Title: "Odi et Amo"
Author: Predstavlenia Glazala Boga
Warnings: So far, male homosexuality, angstiness, violence, and Roy.
Yes, I do believe that Roy Mustang needs his own special warning label. As in "Warning: Contents may be prone to random acts of evil and/or perversion."
Note: Odi et Amo is a phrase taken from the Roman poet Catullus. It means "I love and I hate".
Chapter the First: A Day Like Any Other
"Fullmetal, I would ask why you've idled in Central for almost a month now, but I have a feeling you wouldn't answer. For once, our orders and your personal vendetta synch up; why in god's name would you wait here, instead of following the latest lead on the Philosopher's Stone!"
Ed was only half-listening, his mind flitting far away, like a petal taken by an errant breeze. You know damn well why I haven't left yet, Roy! he thought to himself. The true focus of his thoughts, though, was what could be, not what was. The life that he and Roy Mustang could share. A life of love, where neither would want for anything, because all they would need is each other. A child's daydream, he scolded himself. It came to him then that the Lieutenant Colonel had stopped talking, and seemed to be looking for a response. "What was that?"
"I said, Fullmetal, that perhaps the reason you haven't left yet is because it would mean leaving behind little old me? Is that it? I should warn you, though, that the fickle flame of desire in my heart passes quickly from one person to the next! Even should we spend a night together, I might be gone before morning! Is that what you want, Fullmetal?" He face was distorted, and he faked tears of joy; all telltale signs of the caustic Roy Mustang sense of humor.
He's mocking me! The bastard is making a mockery of my emotions! Of all the rotten things he's done to me, this is the worst! Worse than making me do his damned laundry, worse than making me spend the whole day with Hughes after he got a roll of pictures developed… Hughes. He hasn't been the same since Hughes died. Coming in disheveled and reeking of alcohol, shirking his duties FAR more than normal… I shouldn't be too hard on him, I guess…
"Oh, dear, I think we've lost him for good this time. Fullmetal? Are you in there?" Mustang began knocking furiously on Edward's head, while looking quizzically into the younger man's glazed-over eyes. After a few moments of this, he came to, grabbing Roy's arm in a more-than-slightly angry manner.
"Damn you, Roy Mustang! Can't you just leave me be?" He stormed off towards the door, throwing it open and slamming it shut. It took the contents of the office a few moments to recover from the shock of this encounter. Even then, they were all a little surprised; after all, Ed had never seemed truly angry at Roy before. Oh, sure, they had their little spats, but it all seemed like an act when compared with Edward's reaction to this situation.
"Hey, chief, ya think maybe you were too rough on him? I know he's a State Alchemist, but he's also a kid. You're always ribbin' him, and maybe he didn't take too kindly to it…" Havoc shrugged as he trailed off. He had a feeling there was something else there, but he didn't want to say anything. Not while it was still a hunch, that is. Looks like Detective Havoc had some work ahead of him!
"He is a soldier first and foremost, Havoc. A soldier under my command. Perhaps I could have treated him more respectfully, but, at this point in his career, he should understand how I operate. I do not intend to apologize for hurting a child's feelings. The world is big and unfriendly. That is a lesson that Fullmetal will have to learn sooner or later." He sighed. He had been a bit rough on Edward. No matter what front he put forward, he did care about the boy. And that jab he'd thrown did seem to hit a little too close to the mark. No, that can't be it. Honestly, I'd be surprised if he didn't hate me by now. Oh, well, it's not a soldier's lot to know love…
Everyone in the room was staring at him by this point. They all knew that look that he got sometimes, usually after a particularly vicious fight with Edward. After a few moments, they expected, he would sit back down, and start not doing his work. A few minutes later, they were still waiting. All of a sudden, he turned, and spoke to his second-in-command. "Hawkeye, find Fullmetal. Give him this note, and tell him to dress nicely." He quickly scribbled out a few words on a pad of paper, then tore it off and handed it to the confused-looking woman. She saluted, and walked out. Always so obedient. Sometimes, I almost feel bad for her. I've noticed the way she looks at me. Can't be helped, I suppose. Someone will be learning the lesson about the unfriendliness of the world, and it might just be her. At long last, he collapsed into his chair, and started making a house of cards.
"Um, sir?" began Fuery. "Might I ask.."
"No, you may not. I'm sorry, Fuery, but this is not something you were meant to know."
The bespectacled man slumped a little. No one ever told him anything. He knew what was going on, of course, but he wanted to see if Mustang would actually admit it. Not a chance, he thought. He probably hasn't even admitted it to himself. He shook the gathering funk off, and returned to the paperwork that he was doing. Technically, it was Roy's to do, but leaving it to him would mean it would never get done. Ah, well. I suppose that that is the way of things…
Alright, I promise it won't be so long between updates next time. Also, future updates will be longer. Please to enjoy this offering, and review if you see fit. Until we meet again!