You All wanted SV so I decided to deliver!!! I just thought you needed some
drama, right? Okay so S and V have plenty of drama but the more angst the
better!!!!!
Please Review, okay, things are about to get better...
For Better Or Worse~~~~~ Part V: Jealousy and Rage Total Vaughn Lover
Our story today starts with a fine day in a pleasant park~~~~~
"Lauren, I understand you are working hard to solve the Lazarey case but it's getting ridiculous," Lysney chided Lauren as they sat on a park bench, attempting to look as though they were having casual conversation and not on the topic of a highly coveted interrogation of the murder of a Russian Diplomat.
"I~~~I am working harder if not as hard as anybody else would," she protested, putting her defenses up. "You know that very well. It's only been my first year of marriage with my husband and half of the time I haven't been home. I'm always jetting off on leads and checking up on Sloane to make sure he's not ruining the world! So before you tell me I'm not a qualified enough agent~~~"
"Ms. Reed, calm down, nobody said anything about you not being qualified," Lazarey crooned, almost flirtatiously. It was the only way he knew how to calm down a high-strung Lauren Reed.
Lauren finally calmed down and the redness in her skin had toned down to a healthy pink.
"I'm listening."
"I guess I'm just sore about not getting the I.D on that picture of the female, but of course I shouldn't take it out on you. It's not your fault the CIA doesn't know what they're doing and half the time they're sending agents around the world, chasing terrorists that don't even exist."
Lauren's face flushed red instantaneously.
"Excuse me sir, but my husband happens to be part of the organization who's image you are tarnishing," she put in sounding very curt. Even though part of the reason she was even losing her mind was because she was upset with her husband but she didn't want to subject him to any time in jail. She was away from him enough.
"But it is true, isn't it? You wanted a zoom in on the photo and that their little inventor guy over there doesn't know what he's doing. If he did he should have been able to I.D the murderer and I wouldn't be yelling at you this moment!"
Lauren bit her lip, half in shock. She looked down at her lap when she saw a rollerblader skate by and then made a noise to clear her throat signaling to Lysney she wanted out of this conversation.
Fortunately the head honcho of the NSC bough into that clue.
"W~Well Ms. Reed, I think we are clear on how urgent this is and I do understand you are doing the best you can."
"And?' she prompted, turning her head towards him.
"And I guess I can refrain from putting down the CIA in your presence since Agent Vaughn is your husband," Lysney put in, looking particularly happy to address that fact.
"T~thank you, sir. So if that is all?"
"Actually, I want to send you to see Sloane. I got intel from CIA that in the attending party of the convention with the committee of that controls nuclear usage in Russia, there is a certain man who knew Andrea Lazarey. I want you to get an invite with the party."
"N~No!" she blurted out which made Lysney blink hard.
"Um, excuse me, Ms. Reed, did you just say no?"
"Yes sir," she confirmed, but then added hastily, "but let me explain. The CIA is already sending Agent Vaughn and Agent Bristow to infiltrate the meeting,"
"Wonderful, then you don't' have to go to Sloane. You can go and get an invite from them," Lysney beamed.
"S~Sir, is it possible if I go in to see the man after the meeting? Because I just~~~I'd prefer our missions not clash," she stated as confidently and non-chalantly at she possibly could.
"Having a fight with your husband are you?" Lynsey teased which scared Lauren more than anything because the NSC honcho was not the type of guy to tease his employee unless he meant something by it.
"Sir? Do you have an answer for me?" she asked a bit urgently. She really wanted to end this conversation now, and with an urgency.
"Yes, Ms. Reed and because I'm a professional who understands marital problems, I'm going to take your request. That means tomorrow after Agent Bristow and Agent Vaughn return, you are on the first place to Moscow," Lysney ordered her, getting up from his seat. "So you might want to return to NSC HQ later this afternoon to receive your orders."
"Right, thank you sir."
Lysney nodded, smiling that evil smile that could possibly mean something more. She was surprised he didn't wink at her.
After she was sure hew as gone, and not just trying to mer her believe he'd left, she leaned forward on her hands then let her fingers run through her silky blond hair as she lowered her head.
What was she going to do?
She knew what she ought to do. She should turn in the evidence. She had the means to close the murder. But then she would have to turn Vaughn in too. And she certainly didn't want to do that.
"Oh, who am I kidding/" Lauren thought as the blood rushed to her temples. Her husband would go to jail before Sydney was even convicted. And she knew that if she sued the capture of Sydney as a bargaining chip for Michael's life, her husband would never forgive her.'
Michael still loved Syd. She knew that and she was starting to get irritated with the face that he wouldn't just come to terms with it.
When she'd asked Vaughn what she should do about finding Sydney and Vaughn's pictures he'd told her he couldn't turn Sydney in, at any coast and there wasn't' any hesitation in his voice when he'd given the answer.
Maybe she should turn both of them in. IF she turned Sydney in, her husband would probably turn himself in, without thinking twice, and there was no hope in believing he'd actually remember he was married to her.
"Mrs. Vaughn?"
Lauren bit her lip, mixed with pain and joy at hearing her marital name directed towards her and not Sydney who was a to be. And she knew exactly who it was too.
Eric Weiss.
'Eric," Lauren greeted and lifted her head, by that time a smile was spread on her face.
"Mrs. V! I thought it was you."
"Hello."
"Hey," Will responded, trying not to sound awkward. "What are you doing here by yourself?"
"I think you know what," she said through gritted teeth and Weiss realized she was clenching her fists.
"Y~you mind if I sit down for a second. I think we should talk about Vaughn," he put in carefully.
Lauren shot him a death glare but scooted to the left to give him enough room to sit down.
Weiss tentatively took his seat then gazed over at his companion. "So, you wanna tell me what's going on with you and Mike?"
"No."
"Why not? You and him, you're always coming to me when you two get into a fight. What can possibly be different about this one?"
Lauren finally turned and met Weiss' glance.
"Did he know?" she wondered. "Was Weiss in on the whole Sydney/Julia thing too?" It made her sick to her stomach. It didn't seem she could trust anyone anymore.
"Lauren I guarantee you will feel better about this if you talk about it," Weiss assured her, taking hold of her clenching hands.
"I~I can trust you?" she asked after a beat, desperately wanting to talk about it with someone and Weiss was a mutual friend of hers and Michael's.
"Of course you can."
She stared into his deep brown eyes, trying to read him but it was no use, she was going to have to go on gut instinct. She was going to explode if she didn't get it out of her system anyway.
"Okay~~~Eric," she exhaled then took another breath to compose herself. "I'm afraid that the time has come. The moment I've dreaded since my husband's former girlfriend decided to resurface. I think he's leaving me for Sydney Bristow."
Lauren flashed Eric a glance to register his reaction. Eric was shocked and he wasn't bothering to hide it.
"L~Lauren, are you sure that's what's going on? I mean~~~really~~~I'm his best friend. I know Michael inside and out and I know he loves you. Yes, he loved Sydney but Vaughn isn't the type of guy to blow off a woman that he's married to. He loves you, Lauren, you're his wife and though Sydney doesn't like anything of that idea, she knows it's a fact she needs to accept and that's saying something."
That certainly was saying something but no, she was no longer going to be naïve about this. It wasn't fair to herself to put herself through pain any longer.
"No, I'm sure this time and no amount of your, "I'm your husband's best friend," advice is going to cut it," she shouted out loud which made Weiss shrink back and two onlookers hurry away from what was supposed to have been a relaxing trip.
She didn't realize how loud it had been and became quiet after it sunk in. she folded her arms and glanced away, embarrassed by her own behavior.
Weiss took hold of her hand and she flipped her head back to look at him. "What are you doing?"
"There's something bothering you and I'm not going to let you deny it any longer," Weiss informed her, wearing a serious expression. "Tell me what you and Vaughn fought about."
Oh did Lauren want to, but she couldn't. Not before she found out what Michael was doing there.
"I can't. I'm sorry. If I told you it could compromise things," She replied quickly, keeping her gaze low.
"Then I'll ask Mike," Eric put in matter-of-factly. "Either way, I'm going to find out. And just think about it, if you explain this to me, maybe I can explain it in a way to assure you of Michael's affection to you, and you wont' have to sit in your NSC office, not able to perform at your peak because your thoughts are somewhere else."
"I doubt what you say can make this any better," she argued, then glanced down at her wristwatch. "I've got to get going anyway. I have a pending mission and I have to go and get my briefing."
"Five minutes Ms. Reed, and then I'll drop the whole subject," he bargained, his grip strong on her shoulder.
"I~like I said, I don't know if that would be a good idea," she protested, trying to get off the bench. If she stayed another minute, she was going to divulge everything out of her control. "Eric."
"Truth is, I like you guys. After Sydney disappeared, I didn't think I could ever get Michael to smile again without it being sarcastic but Lauren, you have been his angel. And I know Michael is happy to be married to you. Just, come on, his girlfriend returned from the dead, his head's not screwed on straight. I," he paused then added in his most serious heart felt tone. "I just want to help. Give me a chance to set Michael straight before you make the biggest mistake of your life."
Lauren was touched by those words and so she decided to give it a shot, just because she could no longer bear to say no.
"All right then, after all, you know my marriage inside out," she pointed out, her lovely lips forming into a bewitching smile. But the next second, it faded. "I~I found out something on Sydney today and I called Michael up to meet him so we could talk. I felt like the devil that I had these bad thoughts that Michael already knew what I was going to say, that he was hiding something from me but I know Michael and Sydney's history, it wasn't an impossibility."
Weiss gulped, feeling he knew where this was going.
"So we met and the first thing Michael did was kiss me and held he warmly in his arms, claiming that one day in Milan had been heart-wrenching even though he had Bristow's company," Lauren spit as though she had a bad tasted in her mouth.
"Have you considered that maybe he was telling the truth?" Weiss put in gently, trying not to sound condescending.
She didn't hear him and plodded on. "I broke away from him and told him the reason I had come to see him and I didn't have to search his expression. It was evident he already knew and hadn't told me! Then he had the nerve to defend her side and tell me to back down! I almost forgot who he was married to!"
Weiss just stared at her, gaping, wondering what he should say. He was supposed to be saving Vaughn's marriage. What good was he doing, being speechless?
Lauren was shaking her head. She'd obviously gotten the hint that he couldn't help her because everything she was saying and felt was true.
"Okay, Michael has obviously committed the biggest mistake of taking his former girlfriend's side but I have to ask you, was this a personal thing or~~~work related?" Weiss inquired, racking his brain, trying to keep the conversation going.
"I~it was~~~work related."
"Okay~" Eric cheered, his mood lightening. 'I think its safe to say that's just his over-protectiveness as Syd's former handler kicking in. He was very good at what he did. I think you figured that out during Syd's most recent mission to Mexico when he got a brilliant idea to deafen the bad guys around her, allowing Syd to take them out while saving her own life.
"If you were talking about anybody else. I would believe you but, Michael's feelings towards Sydney is something I've never going to be able to accept and something that I'm not sure Michael is ever going to be able to get over," Lauren griped, squeezing her hands together.
Weiss noticed a vein was bulging out of the side of her head and immediately realized that this was not some junior-high about Lauren accusing Michael of smiling too much, or her catching him staring at Sydney too long.
This really had Lauren freaked out, and Michael's wife was the most patient woman he knew.
"Ms. Reed~~~Is there something you're not telling me? I want to help you but I can't do that unless you tell me everything that is going on," Weiss insisted, trying to be firm with her while feeling sorry for her at the same time.
"I'm just majorly freak out, that's all," she stated stubbornly. She wasn't going to give anything else. "It' just the way he was, all-high- strung about defending Sydney, it's like it doesn't what I think, and it's like Sydney is perfect in his eyes, a being that cannot do anything wrong."
"Well maybe he really beileves she didn't do what you think she did," Weiss suggested. "it's not like he told you he was only at Sydney's house to comfort her."
Lauren shot him a death glare and Weiss hurridely added, "I was hypothetically speaking." Then he added. "Do you think she did it?"
The expression on Lauren's face suggested she didn't think so but then she wasn't going to admit that. "It's not my place to say. It's come from a source of the NSC and I am just a representer for the information."
Weiss had never seen someone so loyal before and personally he wanted to tell her to take that, "I work for the NSC," and shove it.
"I suppose I wasn't on the list of people you were supposed to brief this to, in other words, you're not going to tell me anything," Weiss said matter of factly.
'I'm sorry, I suppose you will find out with the rest of the agency."
"But you told Michael," he said flatly.
"It pertained to him," she replied, not looking too happy about addressing that fact. "And I didn't tell him because he was my husband if you thought that's why he knows."
"And I am very aware that nobody think I have a heart, that I will never amount to the amazing Sydney Bristow. And I know that people act like my friends to my face but in reality they're ridiculing me behind my back!"
"Lauren, nobody thinks that~~~"
"Of course they do! I saw the look on your face when I you that yes I do believe she can do something wrong, she's human after all. You think I'm a heartless hag!"
"Calm down, first of all," Eric cajoled her, taking hold of her shoulders. "And secondly, don't be mad at Mike, he probably feels he should stick up for her, being one of her only friends left."
"Friends? You'd like me to believe that, wouldn't you?" Lauren spit, laughing coldly, "And I suppose you're just covering up for Vaughn, being his best friend and all."
"Would it hurt you to think maybe this was just part of the Covenant's plan to set her up? Wouldn't it make sense, if they could get her out of the picture and get her blamed for something that the Covenant wasn't responsible for?" Weiss blurted out and unfortunately Lauren heard every word clearly.
"You already know about this too, don't you?" she cried accusingly. "And here I am expecting you to be understanding!"
"I'm just saying, the girl has been gone for two years, that's traumatic enough, but she doesn't even remember the two years," Weiss reasoned. "Just give the CIA a chance, give the girl a chance to recover her missing years, if she finds something disturbing, Sydney is a good person, she'll admit to it."
"For your information, I happen to have a heart. And I haven't reported to my agency though I should," Lauren put in, guilt-tripping Weiss. "I do think Sydney Bristow is a wonderful person, not to mention a hell of an agent."
"But, didn't you have a meeting with Lysney?" Weiss demanded. "I know this is your meeting place with him."
"How do you know that?"
Weiss lowered his voice, made sure no one was eavesdropping then answered her. "We think Lynsey may have something to do with Sydney's disappearance or that he's struck a deal with the Covenant to have her eliminated or put in custody. Whatever the deal, we've been investigating him."
"Oh, so now you're blaming Lysney. Why, because he seems more like a bad guy? I've heard enough of this~~~I need to go," she sputtered, grabbed her things and stood up on her wobbly legs. "You're lucky I have no reason to turn you in."
"What are you going to do about Michael?" he asked when she was about twenty feet away from him and all things seemed to move in slow motion. "If you go now, you might be able to catch him before his flight to Moscow."
"I~~~no, I've got to go. I told you I've got a mission myself coming up," Lauren regretfully informed him but to Weiss it only sounded like he was trying to find a way out.
"Don't you think making up with your husband is just a little more important thatn something you think you have to do for Lysney?" Weiss demanded, clearly irritated of Lauren's jealousy issues.
"Right now, her certainly doesn't feel like he's my husband," she spit angrily. 'And then again, I'm wondering if he ever relaly did," she paused, waiting for Weiss to react then added. "You know what, you seem to want to help so here's what you can do why don't' you head back to the Agency and tell him exactly what I told you. Maybe he'll listen to you, maybe you can, get him to see that I do have a heart and that I certainly don't' get off on convicting people that I know."
"I know that, but I bet he'd be happier to hear it from you. After all, this is an issue between you two."
"Just tell him, Weiss, tell him everything I told you and then I'll know~~~I'll know if he loves me or not."
Eric watched her leave, filled with dread. Michael needed to make a decision. He didn't know how much more of this he could take. He almost asked how would Lauren know by his telling Vaughn but decided not to ask it.
He was already in deeper than he liked.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The plane carrying Sydney and Vaughn was currently en route to Russia's capital, Moscow.
Sydney was sitting comfortable in one of the passenger seats of the main cabin. She was kicked back in her sleek suit, her heels on the floor and her nose absorbed in a book. She kept checking her wrist watch every five minutes. She got this way,w hen there was a pending mission. Her mind would mentally go over everything step by step, almost to the point she could see herself executing Project: Snatch the bio guy and get him to the CIA doctors."
She looked out the window for a second. There was nothing like seeing clouds whip by to clear her head.
She pulled the bookmark out of the text she was reading and jumped into a paragraph that was quite interesting. I twas on the beach that laid out before La Superica, the hotel she and then her boyfriend, Vaughn had planned to spend three days at before she'd had two years of her life stolen by the Covenant.
She was just reaching the symbolism of the glass dome when the door opened to the pilot's area and in came a rustled looking Vaughn.
She lifted her head, trying not to look too excited. "Hey."
"Hey," Michael replied, meeting her gaze for a second. "I~~~I talked to the pilot. He said touchdown is in an hour and forty minutes."
Sydney only smiled. She was sure if she said something it would come out high-pitched and in the current state Michael seemed to be in, she didn't want him to think she was still hot for him, especially now.
But that didn't stop her from looking at him. After all he was no less cuter because he was having issues. If anything she was sure new amount of angst just made him look even sexier.
He was sporting a nice suit, the kind he wore at the Agency, only this time it looked like he'd put more effort into ironing it, his hair was slicked with gel and he'd shaven nicely.
Sydney and Vaughn shared a glance of angst then she broke away and looked down into her book, but she found that she couldn't' concentrate on her text with Vaughn just standing there like a statue, eyes on her.
"Do you want to sit down?" Sydney suggested, still looking into her book. "You're making me kind of uncomfortable just standing there like that. I mean would it kill you to have a good conversation with me about~~~~I don't know, nothing? After all that's happened I think we could both use it."
Sydney felt her heart flutter when she caught Vaughn had cracked an embarrassed smile. It was amazing how all the tension seemed to disappear the instant he chuckled, and his eyes filled with laughter.
"Sorry, I guess I've been on edge," he apologized and Sydney commented with a, "yeah, you have been."
"I guess I'll live even after we have a conversation like old time," he joked then he stepped forward and settled in the seat in front of her. "You wanna put that book away?"
"Oh, yeah~~~just give me a second to finish this page," she told him and Vaughn sighed as though what she was asking him to do was an unsurmountable task. "You'll live, Vaughn."
Apparently he couldn't. "What are you reading?" he asked then, twiddling his thumbs. "It must be very intriguing if you'd rather read that than talk to me."
"Oh," Sydney flushed. "It's nothing really, just a book I wanted to read."
"Probably a new edition of Alice in the Wonderland," Vaughn suggested, rolling his eyes. "Let me see."
"N~No, that's okay, it's not Alice in the Wonderland, it's~~~it's really nothing," she stammered.
She watched Vaughn sigh and she was sure he'd given up, but at the last second, when she'd loosened her grip on the book, he walked behind her and snatched it.
"Hey give it back!" she whined, half-alarmed, half-enjoying it. "Vaughn."
She turned to him and she felt a draft. He stared at the carpet and handed the book back to Sydney. "Here, take it," he scolded her and shoved the book into her hands when she didn't reach for it.
Sydney just stared at him. She wanted to say, "why the hell did you do that!" but she was rendered speechless because of Vaughn's behavior. She observed him sit back down, looking trouble and she hesitated before returning to her seat.
She pulled her book back out, obviously the conversation attempt wasn't going to happen.
"Why do you have that thing?" Vaughn growled, referring to it as if it were something slimy and disgusting and it was wrong of her to have it.
"I~~~I keep thinking what it would have been like, to stand on the Santa Barbara beach and dine under the huge glass dome of La Superica," she admitted dreamily, not caring that she probably looked like a goofball. "And I thought seeing pictures of it would make me feel better that I wasn't completely cheated out of it. And maybe I'll some time get the guts to go there myself."
What Vaughn said next was shocking.
"But you were cheated out of it!" he shouted, majorly pissed off. "Syd, you were cheated out of two years of your life!"
"I know that, but you don't have to be so nasty about it," she whimpered going back to her book.
"Give me that!" he commanded then and yanked it out of her hands when he resisted then threw it as hard as he could and it landed somewhere in the seats farther back.
"What did you do that for?" she roared, fed up with Vaughn's issues, but inside she was shaking. Michaels' behavior scared her.
"I didn't want to see that thing anymore," he shrugged, pulling out his cell phone and began fiddling with it.
"But you didn't have to throw it, that's a library book!" she sputtered, gaping at Vaughn who had been acting just as crazy only a minute before.
"Well if you would have just given it to me, I wouldn't have had to throw it!" Michael reprimanded, folding his arms, putting all the blame on her.
"Whatever. That was my book. No where in our mission statement did it say I have to deal with this," Sydney burst, her brown eyes flashing with irritation, her mouth a tight line as she stood up.
"What are you doing?"
"Getting my book back. Maybe it'll be quiet enough for me to finish it back there," she replied matter-of-factly. "Enjoy playing with that thing. You're going to be doing it for a while."
"No, sit down. Leave that thing where it is," he ordered her, his voice getting deathly calm.
"No, you can't tell me what to do."
Finally Vaughn blew his top. And his face reddened incredibily as he screamed, "WHY DO YOU WANT TO TORTURE ME!"
Sydney bit her lip, her face quivering as though he'd slapped her. She slowly retreated into her nearest seat, and kept her gaze low. Usually she got smacked and tortured and didn't blink an eye, in fact she sometimes urged the terrorists on, but she had a blind spot where Vaughn was concerned and him turning on her was the last thing she'd ever expected.
"Really, Syd! Why are you doing this to me? Does it make you feel good to go through scenes of what could have been because it doesn't for me! Why do you want me to watch you in pain!"
"Pain? I was pretty peaceful, considering the circumstances," Sydney argued.
"Shut up!" Vaughn scolded her. "You and I know what could have been but I thought we were over that. I thought we were mature enough adults to put that behind us."
"We are," she put in but it was like Vaughn never heard her."
"You know that's never going to happen, t~that we can never go back to that. So hwy are you shoving that memory in my face?" Vaughn cried, his eyes filled with loathing. "Stop TEASING ME! You know I love Lauren~~~why can't you just drop it! Why don't you accept that I've moved on?!"
"I~I have V~Vaughn, I have," she began sputtering, frantically wiping her tears away, trying not to let him see them but she was no match for the emotion that overwhelmed her. "I know you love Lauren, you made it very clear that day in the classroom and this afternoon at the Agency."
"Then why do you keep bothering me? My marriage is a mess because of you!"
Sydney gulped down the pain that rushed to her throat like bile. She'd never heard such hurtful words. And Michael seemed to realize that too. "I~I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that. I~it's just~~~ you were everything to me Vaughn, and I'm only human, I can't just shut down my feelings. I thought I was doing pretty good, I really just wanted to talk~~~but if that bothers you~~~I~I'm~~~I'm sorry."
Vaughn watched Sydney cry with difficulty. What had come over him? What had made him say the things he had? "Oh come off it, Vaughn," his conscience told, "you know those words would hurt, you knew they would make her cry."
But it made him feel terrible. Because he did understand Sydney's lingering feelings, two years and a marriage hadn't been enough for him to forget or not yearn for what they used to share.
He stared at Sydney, unable to speak. He'd just broken her heart and her soul had crumbled as well. Man, he didn't know he was capable of that kind of destruction.
"S~Syd?"
"Don't talk to me," she whispered harshly, hugging her knees to her chest. "I've have chosen you shooting me and ending my life before I'd have to hear those words. How can you be so cold, Michael? Do you think I wanted to be gone for two years? You know I miss you. Why did you do that to me? Why couldn't you let me enjoy my only happy memories in peace?"
He didn't move for a minute, his face down, unable to look into her pain-filled stare, disgusted by his own behavior.
"I knew you had issues, Vaughn, and that's why I'm not going to take those words to heart, but you better give me a damn good explanation, or I'm not sure what I'll do to myself when we land," she threatened him and waited for him to raise his head.
When he did, the anger from heart disappeared and was replaced by concern.
"I~I'm sorry," he murmured, blinking to release the overflowing water from his eyes, then he shot his arms out and buried his head into her hair. "I~I'm so sorry, Sydney. I~I just don't' know what to do."
She held him back tightly, pushed his hair back to kiss him on the forehead, attempting to comfort her best friend then she took hold of Vaughn's trembling hands and lowered them and then lifted his chin and gently wiped away his tears. "About what, Vaughn?"
"A~about my feelings towards Lauren and~~~and you," he revealed. "I am very in much in love with my wife but my life, though it literally went to hell at your return, the moment my eyes saw you again, my life felt complete. I am still in love with you Sydney Bristow."
"Oh god," she gasped, a hand flying to her mouth. She'd known he'd had feelings for her, there was no way he couldn't have after how strong they had been, but she'd never dreamed they would be so strong. "Oh god, Vaughn."
"I know~~~this hasn't been easy for me either," Vaughn countered, shaking his head sadly, a smile showing that the feeling was mutual displayed on his face. "And though I meant that I do love my wife, I should have never said it that way."
"It~It's okay."
"Truth is my marriage is in a dilemma right now and that's because I'm protecting you," Vaughn explained then in his most panicked voice he added, "Lauren knows, Syd."
"Knows what?" she demanded then it dawned on her. there was only one thing it could be. "Oh my god. How?"
"I don't know. But when I met her this afternoon. She gave me a set of pictures to look at. They were of the Lazarey murder."
"I knew it!" Sydney exasperated. "Oh I had that feeling. You and Lauren were acting too weird! I just gone down telling my father you should be let out of the obligation to the agency!" then looking very lost she whimpered, "what do I do now?"
"For now, nothing," he cautioned her. "Lauren hasn't gone to Lysney with it, but you know him, he's going to find out sooner or later. Right now, I've convinced her to stay quiet. I know this is going to be impossible buy you're going to have to act like you don't know anything."
"What about my dad? Can I tell him?"
"N~No, he'll get all messed up and he might try to take matters into his own hands. We can't risk that. You're just going to have to trust me that I won't let this get out," Vaughn instructed her. "And especially Lauren. She can't find out you know. As far as she's concerned I've betrayed her and she thinks maybe we've been in this together."
"Together? What do you mean together? You were obligated by the Agency not to tell the NSC, not necessarily Lauren," Sydney reminded him assuringly as though she actually cared about making his marriage work.
"No, not that. She believes I was there, when you supposedly killed Andrea Lazarey. She believes I was your get away, you partner in crime," Vaughn revealed, looking very uneasy.
"That's unreal, Vaughn. I was missing for two years. You might have been on a date with her the day I killed that man. I know don't remember anything but you weren't there," Sydney argued, getting defensive. "Lauren needs to stop this jealousy thing before people start thinking she's psychotic."
"I think she's got reason to be jealous," Vaughn suggested mildly. "After what I told you. And the thing is Lauren has proof to back her story."
Sydney shot Vaughn a frightened look. "Proof?"
"Pictures, Syd," Vaughn explained to her. "She's got close up picture of your face, the one Marshall was trying to decode and your dad tripped up. And~~~she's also got picture of me, Syd. Helping you escape the scene."
She let that sink in for a moment but every atom of her body was against believing him. He couldn't have been. Because then Vaughn wouldn't have though she was dead, and she would have never married Lauren Reed. Things would have been a lot different.
"So, now Lauren believes I've basically put her in this plan she thinks I have where I marry her because she's NSC, get her to fall so madly in love with me that she would want to help me keep you and I under wraps. And even save you because you're my precious ex."
"Like I said, psychotic. You and I, we're not together, so she has nothing to worry about. Tell her that. And besides, don't you think it's stupid for the Covenant to kidnap both of us? I mean, it seems they put something in my head, that's why they're upset and glad at the same time that I can't remember, but what would they kidnap you for?"
"I~~~I haven't figure that out yet," Vaughn admitted, scratching the back of his head then wiped his hands on his thighs. "But wouldn't it make sense if they wanted you to keep quiet. For instance if I was there when you woke up and I assured you that everything was okay, wouldn't you believe me?"
"In other words, I wouldn't scream or rebel," the light finally went on in Sydney's head. 'But, I know if something felt weird of out of place, my instincts would snap into action."
"True, Syd, but with me, you know your defenses slip. Shoot, Weiss always had to give me a jab to make sure my thoughts were on the briefing~~~we were crazy about each other~~~I mean."
Michael looked very uncomfortable. He kept crossing and uncrossing his legs or shifted uncomfortably in his chair as though he had to go to the men's room.
"Stop right there. I know what you're going to say~~~so~~~just don't," Sydney pleaded again, near tears and her heart wrenching in agony. "Tell me what am I supposed to do. Because I'm about to lose it and then I can't execute my mission and~~~Dixon is going to love that."
Michael felt her inner pain and fear at that moment and grabbed her before she fell to her knees. "Syd~~~Hey Sydney, we'll think of something okay. So, I know it's asking a lot but let's just do our mission and then we get back we'll meet up and we'll figure out what's going on, okay?"
"I~I'm scared Michael. I really just want to get up and leave, I want to disappear again," she whimpered. Michael pulled her to his chest and gently caressed her face.
"No Syd, we'll take care of this the right way this time," he told her in his most soothing tone, a tone that used to make her believe everything would be al right. "No more disappearing acts, please Syd. I can't take any more, my heart can't take it anymore."
Sydney didn't say anything.
"Okay, Syd? Promise me."
"O~Okay."
"Say I promise!"
Sydney closed her eyes, leaned closer into his chest and wrapped her arms around his body.
"I promise," she lied as Vaughn tightened his grip on her.
A tear slid down her cheek as Vaughn kissed her on top of her head. Her eyes flashed open and she inhaled the unique scent that was Vaughn and committed it to her memory, knowing if she executed the plan forming in her head, it could be a long time before she saw Vaughn, Weiss, or anyone she knew for an indefinite amount of time.
"It'll be okay, Syd, everything will be okay," he insisted through emotional whispers. "We'll get through this."
Sydney tried hard for a moment to pretend she believed those words.
Yes, finally SV!!!!!!!!! ( Cue applause!) Thanks for reading, hope you'll push that nice little button and send me a review! This is for all you guys! Remember I'm a Total Vaughn Lover and that means I want Vaughn to be happy!!!
In other words: Shout out to SV shippers all the way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE ROCK!!!!!!!!!!
I don't' write without feedback so please review!!!!!!!!!!!! See you next update!!
Total V Lover
Please Review, okay, things are about to get better...
For Better Or Worse~~~~~ Part V: Jealousy and Rage Total Vaughn Lover
Our story today starts with a fine day in a pleasant park~~~~~
"Lauren, I understand you are working hard to solve the Lazarey case but it's getting ridiculous," Lysney chided Lauren as they sat on a park bench, attempting to look as though they were having casual conversation and not on the topic of a highly coveted interrogation of the murder of a Russian Diplomat.
"I~~~I am working harder if not as hard as anybody else would," she protested, putting her defenses up. "You know that very well. It's only been my first year of marriage with my husband and half of the time I haven't been home. I'm always jetting off on leads and checking up on Sloane to make sure he's not ruining the world! So before you tell me I'm not a qualified enough agent~~~"
"Ms. Reed, calm down, nobody said anything about you not being qualified," Lazarey crooned, almost flirtatiously. It was the only way he knew how to calm down a high-strung Lauren Reed.
Lauren finally calmed down and the redness in her skin had toned down to a healthy pink.
"I'm listening."
"I guess I'm just sore about not getting the I.D on that picture of the female, but of course I shouldn't take it out on you. It's not your fault the CIA doesn't know what they're doing and half the time they're sending agents around the world, chasing terrorists that don't even exist."
Lauren's face flushed red instantaneously.
"Excuse me sir, but my husband happens to be part of the organization who's image you are tarnishing," she put in sounding very curt. Even though part of the reason she was even losing her mind was because she was upset with her husband but she didn't want to subject him to any time in jail. She was away from him enough.
"But it is true, isn't it? You wanted a zoom in on the photo and that their little inventor guy over there doesn't know what he's doing. If he did he should have been able to I.D the murderer and I wouldn't be yelling at you this moment!"
Lauren bit her lip, half in shock. She looked down at her lap when she saw a rollerblader skate by and then made a noise to clear her throat signaling to Lysney she wanted out of this conversation.
Fortunately the head honcho of the NSC bough into that clue.
"W~Well Ms. Reed, I think we are clear on how urgent this is and I do understand you are doing the best you can."
"And?' she prompted, turning her head towards him.
"And I guess I can refrain from putting down the CIA in your presence since Agent Vaughn is your husband," Lysney put in, looking particularly happy to address that fact.
"T~thank you, sir. So if that is all?"
"Actually, I want to send you to see Sloane. I got intel from CIA that in the attending party of the convention with the committee of that controls nuclear usage in Russia, there is a certain man who knew Andrea Lazarey. I want you to get an invite with the party."
"N~No!" she blurted out which made Lysney blink hard.
"Um, excuse me, Ms. Reed, did you just say no?"
"Yes sir," she confirmed, but then added hastily, "but let me explain. The CIA is already sending Agent Vaughn and Agent Bristow to infiltrate the meeting,"
"Wonderful, then you don't' have to go to Sloane. You can go and get an invite from them," Lysney beamed.
"S~Sir, is it possible if I go in to see the man after the meeting? Because I just~~~I'd prefer our missions not clash," she stated as confidently and non-chalantly at she possibly could.
"Having a fight with your husband are you?" Lynsey teased which scared Lauren more than anything because the NSC honcho was not the type of guy to tease his employee unless he meant something by it.
"Sir? Do you have an answer for me?" she asked a bit urgently. She really wanted to end this conversation now, and with an urgency.
"Yes, Ms. Reed and because I'm a professional who understands marital problems, I'm going to take your request. That means tomorrow after Agent Bristow and Agent Vaughn return, you are on the first place to Moscow," Lysney ordered her, getting up from his seat. "So you might want to return to NSC HQ later this afternoon to receive your orders."
"Right, thank you sir."
Lysney nodded, smiling that evil smile that could possibly mean something more. She was surprised he didn't wink at her.
After she was sure hew as gone, and not just trying to mer her believe he'd left, she leaned forward on her hands then let her fingers run through her silky blond hair as she lowered her head.
What was she going to do?
She knew what she ought to do. She should turn in the evidence. She had the means to close the murder. But then she would have to turn Vaughn in too. And she certainly didn't want to do that.
"Oh, who am I kidding/" Lauren thought as the blood rushed to her temples. Her husband would go to jail before Sydney was even convicted. And she knew that if she sued the capture of Sydney as a bargaining chip for Michael's life, her husband would never forgive her.'
Michael still loved Syd. She knew that and she was starting to get irritated with the face that he wouldn't just come to terms with it.
When she'd asked Vaughn what she should do about finding Sydney and Vaughn's pictures he'd told her he couldn't turn Sydney in, at any coast and there wasn't' any hesitation in his voice when he'd given the answer.
Maybe she should turn both of them in. IF she turned Sydney in, her husband would probably turn himself in, without thinking twice, and there was no hope in believing he'd actually remember he was married to her.
"Mrs. Vaughn?"
Lauren bit her lip, mixed with pain and joy at hearing her marital name directed towards her and not Sydney who was a to be. And she knew exactly who it was too.
Eric Weiss.
'Eric," Lauren greeted and lifted her head, by that time a smile was spread on her face.
"Mrs. V! I thought it was you."
"Hello."
"Hey," Will responded, trying not to sound awkward. "What are you doing here by yourself?"
"I think you know what," she said through gritted teeth and Weiss realized she was clenching her fists.
"Y~you mind if I sit down for a second. I think we should talk about Vaughn," he put in carefully.
Lauren shot him a death glare but scooted to the left to give him enough room to sit down.
Weiss tentatively took his seat then gazed over at his companion. "So, you wanna tell me what's going on with you and Mike?"
"No."
"Why not? You and him, you're always coming to me when you two get into a fight. What can possibly be different about this one?"
Lauren finally turned and met Weiss' glance.
"Did he know?" she wondered. "Was Weiss in on the whole Sydney/Julia thing too?" It made her sick to her stomach. It didn't seem she could trust anyone anymore.
"Lauren I guarantee you will feel better about this if you talk about it," Weiss assured her, taking hold of her clenching hands.
"I~I can trust you?" she asked after a beat, desperately wanting to talk about it with someone and Weiss was a mutual friend of hers and Michael's.
"Of course you can."
She stared into his deep brown eyes, trying to read him but it was no use, she was going to have to go on gut instinct. She was going to explode if she didn't get it out of her system anyway.
"Okay~~~Eric," she exhaled then took another breath to compose herself. "I'm afraid that the time has come. The moment I've dreaded since my husband's former girlfriend decided to resurface. I think he's leaving me for Sydney Bristow."
Lauren flashed Eric a glance to register his reaction. Eric was shocked and he wasn't bothering to hide it.
"L~Lauren, are you sure that's what's going on? I mean~~~really~~~I'm his best friend. I know Michael inside and out and I know he loves you. Yes, he loved Sydney but Vaughn isn't the type of guy to blow off a woman that he's married to. He loves you, Lauren, you're his wife and though Sydney doesn't like anything of that idea, she knows it's a fact she needs to accept and that's saying something."
That certainly was saying something but no, she was no longer going to be naïve about this. It wasn't fair to herself to put herself through pain any longer.
"No, I'm sure this time and no amount of your, "I'm your husband's best friend," advice is going to cut it," she shouted out loud which made Weiss shrink back and two onlookers hurry away from what was supposed to have been a relaxing trip.
She didn't realize how loud it had been and became quiet after it sunk in. she folded her arms and glanced away, embarrassed by her own behavior.
Weiss took hold of her hand and she flipped her head back to look at him. "What are you doing?"
"There's something bothering you and I'm not going to let you deny it any longer," Weiss informed her, wearing a serious expression. "Tell me what you and Vaughn fought about."
Oh did Lauren want to, but she couldn't. Not before she found out what Michael was doing there.
"I can't. I'm sorry. If I told you it could compromise things," She replied quickly, keeping her gaze low.
"Then I'll ask Mike," Eric put in matter-of-factly. "Either way, I'm going to find out. And just think about it, if you explain this to me, maybe I can explain it in a way to assure you of Michael's affection to you, and you wont' have to sit in your NSC office, not able to perform at your peak because your thoughts are somewhere else."
"I doubt what you say can make this any better," she argued, then glanced down at her wristwatch. "I've got to get going anyway. I have a pending mission and I have to go and get my briefing."
"Five minutes Ms. Reed, and then I'll drop the whole subject," he bargained, his grip strong on her shoulder.
"I~like I said, I don't know if that would be a good idea," she protested, trying to get off the bench. If she stayed another minute, she was going to divulge everything out of her control. "Eric."
"Truth is, I like you guys. After Sydney disappeared, I didn't think I could ever get Michael to smile again without it being sarcastic but Lauren, you have been his angel. And I know Michael is happy to be married to you. Just, come on, his girlfriend returned from the dead, his head's not screwed on straight. I," he paused then added in his most serious heart felt tone. "I just want to help. Give me a chance to set Michael straight before you make the biggest mistake of your life."
Lauren was touched by those words and so she decided to give it a shot, just because she could no longer bear to say no.
"All right then, after all, you know my marriage inside out," she pointed out, her lovely lips forming into a bewitching smile. But the next second, it faded. "I~I found out something on Sydney today and I called Michael up to meet him so we could talk. I felt like the devil that I had these bad thoughts that Michael already knew what I was going to say, that he was hiding something from me but I know Michael and Sydney's history, it wasn't an impossibility."
Weiss gulped, feeling he knew where this was going.
"So we met and the first thing Michael did was kiss me and held he warmly in his arms, claiming that one day in Milan had been heart-wrenching even though he had Bristow's company," Lauren spit as though she had a bad tasted in her mouth.
"Have you considered that maybe he was telling the truth?" Weiss put in gently, trying not to sound condescending.
She didn't hear him and plodded on. "I broke away from him and told him the reason I had come to see him and I didn't have to search his expression. It was evident he already knew and hadn't told me! Then he had the nerve to defend her side and tell me to back down! I almost forgot who he was married to!"
Weiss just stared at her, gaping, wondering what he should say. He was supposed to be saving Vaughn's marriage. What good was he doing, being speechless?
Lauren was shaking her head. She'd obviously gotten the hint that he couldn't help her because everything she was saying and felt was true.
"Okay, Michael has obviously committed the biggest mistake of taking his former girlfriend's side but I have to ask you, was this a personal thing or~~~work related?" Weiss inquired, racking his brain, trying to keep the conversation going.
"I~it was~~~work related."
"Okay~" Eric cheered, his mood lightening. 'I think its safe to say that's just his over-protectiveness as Syd's former handler kicking in. He was very good at what he did. I think you figured that out during Syd's most recent mission to Mexico when he got a brilliant idea to deafen the bad guys around her, allowing Syd to take them out while saving her own life.
"If you were talking about anybody else. I would believe you but, Michael's feelings towards Sydney is something I've never going to be able to accept and something that I'm not sure Michael is ever going to be able to get over," Lauren griped, squeezing her hands together.
Weiss noticed a vein was bulging out of the side of her head and immediately realized that this was not some junior-high about Lauren accusing Michael of smiling too much, or her catching him staring at Sydney too long.
This really had Lauren freaked out, and Michael's wife was the most patient woman he knew.
"Ms. Reed~~~Is there something you're not telling me? I want to help you but I can't do that unless you tell me everything that is going on," Weiss insisted, trying to be firm with her while feeling sorry for her at the same time.
"I'm just majorly freak out, that's all," she stated stubbornly. She wasn't going to give anything else. "It' just the way he was, all-high- strung about defending Sydney, it's like it doesn't what I think, and it's like Sydney is perfect in his eyes, a being that cannot do anything wrong."
"Well maybe he really beileves she didn't do what you think she did," Weiss suggested. "it's not like he told you he was only at Sydney's house to comfort her."
Lauren shot him a death glare and Weiss hurridely added, "I was hypothetically speaking." Then he added. "Do you think she did it?"
The expression on Lauren's face suggested she didn't think so but then she wasn't going to admit that. "It's not my place to say. It's come from a source of the NSC and I am just a representer for the information."
Weiss had never seen someone so loyal before and personally he wanted to tell her to take that, "I work for the NSC," and shove it.
"I suppose I wasn't on the list of people you were supposed to brief this to, in other words, you're not going to tell me anything," Weiss said matter of factly.
'I'm sorry, I suppose you will find out with the rest of the agency."
"But you told Michael," he said flatly.
"It pertained to him," she replied, not looking too happy about addressing that fact. "And I didn't tell him because he was my husband if you thought that's why he knows."
"And I am very aware that nobody think I have a heart, that I will never amount to the amazing Sydney Bristow. And I know that people act like my friends to my face but in reality they're ridiculing me behind my back!"
"Lauren, nobody thinks that~~~"
"Of course they do! I saw the look on your face when I you that yes I do believe she can do something wrong, she's human after all. You think I'm a heartless hag!"
"Calm down, first of all," Eric cajoled her, taking hold of her shoulders. "And secondly, don't be mad at Mike, he probably feels he should stick up for her, being one of her only friends left."
"Friends? You'd like me to believe that, wouldn't you?" Lauren spit, laughing coldly, "And I suppose you're just covering up for Vaughn, being his best friend and all."
"Would it hurt you to think maybe this was just part of the Covenant's plan to set her up? Wouldn't it make sense, if they could get her out of the picture and get her blamed for something that the Covenant wasn't responsible for?" Weiss blurted out and unfortunately Lauren heard every word clearly.
"You already know about this too, don't you?" she cried accusingly. "And here I am expecting you to be understanding!"
"I'm just saying, the girl has been gone for two years, that's traumatic enough, but she doesn't even remember the two years," Weiss reasoned. "Just give the CIA a chance, give the girl a chance to recover her missing years, if she finds something disturbing, Sydney is a good person, she'll admit to it."
"For your information, I happen to have a heart. And I haven't reported to my agency though I should," Lauren put in, guilt-tripping Weiss. "I do think Sydney Bristow is a wonderful person, not to mention a hell of an agent."
"But, didn't you have a meeting with Lysney?" Weiss demanded. "I know this is your meeting place with him."
"How do you know that?"
Weiss lowered his voice, made sure no one was eavesdropping then answered her. "We think Lynsey may have something to do with Sydney's disappearance or that he's struck a deal with the Covenant to have her eliminated or put in custody. Whatever the deal, we've been investigating him."
"Oh, so now you're blaming Lysney. Why, because he seems more like a bad guy? I've heard enough of this~~~I need to go," she sputtered, grabbed her things and stood up on her wobbly legs. "You're lucky I have no reason to turn you in."
"What are you going to do about Michael?" he asked when she was about twenty feet away from him and all things seemed to move in slow motion. "If you go now, you might be able to catch him before his flight to Moscow."
"I~~~no, I've got to go. I told you I've got a mission myself coming up," Lauren regretfully informed him but to Weiss it only sounded like he was trying to find a way out.
"Don't you think making up with your husband is just a little more important thatn something you think you have to do for Lysney?" Weiss demanded, clearly irritated of Lauren's jealousy issues.
"Right now, her certainly doesn't feel like he's my husband," she spit angrily. 'And then again, I'm wondering if he ever relaly did," she paused, waiting for Weiss to react then added. "You know what, you seem to want to help so here's what you can do why don't' you head back to the Agency and tell him exactly what I told you. Maybe he'll listen to you, maybe you can, get him to see that I do have a heart and that I certainly don't' get off on convicting people that I know."
"I know that, but I bet he'd be happier to hear it from you. After all, this is an issue between you two."
"Just tell him, Weiss, tell him everything I told you and then I'll know~~~I'll know if he loves me or not."
Eric watched her leave, filled with dread. Michael needed to make a decision. He didn't know how much more of this he could take. He almost asked how would Lauren know by his telling Vaughn but decided not to ask it.
He was already in deeper than he liked.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The plane carrying Sydney and Vaughn was currently en route to Russia's capital, Moscow.
Sydney was sitting comfortable in one of the passenger seats of the main cabin. She was kicked back in her sleek suit, her heels on the floor and her nose absorbed in a book. She kept checking her wrist watch every five minutes. She got this way,w hen there was a pending mission. Her mind would mentally go over everything step by step, almost to the point she could see herself executing Project: Snatch the bio guy and get him to the CIA doctors."
She looked out the window for a second. There was nothing like seeing clouds whip by to clear her head.
She pulled the bookmark out of the text she was reading and jumped into a paragraph that was quite interesting. I twas on the beach that laid out before La Superica, the hotel she and then her boyfriend, Vaughn had planned to spend three days at before she'd had two years of her life stolen by the Covenant.
She was just reaching the symbolism of the glass dome when the door opened to the pilot's area and in came a rustled looking Vaughn.
She lifted her head, trying not to look too excited. "Hey."
"Hey," Michael replied, meeting her gaze for a second. "I~~~I talked to the pilot. He said touchdown is in an hour and forty minutes."
Sydney only smiled. She was sure if she said something it would come out high-pitched and in the current state Michael seemed to be in, she didn't want him to think she was still hot for him, especially now.
But that didn't stop her from looking at him. After all he was no less cuter because he was having issues. If anything she was sure new amount of angst just made him look even sexier.
He was sporting a nice suit, the kind he wore at the Agency, only this time it looked like he'd put more effort into ironing it, his hair was slicked with gel and he'd shaven nicely.
Sydney and Vaughn shared a glance of angst then she broke away and looked down into her book, but she found that she couldn't' concentrate on her text with Vaughn just standing there like a statue, eyes on her.
"Do you want to sit down?" Sydney suggested, still looking into her book. "You're making me kind of uncomfortable just standing there like that. I mean would it kill you to have a good conversation with me about~~~~I don't know, nothing? After all that's happened I think we could both use it."
Sydney felt her heart flutter when she caught Vaughn had cracked an embarrassed smile. It was amazing how all the tension seemed to disappear the instant he chuckled, and his eyes filled with laughter.
"Sorry, I guess I've been on edge," he apologized and Sydney commented with a, "yeah, you have been."
"I guess I'll live even after we have a conversation like old time," he joked then he stepped forward and settled in the seat in front of her. "You wanna put that book away?"
"Oh, yeah~~~just give me a second to finish this page," she told him and Vaughn sighed as though what she was asking him to do was an unsurmountable task. "You'll live, Vaughn."
Apparently he couldn't. "What are you reading?" he asked then, twiddling his thumbs. "It must be very intriguing if you'd rather read that than talk to me."
"Oh," Sydney flushed. "It's nothing really, just a book I wanted to read."
"Probably a new edition of Alice in the Wonderland," Vaughn suggested, rolling his eyes. "Let me see."
"N~No, that's okay, it's not Alice in the Wonderland, it's~~~it's really nothing," she stammered.
She watched Vaughn sigh and she was sure he'd given up, but at the last second, when she'd loosened her grip on the book, he walked behind her and snatched it.
"Hey give it back!" she whined, half-alarmed, half-enjoying it. "Vaughn."
She turned to him and she felt a draft. He stared at the carpet and handed the book back to Sydney. "Here, take it," he scolded her and shoved the book into her hands when she didn't reach for it.
Sydney just stared at him. She wanted to say, "why the hell did you do that!" but she was rendered speechless because of Vaughn's behavior. She observed him sit back down, looking trouble and she hesitated before returning to her seat.
She pulled her book back out, obviously the conversation attempt wasn't going to happen.
"Why do you have that thing?" Vaughn growled, referring to it as if it were something slimy and disgusting and it was wrong of her to have it.
"I~~~I keep thinking what it would have been like, to stand on the Santa Barbara beach and dine under the huge glass dome of La Superica," she admitted dreamily, not caring that she probably looked like a goofball. "And I thought seeing pictures of it would make me feel better that I wasn't completely cheated out of it. And maybe I'll some time get the guts to go there myself."
What Vaughn said next was shocking.
"But you were cheated out of it!" he shouted, majorly pissed off. "Syd, you were cheated out of two years of your life!"
"I know that, but you don't have to be so nasty about it," she whimpered going back to her book.
"Give me that!" he commanded then and yanked it out of her hands when he resisted then threw it as hard as he could and it landed somewhere in the seats farther back.
"What did you do that for?" she roared, fed up with Vaughn's issues, but inside she was shaking. Michaels' behavior scared her.
"I didn't want to see that thing anymore," he shrugged, pulling out his cell phone and began fiddling with it.
"But you didn't have to throw it, that's a library book!" she sputtered, gaping at Vaughn who had been acting just as crazy only a minute before.
"Well if you would have just given it to me, I wouldn't have had to throw it!" Michael reprimanded, folding his arms, putting all the blame on her.
"Whatever. That was my book. No where in our mission statement did it say I have to deal with this," Sydney burst, her brown eyes flashing with irritation, her mouth a tight line as she stood up.
"What are you doing?"
"Getting my book back. Maybe it'll be quiet enough for me to finish it back there," she replied matter-of-factly. "Enjoy playing with that thing. You're going to be doing it for a while."
"No, sit down. Leave that thing where it is," he ordered her, his voice getting deathly calm.
"No, you can't tell me what to do."
Finally Vaughn blew his top. And his face reddened incredibily as he screamed, "WHY DO YOU WANT TO TORTURE ME!"
Sydney bit her lip, her face quivering as though he'd slapped her. She slowly retreated into her nearest seat, and kept her gaze low. Usually she got smacked and tortured and didn't blink an eye, in fact she sometimes urged the terrorists on, but she had a blind spot where Vaughn was concerned and him turning on her was the last thing she'd ever expected.
"Really, Syd! Why are you doing this to me? Does it make you feel good to go through scenes of what could have been because it doesn't for me! Why do you want me to watch you in pain!"
"Pain? I was pretty peaceful, considering the circumstances," Sydney argued.
"Shut up!" Vaughn scolded her. "You and I know what could have been but I thought we were over that. I thought we were mature enough adults to put that behind us."
"We are," she put in but it was like Vaughn never heard her."
"You know that's never going to happen, t~that we can never go back to that. So hwy are you shoving that memory in my face?" Vaughn cried, his eyes filled with loathing. "Stop TEASING ME! You know I love Lauren~~~why can't you just drop it! Why don't you accept that I've moved on?!"
"I~I have V~Vaughn, I have," she began sputtering, frantically wiping her tears away, trying not to let him see them but she was no match for the emotion that overwhelmed her. "I know you love Lauren, you made it very clear that day in the classroom and this afternoon at the Agency."
"Then why do you keep bothering me? My marriage is a mess because of you!"
Sydney gulped down the pain that rushed to her throat like bile. She'd never heard such hurtful words. And Michael seemed to realize that too. "I~I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that. I~it's just~~~ you were everything to me Vaughn, and I'm only human, I can't just shut down my feelings. I thought I was doing pretty good, I really just wanted to talk~~~but if that bothers you~~~I~I'm~~~I'm sorry."
Vaughn watched Sydney cry with difficulty. What had come over him? What had made him say the things he had? "Oh come off it, Vaughn," his conscience told, "you know those words would hurt, you knew they would make her cry."
But it made him feel terrible. Because he did understand Sydney's lingering feelings, two years and a marriage hadn't been enough for him to forget or not yearn for what they used to share.
He stared at Sydney, unable to speak. He'd just broken her heart and her soul had crumbled as well. Man, he didn't know he was capable of that kind of destruction.
"S~Syd?"
"Don't talk to me," she whispered harshly, hugging her knees to her chest. "I've have chosen you shooting me and ending my life before I'd have to hear those words. How can you be so cold, Michael? Do you think I wanted to be gone for two years? You know I miss you. Why did you do that to me? Why couldn't you let me enjoy my only happy memories in peace?"
He didn't move for a minute, his face down, unable to look into her pain-filled stare, disgusted by his own behavior.
"I knew you had issues, Vaughn, and that's why I'm not going to take those words to heart, but you better give me a damn good explanation, or I'm not sure what I'll do to myself when we land," she threatened him and waited for him to raise his head.
When he did, the anger from heart disappeared and was replaced by concern.
"I~I'm sorry," he murmured, blinking to release the overflowing water from his eyes, then he shot his arms out and buried his head into her hair. "I~I'm so sorry, Sydney. I~I just don't' know what to do."
She held him back tightly, pushed his hair back to kiss him on the forehead, attempting to comfort her best friend then she took hold of Vaughn's trembling hands and lowered them and then lifted his chin and gently wiped away his tears. "About what, Vaughn?"
"A~about my feelings towards Lauren and~~~and you," he revealed. "I am very in much in love with my wife but my life, though it literally went to hell at your return, the moment my eyes saw you again, my life felt complete. I am still in love with you Sydney Bristow."
"Oh god," she gasped, a hand flying to her mouth. She'd known he'd had feelings for her, there was no way he couldn't have after how strong they had been, but she'd never dreamed they would be so strong. "Oh god, Vaughn."
"I know~~~this hasn't been easy for me either," Vaughn countered, shaking his head sadly, a smile showing that the feeling was mutual displayed on his face. "And though I meant that I do love my wife, I should have never said it that way."
"It~It's okay."
"Truth is my marriage is in a dilemma right now and that's because I'm protecting you," Vaughn explained then in his most panicked voice he added, "Lauren knows, Syd."
"Knows what?" she demanded then it dawned on her. there was only one thing it could be. "Oh my god. How?"
"I don't know. But when I met her this afternoon. She gave me a set of pictures to look at. They were of the Lazarey murder."
"I knew it!" Sydney exasperated. "Oh I had that feeling. You and Lauren were acting too weird! I just gone down telling my father you should be let out of the obligation to the agency!" then looking very lost she whimpered, "what do I do now?"
"For now, nothing," he cautioned her. "Lauren hasn't gone to Lysney with it, but you know him, he's going to find out sooner or later. Right now, I've convinced her to stay quiet. I know this is going to be impossible buy you're going to have to act like you don't know anything."
"What about my dad? Can I tell him?"
"N~No, he'll get all messed up and he might try to take matters into his own hands. We can't risk that. You're just going to have to trust me that I won't let this get out," Vaughn instructed her. "And especially Lauren. She can't find out you know. As far as she's concerned I've betrayed her and she thinks maybe we've been in this together."
"Together? What do you mean together? You were obligated by the Agency not to tell the NSC, not necessarily Lauren," Sydney reminded him assuringly as though she actually cared about making his marriage work.
"No, not that. She believes I was there, when you supposedly killed Andrea Lazarey. She believes I was your get away, you partner in crime," Vaughn revealed, looking very uneasy.
"That's unreal, Vaughn. I was missing for two years. You might have been on a date with her the day I killed that man. I know don't remember anything but you weren't there," Sydney argued, getting defensive. "Lauren needs to stop this jealousy thing before people start thinking she's psychotic."
"I think she's got reason to be jealous," Vaughn suggested mildly. "After what I told you. And the thing is Lauren has proof to back her story."
Sydney shot Vaughn a frightened look. "Proof?"
"Pictures, Syd," Vaughn explained to her. "She's got close up picture of your face, the one Marshall was trying to decode and your dad tripped up. And~~~she's also got picture of me, Syd. Helping you escape the scene."
She let that sink in for a moment but every atom of her body was against believing him. He couldn't have been. Because then Vaughn wouldn't have though she was dead, and she would have never married Lauren Reed. Things would have been a lot different.
"So, now Lauren believes I've basically put her in this plan she thinks I have where I marry her because she's NSC, get her to fall so madly in love with me that she would want to help me keep you and I under wraps. And even save you because you're my precious ex."
"Like I said, psychotic. You and I, we're not together, so she has nothing to worry about. Tell her that. And besides, don't you think it's stupid for the Covenant to kidnap both of us? I mean, it seems they put something in my head, that's why they're upset and glad at the same time that I can't remember, but what would they kidnap you for?"
"I~~~I haven't figure that out yet," Vaughn admitted, scratching the back of his head then wiped his hands on his thighs. "But wouldn't it make sense if they wanted you to keep quiet. For instance if I was there when you woke up and I assured you that everything was okay, wouldn't you believe me?"
"In other words, I wouldn't scream or rebel," the light finally went on in Sydney's head. 'But, I know if something felt weird of out of place, my instincts would snap into action."
"True, Syd, but with me, you know your defenses slip. Shoot, Weiss always had to give me a jab to make sure my thoughts were on the briefing~~~we were crazy about each other~~~I mean."
Michael looked very uncomfortable. He kept crossing and uncrossing his legs or shifted uncomfortably in his chair as though he had to go to the men's room.
"Stop right there. I know what you're going to say~~~so~~~just don't," Sydney pleaded again, near tears and her heart wrenching in agony. "Tell me what am I supposed to do. Because I'm about to lose it and then I can't execute my mission and~~~Dixon is going to love that."
Michael felt her inner pain and fear at that moment and grabbed her before she fell to her knees. "Syd~~~Hey Sydney, we'll think of something okay. So, I know it's asking a lot but let's just do our mission and then we get back we'll meet up and we'll figure out what's going on, okay?"
"I~I'm scared Michael. I really just want to get up and leave, I want to disappear again," she whimpered. Michael pulled her to his chest and gently caressed her face.
"No Syd, we'll take care of this the right way this time," he told her in his most soothing tone, a tone that used to make her believe everything would be al right. "No more disappearing acts, please Syd. I can't take any more, my heart can't take it anymore."
Sydney didn't say anything.
"Okay, Syd? Promise me."
"O~Okay."
"Say I promise!"
Sydney closed her eyes, leaned closer into his chest and wrapped her arms around his body.
"I promise," she lied as Vaughn tightened his grip on her.
A tear slid down her cheek as Vaughn kissed her on top of her head. Her eyes flashed open and she inhaled the unique scent that was Vaughn and committed it to her memory, knowing if she executed the plan forming in her head, it could be a long time before she saw Vaughn, Weiss, or anyone she knew for an indefinite amount of time.
"It'll be okay, Syd, everything will be okay," he insisted through emotional whispers. "We'll get through this."
Sydney tried hard for a moment to pretend she believed those words.
Yes, finally SV!!!!!!!!! ( Cue applause!) Thanks for reading, hope you'll push that nice little button and send me a review! This is for all you guys! Remember I'm a Total Vaughn Lover and that means I want Vaughn to be happy!!!
In other words: Shout out to SV shippers all the way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE ROCK!!!!!!!!!!
I don't' write without feedback so please review!!!!!!!!!!!! See you next update!!
Total V Lover