and Gerald are in cahoots with Ganondorf?"

"Yes, I don't know why I didn't see it before!"

"What?"

"I always knew Link was in danger here, I just didn't know from what!"

"Zelda, this is ridiculous!" Samus said.

"Is it really? Just think! Why would two mysterious men no one knows about just start up a fighting tournament for no reason?"

"Zelda! We're fighting the Master Hand!"

"How do you know? Have you met him? None of us have seen or heard anything about this Master Hand! How do we know he even exists? Threatening Nintendo Land BAH! If he's threatening all of the Nintendo Universe, then why haven't we noticed yet?"

The other two pondered this.

"That does make a lot of sense."

"And the tournament wasn't really set up very fair! Remember what Marth said? The tournament is rigged!"

"But... I don't get it," Peach said, "If there is no Master Hand, why were we all brought here?"

"So Ganon could get to Link!"

"And the rest of us?"

"They're just using you! You're here to make it look like a fighting tournament!"

"So that you and Link wouldn't have any suspicions and just waltz into Ganon's trap!"

"Exactly Samus!"

"Oh my god!" Peach squealed, "We have to do something!"

Just then there was a knock at the door.

"Who is it?" Samus called.

"Housekeeping." Said a low male voice.

"Male maids?" Peach said, as she got up to open the door.

"WAIT PEACH! NO!"

Peach turned the knob and the door swung open, pushing Peach back.

"GANONDORF!" Zelda shrieked.

"HOW DID YOU FIGURE IT OUT?"

"I'LL NEVER TELL YOU!"

"THEN I'LL KILL YOU!" Ganondorf raised his arm and shot a massive ball of dark magic at Zelda.

With all her might, Zelda conjured a spell barrier.

"YOU FOOL! YOU WEAK LITTLE WORM!" Ganondorf cried, "YOU'RE NO MATCH FOR THE HOLDER OF THE TRIFORCE OF POWER!"

Zelda's barrier shattered, and she let out a blood-curdling scream. Her body fell to the floor with a loud THUD.

"Oh my god!" Peach cried, "WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER!"

"She's petrified," Ganon said with a cackle, "I can expect no more inference from her!"

"The same cant be said for us!" Samus said.

"Ooh! What are you going to do? Throw a nail polish at me? You pathetic being! You're nothing without your blaster and armour!"

"You're forgetting about me!"

Ganondorf paused at looked at Peach. "You moron! What the hell can you do?"

"TOOOOAAAAADD!" She screamed. From behind Ganondorf, a short little man with a mushroom hat appeared, as if from nowhere.

Ganondorf started to laugh again. "OH MY GOD! YOU'RE SO STUPID!" he fell to the floor, laughing his ass off.

"Samus, here's our chance!"

Peach and Samus whipped out cans of hair spray.

"TAKE THIS!" They sprayed it into Ganon's eyes.

"OH NO! IT BURNS! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! OH SWEET NAYRU HAVE MERCY!"

"Empty!" Samus said.

"Put Zellie's shoes on!"

"Why?"

"THEY'RE THREE INCH HEELS! THAT'S WHY!"

Samus ripped off her shoes and put Zelda's on. Then, Peach and Samus started dancing on top of Ganondorf.

"OH! OH GOD! OW STOP! THE PAIN! NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Now what?"

"RUN!" Samus and Peach sprinted off.

Ganon, who was now too weakened to get up, decided to make a phone call with his cell phone.

---

"That's weird," Marth said, "So, the Smash Bros. are planning something about Link, and no one can know about it. And they'll kill you if you tell. It must be pretty important…"

"They have to have a reason for wanting Link to win the tournament!"

"Maybe… Maybe the Master Hand will kill Link!"

"And the Ganon would have his revenge! It makes sense!"

"Oh my god! What do we do?"

"We can't go out there. For all we know, Ronald and Gerald could be waiting for us rite outside that door."

"Hey, maybe I can use my cell phone to call for help?"

"Um… I don't think Joe will be of much help right now…"

"No! I mean Peach! I know her number!"

"What?"

"Roy recites it five times a day to remember it."

"Perfect! Give her a call!"

---

"Samus! My phone's ringing!"

"Who is it?"

"The call display says 'Nintendo City Taxi'"

"Perfect! We need to go someplace safe so we can plan what to do next!"

Peach answered the phone.

"PEACH!"

"Marth? Since when were you a taxi driver?"

"I'm not! A cabbie gave me his phone."

"Oh, well, Marth, this isn't a good time for us. We're running away from Ganondorf!"

"Why?"

"We figured everything out! About the whole tournament!"

"OH MY GOD! So have Young Link and I!" We're hiding from the Smash Bros. right now."

"Well, it certainly is a small world after all. Where are you? We can meet up!"

"Ladies restroom, second floor, east side, Nintendo City Mall."

"YOU'RE IN THE GIRLS BATHROOM!"

"Shut up! Just get over here!"

"Okay, we will!"

"Oh! And the password is 'Cheesecake'"

"What?" But Marth had already hung up.

"So, what did Marth have to say?"

"They're in the girls bathroom and the password is cheesecake…"

---

"Boss! We're after the brat! He squealed!" Gerald said through his cell phone.

"BLAST!" The three girls know too!" Ganondorf said.

"That means five people know. That's way too many!"

"Where are you?"

"In the mall, looking for Marth and Link."

"Well, keep ann eye out for those bitches Peach and Samus. If anything, they'll meet up with the other two."

"Right boss." Gerald hung up.

"Gerald?"

"The boss says look out for Samus and Peach."

"…I knew this would never work…"

---

"Peach! This is no time for clothes shopping!"

"Samus, we need disguises."

"Oh, right. What will we be posing as?"

"Ditzy blonde chicks."

"WHAT?"

"Hey, what else are we gonna do with handbags and mini skirts?" Peach said, pointing around the store.

"Okay… you win."

…Ten minutes later…

"Like, okay girlfriend, let's like, go!" Peach said.

"…Okay."

Peach elbowed Samus. Samus sighed.

"Like oh my god girlfriend! I was like thinking the EXACT SAME THING. Hahahaha." Samus did the most annoying nasally laugh she could ever do.

"Good job," Peach whispered, "Now let's go!" Carrying purses and donning more pink than Jigglypuff, the two ran as fast as they could in their high heels toward the east side bathroom of the second floor.

"Wait…" Peach pushed Samus into the closest ladies restroom.

"This is the wrong one!"

"I know! But we need more make-up!"

…Five minutes later…

"Oh my god… I have more make-up than a clown!" Samus said.

"Stop complaining! This is for Link's sake." The two sashayed out of the washroom and once again headed for the east side bathroom. Just then…

"Oh my god Peach, it's Ronald and Gerald."

"Hmm… this gives me an idea." Peach walked right up to Ronald.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Samus hissed.

Not listening to Samus, Peach started to talk. "Like OH MY GOD! Are you like that sexy Ronald Smash?"

"What? Oh, why, yes I am."

"OH. MY. GAHD! Like, can I have your autograph?"

"Why of course."

"Yeah, make it out to Pea-- ah, Pea… Peabody. Melody Peabody."

"Okay. There you are Miss Peabody. You and your friend have a nice day."

"Like oh my god Sam-- Samantha! He is SO hott!" Peach said as they speed-walked away.

"You almost blew it!" Samus hissed.

"Are you kidding? That was perfect! They didn't even know who we were!"

---

"Did you hear that? Those cuties said I was hot!"

"They didn't even recognize me! I'm your brother! How are you any more sexier than I am?"

"Are you kidding? I got all my looks from the pretty side of the family. The rest of the ugly genes we left for you."

"Why you little!"

"You wouldn't dare hurt your little brother!"

---

There was a knock at the door.

"Password?" Marth asked.

"Cheesecake."

"IT'S PEACH AND SAMUS!" Link and Marth rejoiced.

Link unlocked the door and the two girls scrambled in.

"Good god, Sam, what did you do to yourself?" Marth exclaimed.

"It's a disguise."

"Okay, we need to think of something!" Link said

"Wait. Let's see if we're all on the same page first," Peach said, "So, first thing: the whole tournament is fake and just a trap for Link."

"I knew it!" Young Link said.

"Second, there is no Master Hand."

"What?"

"Ganondorf is planning to kill Link."

"Oh, makes sense."

"Third, Zelda has turned to stone."

"WHAT?"

HAH! i lov it. lol. sorry, i sorta sucked at the ditzy blonde thing. hey, what can u expect from a guy? well, a lot has happened in this chapter, ill say that! The only people who dont know are Roy and Link, who are probably snuggling somewhere eating ice cream. lol. well, thats that, hope you liked it. oh, and by the way, back in chap 29, in my author's notes, i meant to sau "I hope some of you HAVEN'T abandoned me." if you didnt already figure that out. hey, can you blame me? it was 5am... and its 5am rite now too. i find the best time to write and update is midnite-5am... weird, huh? yawn, well im dead tired now, so i hope u appreciate this. bigger yawn id better go now. REVIEW! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!

-ciao!