Alex tossed her napkin in the garbage, and slid her plate into the dishwater, still laughing.
"Alright, guys, I'm going to go brush my teeth, and then I'm going to bed…it's almost one in the morning, and I'm tired again…" Buffy, Dawn, Willow, and Spike, still smiling, waved, and watched her head down the hall to the bathroom, leaving the door open as she rifled thru the cabinet for toothpaste.
She bent over the sink, and spit the toothpaste into the running water, watching it spin down into the drain. She let some water fall into her hand like it was a cup, and sucked it into her mouth, rinsing the rest of the paste from her gums, teeth, and tongue. After spitting it out and wiping her lip, she flipped off the water, and stood up. The door was still standing open, only now Willow stood there, her hands buried in her pockets. Alex jumped, and turned around.
"Willow, you surprised me," she said, a hand over her heart.
"Sorry…I just wanted to see if you were alright. You've seemed really tired lately…" Alex smiled.
"I'm fine. I just haven't been sleeping too well the past few nights…I keep seeing things from my past, from before I ran off…" Willow nodded.
"Well…You know who to come to if you need a sort of cure or something," she smiled, pushing off the doorframe.
"Yep. Thanks, Wil," she replied, nodding her head. Giving her a quick hug, Alex slid down the hall and closed her door behind her as she walked into her room. Sighing, she dropped down onto her bed, head in her hands. Shaking her head, she tugged her shirt over her head, and let it fall to the floor. It was a warm night, and she didn't feel like changing, or opening her window.
"You aren't fine, are you, Alex?" She leapt off her bed, spinning towards her door. Spike was smiling at her from his place leaning against the back of the door.
"What the…Damnit, Spike, I hate it when you do that."
"Do what?"
"Sneak up on me, I didn't even know you were there…" He chuckled, but shrugged.
"You aren't fine, are you?" he repeated. She sighed.
"Yes, I am. Just tired. These dreams won't leave me alone…This past won't leave me alone…"
"That's why you left, isn't it? Because of your past…and your mother…Emilia…" Alex leapt off the bed and slammed her hand against his throat, knocking him into the door.
"Don't you ever say her name. You aren't allowed to say her name, nobody is!" she cried, her face slowly turning red. Spike pushed his hands against her hand, but she didn't let go. "Do you understand me?" she cried. He tried to nod, but it didn't work, so he pushed out a "Yes" for her to hear. Letting out an angry sigh, Alex let him go, watching him fall to the floor.
"Good…" she muttered, and turned away from him, running her hands over her face.
"What is your problem with talking about your mother?" he asked.
"I…It's a long story, Spike, and I don't feel like talking about it, okay?" He shrugged, and carefully climbed up on the bed as she sat down on the edge of it. There was a knock at the door, and Dawn's voice came thru.
"Alex? Are you alright?"
"I'm fine, Dawny…Just freaked myself out…"
"Okay…We're still in the living room if you need us," she called, and headed off.
"Thanks," she muttered. Spike slid behind her, and placed his hands on her shoulders, giving them a squeeze. She groaned, but closed her eyes, letting him sit there.
"Alex, you aren't fine, why won't you just tell us what is wrong?"
"Because it isn't your problem, and you guys don't need to be involved if something happens…" she replied, turning her head to see him.
"What would happen?"
"Just leave me alone, Spike…I just want to be alone right now…" He bowed his head, kissing her shoulder, and slipped out of her room. She let one of her hands fall to that same shoulder, and faintly smiled as she dropped back onto her bed.
Alex sat out on the front porch the next morning, knees pulled together, elbows resting upon her knees, holding a cup of tea in her hands. She slightly moved her head when the door behind her opened, and Willow walked out, sitting beside her.
"What're you looking at?" she asked.
"Just…everything. Anything. And…nothing. Not really sure what I'm looking at…"
"You get a better night's sleep?"
"I hope so…Hey…Willow? Can I ask you a strictly hypothetical magic question?"
"Sure," she replied, nodding. "What?"
"Say I have a friend who feels nothing but remorse for something he knew he had to do, and wants to try and make things right again, what should he do?" Willow knitted her eyebrows together.
"Oh…you mean, like, what kind of a spell?"
"Yeah…" Willow paused, unsure, for a second.
"Well, I'm not sure. There's all kinds of spells that your friend could do…There's a forgiveness spell…and an apologetic spell…Then there's the redemption one, but that's very powerful, and could prove fatal to your friend…"
"What's it consist of?"
"Saying a chant, lighting a candle, and…being in the place where your friend was when he did what he did to feel the remorse he now feels…" she answered, and stopped, rolling her eyes upwards to make sure that was right. Nodding, she looked over at Alex.
"Oh…Do you have the spell, or…"
"I think I do…C'mon, let's see…" They stood up, and headed back inside, Willow leading her back into her bedroom. Willow kneeled down beside a cabinet, and pulled open the doors, flipping through all her books. "Oh, here we go," she stated, opening one up. Alex leaned down, and looked at the spell, but Willow held the book out to her. Alex moved her lips, mouthing the spell without sound, and closed her eyes, memorizing it.
"Thanks, Willow…" Willow nodded, and put the book away. Alex turned, and slipped out of the room, before Willow stood back up.
"So, Alex, what…" she began, and turned, seeing that Alex had left.
She walked into the kitchen, and splashed some water onto her face, taking in a sharp breath, and looking up at the wall.
"What's up, Spike?" she asked. He stopped mid-step, and looked at her back.
"How'd you know I was here?"
"I just knew…" she said, running her hands over her face and letting the water drip down her neck. "So, what's up? You coming in here to lecture me more, or are you really just going to rummage thru Buffy's kitchen for food?"
"Uh…I was actually going to see what she had to drink," he replied, opening the fridge. Alex paused, a hurt look on her face that Spike couldn't see, and nodded.
"Oh, alright…Well…I'm going to go for a walk, okay? Anyone asks, I'll be back later," she said, dried off her neck and face and hands with a towel on the counter, and walked out the door. Spike turned, and watched her pull the door shut after her.
She had her hands jammed into her pockets, and walked for nearly an hour before pausing to see where she was. Her eyes widened, and she found herself in the cemetery. After a slight hesitation, she continued inside the cemetery, keeping an eye out for any creature that would pop out of the ground at her. She came to a stop at her great-grandmother's gravestone, and smiled faintly.
"Hi, Grandma Balice…I know I haven't come by to see you in a long time, but I moved…and I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I love you…And I hope you and mom and Grandma Nexi are taking care of each other…" She patted the top of the stone, and continued to wander. She had only walked a couple minutes before catching her foot in a root, and falling forward. Groaning, she pushed herself onto her knees, and dusted off her arms.
"Argh!" She spun around, and the creature slammed into her, knocking her backwards. She cried out, falling back, but slammed her feet into its stomach, knocking it over her head and into another stone. It shoved itself up, and spun to look at her. She was on her feet, ready for him, now.
"You want me, come and get me, chicken shit. Don't just stand there and look at me funny…" The vampire paused, and took a step towards her.
"Alex? Alex Hardt?" She stepped back, not letting her defenses down.
"How'd you…Who are you?"
"It's me! Daniel! Daniel Arverstone! We were in the same math class, senior year!" She stared at him, a little unsure, and faintly smiled.
"Oh, god…Daniel, what happened to you?"
"Yeah, you know, I'm not sure. I was actually in college, and I think it had been a late night, you know? Getting dark, walking back to my apartment…I guess I got…uh…transformed into a vampire…"
"Sired. It's, uh, called Siring…"
"Right, that. I suppose that happened on my way home…Like, three weeks ago…" Alex shook her head.
"You know, even though I really enjoyed having you around in high school, it can't happen now. Your evil…"
"Oh, yeah, I know…But I'm not going without a fight…"
"You never have." She jumped up, kicking him in the face, and knocking him backwards. He spun around, grabbing her foot, and knocked her to the ground. She grunted, but as he jumped on top of her, she slammed her fist into his face, knocking him over. She dug into her pocket, removing a stake, and, spinning it in her fingers, slammed it downwards. It pierced his chest, and he poofed into dust. She sighed, slipping the stake back into her pocket, and stood up. "Sorry, Daniel…I had no choice…" she said softly, and turned away. Cracking her knuckles, Alex headed out of the cemetery, but not before noticing the tomb, about ten feet behind her. The tomb from her dreams. Shaking her head, she continued, quickly, out of the cemetery, and back towards Buffy's.
Alex strode casually down the sidewalk towards the house, and looked up as Spike walked up to her.
"Hi…Were you, like, waiting for me or something?" she asked.
"Sort of…Buffy wanted to ask you something, and told me to come try to find you…"
"Well, I'm here, no need to find me…" she said, and slipped past him up the sidewalk. Spike stopped her, and she turned to look at him. "What?"
"Where did you go?" She pushed her hair back off her face, and shrugged.
"Around…If your still worried that I'm not okay, I'm perfectly fine." He bowed his head, kissing her quickly, and pushed her towards the door. Alex bit her lip, faintly smiling, and walked into the house and into the living room. "Hey, Buffy…What's up?" Buffy looked up from her book, and set it on the coffee table.
"Come on in, sit down." Alex nodded, and sat, her legs pulled underneath her.
"So, what's up? Spike said you wanted to ask me something?"
"Yeah…I did…Are you feeling okay? I don't think I've seen you more than, maybe, an hour or so, the whole time you've been here…And you seem to get tired easier, and Willow mentioned something about you not even offering to do circle work with her, like you used to…"Alex shrugged.
"I'm fine…I've relaxed quite a bit since I moved, and I suppose I just haven't moved back into my Sunnydale system yet. Then I suppose I just don't sleep right, or I sleep too much, or too little, and that's why I'm tired…and as with the circle work, I haven't even thought of it…Thanks though, I'll ask her if we can do some later…" Buffy nodded, and patted Alex's shoulder.
"If something's wrong, you'll tell us, won't you?"
"Of course I will, Buffy…You guys are my friends…Listen, I'm going to take a shower, and go unpack my things…"
"You haven't done that?"
"Nope… well…I mean…a few things, I have, but not everything…" Buffy smiled, and nodded.
"Alright…Thanks for talking to me."
"Any time, Buffy…" Alex stood up as Spike closed the front door, and she walked passed him, to the bathroom.
She tugged her jeans on, humming to herself, and ran a brush thru her still wet hair before pulling her shirt on. She popped open a stick of deodorant, and put some on, looking at her reflection in the mirror. Setting the stick inside the medicine cabinet, she picked up her shoes and socks, holding them in one hand, and lifted a towel off the curtain rod, rubbing it against her hair. After jamming her hairbrush into her pocket and shutting off the light, Alex pulled open the door and headed to her room, rubbing the towel on her head. She let it hang about her shoulders as she shook her head, and opened her door.
Humming to herself again, she crossed over to her closet, and set her shoes inside. She let the towel fall to the small pile of dirty clothes in the corner, and turned to grab her suitcase. She paused, eyes wide as they rested on the nightstand. She dropped to her knees, rifling thru her drawers, under her bed, in the closet, and tossing her pillow and blanket to the floor.
"No! Where'd it go!" she exclaimed, dropping to her knees to look beneath the bed again. Her door opened, and Buffy looked in at her.
"Alex? You okay?"
"No, I'm not okay, somebody took it!"
"Took what?" she asked, looking around her room. Alex sat up on her knees, looking at Buffy.
"The only picture I have of my mother!"