Character: Dean Winchester

Pairing : None

Rating : G

Summary: Dean's thoughts about Sam and about what's happening to him.

Spoilers: Just for the episode "Faith"

Word Count : 580

Feedback: I appreciate constructive criticism above all else

Disclaimer: None of the Supernatural muses belong to me and I am making no profit out of this, please don't sue me. I don't have the money for a lawyer.

Bad Things Happen

I'm dying, Sammy.

I know it and you know it.

Only problem is you're not willing to accept it, you keep looking at me with those big puppy dog eyes of yours, like you can save me.

Thing is, my heart, can't be saved.

Doc says so, too much damage, only a couple more weeks to live. Never figured I'd die like this, I always imagined something bloodier and a helluvalot more exciting.

Not like I have anyone else to blame but myself, I squeezed the trigger after all. Pretty stupid when I think about it, big puddle of water and electricity? Yeah, real dumb, dad would be so proud.

I know you and me; we don't have much luck with the people we love. If they aren't being held to a ceiling and burning to death, they're disappearing, just like dad. Thing is Sammy, I don't wanna leave but I haven't got a choice. The ticker's ready to kick the bucket and take me along for the ride.

A lot of people die screaming and a whole lot of people die for no good reason at all, life, it's a real bitch sometimes. Just the way it goes Sammy, I drew the short straw. Guess the only good thing that came out of this whole entire experience was that you and the kids got out alive.

Dad always told me it was my job to protect you, to look out for you. I like to think I've done a pretty good job of it so far, not like you're missing an ear or anything like that. You're walking wounded sure, just like me and dad, it's the Winchester curse, but you're alive. That's important, to me and to dad, believe it or not.

Specialist? That word does not fill me an overabundance of hope, mostly because I don't trust a whole lot of people. I mean seriously Sam what kind of guy can prevent death? Can heal the damage done to this big ole heart of mine?

It's not like I planned for this, I didn't wake up one morning figuring the fun way to die was to electroshock my heart into near death. Doesn't work that way, death just happens and you know what they say; only the good die young.

The worst thing about all of this? No cute nurses to tend to my bruised and battered self, one of them, I like to call her Bertha, mentioned sponge baths and lemme tell you I'm so not going to be here for that.

Already working on the paperwork, I ain't dying in this place Sammy. Not with its white walls and disinfected floors, that isn't who I am and you know it. I know you're looking for a way to save me and maybe save yourself in the process but I dunno, seems like it's asking a lot.

Sammy, you gotta let go.

I'm dying and you're not, you've got things to do and monsters to kill. The family business, Sam. I know you never really given a rat's ass about the family business, college boy, but thing is, it's up to you now Sammy. Dad's gone, god only knows where and me, well I'm facing the grim reaper flat on my back and aching to breathe

Sometimes bad things just happen, remember that, brother of mine.