Chapter Four

"So things are going well?" Dr. Case prompted Sara.

"Yeah, I mean, I've been hanging out more with the girls from work, and with Luna now that she and Nick are home. She's actually a really cool girl. I've talked to my mom a few times, apologized for trying to back her into a corner just to move my own process along. Y'know, things are good."

"Any you find the day shift suits you?"

"I like it. At first I wasn't sure, but it really does make it easier to just have a normal life." Sara stopped and smiled to herself a little, "Normal life-imagine that."

"A normal life with the man you've wanted and believed you couldn't have."

"Yeah, there's that. It's more though. I'm just having a good time."

"Is there a reason you're avoiding discussing the progression of your relationship with Gil?"

"Kind of. It used to be that so much of my perceptions were colored by my interaction or lack of interaction with him, now I have so much going on at once that even though things with him are better than I thought they could be, it's not the only good thing. It feels sort of like things got better with him because they got better with me, instead of the other way around."

"And isn't that a powerful thing to know? That all of the things that you allow to skew how you think about yourself are really under your control after all. Once you have that lesson Sara, nothing can stand in your way to true happiness."

High on a great therapy session she bounced into the back booth at Grady's bar and leaned across the table to kiss her man hello. His beard smelled like glue but she still loved the way it tickled her chin.

"Were you at the lab?" she wrinkled her nose at him.

"Yeah, I had some stuff to process, why?"

"You smell like the fume hood."

"Sorry. It was a productive night though."

"Oh?" she wiggled in her seat delighted. "Tell me."

"Greg was the only one who acted surprised. Catherine's eyebrows shot up to the top of her head, but she recovered pretty quickly with a nice, 'it's about time'."

Sara smiled at Grady when he put her order down and then frowned slightly at her tablemate. "Gris? I never really asked, why now?"

They were holding hands across the table and he squeezed hers slightly before letting go so that she could eat. "Everything seemed to be falling into place." He forked a large portion of scrambled eggs into his mouth.

She looked down at her food and considered before meeting his eyes again, "Like what?"

"Like you not working for me anymore. I'd call that a pretty good start."

Sara took a moment. She knew she should probably let it be but couldn't. "That can't be all."

"It isn't." His eyes tightened almost imperceptibly, "Can it be enough for now?"

Her smile returned, it was a patent Grissom non-answer but somehow it set her at ease, "Yeah, it can." She wanted to let him know that she wasn't questioning his motives, just his timing, that it was curiosity and nothing more, but her cell phone pressed for attention.

She checked the display and looked slightly confused, "Hey mom. What's up?"

Grissom connected with her eyes, looking concerned, she answered with a mildly perplexed expression and a shoulder shrug.

"That's great!" she sounded like she was trying to make herself believe it as much as her mother. "Don't worry mom, I'll come help. I have Tuesday off, I'll come first thing in the morning and we'll have it done in no time. I'll call you later okay?"

She waited, told her mother not to worry a few more times and then said goodbye.

"Everything okay?" Grissom asked.

"My brother," here she exhaled loudly before continuing, "He and my mom never saw eye to eye. When I was a kid he started drinking with his friends, smoking pot."

"I remember you told me once that you found his stash, took it to your parents."

"Yeah. Mom grounded him. Dad said 'boys will be boys'. They disagreed most of the time about what was and wasn't growing pains. Dad wanted to let him make his own mistakes but mom wanted to give him structure. He got sick of her rules and took off to live with some relatives in Vermont when he turned 16."

"How old were you?"

"10? Could be 11, I don't remember exactly. He would call dad, and me or write us letters all the time. When" here she stopped, it was still hard to say the words in conversation, "When…"

"Everything happened," Grissom offered.

"He blamed mom. I tried to tell him what a monster dad had become but he couldn't see it. He saw dad as the good time guy and mom as the killjoy. Bad word choice. Anyway, he never spoke to her again and things between us became strained. We grew up in different homes."

"And now he's contacted your mother?"

"He got married a few months ago. He invited me to the wedding but we were in the middle of a big case and I couldn't get away. His wife is pregnant now and she wants to meet everyone, I think she's got it in her head that if she just gets everyone in the same room we'll turn into the Waltons. She talked him into coming out for a visit and I guess he just called mom and told her they'll be here next week."

"Sounds like he's open to trying. He must really love his wife."

"I never thought of it like that, but you're right. That's some strong love to make him forget all the years of hate. Or try to forget."

Grissom touched the back of her hand with his finger, a brief caress that stopped her heart for a moment. She didn't need words to tell her that he felt their love was just as strong.

"Thing is my mother isn't what you would call a neat housekeeper. In fact the place is mostly a wreck so now she's flipping out about this new girl seeing that she lives the way she does. Sorry, I know you got Tuesday off so we could have a whole day together but I'm gonna have to go out there and clean up."

"I can help."

"I'm betting you can find a million better things to do with a day off. Thanks, but I'll manage."