An Untimely End

A Witcher-Sanditon-Zombie Short Story

By GirlOfFire01

Geralt surveyed the scene in front of him.

A large beach. Some high cliffs. Seagulls wheeling above. Green grass below. Tiny red huts placed along the sea side. Houses - pretty, pastel coloured houses - lined the boardwalk. A few boats floated on the water.

'Are you sure this is the place, Geralt?' asked Jaskier.

'Hmm,' Geralt grunted.

'What are we looking at here, Geralt?' Yennefer stared with a jaundiced eye at the serene scene in front of her. 'It seems peaceful and quiet. I see no sign of monsters.'

'Oh, they are there, Yen, make no mistake.' He squinted against the sunlight reflecting off the water as the sun rose higher to its apex. 'We are just a little early.'

'Night crawlers?' asked Jaskier, a shiver running down his back at the thought of the odious creatures with their sharp claws, and long fangs.

'Worse,' Geralt replied.

'What could be worse than night crawlers?' Yen asked, tensing up.

'Zombies.'

'Zombies?' Jaskier asked trepidatiously. 'What are they?'

'The UnDead. People who come to life after death. They have no soul. A bite from one will turn one into a zombie. They move in hordes,' Geralt explained succinctly. 'They hunt in packs, tearing and eating their prey.'

'I thought zombies existed only in the far reaches of the West on an island, across the oceans,' Yennefer stated. 'When did they come to the Continent?'

'It seems one body was shipped from there. The family didn't know it had already been infected by a mosquito,' Geralt looked at her. 'Your chaos will not work on them.'

Yennefer drew a deep breath, the curves of her breasts rising above the low neckline of her riding dress. 'But it could help,' she said grimly.

'What am I doing here?' Jaskier asked nervously. 'I don't think I want to go into that town. I should go.' He turned his horse around.

'We don't know if the infection has spread to the countryside,' Geralt raised an eyebrow at Jaskier.

'Oh man!' Jaskier groaned. 'I knew I should not have left the Continent.'

Clucking at his horse, Nightmare, (how he missed Roach!) Geralt set it at a trot towards the town. Jaskier and Yennefer followed.

Their arrival in Sanditon did not go noticed.

Approving females eyes followed Geralt's progress. Fans and eyelashes fluttered, as they greedily took in the hard outlines of his leather-and-stud armour clad body. A few discreetly lifted handkerchiefs wiped imminent drool from the corner of feminine lips, as they noticed his strong thighs and tight buttocks.

An equal number of male eyes turned their attention on Yennefer, her windblown hair, the large violet eyes, and the golden curves of her bosom glimpsed enticingly between the parting of her cloak.

None were on the street. They were all barricaded behind closed doors and windows.

A man came rushing out of a nearby house. His hair was tousled, and long sideburns adorned his cheeks.

Jaskier envied the jacket the man wore. It was even more outrageously flamboyant than his. It was a richly embroidered, dark maroon jacket over an equally richly embroidered yellow waistcoat and white shirt, with an open collar, no cravat in sight.

Grey eyes, rimmed in red, looked up at Geralt as he skidded to a halt almost under Nightmare's hooves.

'Are you Geralt of Rivia, the Witcher?' he panted, asking in husky tones.

Geralt nodded. His medallion was not thrumming. This man was a human.

'I'm Lockhart, Charles Lockhart,' he introduced himself. 'I'm an artist-'.

'Like me!' Jaskier exclaimed. 'I'm a bard.'

'Yes, yes, I know who you are. Toss a coin to the Witcher and all that,' Lockhart dismissed Jaskier with a wave of his hand.

Jaskier looked hurt.

'You must be Yennefer,' Lockhart's grey gaze raked appreciatively over her from head to toe.

Yennefer smirked.

'You sent me the message,' Geralt swung down from his horse.

'Yes. Come with me,' Lockhart said. They followed him down an alley to the mews behind the house.

'You can leave your horses here,' he indicated the stables. 'We can talk in my apartments. It is safe there.'

Once the horses were stabled, Lockhart led them through to his house. 'I live here, alone. So far, I have been spared the scourge of this town.' He led them into a conservatory at the back of the house.

Geralt looked around. Paintings leaned against every wall. An easel stood in the center of the room, an unfinished canvas on it. Behind them was a slightly unkempt garden, enclosed by ten-foot high walls. It also had a small door set into it.

'What can you tell me?' Geralt asked.

Lockhart raked his fingers through his long, untidy, curly locks. 'It all began after Sidney Parker's body arrived from the West Indies.' He sighed. 'They - the Parkers - intended to inter it at the family plot they have here. Just after that, people started disappearing. It was days later that we started hearing stories of bodies found in the countryside.'

'Hmm,' Geralt grunted. He looked around, hands on hips. 'How many people?'

'I'm not sure,' Lockhart replied. 'You see, we had been told this would happen.'

'You had been told?' For the first time, Geralt was startled. 'How?'

'There were letters. We, that is, the Parkers, Miss Lambe, Miss Heywood, we all received them, from different people,' Lockhart hunted through an untidy assortment of papers on his floor. 'Yes!' he exclaimed as he lifted a sheet of paper, 'yes, here it is!' He handed the paper to Geralt.

Yennefer and Jaskier leaned over Geralt's shoulder to read it.

'How did Sidney Parker die?' Geralt asked.

'That's what I don't understand,' Lockhart said frustratedly. 'We were told he died of yellow fever. But these letters,' he held up a sheaf of papers, 'claim a man named Justin Young killed him.' He shook his head, 'it doesn't make sense.'

'Who are these people?' Geralt asked, 'and who is Justin Young?'

'They claim to be the Divergent Time Travellers. They've been going back and forth in time, from what they write,' Lockhart moaned. 'I don't even fucking know what a time-traveler is.'

'It's people who use chaos to travel through time.' Yennefer claimed grimly. 'They can alter events to suit their needs, whatever they may be.'

'Justin Young?' Geralt repeated.

'An Elder,' Yennefer's eyes narrowed. 'A powerful mage whose pen, it is said, can put words in people's mouths.' She raised insouciant eyebrows. 'It seems it can also kill people.'

'That is what they claim,' Lockhart nodded vigorously.

A loud thumping resounded through the house. Geralt's sword came out of its scabbard with a soft hiss. They all turned towards the sound.

'The front door,' Lockhart whispered.

Swift footsteps came rushing down the stairs. The door flung open and a beautiful dark-skinned woman stood there. 'Lockhart, the door!' she whispered.

Geralt barely spared her a glance. 'Yennefer, with me,' he instructed quietly. 'You stay here,' he muttered to Jaskier, 'with them, out of sight.'

Yennefer and Geralt crept towards the front door. He stepped to the window overlooking the front door, and slowly lifted the curtain an inch.

Seven figures stood there. They were covered head to toe in dark blue robes, the hoods pulled tightly over their faces. Two of them faced the street, the others faced the door.

The one in front raised a feminine hand and banged the knocker again.

Geralt slowly turned the knob, the door parted slightly. He looked through it.

These were women! he thought in amazement. Who and what were they? He couldn't smell death, a scent that would hang around a zombie. It was safe. He held the door open for them.

'Thank you,' the one in front said in clipped English tones, her voice low and quiet. Once the door closed behind them, they slipped off their hoods.

'Who are you?' he frowned.

'We are the Sisterhood,' the leader of the team answered.

'The Sisterhood. Sisterhood of what?' he asked puzzled. He noticed there were no introductions.

'You are Geralt of Rivia?' she asked imperiously.

Geralt nodded and sheathed his sword. Yennefer eyed them suspiciously.

'You do not need to know who we are. Just know that there is a legion of us. We have followed your exploits closely. We were the ones that told Lockhart to contact you. We are glad to welcome you here to Sanditon.' The leader bowed her head regally.

'Is Jaskier not with you?' one of the others piped up from the back.

'Hush!' the leader admonished.

'Well, I do want to see Jaskier in person,' the other one grumbled with a pout.

'Not till episode four, darling,' another one comforted her.

'Episode four?' Geralt was extremely confused. There were episodes? Episodes of what? He shook his head to clear it. 'Hold on!' he exclaimed, as they made to move en masse towards the back of the house. His sword was in his hand, blocking their way.

'Eeeps!' squeaked another of the sisters, round-eyed, looking from the sword to him. 'That was fast!' A slow appreciative grin broke across her face.

'Explain your presence here first,' Geralt commanded.

'I thought I already told you,' the leader frowned at him.

Geralt shook his head, his white locks flying around his face in slow motion. Several chests rose with deep breaths.

Yennefer shook her head, bored. He always had this effect on women.

'Tell me who you are,' Geralt was exasperated.

'We're also time travellers,' said the leader.

Immediately Yennefer was on guard, her hands curling in front of her, prepared to strike.

'Oh no, no,' the leader gestured to her. 'No need for that.'

'Justin Young is our chief and we know that he did right by killing off Sidney. We're the ones that are loyal to Justin. The group accusing Justin Young of offing Sidney are a divergent branch of our Sisterhood. There was no other way, you see,' she said softly. Her face was cast in sorrow.

'We all loved Sidney very much, but after what he did,' she shook her head. 'There was no other way,' she repeated as she held out her hands in supplication.

'What do you know of the zombies?' Yennefer folded her hands across her chest.

Geralt took a moment to appreciate how the action plumped up her breasts.

'Did Charles not tell you? Well, they brought Sidney back to Sanditon to bury him. He died of the yellow fever, as Justin had written. But when they brought him back, they didn't realize that that mosquito had also sucked the blood of a zombie. When it bit him, it turned him into a zombie, too.'

'Hmm,' Geralt grunted.

'We are now here to help you put Sidney to rest once and for all.'

'Could this Justin not do it again?' Geralt frowned.

'Afraid not,' the leader said. 'He has written that you must kill him now,' she sighed.

'Where do we find this Sidney zombie?'

'Wait!' Yennefer said. 'Before you go haring off after another monster, I must figure out how to kill an Undead One.'

She swirled her hands, and a portal opened up! In she stepped, and it closed.

The Sisterhood gaped at it, until five minutes later, the portal opened, and out popped Yennefer!

'Right,' said Yennefer. 'You have to behead him or put a stake through his heart,' she told Geralt. 'Undead ones are sometimes vampires, too,' she frowned, 'so you have to be sure.'

'No!' there was an exclamation.

They all turned as one to the stairway, where a short, brown-haired woman stood, her eyes large in her face. Tears stained her cheeks. 'Let him rest in peace,' she begged, coming down slowly.

'Who are you now?' Geralt asked.

'Charlotte Heywood!' breathed the Sisterhood in reverential tones.

'I'm Charlotte Heywood,' she said softly, lips trembling, the dimple in her chin wobbling. 'He came back for me.'

'Charlotte,' the dark-skinned woman, along with Lockhart and Jaskier had also entered the room.

It's getting crowded in here, thought Jaskier. 'If I may, can we move to a sitting room somewhere?'

'Shut up, Jaskier,' Geralt frowned at him.

'She is right,' the dark-skinned woman said stoutly. 'You cannot do that to Sidney.'

'This is all very good,' Geralt was feeling overwhelmed by all the estrogen in the room. His nose twitched. 'But we need to find and kill these zombies before more people die.'

'Killing the alpha or the first one, will disable the others,' Yennefer continued dispassionately.

'That means Sidney must die again?' Charlotte cried out. 'Georgiana' she held out her hands to her friend, which as you all must have guessed by now, is the dark-skinned woman.

'Sorry, love, much as I hate it, it has to be,' Georgiana gathered Charlotte in her arms.

'Tell us what we must do,' the leader of the Sisterhood said.

'Can you stop these other Divergent Time Travellers?' Geralt asked.

'Afraid not,' the leader shrugged. 'They will become zombies in about … two months?' she turned to the one next to her.

'Yeah, two months till the Time Traveller's wife appears, and then they will be appeased,' she nodded wisely.

'And the Time Traveller's wife is …?' Jaskier asked, looking from one to the other.

'Not important. At. All,' she said firmly.

Geralt narrowed his eyes. 'Let's stick to the immediate problem. How do we find this Sidney Parker?'

The Sisterhood turned as a whole and looked at Charlotte. 'You know he'll come for you, Charlotte,' the leader said kindly. 'Except he is not the same man …'

'… and it is not the same river,' Charlotte whispered from Georgiana's protective embrace.

Geralt was tired of their riddle-like conversation, almost as if they spoke in some kind of code.

'Why would he come looking for Charlotte?' he asked.

'He had a … thing … for her, before he married that Eliza Campion. He dumped her,' one of the Sisterhood said, tilting her head towards Charlotte.

'But he really was in love with her,' the one who had eyed Geralt told him, lowering her voice confidentially.

'Now,' resumed the leader of the group, 'he wants Charlotte back, even though he's a zombie and a married one at that.' She face-palmed.

Geralt flicked a glance outside. Time was running out since he'd come into this extremely confusing situation.

'We need to move fast. Jaskier, Lockhart, stay here with the women. Lock all the doors and windows after us. Do not open the door, until we come back. Not for anyone.'

Jaskier nodded.

'Wait a minute,' Charlotte stopped him. 'I must come with you.'

'No,' Geralt was adamant. 'You do not know what you're up against. They will kill you.'

'But it's me he wants,' she cried, eyes flashing in anger.

'Be that as it may. You do not go out of here.'

She stepped back, breathing fast, red flags of anger in her cheeks. 'No man tells me what to do,' she gritted out.

'Meh! We have another Ciri on our hands,' Yennefer drawled.

'With none of her powers,' Geralt drawled back.

Charlotte looked from one to the other. 'Who's Ciri?'

'Long story,' Geralt said.

'His Law of Surprise,' Yennefer said at the same time.

'You don't want to know,' Jaskier also said at the same time.

'Eh?' Charlotte's head spun as she tried to follow each one.

Geralt slipped out the door, followed quickly by Yennefer.

Inside, Jaskier locked and bolted the door. 'Do you have a place in this house where one can sit down?' he asked Lockhart. 'I'm tired of standing.'

Geralt and Yennefer walked down the centre of the deserted street. They walked slowly, turning often to look behind them.

A door slammed open behind them. They spun around. A man stepped into the street, saw them, and bolted back into the house. The door slammed shut.

'I wonder where he could be,' Geralt murmured.

'We should have asked for his address,' Yennefer said sarcastically.

'Maybe you should have,' he returned. 'Would you like to go back and ask?'

She snorted.

After a dozen yards, they could hear a thump-thump-thump from the next street. They halted. Geralt jerked his head towards it. Yennefer nodded.

They crept around the building, and peered around the corner.

A pastor stood there, his back to them. His robes were tattered around the edges, and he held a book in his hand. The other hand was thumping relentlessly on a door.

Geralt's medallion hummed.

But before he could say anything, another four figures came down the street. They walked haltingly, their knees barely bending. Their faces were open in silent screams. They joined the pastor and began thumping on the door.

Geralt sighed. 'Let's go,' he told Yennefer.

She nodded and they both stepped into the street.

The zombies turned as one. Groaning and growling they advanced towards them, losing their interest in the door.

Geralt held his sword at the ready.

Yennefer didn't dare use fire, the only effective chaos against zombies. She would have to try something different.

'Now,' Geralt growled.

'Initiate Beserker Mode,' Yennefer said (translated from Elder, for easier understanding, dear reader). She tossed the chant towards the four newcomers. Nothing happened. Magic really would not affect them, but she had to try.

'Fuck,' she grunted. 'Initiate whirlwind,' she whispered, and tossed the chant again.

This time, small whirlwind grew from the dust at the feet of the four men. It rumbled and swirled and grew, hiding the men from their view. It rattled the windows of the houses on the streets, and it followed the poor confused zombies.

The reverend still kept walking. Then, Geralt was upon him. One swift swipe with his sword and his head rolled into the whirlwind. It died down.

Geralt leapt into them, slice after slice, until all were lying still and beheaded in the street.

A moan came from just behind Yennefer. She swung around, and leapt off the ground, teleporting a few feet away from the zombie reaching out to her. At least thirty of them!

'Geralt,' she called in warning. The only chaos she could use was elemental. She tossed shards of ice on them. They looked up astonished, and larger slices pierced them, stopping them momentarily.

Yennefer tossed a line of ice down under the zombies. They slipped and thumped down on their rumps, sliding about, unable to get a grip on the slippery surface.

Geralt continued slashing through the crowd; hands reaching out to him, were ruthlessly hacked, and flew around. Heads rolled about, open eyes staring up at the darkening sky.

'Nice trick,' Geralt called.

'Learnt it from Sypha,' Yennefer yelled back.

It was some minutes before all was quiet again. They turned to continue down the street, when they heard the patter of feet running towards them. They swung around.

It was Charlotte Heywood. She skidded to a halt, staring wide eyed at the bodies lying around. 'Reverend Hankins,' she poked a foot at the pastor's head.

'You knew him?' Yennefer asked.

Charlotte nodded, licking dry lips.

'What are you doing here,' Geralt glared at her.

She looked into his face, and for the first time noticed how his orange eyes glowed in the gloom. 'I have to find Sidney,' she said.

'She can't go back alone, Geralt,' Yennefer said, sotto voce. 'It's too dangerous.'

'Fuck!' said Geralt.

'Sir!' exclaimed Charlotte.

'Shut up,' said Yennefer to both of them. 'Do you know where we might find him?' she asked Charlotte urgently.

Charlotte teared up. 'Trafalgar house, his brother Tom's house.' Geralt turned to walk away, when she caught his arm. 'His house is this way,' she gestured back to the main street.

'Is there another way in?' Geralt said.

'Yes, the back door,' Charlotte said, 'is through that street.' She led them down a narrow alley, turning a corner to another narrow street. She gestured at the door. 'Here.'

Geralt tried the door. It was locked. He stepped back. Yennefer pulled a pin from her hair, and within seconds had it unlocked. The door swung silently open.

They crept into a courtyard, and kept to the shadows as they moved towards the house. Geralt's medallion hummed softly.

'He's here,' he murmured, as he turned the handle to the kitchen door. All was silent inside the house. 'Stay here, ' he instructed Charlotte. 'And this time stay put.'

She made a face at him. 'No. I come with you.'

He shook his head. Yennefer and he slipped out of the kitchen. Yennefer murmured a spell which loosely translated meant that no one to go into or out of that kitchen, not even zombies! It was as tightly locked as a tomb, ironically.

Charlotte huffed in anger. She tried the door handle. It would not budge. Next she tried the windows. No luck there, too. Finally, after trying all the doors, she gave up and sat at the kitchen table. She picked up a knife and held it idly, wondering what was going on inside the house.

Geralt and Yennefer made their way to a beautifully appointed hall. A portrait hung in a place of honour on the wall. The ubiquitous Mr. Parker, they supposed.

'I wonder where they all are?' Geralt said.

A door creaked open. The very tall man walked through it. Geralt's medallion hummed madly. Geralt pulled his sword ready. Two steps and two slashes. That was all it took.

They stepped into the room where the man had come from. Two men stood up. One tall and round, the other tall and slim, and very good looking. The rotund man looked frightened out of his life, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down. His eyes pleaded darting from the man who held his arm, to Geralt and Yennefer.

'Sidney?' Geralt asked.

The rotund man looked at the other.

Geralt advanced on him. Sidney dropped the other man's arm and flipped over the table in his way. He was obviously still a strong man. He reached out his hands stiffly towards Geralt. A low moan issued from his throat. 'Charlotte?'

The room was too small for Geralt's comfort. He didn't want to hurt the other man, so he backed out into the hall, holding his sword with both hands in front of him. He swung at Sidney, who swatted the sword away. Geralt grunted with the jar that went up his arm. The man was strong!

Once more Geralt swung at him, Sidney leaned back, easily avoiding the sword. Sidney brought up his arms, his elbows creaking as he curled them into a boxer's stance.

Oh shit! though Geralt, do I have to do this? He raised his sword, and brought it down slicing through both arms.

Arthur (as you might have guessed, the rotund man is Arthur), moaned and crumpled to the floor.

Yennefer sighed. She could not go past Sidney, Geralt had to do this on his own.

'Charlotte?' Sidney said again.

'Sidney!' came a call from the kitchen.

Sidney slowly turned towards the voice. Geralt sliced his head off.

Yennefer waved a hand towards the kitchen. Charlotte came running out of it, knife still clutched in her hand.

'Sidney,' she choked, looking down at him. She fell to her knees, looking from the sightless head to his body. 'Oh!' she cried. And cried.

It was some time before they left Trafalgar House.

Charlotte was subdued, as were Geralt and Yennefer. Arthur stayed behind to mourn his brothers.

It was dark outside, but a full moon lit the sky. The town was dark. Bodies were strewn on the streets, where zombies had dropped dead, like discarded dominoes.

'Did you really think that killing Sidney would make this stop?' a voice said from behind them.

The three of them turned around. Geralt's medallion made no sound.

A tall woman dressed elegantly stood in the middle of the street, her hair glinting in the light of the moon. She smiled sarcastically at Charlotte. 'I can do this again, you know.'

'Eliza!' Charlotte said. 'It was you? Why?'

'I had to live in your shadow for months, my dear. I don't like sharing. Especially not with the ghosts of past loves. Sidney pined for you everyday. I needed you to suffer as I have done.'

'By killing him?' Charlotte asked incredulously.

'Oh no, my dear, he died all by himself, of yellow fever,' Eliza laughed. 'But the rest of it, that was me.' She clapped her hands.

'The zombies?' Geralt asked.

'mm-hmm,' she laughed a little tinkling laugh.

'And all these people, what harm did they do you?' Charlotte cried out. 'Tom, and Reverend Hankins, and … '

'Oh, pish-posh!' Eliza shrugged an elegant shoulder.

Charlotte shook her head. With a speed that neither Geralt nor Yennefer suspected she had, she ran towards Eliza, the kitchen knife in her hand. With her full weight behind her, she drove the knife into Eliza's chest. Once. Twice. Eliza slumped and dropped to the ground.

'Well.' said Yennefer.

'Well,' grunted Geralt.

Charlotte stepped back, breathing heavily.

Yennefer put an arm around her shoulder. 'Come on, let's get you back to that Lockhart's place.'

They knocked on the door to Lockhart's house. 'It's us!' called Geralt.

The door opened and Jaskier looked out, troubled.

'Charlotte's missing,' he said.

'She's here,' Geralt stepped aside, his bulk had hidden Charlotte from view.

'Is it over?' asked Georgiana, as they walked in. The Sisterhood stood solidly behind her.

'It is,' Geralt said.

'Sidney is well and truly dead?' the leader asked.

'Well and truly,' Geralt nodded his head.

'Our work here is done, sisters. Let us leave them in peace.' The Sisters made to move out of the door.

'Stay the night,' Lockhart said.

'All of us? in this place?' Georgiana asked.

He smiled roguishly at her. 'Why not?'

'Would you sing for us, Jaskier?' asked one of the sisters. 'Burn, butcher burn'?

'Of course,' Jaskier preened.

Geralt grunted in disgust.'I need a bath, ' said he, staring into Yennefer's eyes.

Notes:

Both Sanditon and the Witcher are fiction, as is every character in the stories. We should be enjoying every aspect of these two great TV shows. I love both the characters - Sidney and of course, Geralt, The Witcher.

With this crossover story, I would love for us to laugh a little at ourselves, for taking a TV show so seriously, that we would fight for it and over it. This story is silly and campy and hopefully funny. Maybe it will bring a little laughter into the mix, and lighten our hearts a little.