I am flattered that I received such a fast response and thought that a fast update was only fair in return. No matter how fast you review I will not update this fast again. A great number of reviews might do the trick again. I would like to warn everyone that the story starts with plenty of angst and if you don't like reading the thoughts of someone suffering from depression you should find something else. Think about the intro for 'An Unfortunate Series of Events. I actually think I will have better luck finding a beta here, so if anyone wants to beta this story please send me a private email with your offer to help. My email is one my personal profile. Your first task as a beta will be to find out if I have the right year for this story to be set in the trio's seventh year. Everyone who is still reading, enjoy.
I have not read Half Blood Prince and have no intention to do so therefore the book does not have any impact in this story.
Disclaimer: Hermione Granger, Professor Dumbledore, Harry, Ron, Draco Malfoy and Galleons are the invention of Joanne Rowling. I am not asking for, nor will I accept, any money as a result of this venture. Just pretend anything else that is meant to be in a disclaimer to make this legal is there.
Chapter One
31st August 1997
So it is now another new school year, anther new journal and another nine months of school to suffer through. How that must shock any one who reads this journal, Hermione Granger feels that she must suffer through school instead of enjoying it to the utter most. Why people can't just see that school is habit and tests simply a chance to prove ourselves, I really don't know. I suppose it is because I hide my feelings, I created my fantasy world and scrimped and saved so I could escape into books when that world collapsed. Then, when I begin to grow and realize that I could not be a princess stolen away in the middle of the night and my real parents will come to save me, I also receive a note that I am really a witch and that I can go to boarding school, (an unachievable fantasy for the past four years), to learn magic.
My, when I think back to how happy I was, my fantasy world could well be real, I could have loving parents somewhere who believed I was dead and who had never stopped mourning me. There would be fairies and pixies and unicorns and I could live happily ever after. I took all the money I had saved, babysitting for three years, birthday money and Christmas money. I sold all my toys and a lot of my clothes and any books that I felt I could live without. My heart broke the day I brought my books to the second-hand book store, I had begged and pleaded for those books, it was almost impossible for an eight year old to gain any real amount of cash and even then I read thick novels, more expensive still then standard children books. They were my salvation but I still parted with them, trying to reach a new, tangible salvation.
Eventually, my room almost bare and all my savings collected together I made my way to London to buy my equipment and books. By the end of the day I found myself broke but almost deliriously happy, the glimpse of the wizarding world I had achieved had fulfilled all my expectations, I would be getting my happy ending when I had almost believed it was forever out of my reach! After a single night on the streets as I could not get home then back to London the next day I was on my way to fairy land.
Remaining honest with myself, I doubt I could have gone home anyway, my parents would never have allowed me to go to boarding school. I was their excuse to fight, their nurse when they got too drunk and their punching bag when they were stressed and my other parent was not around. I still can't believe that every one believed me when I said my parents were dentists. I mean with teeth like those? Even if they wouldn't allow me to charm them, (like I would know how?) they would place my teeth in braces at the first sign of trouble. My parents are an embarrassment and that is simply that.
Even with my first few weeks at school, making my fabrications of a happy home life, telling the story over and over in my head until I almost believed it was real and ignoring the scorn that was directed upon me from every other student I came across, despite the harsh realities of the world, I was still the happiest I had ever been. I was surrounded by other children my own age and I believed that a few could be my friends, I had not been hit, no one had yelled at me or over me, blaming me for all the ills of the world. I was almost happy. Then Harry and Ron brought it tumbling down with those cruel worlds.
"It's no wonder no one can stand her, she's a nightmare, honestly." She was a nightmare, a pain. No one could stand her, not her parents, not her new teachers, not her peers or any other student. The fairies would never accept her, she would always be alone. 'Outside the great big house, standing in the cold and snow, with my face pressed against the window marveling at the warmth and delights yet knowing I would never be invited in.'
But I was invited in, that very day Harry and Ron, the cause of my realization that I would always be an outcast, had invited me into the house. For years I had thought I had full reign of the premises, I thought I had been completed accepted by all except those outcasts that were not accepted by the rest. I thought those outcasts simply resented me because I had been accepted and they were still in the snow. Now I know I was wrong. I had been taken out of the snow but I was restricted to the foyer. I was not accepted and I never would be, I was tolerated and used, treated as a guard dog would be, kept for as long as I was useful but if I inconvenienced my masters I would be cast aside in a heart beat.
Unfortunately I still have not simply resigned myself to my fate, I still hold onto hope that this year will be better. Though this year I have a reason to hope and I have allowed my hope to grow and brighten me. This year the Headmaster has a plan that will place me above a standard student, I have more power then I would have as Head Girl and I am much less of a step below the Professors of the school. Professor Dumbledore has started a Teaching Support Program aimed at providing the 'less gifted' OWL and NEWT students with, obviously, more support in those subjects they are having trouble in whilst providing those students with better then average gifts in their subjects a chance to revise their basic skills and gain experience in teaching. In short, the highest scoring NEWT teachers in each of the classes offered will be giving tutorials to students who are failing. Each tutorial will have a core group of students whom attendance is mandatory and if there is room some students can elect to go to particular sessions if they feel the need.
The classes are limited to ten students from a combination of OWL and NEWT levels so the Student Professor will be able to learn to maintain order from a smaller amount of students. During these sessions the Student Professor will have the same authority as a standard Professor including the ability to dock points but the point deduction must be confirmed by the Headmaster before the change can take effect. We also must attend a weekly meeting with the real Professor of the subject we undertake the tutorial for and we must submit reports outlining our methods of teaching and an analysis of our core students' faults and progress in the subject. I will be paid for my troubles, I will get five Galleons for each term of tutorial sessions, pretty good when you have been surviving on baby-sitting money.
I wonder how many students rejected the offer despite the money purely because of the amount of work required. Harry would have been asked to assist for DADA but will probably turn it down due to the work, I suspect that Draco Malfoy would be asked and I find myself unable to predict his response. I haven't been informed of what my subject will be, the letter simply advised me the formation and commencement of the program and that I was being considered from a position. They outlined the responsibilities and privileges then asked me to reply. I of course accepted and began revising all my subjects which I could be considered for, ultimately everything except DADA, though if Harry did refuse I may still stand a chance for that position as well.
I do know the folly of getting my hopes up, I did the same when I found out that I was becoming a prefect and look how that turned out. If this year is as bad as the last I am beginning to be doubtful that I will survive for much longer. Perhaps that is why I am allowing my hopes to soar, so that when I come crashing down the fall out will be strong enough to take away all the pain forever. I guess we will see what happens.