TITLE: Harry Potter and the Obligatory Sequel, Chapter Nine
RATING: PG-13
DISCLAIMER: Belongs to J.K. Rowling, etc.
BETA: The Incredible Irisgirl12000, and all further mistakes are mine.
NOTES: A catfight for Silvarbelle.
SUMMARY: Harry inveigles Severus to help him out, and Snape has a showdown with Remus at high noon outside the saloon. Or in the evening in the staff room. Take your pick.

Chapter Nine: Captivating Kisses and Killer Confrontations

Harry was exhausted. The D.A. meeting had lasted almost two hours, and he'd done more walking and talking and demonstrating than he would have believed. Colin had insisted he was having trouble with Impedimentia, and Harry'd had to show him over and over again. Finally he'd ended up just grabbing Colin's hand and directing the movement himself; it was a lot quicker and easier than trying to put it into words, although it also caused Colin to break out in a series of squeaky giggles.

Harry fell onto his bed, thinking of Severus. He had to get the man to help him with the D.A. He just couldn't do it on his own.

Ron let out a muffled grunt as he, too, flopped down on his bed, still clothed and already beginning to snore. He'd done as much work as Harry—maybe more. No doubt Hermione was worn out, as well. It was so hard with just the three of them—no one listened half the time, or took them seriously.

Harry began to formulate a plan to get Snape to go along with things. He grinned. It mightn't work, but hopefully it would be sneaky enough. It was worth a try, at any rate. Now, if he could just get rid of Blaise…

In Potions the next day, Harry stayed after long enough to whisper, "I love you. See you later," to Snape. He waited long enough to watch the man roll his eyes and nod reluctantly. Harry hid his smile, blowing Severus a kiss goodbye.

Merlin, the man was hot when he glared like that.

OoOoOoOoO

Snape turned the page of the book he was reading. He was absolutely absorbed and didn't notice the noise right away. After a few minutes, though, the sound had grown in volume, and he looked up, aggravated. Giggling. Talking. Shouting. Inconsiderate bastards, he thought. What the bollocks are they doing right outside my only window?

It was his only window, set high in the dungeon wall, allowing a small semi-circle of dim light into his library. He finally got up and walked over to it, squinting through the dusty glass. It looked like a group of students. After a moment, he tapped on it loudly. There was no effect on the crowd of pitiless revellers. He knocked louder. Nothing. Infuriated, Severus cast Sonorus on his throat and yelled, "YOU OUT THERE! YOU BAND OF MERRY MENTAL DEFECTIVES! KNOCK OFF THAT BLOODY RACKET!"

There was a long, lovely moment of silence, and then a burst of cacophonous laughter.

Severus marched out onto the grounds, cursing a God that would allow the sun to shine with such blissful brightness on a man swathed head to foot in black. It never occurred to him that he could simply wear something else. The sun shone, and Severus Snape wore black. That was simply the natural, unalterable state of the universe. On the whole, he felt it far more likely that the sun should behave differently before he chose different clothing. After all, there were clouds, weren't there? Couldn't the sun just try on a few of those?

He muttered furiously to himself, wondering why the hell the world had to be such an obnoxious place. Potter was probably behind it all. And God help him, Severus would probably end up being nice to the nuisance. Snape wasn't sure where this odd desire to put the brat before himself came from, but it seemed to be overtaking him more and more often lately.

Stopping, Snape shielded his eyes from the brilliant glare of the late summer sunshine, peering about. There. By that tree. He couldn't see Harry, per se, but there were a couple of red heads and a bushy one, as well, and those were unmistakeable.

As Severus neared the motley group, his feet slowed reluctantly. Harry was lounging beside Colin Creevey, a book in one hand and a golden apple in the other. He was also shirtless. That Weasley wench was present, as well, newly sprouted knockers erupting from her dress. Snape bit his tongue hard and held it.

"Snape? Hey!" Harry jumped to his feet, his face surprised and frustratingly happy. "Did you need something?"

"Is there a reason the lot of you are gathered about here, trying to break the school's decibel record?"

Harry seemed to think this over, tilting his head to the side, his vacant eyes directed at parts unknown. "Well…no, I guess not…" he said slowly.

Severus was riveted by one shining drop of sweat that fell from the youth's face, landing on his collarbone, suspended for one long moment before slipping down the slim chest. "Erk," the man announced eloquently.

"Huh?"

"Put your shirt on. You'll catch your death like that."

"But Professor, the temperature is on the high side today," Hermione said, puzzled.

"Of heatstroke, I was about to finish before being rudely interrupted," Severus managed. He felt inordinately proud of himself for being so articulate in the face of such lickable adversity.

"Oh, I have grass stains on my shirt, I can't possibly wear it," Harry informed him with such false innocence that it wasn't even amusing.

Snape scowled. "Very well, then," he grumbled. "Potter. I want you inside. Now. The rest of you—bugger off and stay out of my way. You've provoked me enough for one day, and if you bother me again you'll find detention is NOT just for Boys Who Lived."

Harry drifted behind the man, deigning to give him a beatific smile whenever the man glanced over his shoulder.

As they entered the Potions Master's quarters, Snape rounded on Harry, pegging the boy with one anthracite eye. "What the devil do you think you're doing, running around half-dressed?" he demanded

Harry blinked. Shrugging slightly, he answered, "Well, it's probably one of the few nice days left that I'd have a chance to sit outside after class, and I wanted a bit of a tan. I don't want to end up all pasty, that's all."

Severus sniffed. "Potter, you're British. Trust me, you're doomed to a lifetime of pasty-skinned ignominy."

Harry just laughed, draping himself into his chair like a decorative chenille throw. Looking suddenly shy, the boy smiled just a little, and shrugged, his shoulders curling in. Severus shuddered. It was outrageously unfair that such a torrent of sweetness and innocence and unabashed sensuality could be bottled up in such a perfect package. It smacked of a prayer answered, and Severus didn't hold with such nonsense as Gods or religious fervour.

Harry sucked his lower lip into his mouth for a moment, and it emerged from between his teeth glossy and reddened. He reached one hand out, beckoning for the Potions Master to come closer.

For a moment, Severus Snape did believe in God.

Then Harry pulled him down into a gentle, wet kiss, and Severus Snape believed in Harry. Who was much more of a devil than a God, when Severus thought about it. Still, running his hands over that narrow, warm body was delightful, and the way Harry kept pulling him closer was extraordinarily gratifying. Severus had had few people that ever wanted to be close to him, let alone closer.

Eventually, the man pulled away with a sigh. "You are incorrigible, Mister Potter," he muttered, weaving thin fingers through the youth's unruly hair. He managed to retreat to his own chair, where he sat down heavily.

Harry followed immediately, scooting himself onto Severus' lap.

"I got you your own chair so that you wouldn't feel the need to plonk yourself down on me whenever you wished to sit. I may be many things, Potter, but I am not furniture."

Harry beamed, placing both hands on Severus' face. "I," he announced loudly, "adore you, you cynical old crab."

Snape smiled despite himself. "I'd trade you for a tin Sickle, sentimental simpleton," he replied dryly.

"Oh, really? Then why doesn't Voldemort own me right now?"

"He hasn't offered me a tin Sickle."

Harry wrinkled his nose and stuck his tongue out.

"Though if you want the truth," the man added in a dark voice, "the main reason I've not turned you over to the Dark Lord and basked in the glory of having done so is that you're mine, and I don't share."

Harry's eyes slid shut, and he wriggled closer to Snape, causing the man to feel a flicker of lust deep in his belly. "You don't play well with others, either," Harry pointed out, his lips against Snape's jaw. "And your patience is non-existent. So much for manners, huh?"

Severus dug his hand into the boy's hair, both cradling it and keeping it in position. "Mmm. And what about your manners, brat? What do you call hooting and hollering outside someone's window? What do you call barging into their rooms whenever you please? What do you call crawling all over them like Mount Everest?"

Harry chuckled. "Foreplay?"

Snape locked his mouth on the boy's, thrusting his tongue into Harry's mouth. He shivered when the youth moaned loudly, hands scrabbling for purchase in the Potions Master's robes.

He broke off long enough to kiss the boy's neck, and Harry gasped. "Severus?" he said, his voice low and needy. "Will you…please help me with the D.A.? Please?"

The man pulled away, astounded. "Not that again! Potter…" Harry derailed his train of thought by raising one of Snape's hands to his mouth and sucking lightly on the tip of his finger. The man felt a rush of blood to his crotch, and he swallowed hard. "We'll see, all right?" he said. "Please stop that."

Harry looked disappointed, but let go of the finger. "Okay. Now will you help me? Pretty please? With sugar and a cherry on top? Or vinegar, if you prefer?"

Snape held his tongue, resolutely not replying that what he craved was a generous helping of Harry. "Fine," he said through clenched teeth, because it was the only halfway safe thing he could think to say.

Harry grinned broadly, before wrapping his arms around the man and giving him a quick succession of love bites up and down the neck. "Thanks!" he exclaimed.

"You should go," Snape groaned. Before I come, he added silently.

"All right." Harry got to his feet and headed out, looking pleased with himself.

"Potter…did you plan that?"

Harry looked over his shoulder, eyebrows drawn together in confusion. "Plan what?"

"Never mind."

"See you later, Snapie-pie."

"DON'T YOU DARE START CALLING ME THAT!" Snape bellowed.

"Oooooh, touchy. Fine, be that way. 'Bye, tiger," Harry called from the doorway.

Snape did his best to ignore his quickly developing headache, and went to pour himself a drink.

OoOoOoOoO

"You know, Harry, I've been talking with the other Quidditch players, and we think you'd make a brilliant captain," Ginny announced, perched beside Harry on the arm of his chair. He and Ron were trying to play Wizard's Chess, but he'd never win with this sort of interruption going on.

Harry gaped at her. "But…what about Ron? I mean, I'm flattered that you'd think of me, but Ron's really been a steadier player, especially lately."

Ginny shrugged. "Ron's distracted. His mind's always on Hermione."

"Well, my mind is always on Snape, you know?"

For a moment, Ginny's eyes narrowed. Then she smiled sweetly. "Of course, but you don't want to be clingy, do you? I don't know about men, but from a woman's perspective, there's nothing worse than a bloke who doesn't have any interest outside of the girl he's with. It's suffocating. And creepy."

Harry squirmed in his seat. Part of him recognized what Ginny was trying to do, but another part thought she might be right. It would be good to have something to take his mind off Snape when the man needed breathing room, and it would be even better to have something to take his mind off Voldemort.

"I wasn't really even all that into Quidditch last year," he pointed out. "I had too many other things on my mind."

Ginny patted his shoulder. "I understand," she told him. "But the thing is, you've got a real take-charge personality, and the other players look up to you. We'd really appreciate it if you gave it a go."

Harry glanced over at Ron, who was glumly poking at pawn. "Ron? What d'you reckon?"

Ron shrugged. "Up to you, mate. I say go for it. Why not?" He offered Harry a rather strained smile.

Turning back to Ginny, Harry shrugged again. "I'll think about it."

OoOoOoOoO

Severus was striding into the staff room when he became aware of the werewolf's presence. It brought him up short, and he paused almost awkwardly before closing the door behind him. Lupin was seated at the table, a pile of books nearby. Snape took a moment to gather his thoughts, dignity, and robes. He made sure they completely concealed any lingering evidence of his body's unfortunate reaction to a half-naked Harry.

"Hello, vicious monster currently on staff," he said nonchalantly, breezing past the man on the way to the teakettle.

"Hello, unapologetic child molester," Lupin responded calmly, marking a paper.

Snape froze, furious. "What did you just call me?"

"Hmm? I believe I called you a paedophile," Remus replied coldly, meeting the man's eyes.

Snape was shocked. This was hardly the wet werewolf he knew and…hated. After a few moments, he realized he was shaking—with anger or some other more foreign emotion, he wasn't certain. "I'll have you know that your opinion matters not one whit to me, and you may call me any damned name you please. Although, if I were to reflect on it, I'd have to express my lack of surprise at the fact that you've not grown out of name-calling. Snivellus, paedophile—it's all the same to me."

"I never called you that," the werewolf replied quietly, although his eyes dropped back to his papers.

Snape banged the tea set around, noisily serving himself, refusing to retreat to his dungeons. He had as much right as anyone to enjoy the staff room, idiot infested dump that it was. "And yet you've the gall to equate my entirely sexless relationship with Potter—at seventeen years old—to child molestation?" he suddenly snarled, rounding on the man.

Remus shook his head, slamming his quill down and standing to face the man. "I just can't condone it. You're twice his age, you're male, and you—and you—" The Defence professor took a deep breath. "I don't think you'd have anything to do with the boy, except you're getting revenge on James."

Snape was flabbergasted. His cup fell from nerveless fingers, shattering on the floor, splashing his feet with hot tea. "WHAT? Are you out of your bleeding mind? How the HELL is this a satisfying revenge—knowing that whatever James could hold over me, whatever he'd bested me at, Harry has managed so much more? That brat owns me. He's taken over my ruddy life. Believe me, if I wanted revenge on that bastard, there are far better ways I could think to do it than by falling in love with his son. For my money, it's more appropriate to say James has gotten his revenge on me."

Snape was pacing, gesticulating, wild-eyed and angry.

Lupin scowled, an action completely out of character for him, and one that went unnoticed by his colleague. "If you really loved him, you'd let him the hell alone," he said quietly.

Snape halted. "Don't you tell me what I should or shouldn't do. It's none of your business."

"Harry's welfare is very much my business!"

Severus moved until his nose was centimetres from the werewolf's. "You hypocrite. The only reason you object to my romance with Potter is out of sheer petty envy."

"Envy?" Lupin repeated incredulously.

"Oh, yes. You're bitter, because in your cowardice, you never told Black how you felt, and now you've lost the chance. Well, he's dead, Lupin. Dead and gone, and now you want to bury Harry's future in lieu of your own."

"How dare you!" Remus whipped out his wand, and Snape quickly followed.

In the wake of a series of loud blasts, Professor Flitwick rushed to the scene to find two of Hogwarts' finest teachers, one suspended upside down in a giant soap bubble, and the other pinned to the wall by his ears.

After a good talking-to and some careful hex removing on the Charms teacher's part, his co-workers were free of their restraints.

"Now, no more of this nonsense!" he squeaked. "Severus, you go down to your dungeons, and I'll escort Remus to his room. I'm afraid I'll have to inform the headmaster about this," he added reproachfully.

"Very well," Snape replied coolly, dusting himself off. "Lupin, I've just one thing to say, and I suggest you think on it. If I had really wanted to avenge myself on James, wouldn't the boy be despoiled, degraded, used beyond recognition, and sitting at the Dark Lord's feet right now? I've no doubt that my infatuation for Harry would annoy James, but I should think enslaving and destroying the child would be a more likely avenue of breaking the man's heart."

Remus blinked at him, and Severus whirled, sweeping out of the room.

Thanks to:
Eagle-Eyes: Ah, ah, ah! Not everything is always as it appears!
Im-a-daydream-believer: You'd think, but he'd probably also resent being asked to do it unofficially, getting no recognition. I think it would gnaw at him. And be nice to Blaise! We'll need him, later.
Chantilli: Aw, thanks! StarryGazer; making Fridays better since 1977.
Sbyamibakura: I don't know Inuyasha, actually. That's not the guy with the fox ears, is it? My anime intake is strictly limited to Get Backers and Mirage of Blaze, and Fake, too.
Lutheyl: Thanks! That bit was a lot of fun to write.
Aribella: Nope. Sorry, I'm sticking with my original assessment; Colin is a cutie. Mostly I love his one cut scene from the movie, which totally made me re-evaluate his character. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I used to daydream about a guy who loved me so much he would read a romance novel like that. Hee hee!
BabeGia103: Thanks so much! I'm glad you liked Larger Problems, too. I tend to get silly sometimes. I'll have another story or two on there soon.
Johnnydoggspitt: Would I do that to you? Besides, Blaise is there for completely different reasons. Well, not completely different…
Purplepaper: Well, aren't you clever? Blaise is about to REALLY stick his fingers in the pie, which should be interesting…and then we'll start getting some insight!
GryffRavHuffSlythendor: That's how Harry convinces Sev. Slytherin of him, no?
Lotrox: Glad to cheer you up! Anytime at all…as long as I've had the time, that is.
Fairchilde: Blaise Zabini: Man of Mystery. He's there for dissention for now, and he'll be a real asset later, instead of just a pain in the asset. Oh, plenty of Harry/Sev action coming right up!
Klondike Bar: Yeah, but he's so pretty. Or at least I picture him as being pretty. For a slightly evil guy, I'm rather fond of Blaise. He's the bloke you love to hate!
And the Justifiable jenonymous: Mwahahaha! My plan to educate is working! My beta and I discussed that word, and I explained that I wanted people to look it up. Next up, we get drills on how to spell 'summary' (note the 'a' as opposed to 'e') 'lose' as opposed to 'loose.' Hee! Anyhow, I love how forward Blaise is. He's fun to write, because he sets people's teeth on edge. Snape would be horrified to know anyone knew about his rendition of Captain Snape deflowering his captive darling, no doubt. And thanks for reviewing my other stuff; it means a lot to me!