TITLE: Harry Potter and the Obligatory Sequel, Chapter Eleven
RATING: PG-13
DISCLAIMER: Belongs to J.K. Rowling, etc.
BETA: The Incredible Irisgirl12000, and all further mistakes are mine.
SUMMARY: Snape discovers what's happened to him, and everyone scrambles to fix it. Everyone. Plus, you finally find out who the new spy is. Sort of. Wink, wink.

Chapter Eleven: Not Exactly Love Potion Number 9

Harry followed the men into the hall. "I want to come, too," he said plaintively, clutching at Severus' arm. "You can't leave me out of this. It's affecting your health, whatever it is, and I need to know what's going on."

"I'm afraid this isn't a very good time, Harry," the headmaster informed him, giving the boy a stern look. "You will not be joining us. I assure you that I will handle matters to the best of my ability."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" Harry angrily demanded.

"Enough!" Snape whirled on him, his hair tousled and his eyes wild. "Not now, Potter. Just…go. I have sufficient worries without you following me about and getting into trouble. I'll collect you when I am able." He gave Harry another blazing glance, one that insinuated a night of groping hands, hot skin, and whispers from a smoky voice.

Then he swept away, leading Dumbledore down the hall, leaving Harry dry-mouthed and quivering. Harry watched until they were out of sight, then leaned against the wall, resting his feverish cheek against the cool stones.

After a while, he felt calm enough to stand up straight, and slowly returned to shut Snape's door and make sure it was locked.

"What are you doing here?" a curious voice asked.

Harry turned to see his one-time flame and current nemesis, Blaise Zabini. He was dressed in robes of dark blue that complimented his eyes, and the tips of his curly hair were fiery bronze. Harry cynically thought they must be charmed that way.

"I'm closing Snape's door. He had to leave in a hurry," Harry said through clenched teeth. "What are you doing here?"

"Severus and I were comparing notes as to how you rated as a lover," Blaise responded with a sassy smirk.

Harry glowered. "You know, I thought we'd gotten beyond this last year. Why are you suddenly being such a prick again?"

The boys stared at each other, postures defensive. Blaise looked away first, those dark blue eyes suddenly filled with shades and shadows of things Harry didn't understand. "Everyone loves a good prick," he responded glibly.

Harry frowned. "You're being evasive, that's all. It's not working."

Blaise's eyes widened and focused on Harry's once more, suddenly shallow and transparent again. "Who, me?"

Harry felt the anger bubble up inside him abruptly, that same, uncontrollable fury that he'd been battling for at least the past three years. "If you don't want to tell me, fine!" he shouted. "I'm going to find out what's going on, one way or another." He marched away, hands balled into fists. "And stay the hell away from my Severus!" he heatedly added over his shoulder.

OoOoOoOoO

Severus rushed to the headmaster's office, wanting nothing more than to be done with everything soon, and get back to Harry and the potential of a sexual dalliance. His mind insisted on picturing Harry's legs—strong, slender, well-muscled legs, which urgently needed to be thrown over Severus' shoulders. The man rubbed his temple with his fingertips. He oughtn't be imagining such things now. He ought to be focused. It was a losing battle.

"Albus, you have got to stop showing up in my quarters whenever I have sexual activity pending. It's most distracting, and I don't appreciate it," Snape said in a low, irritated voice.

The headmaster merely arched a brow at this out of character behaviour. "I'll take it under advisement. But I must point out that I have very serious doubts as to the imminence of the sexual activity. Harry really is a bit more responsible than that."

"More fool, he."

"No doubt. But if you would?" Dumbledore opened his office door and gestured for Snape to follow him. "Lucius, I believe you had something to say to Severus?" he asked. He nodded to the blond man, who was leaning casually against an étagère with an exceedingly apathetic expression.

"You!" Severus snarled. He whipped out his wand. "Furnunculus!"

Malfoy leapt behind the cabinet, taking what cover the étagère could offer. "Now, really, Severus. Hardly an appropriate welcome for an old friend, I daresay."

"An 'old friend' who's brought me nothing but misery from the first moment we met," Snape disagreed, leaning around so he had a better shot at the man.

"You know, I did save your life last summer. That should be worth something, shouldn't it, my dear chap?"

Lucius gave a small smile, one closer to a smirk, condescending and unflustered. Snape hated him at that moment, hated him more than he'd done in any of the years he'd known the man.

"Oh, you're so right. Here, I'll show you my gratitude, old chum," Snape replied. Then he conjured a silvery cauldron and watched as it repeatedly tried to slam into Malfoy's head. The man put his hands up and yelled, and while the cauldron bounced harmlessly off his wrists a few times, it did make its mark occasionally.

"Really, Severus, that's no way to treat a guest," Dumbledore eventually said, ending the spell. Snape noticed that the headmaster had allowed the abuse for several minutes before interfering, and the Potions Master's heart swelled with something like affection for the man.

"Then have him say his piece and then get him away from me," Snape snapped.

"Very well. Lucius?"

The blond's sneer had turned to more of a grimace than anything, and he was hastily trying to fix his hair. "I came to warn you that I put a potion in…motion, as it were, to be slipped to you. The Dark Lord insisted it be done immediately, so there was no chance of forewarning you. Well, I had rather hoped to see the headmaster in time, but by your behaviour, I am obviously too late."

"How did you get me to ingest it?" Severus asked, feeling cold fear settling in his stomach.

"Parkinson's failed potion." Lucius did not seem the least bit regretful. "And now you're to be kidnapped, and taken to the Dark Lord." He ran a hand through his precious locks, attempting to comb them out. "Happily, the headmaster will undoubtedly interfere with that little crusade, since he's here."

"What is it that was given to Severus?" Dumbledore asked, his eyes hard.

Lucius began inspecting his nails. "I haven't the faintest clue. The Dark Lord said it was something Severus concocted himself, but there were any number of projects he worked on, once upon a time."

Severus had gone very pale, and his mouth was open. "The Uninhibiting Elixir. But it wasn't finished. It wasn't tested properly. It wasn't…meant to be used—not yet—not like this—not on me."

"Yes, well, sorry for the inconvenience," Lucius sighed unconvincingly. "I suppose Albus had better thwart me so I can be on my way."

"Oh, so it's Albus now, is it?" Severus snarled, drawing his wand again. "Funny how you seem to have a fetish for powerful men—you're always in bed with them as quick as—"

He was interrupted by a flick of Dumbledore's wand. Lucius flew across the room, smacking harshly into the wall. His hair was mussed again, and he raised a hand to dab at his nose, which was bleeding profusely. "What the hell are you doing?" he demanded.

"Thwarting you, of course," Albus responded with ingenuous surprise. "I have to make it look convincing," he added earnestly. Lucius was lifted off the ground and shaken like a rag doll, then dropped unceremoniously. "Well, now you look quite dishevelled. Still, I don't know if you appear to have been in a scuffle with one of the greatest wizards of all time, if I might be so immodest. Perhaps a few boils would help?"

"That will not be necessary," Malfoy said coldly, gaining his feet and brushing himself off. "Now, if you raving lunatics don't mind, I have an appointment to keep. With the other psychotic bastard, lucky man that I am." He exited through the Floo, as Snape stared venomously at his back.

"Severus," Dumbledore said gently. "You know what you'll have to do."

"I won't!" Snape replied, chest heaving. "I can't—not now, not when I've come so far."

"You must, or you'll undo all the good we've accomplished."

"But I want to keep him," Snape replied, his dark eyes wide with desperation. "I've had nothing for myself all these years—I've asked nothing, and got less, and he needs me—"

"Severus, that's enough. If and when your condition is cured, you may see Harry again—recreationally."

Snape looked miserable. "I—give me a little time," he whinged.

Dumbledore have him a hard look. "You'll take no longer than needed," he ordered. "Am I right in assuming there is no ready cure for this potion?"

The Potions Master's shoulders drooped. "None. I never got around to it. He was dead—or gone, at least—and draughts that caused the drinker to lose their reservations were the least of my worries. I'd hardly worry, except—except that under its influence, there is no way I can prepare an antidote, and without an antidote…"

The headmaster raised a hand, stopping the man. "Well, it is a fascinating development, and I don't suppose I could blame anyone else for finding it so. Do come in, Harry," he called in a louder voice.

Harry opened the door, looking red and rather sheepish. He held the end of an Extendible Ear in one hand. "Er…yeah. Sorry about that," he said, glancing nervously at Snape.

Snape could not trust himself to speak, so settled for glaring at the boy. Or undressing him with his eyes; it was so hard to draw a line these days. He pinched the bridge of his nose.

"But…what's going on? What antidote? I knew something was wrong with you, but…I assumed you'd be able to fix it. Why can't you fix it?" Harry inquired anxiously.

"Because I cannot concentrate," Snape barked in response.

"Oh," Harry said, sounding relieved. "Is that all it does, then?"

Snape looked like he'd prefer to leave this unanswered, but grudgingly said, "No. That's merely an unfortunate side effect."

Harry looked troubled. "Then what does it do?"

"It…takes away one's inhibitions."

"That's all? There are lots of things that do that. Alcohol does that."

"Yes, eventually, and in large enough doses. But the effects of alcohol do not last, and it doesn't lower everyone's inhibitions. It affects different people in different ways."

"So…this does last, then? How long?" There was a long silence, as Dumbledore eyed Snape uneasily, and Severus avoided everyone's eyes. "Snape? How long?"

"It was ridiculously easy to come up with a potion that would last. The difficult bit will, I believe, stopping it working."

Harry was staggered. "You mean you don't know how?"

"No, I don't!"

"Calm down, Severus," Dumbledore said soothingly. "I'm sure it will be possible to reverse the effects, once we—"

"Once we have someone competent to do that!" Snape retorted angrily. "Don't you understand, Albus? I invented this potion, and even at that age, I was no amateur. This isn't going to be a simple solution."

"Yes, but surely someone is capable—"

"Who, damn it? Who? Because the last I checked, I was the only Potions Master living in Britain. Master, Albus. Do not disregard the title—not when this much is at stake."

"What's at stake?" Harry demanded, his face pale. "What happens that's so bad? Not having inhibitions could be a good thing," he argued when neither man answered him. "You were telling me how you really felt, earlier. You should do that more often."

Severus closed his eyes. "That's not important. The point is; there aren't many clever enough to follow my old notes, and possibly devise a cure. And even less we could trust. And—let's face facts—experimenting that way was highly illegal, and I doubt the Ministry would be happy to learn of it, even so many years after. I can't do it, and it would take someone who met these stringent criteria who could."

"It would have to be someone clever. Talented. And willing to risk your life, of course," Dumbledore pointed out.

Snape's eyes popped open, focusing on the headmaster with despair. "Oh, no," he breathed.

"Severus? You have someone in mind?"

"Oh, no," the man groaned. "Unfortunately, I do. There's only one cursed person available at this school that could possibly meet all qualifications."

"Really?" Harry asked eagerly. "Thank God. Who is it, Snape? Come on, spill! Who is it?"

Snape rubbed his temple. "That Damned Granger," he moaned.

OoOoOoOoO

Hermione was dragged out of the library, where she was engrossed in of her studies, and set to work going through Severus' notes on the potion. They were old, disjointed, and—to Harry's amusement—sprinkled with disgusted annotations such as I can't believe I'm wasting my time on this bollocks and What does the fool intend to do with it, anyway? Get laid? I suppose it IS the only way anyone would look twice at old Snake Eyes.

Hermione sniffed primly at these, bypassing them to transfer the actual potion observations onto her own parchment. "I can't believe you didn't get yourself killed," she told Severus severely.

"Ten points for criticizing a teacher," Snape replied huffily. "And it wasn't as though it was my actual job back then—I had to scribble it down whenever I had a moment. And I wasn't worried—I was a good Occlumens even then, and kept false reports to show him."

"Did you?" Harry asked interestedly. "Why?"

"Because I'm a Slytherin, Potter. We never show our hand. We lie, even when we don't have to. That's just what Slytherins do."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Look, are you lot going to be at this all night? Because I'm meeting Colin on the pitch at the crack of dawn tomorrow to try to train him up a bit, and—"

"Harry, this is really quite a bit more important than Quidditch!" Hermione reprimanded.

Harry looked contrite, but kept hopping from one foot to the other. "I know that, but see…it's not as though I can do anything about it. I'm not exactly useful here, and I hate watching you be useful when I can't." He didn't add that the looks Severus insisted on giving him while no one was watching had given him a raging hard-on, or that all he wanted out of life at the moment was a chance to deal with it.

Hermione sighed. "Fine. I'll keep you up to date, but really, Harry, you ought to be more considerate."

Harry couldn't resist a quick glance at his lover, who was giving Harry 'elevator eyes' and licking his lips. He knew he was a distraction to Snape, who needed to put his mind to work on fixing the situation. Harry also couldn't help but feel guilty for refusing the man when he was so clearly in need. Really, leaving would be kinder to both of them.

"Hermione, could you please stay out of this?" he finally settled on saying. "I know what I'm doing."

"That would be an absolute first," Snape commented darkly.

Harry merely smiled. "Walk me to the door?" The man gave him what would probably pass for a nasty smile, but Harry read a different sort of 'nasty' into it, and flushed.

"If you insist." He made an elegant gesture for Harry to go first, and prowled after the boy. Harry could feel Snape's eyes on his back, and discovered he was having a hard time catching his breath. Hermione was already completely immersed in her notes, having forgotten their existence.

In the hall, Harry winked at the man. "Sure I can trust you alone with Hermione?"

Snape grabbed hold of the front of Harry's robes, hauling him up to face-level and kissing him soundly. Harry squeaked, the toes of his trainers barely brushing the floor. "You know perfectly well that that obnoxious goody two shoes is hardly desirable to me," he said, letting Harry drop to his feet.

"Yeah? Maybe," Harry said with a grin, straightening his glasses. "I suppose she hasn't got my charm, not to mention my debonair attitude. I'm a right catch, aren't I?"

Snape's lip curled slightly. "Nor has she your cheek. Either of them. You ought to get to bed, you swollen-headed berk. It can't take that long for the headmaster to fetch Professor McGonagall, so I imagine Granger's virtue is safe for the moment." He reached out, running a finger along the boy's jaw, forcing it upward. Very softly, Snape glazed Harry's pursed lips with his tongue. "Which is more than I can say for yours, should you linger," he added in a husky voice.

Harry threw his arms around Snape's neck, pressing a series of wet, clumsy kisses to the man's mouth. "Love you so much," he panted, in between the frenzy of kissing and groping at the Potions Master.

Snape nails dug suddenly into Harry's robes, and he yanked the boy away. "And I love you, you wretched vixen," he growled, his eyes stormy. "Don't ever forget that." He glanced up at a noise down the hall; Dumbledore was returning with the Head of Gryffindor in tow. "Now bugger off before I bugger you."

Harry straightened his clothing quickly, and gave his hair a quick pat, shuffling a few steps back. "Sure. Uh. Goodnight, sir," he said, then turned to skip down the corridor. "Good luck!" he told his passing professors, giving them an angelic smile.

Harry was now desperate to return to his dorm. As wonderful as it was snogging Severus, it wasn't the all out shagfest he was craving. At the moment, he'd have to make due with the memory of the man's lips, the curtains drawn round his bed, and a really good Silencing Charm. He suppressed a moan at the memory of Severus' tongue. A really good Silencing Charm.

OoOoOoOoO

Snape flipped through Granger's notes for about the fiftieth time. There was nothing there—nothing! Of course she couldn't help—she was no match for him! She was a born bureaucrat, a follower, a conformist. She was trying to fix a maverick potion, made by a young, foolish, maverick Potions Master. If she didn't get creative, things would be dark. Snape wondered how Harry had managed to lead her astray so many times.

He scowled at the girl, thinking hard. He suspected it had to do with Weasley, but that hardly helped. He vehemently hoped it wasn't anything sexual—he wasn't about to offer the woolly-haired swot anything of that nature. "Granger?"

"Hmmm?" she barely looked up from the potions text he had lent her. McGonagall was reading over her shoulder.

"If you find some sort of cure, I'll give Gryffindor one hundred points, award you extra marks, and make certain you get into any school of higher education that you fancy."

She looked up, astounded. "Will you tell people you gave me extra marks and one hundred points?"

Snape sighed. "If I must."

Granger tilted her head. "You know, just because we don't know how to nullify the potion itself doesn't mean we can't halt the effects of the potion," she muttered thoughtfully.

Snape, whose imagination had already wandered off to play with Harry, his broomstick, and a scandalous lack of clothing, tried hard to pull himself together. "That's the spirit."

Minerva beamed at him, disgustingly pleased that he'd offered to award her student points. He doubted she'd be quite so delighted with the honours he'd like to bestow on Potter, but that was neither here nor there. Potter…Snape's mind was dragged back to recollections of sweet lips under his tongue, and a firm body pressed against his. He shook his head hard. If Granger could merely mitigate his symptoms…

For the first time in recollection, Snape wished the girl every success.

THANKS TO:

Cassie: Yes, I tend to be rather evil. I'm a Slytherin; it's in my nature. (Plus, it's just fun.)
Tris the weatherwitch: I think the hot and bothered is mostly Harry's fault, but it has been rather a while since Snape got any action, so it's probably first and foremost on his mind. I don't like Ginny either—that's why I'm writing her—but I adore my naughty Blaise.
Miki23: Ah, but this time, Blaise isn't the one Severus has to worry about…
Echo the Insane: Well, there will be some more Sev/Lupin action—of a sort—in the next chapter. I'm afraid there'll be a certain dearth of mud/jello wrestling, but they will have a chance at some good alcohol and interesting discussion.
Jenonymous: (sighs) Oh, dear. Thank you, no, I didn't notice. I can change it at my LJ, but it's a pain in the arse to fix hear. (Sorry, I couldn't resist. ; P) Heh heh, 'Parkinslut.' I do like that!
The Sarcastic Typo: Thanks—and they're really trying to piss you off. They work hard at it!
Sbyamibakura: Oh, yes, I bought the new book, but this one will simply be AU from now on. Such is life. Unfortunately, that's as close as they're going to get for a while…
BabeGia103: Well, I do love those cliffies! Snape will get into trouble later, but not for Harry's state of undress, and not with Dumbledore…
serena23: (laughs) Well, I do a lot of kinky stuff on LJ, (crème de la crème, for preference) but I'm not sure anything that naughty will make it onto ff. It'll probably be pretty vanilla, as far as first times go…
Aribella: Yeah, that Gryffindor sense of honour is a real bugger sometimes! And TALK about depressing! That's okay, I'll lighten the Snarry world up again.
Johnny Doggspitt: You know, I don't think 'you suck, but in a wonderful way' could be taken as anything but sexually suggestive! Ah, but do you know where poor Severus will be at midnight?
Lady Darkness13: Well, it was kind of his fault for making the thing in the first place…poor Sev, Dumbledore does have rather rotten timing!
Sweet Mercy: I think Snape will get away with the whole Blaise thing. On the other hand, I think Blaise will get his own sort of revenge…
steffles24: Cookie for guessing correctly! I just love Colin. I'm always looking for HarryxColin stories, but there aren't many about, more's the pity. Snarry's good, too!
Aki: I find Ginny really annoying, so I'll do all the mean things to her that J.K. never will, k? And antic….pation is a good thing!
Chantelli: No, no—hopelessly AU, but never dead. Besides, I like my Snape better than hers! I like hers too, but I like mine better.
Klover P: I didn't stop—I just sort of paused. Do gypsies plead in airports? Sounds odd…
Madkornfan: I'll update as soon as I can!
Klondike Bar: I love the cliffies!
Eagle-Eyes: You live up to your name!
Purplepaper: Yeah, it's one whopper of a potion. And everyone has unacceptable thoughts occasionally, it's just that poor Snape isn't capable of stopping from acting on it!
Lutheyl: Thanks!
Asha Ice: That there was!
And the Gorgeous GryffRavHuffSlythendor: Hee! I liked that bit, too! Yeah, naughty Sev is the best…except for naughty Harry!