"If all of the strength and all of the courage
come and lift me from this place
I know I could love you much better than this.."
Full of Grace, Sarah McLachlan
...oOo...
...oOo...
1. Denial
It started in the early morning. The sun was already high up in the sky and Kazuha cursed it and it's sun rays coming through her window. Her eyes narrowed as she looked at it, deciding what to wear today.
And then came the ring on the doors. She ignored it, knowing perfectly well it was just Heiji coming to pick her up for school, and that her father will let him in. The steps soon rang out on the stairway and she grabbed quickly the nearest shirt to put it on since she was only in her underwear. Not that she was uncomfortable but..
The doors of her room opened with agonizing slowness and that was the first clue that something was wrong. Usually they connected with the wall as Heiji barged in, most of the times to wake her up rather rudely. But her body froze in place when she turned and met his face.
It was blank and void of emotions. The beginnings of fear spread through her veins. "Heiji?" She whispered carefully and walked closer to him. He raised his eyes to look at her, and Kazuha almost wanted to run from the emptiness that resided there. Slowly she extended her arm to touch him, but his face moved into an angry scowl.
"Don't." He bit out and moved away from her, towards her school bag, picking it up. "Get ready, I'll drop you off at school then I need to go solve a case."
Kazuha wondered it there was something seriously wrong with him, since she wasn't even dressed and he didn't notice it at all. He, Heiji Hattori - the Osaka detective. The Best. "Heiji? What case?" She probed, trying to get more information. Or more emotion from him.
Heiji gripped the bag even tighter and answered her with ice in his words. "My father was found two hours ago." Kazuha was torn between rushing into questions of how and who and why, and between asking him what could she do, but she knew already that Heiji was not going to answer her those questions. So there was only one left..
"Is he..?" She started, and then was interrupted by Heiji's angry yell before he stormed out of the room, the doors closing with a bang after him. "I said get ready!"
Turning back to the chair to pick up her skirt, briefly she caught the sun rays shining on her table. She wished it was raining.
..o..
2. Bargaining
"Heiji, please!"
"I said no."
Kazuha let out a sigh and dropped her hands from his arm where she grabbed him earlier, trying to stop him from leaving school. "Please, stay with me today - let someone else.."
Heiji turned in a flash to face her, eyes on fire and mouth in a firm line. "No, Kazuha. This is.. This is my father we're talking about. I need.. I need to do it."
She closed her eyes for a moment and tried to calm herself. She knew how it felt to have someone you love in danger, to have that someone die - she has been through it with him so many times - she was well aware how did it feel, to be torn up between emotions like these. "All right. All right. Just.. Just come back to pick me up. Can you do that? I want you to pick me up."
Heiji lowered his eyes and moved his away from her, one hand gripping the front of his cap. He was aware she was bribing him to at least spend some time away from the case, and still.. Promises were promises, specially the ones with Kazuha, even if she didn't word them that way. For a short glance his green eyes connected with hers. "I'll be here to pick you up."
..o..
3. Anger
He was there to pick her up just like he said. Not promised. Said. He was waiting for her in front of the school gates, leaned on them with heaviness she rarely, if ever, saw in his figure. He looked absolutely drained - there was tiredness etched on his face already and it was three in the afternoon.
"Can you move a bit faster, Kazuha? I told the cops I'd be back by four." He grumbled as she neared him. Kazuha tried not to frown, instead shook her head and caught in his steps. "So you came just to pick me up? What for, Heiji? If you really want to be on this case 24/7 then you shouldn't have.."
He stopped walking as if the words burned him in place. Kazuha turned to him and his frame was shaking with repressed anger. "Heiji.. I'm sorry, I didn't.."
"That's right! You didn't think! You stupid little..., of course you didn't think - this is my father! My father is dead, dammit, and if I want to drive myself to death by solving his case then so be it! And I actually thought you would understand.. Damn-it!" He yelled, more screamed. Kazuha was instantly sorry for saying anything. Because whatever she said, it came out wrong. But this was his father - oh god, his father - the man they all thought was almost invincible, and Heiji the first in line to say so.
She took one step towards him, but stopped when Heiji slammed his fist on the wall of the building they were standing by. "My father, Kazuha!" He yelled again at her, drawing his fist away and turning on his heels.
He left her there alone, in the middle of the street, and Kazuha couldn't help but feel left out. Again. Even if it was his father - he could have said.. He could have, well, he didn't have to include her into the case, but if just.. If he just asked her too..
Help.
..o..
4. Despair
It was by dinner time when she got a phone call from the officer who was on his morning duty when Heiji's father was found. "Could you please come to the station? Young Hattori could use you here." Again, there was no mention of the word help, but Kazuha knew a plea when she heard one.
When she walked into the station, Heiji was staring at some man of some thirty years in a police uniform with such hatred that she could feel it rolling off in waves through the room. With one hand still on the doors, she called him out in a whisper.
"Heiji..?"
He stiffened at her silent voice, which carried worry and need in it and glanced at her from the corner of his eyes. The officer standing next to him grabbed the other one and only then did she notice the handcuffs on the man's wrists. Heiji almost snarled when the man laughed in his face.
"What is it boy? Couldn't handle the truth?"
In a blink of the eye Kazuha could see the curling of Heiji's fist and his intention, and it took all her strength to jump to him and wave her arms around him. "Don't! Please, don't, he's not worth it! Heiji!"
His whole body shook and under her fingers she could feel the pace of his quickened heartbeat. Then he let his hands down by his body and sagged a bit in her hold. Two officers took the man away, and all she got to hear from Heiji was:
"Take me home."
..o..
5. Acceptance
It started to rain the very moment they stepped inside of his house. Wordlessly Kazuha followed him up to his room and closed the doors after them. Heiji sat down on his bed heavily, sinking into the blankets that lay unmade from this morning.
She stood there, as if waiting, but still not knowing what she was waiting for. When Heiji was in question - these situations always took time, she knew that. Her eyes scanned his room and landed on the picture on the table by the window. Her breath hitched in her throat and Heiji looked up, following her eyes.
He got up and walked over to the table, picking up the framed photograph. There was such sadness on his face that she felt her heart breaking. With two small steps she was behind him, one hand on his shoulder. That was, it seemed, all it took for the strong, brave and a little reckless detective to break down. His shoulders sagged and a sob escaped through his lips.
"Oh God, Kazuha.." He whispered and in an instant her arms went around him just as his legs gave out under him. They both slumped onto the floor, Heiji's face buried in her shoulder and his face marred by the tears. Soon her face was wet too, all the pain she shared with him finally out in the open.
Heiji's arms hugged her, gripped her shirt and pulled her even closer, his nose pressing on her throat. "He's dead.. for such a stupid mistake.. Oh God." Was all he was able to say before strong sobs racked his body, and Kazuha just held him. Held him there, in her lap and in her arms, while the rain drummed against the windows in a slow agonizing fall of acceptance.
Kazuha let him cry it out and just.. He was there for her - always. Always a constant rock and support and even her saviour. Heiji, her strong, strong Heiji - he was always here for her. And this time...
This time she is here for him.
AN: Lol. Just read the latest addition to 30 hugs H/K by Candyland.Seems to me Candyland and I had similar ideas. She just used Kazuha's mother and I used Heiji's father. I swear it was unintentional. This story came up from too much listening to the qouted song above, and was actually planned for Naruto (Naruto/Sakura) pairing, but it was too cliche to me.
Oh well..