Chapter 14

It was rainy and the chill soaked through the peoples' mourning clothes the Thursday they buried Captain Maureen Stanfield. Typical of police funerals, regardless of her rank, the police bureau, fire department, and politicians had turned out en force. The public lined the streets for miles watching the latest homage to a fallen policewoman. Unfortunately, it had only been a month or so since the last of these passages. The horse drawn carriage was an antiquated touch to the very proper and dark funeral of an honored and decorated police Captain. Her husband and two daughters walked slowly behind the carriage, dressed completely in black. Other family members and those from her squad followed behind. The church service was lengthy with many different people speaking, including her co-workers and the Chief of Detectives of course. But also, the ex-hooker who became a social worker thanks to Captain Stanfield's intervention early in her career. Her former partners spoke of a woman who cared deeply about the people whom she was sworn to protect, who never cared for the politics and always was looking for the best solution for the people involved, not the easy way out. There wasn't a dry eye in the place by the time the older daughter got up to honor her mother. It was clear to everyone present this woman was both intelligent and bound by integrity, but even more important she cared deeply for other people. She shared their pain, just as she shared their joy. She was truly one of those rare souls that makes a difference in her little corner of the world. She would be missed.

Bobby and Alex sat towards the back of the church with Mike and Carolyn. Tears streaked down Alex's face. It wasn't the first funeral she had attended since her husband's, but it was certainly the one that struck closest to her heart. They had been cleared by IAB of any wrongdoing in the deaths of the police officers, and Captain Stanfield, but the further investigation into their breaking of frat regs had been placed on hold, pending the resolution of the "Badge Killer" as the press had dubbed him. They were being crucified in the press for their relationship and how it had led to further retaliation by the perpetrator. In addition, their colleagues were exiling them to a degree that was truly splitting Alex's heart. Bobby had been an outcast before to some degree, but Alex had always been accepted and part of the team. Now they were neither. And they couldn't turn to each other for consolation. Other than the funeral, and the case, they had been told that absolutely no other fraternization was to occur until the situation was resolved.

They had decided together to go to the wake of Captain Stanfield. They needed to make their condolences. It was not their usual practice to attend wakes of police officers, unless they knew them personally, but in this case, they felt they needed to go and let the family know how sorry they were. Mike and Carolyn tried to talk them out of it, thinking it was bound to get ugly. They were all concerned that it might cause the family even more pain, and of course they didn't want that. Bobby and Alex planned to go the family's home, extend their sympathies and let them know they would solve this case, and leave. It was terrifying to think of having to see those children and the husband left behind. But they felt like cowards if they didn't go.

So here they were, standing at the small white picket gate that led up to the house. There were so many people there they had to park blocks away and walk. Alex's stomach was doing triple flips, and she was concerned she might throw up right there on the sidewalk. When she took Bobby's arm, he looked down at her and nodded, and without a word, they both pushed through the gate and walked up the stoop.

A low murmur was heard outside the house, and when they walked through the door, the murmur started silencing itself in a wave. First those closest to the door stopped talking, and then as others turned to look, they stopped talking, until almost everyone was staring at them silently. It was a sea of dark silent blue staring back at Bobby and Alex. Alex wanted to disappear, but instead set her shoulders firmly and releasing Bobby's arm pushed through the now silent crowd looking for the family. Bobby followed behind, looking everyone in the eye. Not dropping his eyes for a second. They were not guilty, and they were not ashamed of their relationship, and he was not going to let them treat either Alex or himself like they were. Alex walked up to where the Brent Stanfield stood, alongside his older daughter Christine. The younger daughter had gone to bed. The four people caught up in this madman's web of pain stood facing each other: two that were somehow instigating his actions, and two that recently were feeling the pain of those actions: none to blame, and all in pain.

Clearing her throat and pushing down her nausea, Alex spoke up first. "Mr. Stanfield, Miss Stanfield, we aren't staying," she rushed to get out before they asked them to leave. "We just wanted to let you know how sorry we are for everything that has happened. Despite everything, we will keep looking for Captain Stanfield's killer. We won't stop, ever," her voice started to crack as her emotions got the better of her.

Stanfield's hand shot up as he motioned for her to stop. "Please Detective. There has been enough pain for everyone here. I don't hold you responsible for Maureen's death, and neither do my daughters. We understand that this man, this animal, has killed hundreds of cops across the country before he set his sights on Maureen. There was no way of knowing which cop would be next, or even if there would be a next. My understanding is that there has been no pattern, nothing to link him with the victims. I have even learned that your own husband was killed by this madman. We have something in common Detective," he smiled down at her with unshed tears in his eyes. "If you have found love again after your husband was killed years ago, it gives me hope that I too will find love again after this tragedy recedes into the past." Stanfield was speaking softly directly to Alex and Bobby, but in the silence his voice carried across to everyone, his meaning clear to everyone present.

Alex sobbed and reached out to shake Stanfield's hand. Instead Brent Stanfield reached for Alex and pulled her into a tight hug, forgiving her all the guilt that she carried with her, letting her know that he did not hold her responsible. Christine, understanding her father's words and actions beyond her years, also went to embrace her father and Alex. Alex sobbed into the man's shirt, relief flooding her body. Bobby reached behind her and stroked her back. Soon Stanfield released both Alex and his daughter and Alex backed away to stand in front of Bobby.

Stanfield reached across Alex to shake Bobby's hand, looking him directly in the eye. "Detective Goren, please find this man, this killer of cops. Put him away…for my wife, for the hundreds of other dead cops, and for Detective Eames' dead husband. And then, the two of you make the life you deserve together, despite what the department determines is appropriate. To find love once in a lifetime is a gift, to find it twice is a miracle. Don't let this case, this killer, or your jobs take away what you both so justifiably deserve. If for nothing else, do it for Christine and myself. Don't let Maureen's death, or any of the other cops' deaths be for nothing. Something positive must come out of this. Perhaps your love for each other is what will determine what that good is."

Unshed tears were in the Bobby's eyes, as he shook the man's hand and nodded his assent. He had never been as grateful to a person as he was to this man before him, haunted by his own recent loss, and still merciful enough to allow Alex and himself to let go of their guilt and follow their hearts.

TBC……Moving huh? Credit for this one totally goes to Renee…she is awesome!