A/N: (gasp) I've updated already! I know, it's a shock.

I hope you all enjoy this chapter, I tried really hard to capture the mood and emotions and everything as best I could. Hope you like it, depressing as it may be. I know I almost needed a few tissues for this one.

A huge thank you for all of your kind comments and reviews! They make my day! (hugs)

oooooo

My senses slowly came to me as I awoke and the first thing I noticed was the sound of Gippal's light snoring. I felt his arm draped over my waist and one of my legs was entangled in his. Yawning, I opened my eyes and took in my surroundings. It was still pretty dark, probably in the middle of the night.

I stretched my body a little and yawned again. I untangled my leg and turned around to face Gippal, careful not to wake him. In the darkness I could see his messy hair flying in all directions, some of it plastered to his face. His mouth was slightly open, and I couldn't help but smile. He looked like a little kid when he slept, it was almost cute.

I closed my eyes again in an attempt to sleep again but a faraway noise caught my attention. There was someone talking in the hallway... no, there was more than one person. Their voices echoed pretty badly in the airship hall but I couldn't make out what they were saying. It sounded like they were walking pretty fast and before long I could hear them right outside the door. They paused there and quieted their voices for a moment before one of them knocked on the door.

"Rikku? Are you in there?" A hesitant voice asked.

"Yeah... Yunie, is that you?" I sat up on the bed, feeling really confused. Why did Yuna want to talk to me this late?

"Yes... can I come in?"

"Yeah... be there in a minute." I stood up and stretched some more before quickly picking my clothes up off the floor and putting them on. I walked over to the door and opened it and I had to stifle a gasp. Yuna looked deathly pale and a worried expression was etched on her face. "Yuna... are you okay? What's wrong?" I could see the shadows of other people outside the door but they weren't coming in. I took Yuna's hand and led her over to the bed. I heard Gippal start to stir next to me; all of this noise was probably waking him up.

"Rikku... wake Gippal up." She said shakily, looking at the ground. She couldn't meet my eyes, and it was then that I knew something was really, really wrong.

"Yuna... Yuna, what's wrong?" My voice was becoming shaky too. I was becoming very scared. I noticed Paine enter the room out of the corner of my eye, and when I glanced at her I saw she had the same worried expression as Yuna. This was not comforting me at all.

"What's goin' on?" Gippal mumbled and rubbed his eyes before yawning. He slowly sat up on the bed, a blanket wrapped around him. I looked at him, my eyes wide and afraid, and his eye grew wide as well when he realized that something was not right. "What's wrong?"

Yuna looked up to meet our eyes, her own holding back unshed tears. She cleared her throat and grasped my hand tightly. I could feel her hand trembling over mine and I looked back once at Gippal, who was also beginning to look very worried.

"I just received a call from the law enforcement agency in Home. They were trying to contact you, RIkku, but they didn't know where you were, so I said that I would give the message to you." She paused for a moment, biting her lip. She kept looking at her hand and frowning. "Someone broke into your house. They found Cid... he's hurt pretty bad, Rikku, and... Rei is gone. They can't find her."

An indescribably sick and horrible sinking feeling shot through my entire body and I fell back into Gippal's chest. I heard him take in a sharp breath and I vaguely felt his arms wrap around me. I could do nothing but stare at Yuna with my mouth wide open as her eyes met mine and I saw a tear roll down her pale cheek.

"I'm so sorry, Rikku." Yuna choked back a sob. She let go of my hand and stood up, brushing a few more tears away. "We have to get back to Home, Rikku. Come on." She held out her hand for me but I couldn't make myself get up. I felt so numb, I was almost unaware of Gippal squeezing me tightly and kissing my cheek.

"Come on, Rikku... we have to go." he whispered into my ear, but I barely heard him. I looked up at Yuna, my face still expressionless. I didn't know what to think. Was this some weird dream? Some sick joke? Was everyone just going to burst out laughing any moment now, telling me that it was a lie, that my father was just fine and that my daughter was safe, sleeping soundly in her bed?

No... this was real.

I was suddenly overcome with an overwhelming sick feeling and I had to place my hand over my mouth to stop from vomiting.

This was real.

"Rikku... Rikku, are you okay?" Yuna put her hand gently on my cheek.

I tried to speak, but it only came out in a choked whisper. I cleared my throat and tried again. "I... I'm... let's just go."

Yuna nodded. She helped me stand up and held on to my arm as we walked out of the room with Paine, leaving Gippal so he could get dressed. I glanced up and saw Tidus standing in the hallway, looking tired and worried. I gave him a small smile. We waited for a minute before Gippal emerged from the bedroom, looking as pale as Yuna.

Tidus glanced over at him and bit his lip. "Gippal... I know this isn't a good time but can you drive the airship for us? Brother is... he's a little bit too emotional to drive right now."

"I... I'll drive, then." He ran a hand through his messy hair and walked past us toward the front of the ship.

"You told Brother?" I asked Tidus, who nodded. "Where... where is he?"

"In his usual room, by the bridge."

"I think... I'll go see him." I walked slowly to his room, unaware of the concerned looks I was receiving behind me. I didn't know why I wanted to see him then, it's not like he had said much of anything to me the whole time I had been in Home. He probably would blame me for everything, and I had another horrible sinking feeling when I realized why this had happened.

This wasn't a random act of violence... they were trying to hurt Gippal and I.

It would be an absolute wonder if Brother did not want to murder me.

I decided to see him anyway, and when I reached his room I knocked on his door. "Brother? Can I come in?"

"Rikku?"

"Yeah."

He paused for a moment. "Alright." I heard him get off the bed and open the door. He gestured for me to come in before sitting back down on his own bed.

"What do you want?" He said coldly, looking at the floor.

"I just... um, wanted to see how you were doing," I replied, running my hand through my messy hair.

Brother snorted. "Oh, I'm doing just great," he said sarcastically, "never been better."

"I was just asking. You don't have to be such a jerk about it."

"What do you want me to say, Rikku? My father is dying. My last bit of family is going to leave me. I will have no one now."

I flinched. "So what, I'm not family now? He's my father too, you know. My daughter is gone. How do you think I feel?" I was beginning to cry now, tears cascading down my reddening face in pain and anger.

"You and that, that Gippal are probably the reason for this... people hate us now! They want us dead, thanks to you!" He was standing up now, his face clenched in fury. "You both are a disgrace to the Al Bhed!"

I drew away from him, feeling as though I'd been slapped. "You don't mean that."

"Maybe I do." He collapsed back down on the bed and put his face in his hands. "Just go away."

"Fine." I sniffled angrily and turned around, storming out of the room in a rage. I nearly ran into Tidus on the way back to my room, and I apologized quickly before moving on.

I wanted to hate Brother, I really did. He said a horrible thing and I should have hated him. I couldn't bring myself to, though, because a part of me knew that however hurtful it was, what he said was true. They hated, us they have always hated us, and I just made it worse. My father was hurt and my daughter was gone because of me.

I reached the room and collapsed on the bed, pulling the blankets around me. I suddenly felt very cold and I shivered.

You both are a disgrace to the Al Bhed!

A small cry of anguish escaped my lips, and I buried my face in the blanket, sobs wracking my body as I shook violently.

I wasn't dreaming.

This was real.

oooooo

I must have lain in the bed for quite a while before Gippal came on the loudspeaker, saying we were approaching Home. By then I had calmed down some, feeling completely drained of tears. My face felt hot, and I pushed the blanket off with my legs. Yuna walked in the room and I must have looked horrible because she gave me a worried look.

"Rikku... we're going to go to the hospital first...to see Cid."

I nodded, rubbing my sore eyes before standing up. I walked over to her and she enveloped me in a tight hug, embracing me as best she could with her large belly.

"Just remember I'm here for you, okay? If you need anything or need someone to talk to, I'm here." She rubbed reassuring circles on my back and gave me a small smile when we parted.

"Thanks, Yunie." I returned the smile, although it probably didn't look very genuine.

"Of course. That's what best friends are for, right? Oh, and cousins." She gave a small laugh before taking my hand and leading me out into the hallway. "So... did you talk to Brother? How is he?"

I frowned. "He doesn't want to talk to me. He thinks all this is my fault."

"He doesn't mean it. He's just upset right now." Yuna squeezed my hand. "And I don't want to hear that you think this is your fault from you, because it's not and I know that's what you're thinking."

I gave her a small smile. "Okay."

We reached the pilot area and I saw Gippal finish parking the airship before he turned off the controls. He got up from the seat and press a few buttons before the ramp lowered and he walked outside, followed by Paine and Tidus. Yuna squeezed my hand again and we walked off into the chilly air. The sun was just starting to creep over the horizon and in a few hours the streets would be filled with people.

Gippal took my other hand and kissed my cheek. I gave him a small smile, trying to reassure him that I would be fine, that I was not on the verge of breaking like I thought I was.

We entered a small, quiet building with white walls. I remembered, vaguely, that the new hospital looked a lot like the one in old Home.

I only had two memories of my mother. One was of her singing to me when I was very young, although I cannot remember her face. The only other one is in the old hospital, the night she died. I remember standing on the floor at three years old, clutching my doll and gazing around in confusion and fear as many white uniformed people ran in and out, trying to save my mother's life. I vaguely remember the burns that covered her body and dad crying. Brother grabbed my hand and pulled me into a corner, and I thought he was crying too. I remember wondering why everyone was so sad right before a man told my father there was nothing else that could be done and he cried harder.

In that hospital, I watched Dad beg her not to go as he desperately clutched her hand. He told her he loved her, and I watched her take her last agonizing breath. Seconds later, he collapsed on the floor, overcome with grief and despair.

I wondered if I was going to have to watch my father take his last breath in this hospital.

I wondered if I was too late, if he had already gone. I didn't know if I could ever forgive myself if he was.

Yuna said something I couldn't hear to a woman at the desk, who then got up and led us to Dad's room. We came to a door and she hesitated before it, making me grow scared.

Was she going to tell us that we were too late?

"He was brought in with multiple stab wounds to the abdomen. He lost a great deal of blood but, luckily, he doesn't show any signs of internal bleeding. He got pretty lucky."

I let out a sigh of relief. He was going to be fine...

"However, he has lapsed into a coma, which we hope is only temporary. We've been giving him all the potions we can think of to help him, so all we can do right now is wait."

I looked down at the floor, biting my lip. He was in a coma... and there was a possibility that he would never come out of it.

"Thank you. May we go in now?" Yuna asked politely.

"Oh, yes, of course. I'll be right out here if you need me." The woman left and returned to the desk.

We walked into the room slowly and I glanced over at Dad. He had a blanket over him and his face looked extremely pale. He looked just like he was sleeping, and his chest slowly rose and fell with each small breath. I watched him for a moment, afraid for some reason that he would suddenly stop breathing. Gippal touched my arm and motioned over next to the bed where he had set a chair for us. I sat down on his lap and he wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug.

"He's going to be fine, Rikku... he's going to be fine."

Yuna, Paine and Tidus walked over next to the bed and I saw Tidus give Yuna a comforting hug as well.

"I was hoping he would be awake... so he could tell me what happened, you know? Maybe... he might know where Rei is. He could help us find her."

"I know, Rikku." Gippal hugged me closer.

We all just sat there in silence for a few minutes, not quite knowing what to say. I couldn't tear my eyes off of Dad. He looked so pale...

"You know... we could go back to the house, and see if we can figure anything out. Now that we know Cid is okay," Gippal suggested. "Maybe some of the neighbors saw something. We could ask around."

"I'm staying here," Brother said quietly from the corner of the room, his eyes never leaving Dad.

I paused for a moment, not quite sure what I wanted to do. I gave Brother a small smile. "Alright." I stood up, slowly, before walking out of the room. It was so hard for me to leave... I kept thinking that if I left, he was going to die while I was gone. I would never forgive myself...

But then again, my little girl was still out there, and I had to find her.

The others followed and we walked out of the building, slowly making the way to the house. Gippal kept giving me reassuring looks and squeezes but I still felt afraid. I almost didn't want to see the house, not knowing what awaited me.

When we got there I noticed a couple of men standing outside the doorway, talking to each other. One had some paper and he was scribbling some things in it. I recognized him as Dad's friend that worked for Home's law enforcement. He gave me a small smile and walked up to me.

"How are you, Rikku?" He asked, concern in his voice.

"I.. I'm fine," I lied.

"How's Cid?"

"He's alright. We saw him at the hospital... he's in a coma, but he's alive. Brother's staying with him."

"Oh," he sighed in relief, "that's good." He paused for a moment to glance at everyone else before looking back at me. "So... do you want to see the house?"

"Yes," I said without hesitation. I did not want to, but I had to see. I had to know what happened to my daughter.

"Okay, if you're sure. Follow me, and try not to step on any of the areas that are taped off. They're evidence."

Gippal squeezed my hand tightly as the man led us in. The living room light was on, and I gasped when I saw the carpet.

There was a large blood stain near the couch, with a trail leading to and from it. I walked around the house, seeing red dots on the walls, the couch, the floor... Spira, there was so much blood... too much...

Gippal was breathing shakily next to me, and I could tell he was trying desperately not to cry. He was as disturbed by the blood as I was. I suddenly felt faint, and I dropped to my knees on the kitchen floor. Gippal went down with me and wrapped his arms around me. I could feel his tears fall on my shoulder and I knew he desperately afraid for our daughter.

"It seems that someone came to the door and Cid tried to keep them out. There are marks all over the door and the hinges are broken, indicating the assailant forced their way inside," the man explained.

I was crying now, my hands over my face, rocking back and forth on the floor. I distantly heard the others walking slowly across the carpet and Yuna let out a small sob.

"It appears that there was a confrontation in which Cid tried to get the man to leave. He was then stabbed multiple times and fell on the floor, over here by the door. It looks like he dragged himself a few feet over to this spot by the couch before stopping."

Oh Spira, he was trying to save her!

I sobbed louder and Gippal held me tighter, rocking along with me.

This couldn't be real.

"We believe he then took Rei and left. We do not know if he harmed her or not yet. The neighbors did not get a good look at the assailant; a few reported hearing Cid shouting and a minute or so later hearing a child scream. By the time they went to investigate they were gone."

I was suddenly overcome with the urge to vomit, and I stood up quickly and ran outside, gasping but nothing ever came. I collapsed onto the sand and put my face in my hands. I heard Gippal gasp inside and I looked over and saw him put a hand over his mouth, his eyes flooding with tears. I glanced at where he was looking and I saw it.

Rei's bear, Datto, was lying on the floor.

Gippal picked it up, gently, and brought it out to me. He placed it in my hands, and glancing at it I gasped.

On Datto's furry brown face, there were several spots of dried blood. I stared at it, expressionless, and the old bear stared back, eyes black and empty, dead, and I clutched it to my chest and I let out a loud sob of horror... of grief... of fear... fear that I would never see my daughter again.

I felt the world dissolve into nothing as Gippal cried next to me, collapsed in the sand, defeated, his hands clawing through his hair in agony. I crawled next to him and fell into his chest, sobbing, and I let Datto drop to the sand, his eyes staring back at me like he was peering into my soul, yet he was dead, he was nothing, he was dead.

He was dead... like me.

The agonizing emotional pain searing through my body dulled and gradually turned to a numbness, and I was cold, and I felt nothing.

There was no hope anymore... only numbness. Only nothing.

The tears stopped, and fainting, I collapsed on the sand, my world going black.

Only nothing.

And it was all my fault.