I hope everyone had a good New Year! Welcome to all of my new followers, and to my faithful ones as well! Thank you so much for reading, reviewing, favoriting, and following. I appreciate everyone that's in it for the long haul with me. Now let's get on with it!

Disclaimer: In no way do I have any rights to Supernatural or any of the characters you are familiar with. I only own Amriel and any OCs that pop up along the way.

Thirty Four: Recharge

Hannah had gotten them lost on the way to meet Sam and Dean, and during their delay Amriel noticed that Castiel's health was quickly declining. She was sitting with him in the back seat, holding his hand and tracing patterns on his thigh, trying to figure out what she should do.

"We need to stop avoiding the obvious," Hannah told them, glancing at the couple in the rearview mirror. "We all know how to fix this, both you and the situation."

"I will not slit some angel's throat and steal a grace. And before you say it, we definitely aren't going begging to Metatron," he said with a sigh.

"What about helping your friend and sending those rogue angels back to Heaven?" Hannah asked, "Your preference to die for your principles, while it's very noble, it is meaningless."

"Then you and Amriel will carry on," Castiel told her simply.

"We're not enough!" Hannah snapped, and Amriel saw her grip tighten on the steering wheel.

"Sometimes enough is whatever you have," he answered as his phone began to ring. "Hello, Sam."

Amriel listened carefully as Sam asked if they were still coming.

"We're a few hours away. Is the treatment working?" Cas asked.

"No, not very well. Look, it's not like it was with Crowley… Dean is in pain," Sam paused, "I mean, he's in bad pain. It's like he's barely holding on. Cas, I might be killing him."

"It might be," he told the Winchester bluntly.

"So, what? Should I stop?"

"And do what? He's not possessed. Exorcism is out of the question. The ritual of purified blood is the only treatment I know…"

Amriel continued to listen to the two argue, ending with Sam telling him to hurry before he hung up.

"We need to keep going," Castiel said aloud, and Amriel wasn't really sure just who he was talking to.

The three angels stopped at an old gas station, and while Hannah went to the restroom to freshen up, Amriel watched Cas as he pumped gas. He looked worse than he had only two hours ago, with dark circles under his eyes and a sheen of sweat on his forehead.

"Cas, do you remember what you told me when we were watching the stars outside of the bunker?" she asked suddenly, playing with the red twist tie around her finger.

"Of course, I remember every word of it," he answered, glancing up and squinting slightly, his vision going fuzzy for a few seconds.

"Then you remember when you told me that you planned to spend eternity with me once you got your grace back," Amriel said quietly. "I didn't think you were one to break promises."

When Cas didn't answer, Amriel shook her head and went into the convenience store to grab some snacks for the road. She looked around for a minute and grabbed a few bags of chips and candy, then made her way to the register where she found an overturned coffee cup on the counter.

Frowning, Amriel peered over the counter and found a man on the floor, his eyes burned out.

"Oh, no…" she whispered, turning around and heading for the doors, watching Cas coming towards them. Then she felt an arm wrap around her waist and a blade press against her neck.

"You're not going anywhere, Amriel," Adina's voice filled her ear as panic shot through her.

Cas walked into the store, and Adina greeted him, "Hey there."

Amriel watched him try to step closer, but Adina tightened her grip and she felt the blade dig a little deeper into her throat, but not enough to break the skin.

"I've been tracking you for days," Adina said. "You will be punished for what you did."

"Daniel's death… That was unintentional, Adina. I feel you know this," Cas tried to explain.

"Unintentional? You killed him!"

Adina threw Amriel into a shelf behind her and lunged for Castiel, who quickly armed himself with his own angel blade.

"Seriously?" Amriel heard Adina ask as she tried to recover.

Cas swung at her weakly and Adina easily blocked it, punching him in return, the force sending him into a shelf.

"Just kill me," he said tiredly. "But let Amriel go."

"Stop this!" Amriel shouted, now back on her feet, trying to get close to Cas without setting off Adina.

"Stop, kill me, I mean, so many suggestions. I don't know what to do…" Adina laughed. "I know. I'll kill you, Castiel, but very, very slowly so your honeybunch can watch. Sound good?"

Adina kicked him through the glass door and walked through it, grabbing Cas buy the lapel of his coat and punching him again. When it was clear he wasn't able to get up, she turned her attention to Amriel, still in the convenience store, watching carefully, waiting for Adina's next move.

Amriel reached behind her back, pulling out her blade, and that's when Adina struck, lunging for her and grabbing a fistful of her blonde hair, punching her repeatedly. Adina was a far better fighter, and while Amriel tried to get in a few hits of her own, it was useless. She wondered where Hannah was, while Cas was lying out in the parking lot and she was here with an angel blade held to her throat.

"Attagirl, Amriel, suffer. Just like my Daniel suffered before Hannah killed him."

"Daniel's death isn't on our heads, it's on yours!" Amriel hissed in return.

"We did nothing. We wanted nothing but to be left alone."

"I know that," Amriel told her quietly, "I would want the same thing…"

"Then why? Why did you help them?" Adina asked, a confused look on her face, but her hold didn't falter.

"Because I love Castiel, and he needed my help. I'd do anything for him," the blonde answered, watching Adina's eyes widen before narrowing once more.

"Ah, well, love does make us do crazy things. So you'll understand why I have to kill you," Adina said as she pulled Amriel's head back, placing the blade right under her chin. "You really should have left us alone."

"And that will do."

Crowley's voice rang out, causing both angels' eyes to widen in surprise. Adina dropped Amriel to the ground, and the blonde watched her attacker walk over to the demon, presumably to attack him too.

She didn't get the chance, though. Crowley pulled out an angel blade and slit her throat before Adina could even say a word. Amriel watched as grace leaked out of the cut, flowing into a vial that Crowley was holding in his right hand. Once the vial was full, he stabbed Adina in the heart, watching as her body fell to the floor, dead.

"Why can't you people just sit on clouds and play on harps like you're supposed to?" he asked as he capped the vial and walked out of the store.

Amriel scrambled to her feet and ran after him, where she saw Hannah standing a few yards away with a handful of bloodied paper towels. Apparently she had been taking care of Cas while she was being beaten to a pulp.

Crowley held the grace near Castiel's mouth, and Amriel could only watch as he leaned away, refusing to accept another stolen grace.

"Don't be an idiot," Crowley chided. "Yes, it's hers, but she was killing your girlfriend. Your hands are clean, and as much as it pains me to say this, you're useless to me dead."

She watched the grace flow into Castiel's mouth, his body lighting up and his injuries healing, and she couldn't help but smile to herself. She would have him for a bit longer now, until she could find his true grace.

"You owe me," Crowley said to Cas, who was standing now.

"Why did you help me?" he asked, his eyes focused on the demon.

"Purely business. Since you're five miles away from the Winchester's Clubhouse, I can only assume that you're headed there," Crowley said in a bored tone. "And that Dean has become a handful. Having him as a demon has caused me nothing but grief. Fix the problem."

"You realize, worst comes to worst, that means killing him," Cas told him, and Crowley shrugged.

"I'm not sentimental," the demon said, then walked away without another word.

After a tense, quiet car ride to the bunker, Cas told Hannah and Amriel to stay in the vehicle while he went inside.

"What? Cas, I'm coming in with you," Amriel tried to argue, but he cut her off.

"Sam texted me and said that Dean is in there. I can't risk your safety, so please, just stay out here. You're already injured as it is," he said, reaching out and letting his fingers trace the bruises lining her cheek and jaw. "Just stay and heal."

Amriel merely nodded, not really wanting to be left with Hannah, but understanding where he was coming from. He couldn't focus on stopping Dean if he was worried about something happening to her. Dean was a demon. Who knew what he would do if he got cornered.

"Be careful," she answered quietly, watching him nod in response before getting out of the car and heading into the bunker.

"And then there were two," Hannah said from the back seat, and Amriel merely sighed.

"What were you doing the entire time Adina was beating the crap out of me and Cas?" the blonde asked, turning to face her fellow angel.

"I— I was just freshening up…" Hannah stuttered, causing Amriel to narrow her eyes. "Okay, I was reading a fashion magazine. You wear things that I saw in the magazine, and I wanted to know more about clothes."

Amriel felt something click in her mind, and she understood Hannah now. She was lost, just like she had been before finding Cas. Hannah just wanted to fit in, and Amriel hadn't even given her a chance.

"I get it, Hannah," she finally said. "You want to fit in with the humans. I was… I'm the same way. It's hard, I know how you're feeling."

"Do you, though? You have Castiel by your side! He loves you as you do him. What do I have?" Hannah asked, a bitterness in her voice that Amriel picked up on and made her frown.

"You have us, Hannah. We're your friends." The blonde was trying to get through to her, but it didn't seem like it was working. "What else is on your mind?"

"N-nothing, it's stupid," Hannah answered quickly, and Amriel noticed that she wouldn't look at her.

"Hannah, you can tell me. I promise I won't judge you or anything," Amriel tried again, watching as Hannah shifted nervously before finally raising her gaze to meet her own.

"Don't be upset with me," Hannah started before she took a deep breath, exhaling before she continued, "But I think I have feelings for Castiel."

Amriel froze, unable to comprehend what Hannah had just told her.

"You what?" she finally asked once she found her voice again.

"I don't know what I'm feeling, since this has never happened to me before..." Hannah rambled, "I feel warm whenever I'm near him, and hearing him speak makes me want to smile."

"Hannah-" Amriel started, but the brunette cut her off.

"I know that you two are together, which is why I wanted to keep it to myself."

Amriel didn't know what to say. There was nothing to say, really. She stared down at her hands, feeling incredibly awkward in that moment. Thankfully her phone vibrated and she saw that it was a text from Cas, telling her that she should come in because they had Dean tied up and were going to continue the blood therapy.

"Cas says they have Dean secured. Do you want to come?" Amriel asked, wanting to extend the offer to the brunette to show that she felt nothing bad towards her after her admission.

"No, it's alright. I'll stay out here and do some more reading," Hannah said as she pulled a stack of magazines out from under the seat, a small smile on her face.

Amriel nodded and got out of the car, closing the door behind her and heading into the bunker, where she found Sam and Cas standing while Dean was strapped to a chair, unconscious.

She noticed needle marks in Dean's arm near the Mark of Cain, and she looked between Cas and the younger Winchester, waiting for an explanation.

"We gave him all this blood, and he still said he didn't want to be cured— that he didn't want to be human," Sam told her. "What the hell are we doing to him?"

"I see his point," Cas said. "You know, only humans can feel real joy, but also such profound pain. This is easier."

Amriel took his words into consideration, wondering if that's how he felt. If he preferred being an angel again because he didn't have to feel as much as he did as a human.

She had to push the thought aside as Dean woke up, his eyes black for a few seconds before dissipating quickly. Sam unscrewed the cap of the flask he had been holding, as Dean groaned and looked around to gather his surroundings.

"You guys look worried," Dean finally said, and Sam splashed some holy water into his face, smiling when nothing happened.

"Welcome back, Dean," Sam answers, relief evident in his voice.

Cas and Amriel were in the library while Sam was talking with Dean elsewhere, and Amriel was watching Cas as he thumbed through the book on demonic possession before picking up the Practitioner's Guide to Exorcism and looking through that.

"Hey, about what you said to Sam earlier…" Amriel started, and Cas looked up from the book, now focused on her. "Do you think it's easier to be an angel again because you don't have to experience all the emotions you did as a human?"

She didn't want to show how much his statement had affected her. Amriel knew she was being ridiculous— she had never even been a human. How would she know what it was like?

Castiel narrowed his gaze, squinting at the blonde slightly as he set the book down and moved his chair so he was closer to her. He took both of her hands in his and stared her straight in the eyes as he said, "I only wish I was still human so I could feel my love for you purely and without this stolen grace. Feeling emotions as a human was probably the most profound experience I've ever had, and that's because of you, Elle."

Amriel wanted to say something, anything in return to let him know she felt the same way, but Sam walked into the room, greeting the angels with a "hey."

With his hands still holding Amriel's, Cas looked up and asked how Dean was doing.

"He's uh… He's still a little out of it, but better, I think. I mean, this whole thing with the blood cure, and the, well, all of it, really wrecked him, you know?"

The angels nodded, both understanding what he was saying. Dead had certainly been through a lot.

"On the plus side," Sam said with a slight smile, "He's hungry again, so I'm just gonna go pick him up a big ol' bag of crap food and stuff it in his face myself. You guys mind keeping an eye on him?"

"Sure, but Sam, you realize that while one problem is solved, another remains," Cas told him. "Dean is no longer a demon, that's true. But the Mark of Cain… That, he still has, and sooner or later, that's going to be an issue."

"You know what, Cas? I'm beat, man. One battle at a time, you know? So I'm just gonna grab my brother some cholesterol, and then I'm gonna get drunk," Sam said with a sigh, then nodded to Amriel and left the bunker.

"Do you want to go check on Dean?" Amriel asked once she heard the Impala leave, signaling that Sam was on his way into town.

"Yes, but first there's something I need to apologize to you for," he said, and Amriel sent him a confused look. "I shouldn't be so ready to give up. I'm not happy that an angel had to die so I could live, but I'm glad Crowley showed up. I'm glad I get more time with you."

"I accept your apology," Amriel answered with a small smile, "Just don't do it again. I'd be lost without you, Cas. Now come on, let's go see how Dean's doing."

She got up and held out her hand, smiling when Cas took it, and together they walked to Dean's room. The blonde knocked on the door gently, opening it when she heard Dean on the other side. She opened the door and let Cas go in first and told the Winchester that he looked terrible.

"You know, it wouldn't kill you to lie every now and again," Dean said with a laugh.

"No, it wouldn't kill me," Cas answered, "I just… You…"

"Forget it," Dean interrupted him, "You, on the other hand, you're looking good. So, are you back? Is he back?"

Amriel shrugged and nodded to Cas, signaling for him to explain.

"At least temporarily, it's a long story. Crowley, stolen grace. One of our former followers is outside in the car…" Dean stared at him blankly, and Cas shook his head, "Another time."

"Well, thank you for, um… Stepping in when you did," Dean pivoted, changing the subject quickly, "What did Sam say? Does he want a divorce?"

"I think Sam knows that whatever you said or did, it wasn't really you," Amriel reassured him, "It certainly wasn't all you."

"I tried to kill him, Amriel," Dean sighed, and she looked to Cas and saw him frowning.

"Dean, you two have been through so much. Look, you're brothers. It'd take a lot more than trying to kill Sam with a hammer to make him want to walk away," Castiel told him and Amriel saw Dean roll his eyes.

"You realize how screwed up our lives are that that even makes sense?" Dean asked, earning a laugh from Cas. "I'm glad you two are here. It's nice to see familiar faces."

"We should let you rest… Sam should be back with food soon," Amriel said, "I believe he's bringing beer, too."

"And Dean, maybe you should take some time before you get back to work. Allow yourself to heal. It's, uh… I don't know," Cas fumbled with his words, "The timing might be right. Heaven and Hell… They seem reasonably back in order. It's quiet out there."

"I'll take time off when I'm dead. You two, on the other hand, need to be careful," Dean said sternly, and the angels nodded simultaneously before turning to leave. "Amriel, could you stay a minute?"

Amriel stopped and turned to face Dean before looking back at Cas, who nodded and left the room.

"Be real with me, Blondie. Is Cas back to his old self?" Dean asked, staring her down from his seat on his bed.

"The grace he has now won't sustain him," she said quietly, unsure if Castiel was outside listening or not. "It'll be a few weeks, maybe a month or two before he needs a new one. You didn't see him, Dean. He was literally moments away from dying, and he.. he was just going to accept it."

Amriel paused, taking a deep breath and sitting down on the bed beside Dean, looking at him as she spoke quietly, "When Crowley showed up and slit Adina's throat… I was relieved. Please, don't tell him I said that. He was so stubborn, Dean. I didn't want to watch him die."

"There's nothing wrong with that," Dean told her with a sympathetic smile, "You're still looking for his actual grace, right?"

"Yeah, but I haven't gotten any closer to finding it. I think Metatron hid it away somewhere, and I was going to make a deal to get it out of him—"

"But Cas stopped you, didn't he?" Dean interrupted, and Amriel nodded. "Typical. He'll do anything for you but won't take any help in return."

"I believe he's said the same thing about you," the blonde said with a smile, getting up as she continued, "Take his advice, though. Rest, recover, take care of yourself."

"Only if you take care of him… I know I'm not always there when he needs me, but you are," Dean said quietly, and Amriel set a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it in a reassuring manner.

"I will, Dean. I promise."

Amriel found Cas leaning over the table in the library, his eyes scanning over everything that Sam had laid out earlier. He seemed so focused, so intent on whatever he was reading, and Amriel couldn't help but stop and admire him. She noticed the tension in his shoulders and frowned, wondering why he was as tense as he was.

"Hey," she finally said, making her presence known. Cas turned to face her, and she saw his eyes light up when he looked at her. She felt her heartbeat increase, and she sent him a smile. "Do you want to head out?"

"I'd like to wait for Sam to come back… I don't think Dean should be left alone," Castiel answered, "Is that okay?"

"Of course, Cas," she nodded, "I'll just text Hannah and let her know we'll be a bit longer. She's doing some… research in the car."

Amriel pulled her phone out of her pocket and sent a quick text to Hannah before turning her attention back to Cas. She pressed a kiss to his cheek, asking what he was looking over.

"Just some of the research Sam had been compiling about the Mark of Cain. We still have to deal with that, even though Dean is no longer a demon," Cas sighed.

"I'm sure Sam can figure out how to remove or transfer it. He's pretty smart," she told him, "But if he does need our help, he'll ask. Want to play cards until he gets back?"

The pair played gin until the door to the bunker opened and they heard Sam's heavy footsteps as he came down the stairs, a few bags of what smelled like hamburgers in his hand.

"Oh, hey guys. You didn't have to wait for me to get back," he told them, setting the bags on the table and looking at what they were playing.

"We just wanted to make sure Dean has someone here with him," Cas answered as Amriel began to pick up the cards and put them back into their box.

"Yeah, but we should get on the road soon," Amriel continued, glancing up at Sam, "Please, let us know if you need anything. We're just a call or text away, and you know we'll drop whatever we're doing to help."

Sam scratched the back of his neck nervously, letting out a chuckle, saying that he knew. The two angels got up from their seats, and Amriel was quick to give her charge a tight hug, careful of his arm. She was a little disappointed when he didn't hug her back like he usually did, and when she pulled away she saw him tear his gaze away from Cas, who looked like he was holding himself back from saying something.

The Winchester shook hands with Castiel and gave him a quick, forced hug, and with that, the two left the bunker and got back into the car, where Hannah was on her fourth magazine.

"What was that all about?" Amriel asked as they got on the road, watching Cas as he maintained his focus on driving.

"I don't know what you mean," he answered bluntly, and Amriel knew he was lying.

"C'mon, I saw the way you looked at Sam before we left. What was that?" she pressed, watching his jaw clench slightly.

"I don't like when he's close to you like that. I don't want him getting the wrong idea and kissing you again, even after I warned him—"

"You what?" Amriel cut him off, "When did this happen?"

"The morning after you told me about it. I gave him a warning, and I think he understood. But you never know. Sam and Dean have a habit of bedding many women…" Cas trailed off, realizing that he was only digging himself into a deeper hole.

"So you think I would have sex with Sam? He's my charge, Castiel," the blonde hissed, turning away from him and staring out the window, trying to ignore Hannah's gaze on her. "I would never betray you in that way."

She crossed her arms over her chest, angry that he would even say something like that to her.

"Elle, I didn't mean it like that," he tried to explain. "I know you wouldn't. But Sam… He's already kissed you. Who's to say he wouldn't try something else?"

Hannah gasped from the back seat, and Amriel saw the brunette put her hand over her mouth in the visor mirror.

"I made it very clear that he had been inappropriate, Castiel," she answered, refusing to use his nickname. "And apparently you did too. We can discuss this later, when you're not operating heavy machinery."

The car fell silent, the sounds of the pop-rock on the radio station filling the void, as Amriel stared out the window, squeezing her arms tightly as she tried not to cry. She and Cas had never argued like this before.

A few minutes passed before Hannah spoke up, saying that another angel had called while they were in the bunker.

"He told me that there are nearly a dozen angels on Earth that don't want to return to Heaven, like Daniel and Adina," Hannah said. "Our mission is to find them and take them home."

Home. Amriel frowned to herself. Heaven certainly didn't feel like home anymore.