Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo belongs to Yoshio Sawai, Weekly and Viz's Shonen Jump and Toei Animation. Don't know the US company involved with the anime, but I'm using their dub names. Any non-dub names used are of characters not yet introduced. I have no ownership of this, but I sure want merchandise. Sell it to me please! And more manga, please! Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo rocks! All songs mentioned don't belong to me, either. Feed my c2 list and forum!

"Let's add more characters and wallow in more angst and hopefully some plot development will happen. If not, try the next chapter."

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Serviceman looked over the peaceful ocean, a setting in direct contrast with his epic inner torment within.

No one loved him.

Why? Was it because he walked around under a sheet and attacked people with his private parts?

Serviceman mulled it over. Could that be the reason no one loved him?

You don't really expect him to figure that out, do you?

Oh yeah, and deep down he loved Gasser. How that hurt, hurt so bad! Not only did Gasser have a girlfriend, but he hated Serviceman. Why?

He's not going to figure it out, and should this drawn-out story ever get a sequel he'll show up again and angst about it for you all over again.

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Captain Battleship was Torn.

Was he secretly in love with his school rival, Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo, their rivalry a bold attempt by one or both of them to cover up Feelings?

Was he unable to move on from his lost Flower Man? Their friendship had been so pure, ever since that summer they met. Jobs for expelled marital artists were hard to come by, but that summer they shared on Brokeback Mountain herding sheep… It had healed Battleship's heart until the day Flower Man was murdered.

But then, there was also Don Patch. He'd proposed, partially to make Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo jealous and also because the guy was feisty in a way Battleship couldn't believe. Tentacles never felt so good and they had kids. So did that make Don Patch his common law spouse? Certainly he was either the mother or father of their children. It'd all happened so fast that Battleship missed that particular little detail. The pairing for slashers with family values!

Of course, there was also Ryu from Shaman King. Their paths had crossed in Jump Superstars and they had the same hair and…. Well, Battleship was angsting on that so that all possibilities would be presented.

Did I miss any?

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When Softon first met Jelly Jiggler in the supermarket, he lingered inside the store a moment longer. Immediately smitten, he got in line after Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo and bought breath mints. Sugar-free ones no less. At some point, he could work up the nerve to offer Jelly one and things would go from there. The two of them enjoying a sugar-free mint together, one that wouldn't increase their sugar intake and potentially cause diabetes in their later years.

But seeing Jelly outside, his topaz features framed by soft fake pink hair… Softon quickly lost his nerve. The color complemented Jelly so perfectly, whether as a wig or a dress. Softon couldn't take his eyes on him, but no one seemed to notice for some reason.

Well, no one but that torpedo girl, Gyorai. And you can go to the Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo Yaoi forum here and get the link so you can see this moment. She was furious about how completely he ignored her as those bakas danced around, his eyes only fixated on Jelly. She absolutely hated those freaks, but none more so than her oblivious rival.

I really shouldn't do this, writing a character I haven't seen outside OPs and EDs, but the story is going there. Softon ran into Gyorai. She called out to Softon, batting her eyelashes. Softon looked worried. "Is everything all right," she asked in hopes that she could get rid of his concern and they could get busy!

"Have you seen Jelly?" Softon asked. Gyorai gritted her teeth, "No, I haven't seen your little boyfriend."

"He's not…" Softon growled.

"So why are you wasting your time with him?" Gyorai hissed.

"This isn't the time. Jelly went off a couple nights ago and we haven't seen him since."

Gyorai looked thoughtful, "All I've heard lately about the Chrome Dome Empire was that they're setting up for the tsar's wedding."

Softon looked sick, "No. It couldn't be…."

Gyorai got on the back of his motorcycle, "We'll look into this before we start worrying."

Softon smiled nervously as her as he revved up the engine, "Thanks." I suppose he was sorry he couldn't return her Feelings but she's a female character in a yaoi fic and will just have to deal.

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Don Patch's thoughts about his True Feelings continued, as the group stopped at an amusement park.

Was teasing Jelly, beginning with handing him panties and the subsequent fight, evidence of his secret Feelings for his rival?

Or was it Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo for him, now and forever?

Or was that dodgy tentacle octopus affair with Captain Battleship, with tickling, a marriage proposal and them having kids of any consequence?

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But this story is still about Jelly Jiggler, in case you've forgotten. There were times I almost did.

His eyes fluttered open, and he caught sight of Tsar Baldy Bald IV at the foot of his bed.

Silence.

Jelly and the tsar looked at each other for a long moment, before Jelly spoke up.

"You're going to send me back to the grocery store, aren't you?" Jelly asked sadly.

"Is that the last thing you remember- losing to Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo?" Baldy Bald asked in a guarded tone.

Jelly nodded and looked away.

"That was the biggest mistake of my life," Baldy Bald murmured. "Those rebels wasted no time in revising your memories and turned you against me."

Jelly looked at him in shock, "I-I don't know what to say."

The tsar stood up and walked to the front of the bed. He gently took Jelly's hands into his own, "There is no need to apologize. I made their job turning you far too easy. I was not faithful as I should have been, and I left them plenty opportunity to take you away. But I would have never in a million years sent you back to the grocery store."

Jelly's eyes teared up, "I'm still a general, then? Even after I lost?"

Baldy Bald chuckled, "Actually, I was hoping you'd take a different post for the Empire now that you've returned to us… to me..." He then kneeled next to Jelly's bed, never letting go of those soft gelatin hands. "Jellyroll, what I'm trying to get at is… will you serve the Chrome Dome Empire as its queen?"

Jelly stared in shock, his eyes wet.

TBC

The plot did advance! Wooo!