Chapter 16

(Not sure how this one'll turn out. Good, I hope. Tis Zelos. Mwahaha?)

Even after the raven-haired ninja had disappeared from sight, Zelos watched the stairway down which she fled. Partially because he was in shock. Partially because he was miserable, and misery numbs the mind to most else. And partially because he held a small inkling of hope that, just maybe, she might come back up those steps and sit by him once more. Yet deep down, he knew she wouldn't. Deep down, he knew he'd crossed the line, the one that separated little mess-ups from big ones. Deep down, he knew that this was one thing he couldn't undo. Every mistake he'd made up 'till then, he'd worried she'd leave, yet he'd known she wouldn't. Now… the redhead didn't know what he knew anymore.

All through the night he sat, his gaze never leaving that stairway. The ball ended and the nobles passed by, yet the power of his grief and anguish was nearly a physical deterrent, so the closest any of them came to their poor, heart-wrenched Chosen was a worried glance on the way by. It was for the better though… If anything had brought him from his trance-like state of mourning, he may well have burst into a full-on tear fest. As it was, the only tear shed was that single silver drop as she'd turned her back on him for the final time. And this time, she'd meant it. Really, truly, honest-to-Martel meant it.

"I hate you!" She spat with tears in her eyes.

Those last few moments replayed in his head, as real as when it had actually happened. She'd said she hated him, and she'd meant it. Really, truly, honest-to-Martel meant it. It hurt more than a million knives in the gut for her to hate him like that… Yet she'd never truly liked him, had she? Never as he'd liked her. All those times he'd hinted it, seeing if she'd pick up on the subtle gestures, yet she never did. From past experiences, he'd learned that if they don't pick up on hints, they're not interested. He would have never looked at another woman again, if he could have had just one day with Sheena… And not in a perverted way, either. Just one day where she loved him as he loved her. But that was never going to happen, and he knew it. It was ironic, really. The one woman who he would give up anything for was the one who didn't worship the ground he walked on. Or maybe it was more than irony. Maybe that was why he liked her as he did, or at least part of it. But what did it matter? He'd likely never see her again anyways.

Dawn found him still sitting on that bench, still staring, and the look of absolute defeat had not even begun to fade from his face. This was the one hour that nobody else was on the streets. All the late-nighters had gone home, and all the early-risers had yet to wake. Only when the sun peeked over the wall that surrounded Meltokio did he snap from his thoughts. The thoughts that had consumed hours upon hours. He glanced back at the sun… It was a hemisphere now, resting right in the center of the arched doorway… 'Follow her,' it seemed to say. 'Here's the exit, now follow her!' But he shook his head slowly. No. She had made clear how she felt about him, and he deserved every bit of it. Part of him cursed himself for telling; another part of him cursed himself for waiting that long to tell. But he had to tell, else the guilt would eat away at him for as long as he'd lived. And if he'd told earlier, he would have missed all those moments in which it actually seemed she might feel something for him. Yet she couldn't have.

'But the tears…' He thought back once more.

"I hate you!" She spat with tears in her eyes.

'Yes! There were tears!' He realized, though what that meant to him he still didn't know. 'If she was sad, does that mean... Maybe she did feel something?' But the absolute hatred and loathing in her voice outweighed the small chance that she may have loved him back, so he banished that thought to the back of his mind.

He slowly lifted himself from the bench, the hours of sitting without moving sending an ache of protest through his frame. Yet he ignored it. That ache was nothing compared to the pain he'd been harboring since she'd left. And unlike the ache, this pain would last far longer…

The soft rhythm of his white and golden shoes was the only sound in the street. Even when he found himself in front of his mansion, no others had joined him outside their houses. He slipped inside, closing the door softly behind him before leaning heavily against it, his head resting back against it's solid wood form. Cerulean eyes were closed, for he feared that if they stayed open, the tears would return. 'She's gone…' Those words whispered through his mind, as if for the first time. He opened his eyes once more, as if needing to see it to believe it. Even though he'd lived in these walls his whole life, the mansion seemed strangely empty… It knew as well as he did that she wasn't returning. And it missed her as well. Her joyous atmosphere filled every nook and cranny of the wooden manor while she was there, yet now… Now it seemed to droop, as if sad for her departure. 'Don't be a fool.' Zelos admonished himself. 'It's a house. Houses aren't alive. And... If I weren't such a failure, neither would be Kage.'

The ascent to his room seemed to take nearly as long as his sit through the night. Step after step after step after step… Part of him wanted to just sit down right there, to lay upon that step and never rise again. For the first time in his life, the Chosen of Tethe'alla actually missed someone… And that was one acute stab in the chest that he could do without. Part of him wanted to hate her for the pain she'd caused, for what he was feeling. This was the first time he'd ever felt so completely broken, and it was all her fault. Yet in a sense, the blame was his in turn, for betraying her to begin with. 'But I had no choice... I couldn't have let them kill her...' For even back then, when Kage had first captured him to demand the location of Mizuho, the seeds of love had been planted in his heart. Even back then, he'd have given nearly anything to keep her alive. 'I was a selfish fool, that's what I was. I should have made her hate me, truly hate me, before we'd split the group up. Before she returned to Mizuho, and I returned to Meltokio. If she'd hated me, I could have convinced myself that I hated her. Then Kage couldn't have put her life on the line, and I could have resisted his demands. Even back then, I knew I needed to do that. But I couldn't, because I was too damn selfish to let go what tiny trust bonds we had.'

The redhead found himself at the entrance to the guest room down the hall. Sheena's room. Never again would another soul sleep in that room, he vowed. That would always remain Sheena's room, even in her absence. Even when she hated him more than life itself. That would always be Sheena's room. He slowly opened the door, silently, as if any sudden move would disrupt what memories laid inside. His eyes widened in surprise when they came to rest upon her clothes, still laying on the floor. She'd forgotten her stuff, all of it… Hesitating a moment, Zelos picked his way over to the purple robe. He lowered himself to the floor to lean against the bed, closing his eyes once more and inhaling her scent. The Chosen shot a quick glance to the door to make sure it was closed. It was. Good. That way, her comfortingly beautiful aroma would always remain trapped inside. In that sense, he'd always have a part of her.

After what seemed like hours, yet not nearly long enough, the redhead rose to his feet. A yawn burst from deep in his chest, reminding him that he hadn't slept since the night before last. Glancing down to the unmade bed, he saw an unmistakable dent in the pillow. Sheena's pillow. He slowly slipped his shoes off, crawling into the bed and laying his head carefully on the pillow. Mere moments later, the redhead was asleep, breathing in the scent of the one he'd lost.

(Awwww... Short, but I guess that's okay? Sheena next. There's one more Zelos chapter, two more Sheena ones. Then the grand finale.)