»Part Five: Shark Attack «
"I'm real sorry, sir," I pleaded to the principal. I had never done anything so bad that it had gotten me sent to the office before. And why was I the one in trouble? Ed was the one who violated the rules, or whatever. He was sitting outside, arms folded, looking like a little kid in time-out. And I was taking the blame. "He won't do it again, I promise."
"He'd better not." Mr. Cahill scoffed. "Who'd you say he was, your cousin?"
"Yeah," I lied. Obviously I wasn't about to tell my school principal about Ed's real identity. "My cousin."
We stepped out of his office.
"Ed!" I half-whispered to my so-called 'cousin.' "You are in so much trouble!"
"Let me handle this," the principal squatted down, reaching Ed's eye-level. "Young man, do you understand why this is wrong?"
"Yeah, yeah. What am I, five?" Ed wasn't even looking at the principal as he talked. I kicked him hard in the shin again. "Ow! What was that for?"
"Oli," Mr. Cahill reminded me who was in charge.
"Sorry," I replied, "My foot slipped."
He turned back to face Ed. "Anyway, I'm gonna let you go this time," he announced, "but you'd better work on those rules, you hear?"
"I heard you." Ed said.
"Okay then." He stood up. "You guys need tardy slips, you're late."
I beamed angrily in Ed's direction. He shrugged and got out of the chair.
"Here you are," Blanche pushed the bright orange slip in my direction. She turned and faced Ed. "Name?"
"Ed," he replied grouchily.
"Yeesh, someone's in a bad mood." Blanche muttered. She's not one to care much for people's opinions and often hosts detentions. Ed shot her a dirty look.
"Come on, Ed." I took hold of his wrist again and dragged him out of the office. When the people inside were out of earshot, I turned and faced him. "What were you doing? You could'a got me suspended! Then what! Huh? What were you planning to do then?"
Ed put his hands in his pockets and shrugged again. For some reason, though, it didn't annoy me as much as it should have.
"Ugh... my locker is this way." I turned and started walking down the hall. I could hear him take his hands out of his pockets and follow me, still walking on my right. I stopped at my locker and muttered my combination to myself as I performed it.
"What's in there?" he put his hands on the front of his thighs and bent down, peering into my locker.
"Binders, notebooks, text books—school stuff." I collected my stuff and hung my backpack from one of the little silver hooks inside the locker.
"Oh," Ed sounded uninterested, "I wouldn't know. Never went to a school like this before."
"Yeah, well," I picked up my Thumper purse and closed my locker. "Just don't let Mr. Chmura hear you say that."
"Mr. Who?"
"Chmura! Biology teacher!" I said over my shoulder, already headed for the stairs, "Now hurry, these slips have the time written on them!"
Ed looked at his slip and speed-walked after me. "Coming!"
I pushed open the door to Mr. Chmura's Biology room. Class had been going on for only fifteen minutes, so we weren't that late.
"Hello, Oli," I handed him my slip. "Nice of you to join us."
Mr. Chmura was one of the nicest teachers I knew. I always felt sorry for him for some reason; maybe it was because the first thing I'd learned about him was that he had dyslexia. He was in his mid-30's, I'm guessing, and had chestnut hair. He always wore a tie and a nice shirt, even though he was a really funny person on the inside.
"Sorry we're late," I said.
"No problem," He smiled. Then he noticed Ed, standing behind me. "Who's your friend?"
I half turned around, acknowledging the person behind me. "This is..." I began, planning to use the 'cousin' disguise. Then I remembered that Michelle was in this class—right in front of me, to be exact. She didn't really believe me when I told her who Ed really was, did she? Only one way to find out... "This is my cousin."
"Nice to meet you--"
"Ed,"
"Nice to meet you, Cousin Ed!" I giggled. Mr. Chmura could be really lame sometimes, you couldn't help laughing. But then he stuck out his hand, to shake Ed's. His right hand.
"Uh..." Ed looked quickly at me for help, flexing his metal hand in his pocket as a clue. How embarrassing was this? Now what!
Mr. Chmura sensed that something was wrong. He withdrew his hand. "Is there a problem?" He turned to me.
"No problem!" I assured him, sounding nervous. I whispered in Ed's direction, "Just show it to him!"
Ed laughed nervously as he pulled his auto-mail arm from inside his pocket and showed it to Mr. Chmura; high-five style. He laughed again as he flexed it and watched the teacher's expression. Everyone in the class looked over.
"Whoa!"
"You see that?"
"Look at his arm!"
Ed slowly returned the limb to its nest, his eyes scanning the room to see everyone's reactions.
"Dude! He's the--"
"Shhh!" I glared at Michelle.
"Oop--" she looked back apologetically, then mouthed, 'sorry.'
"That's quite an arm," Mr. Chmura seemed rather impressed. "What happened to it?"
Ed and I looked at each other. We were both thinking the same: LIE! Neither of us would even dare tell this man—or anyone in the class—the real truth. But what else could be so bad that you lose your arm? And of course we had to say something about his leg... Car accident? Amputation? Shark attack? Ooh, shark attack! That could just barely explain it.
"Uh... shark attack!" I blurted out.
"Shark attack, huh?" Mr. Chmura was very excited.
Ed was quick to catch on. "Yup. My left leg's auto—I mean, metal—too." He lifted up his pantleg for everyone to see. The class was indeed amazed. Even I was a little surprised at how popular Ed was becoming... wait... popular? Hey! Why aren't I popular! I wanna be p—oh, sorry.
"You must be pretty brave!" Some kid said.
"Hah," Ed's ego was acting up again. "You act like you've never seen mechanic limbs before!"
My eyes shifted to a certain seat in the room. Luckily it was empty—the girl who normally sat there's father had lost his arms in an unfortunate accident as well, and it probably would've made her uncomfortable.
"That's enough, Ed." I put my hand flat on top of his head and pushed him down into the seat beside me. Ed flashed another jerky smile around and kicked back as if he were in an easy chair.
"Jealous?" He looked at me with one eye open, still smirking like an idiot.
"Just pay attention, would'ya?" I slapped a piece of paper and a pencil down in front of him. "Mr. Chmura expects us to take notes."
"Whatever." Ed picked up the pencil in his left hand and put it to the paper.
"What are you doing?" I whispered, taking out my assignment book. "He hasn't put anything on the board yet!"
Ed looked over at me and held up his paper.
"I said to take notes, not doodle on it!"
"You're one to talk." He pointed at the pages of my assignment notebook, most of which were covered with my drawings.
I blushed and covered the book with my arm. "This is different! Now pay attention before we get in more trouble!"
"O-kay! Time to take some notes!" Mr. Chmura piped up. "Write today's date at the top of your papers..."
"Hey," Ed poked my elbow. "What's the date?"
I pressed a button on the My Little Pony watch I was wearing, then turned back to face him. "April 11,"
"'Kay, thanks." He began to write it in the top left corner: 4/11/...16?
"Ed, what are you doing!"
"Writing the date. Why?"
"It's not 2016! Are you crazy?"
"Not 2016, 1916."
"Ed!"
"What now?"
"It's 2006!"
Ed shot up out of his seat and practically screamed, "2006, are you serious?"
Everyone looked at him. I guess I hadn't thought of that earlier—Fullmetal Alchemist being set in 1916 and all. Too late now!
"Ed, something wrong?" Mr. Chmura was confused and slightly upset.
"What?" He looked over at the teacher. "N-no, nothing's wrong."
"Okay," Mr. Chmura said playfully, "You kinda scared me there!"
"Sorry." Ed rubbed his left arm behind his head and sat back down.
"You okay?" I asked.
"Fine," Ed replied, then muttered something under his breath as if I couldn't hear him, "2006. Where the hell am I?"