Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo belongs to Yoshio Sawai, Weekly and Viz's Shonen Jump and Toei Animation. Don't know the US company involved with the anime, but I'm using their dub names. Any non-dub names used are of characters not yet introduced. I have no ownership of this, but I sure want merchandise. Sell it to me please! And more manga, please! Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo rocks! All anime mentioned don't belong to me, either. Feed my c2 list and forum!
"Far from the last chapter, but I must take the next 2 weeks off."
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Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo got lost in thought as the rescue party made another pointless detour. The truth was, he'd fallen for Don Patch the day they met. From wilting flower to sugar-crazed equal to total diva, Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo loved every variation and took particular pleasure in couple role-playing with Don Patch. But did he understand? Sometimes Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo did wonder, like the time in manga volume 9 (yeah, the unnumbered one released in the US) where Jelly Jiggler took on the role of a guy proposing to Don Patch. Perhaps jealousy was a factor in this lame rescue attempt that was confusing the sane kids and really getting to Softon who was glaring as he handed out ice cream cones and change.
"I really think we shouldn't stop again," Beauty said quietly- ever the voice of reason and empathy.
"But today's Tuesday," Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo whined.
"That's right!" Don Patch added.
"Guys, we can't just take our time. The Empire's rough enough on Rebels they capture... can you imagine what they must do to former generals that defected?" Gasser shouted.
"You would know, wouldn't you? The pain, the torture, the nights shivering in the rain just to whine about it weeks later…" a voice in the corner hissed.
Gasser sighed, "I recognize your voice, so stop with this act… Loincloth Lloyd."
"Look at you. Going around following some girl instead of getting help while I got so bitter that I joined our enemies," Lloyd hissed, not sounding the least bit like a pathetic twit.
"I did get help! I just found a girl in the process! And some friend you turned out to be!" Gasser shot back.
"So is she such a better friend? She sure doesn't look like someone you can practice your battle skills with! No muscle definition whatsoever!"
Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo and Don Patch sat, entranced and picking their noses with their now-empty cones.
Gasser looked over at Beauty. "Is that what you think? Beauty's different. I mean, she's here to protect and have fun with and…"
Loincloth Lloyd narrowed his eyes, "And I'm not? Why? It's not fair!"
Beauty walked over and whispered something in Gasser's ear. Gasser grinned, "There's something else we do." And with that, Gasser took Beauty in his arms and kissed her in an epic movie-kind of way.
Don Patch looked at Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo and wondered if there was a correlation between Beauty first meeting Gasser in the same episode where he'd met Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo. Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo looked at Don Patch Meaningfully.
Lloyd's eyes were popping out as Gasser continued kissing Beauty and Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo went off on a romantic weekend with Don Patch so I didn't have to go on and on. "Dude, I just wanted to be Friends. Not that. I like girls."
"Too late," Serviceman announced as he popped out of the bin of lemon ice cream. "We're a perfect match! You like Gasser, I like Gasser. We can go on dates and talk about our hopeless Feelings for him, followed by nights of pleasure where we both hopelessly try to pretend the other is Gasser and break down." Serviceman dragged the protesting Battleship 5 quartet of 6 member out of the ice cream shop by his loincloth.
That left Softon, Gasser and Beauty alone in the ice cream shop.
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Meanwhile, Jelly Jiggler had finally agreed to marry Tsar Baldy Bald IV because he didn't remember anything past his defeat. I had spent an afternoon trying to explain to him why Baldy's removal of his memories was not an act of love or protection but domination, a total unwillingness to let Jelly make an informed decision in marrying into the Imperial family.
So, anyway, I headed out of the royal residence that resembled a tiny flat in Tokyo. General Tofu was debating suicide or murder as he continued with the wedding invitations, an assignment given long before Jelly agreed to the wedding. It's my impression the catering was all ordered before they even captured Jelly! Anyway, Tofu was not sure whether to kill himself over Baldy Bald or Jelly, or which one he should kill. Should he kill Baldy for taking Jelly away or so one could take him from Tofu? Or should he kill Jelly for one of those reasons? He did figure that if he picked someone to kill so they wouldn't marry the other, that he should kill himself afterwards. Or was it before? Moron. At that point, I headed out to update Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo and the others.
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Even though Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo is set in the future, and one with much in common with modern Japan, I found them staring at cat mummies in Turin's Egyptian museum the day I was there. So I let them in on the story so far while Hatenkou sat and braided Captain Battleship's hair into pigtails for no reason. I guess that makes them a couple?
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Jelly Jiggler was just about to say his part of the vows, when the Rebels crashed the wedding.
Softon was taken by the sight of Jelly in his white Western-style banana-skin wedding dress, even though he thought pink was the best color for his soft topaz skin.
"The Jellyroll I know wouldn't be put up to this, even if he didn't remember," Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo said.
Jelly turned to face him, anger flashing in his eyes. "Haven't you had enough? I'm lucky Baldy still wanted me after my defeat, after you… you…"
"Don't you remember anything? How you wanted to help people, become a plumber when you grew up… Not become some royal consort languishing in a musty palace and put on display. You're our Nakama. We won't give you up without a fight!" Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo replied.
Jelly looked down, his shoulders trembling. "You… you did buy me from the store…" Um, yeah. Jelly's memory had returned! Yay! It's the magic of the Shonen Word That Sounds Best Untranslated.
But Tsar Baldy Bald was not to be outdone. He pulled a tabloid out and handed it to Jelly.
"BoBoBoPatch: Just a combined battle form or something more?" Jelly read, his voice shaky.
"See what good friends they are, pairing off when I know you like one of them and going off by themselves for a romantic weekend while you were missing?"
Jelly turned away from the Rebels and grinned smugly at Baldy. "You don't get it! I'm happy my friends have paired up, even if I did like Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo. I'm not going to mope about it, not when there are others that care about me that way." He looked right at Softon. Somehow he'd always known in a way.
At that moment, General Tofu felt the beginning of Feelings for the other man who loved Jelly as he did. That brought him to 3 unrequited yaoi targets.
Tsar Baldy Bald IV was furious, watching his intended run towards another. He motioned his guards and they grabbed Softon just as Jelly took his hand.
Jelly looked around frantically, but the others had turned into takoyaki in order to increase the drama.
Baldy smiled evilly, "The choice is yours. If you don't marry me, I will have him killed."
Tears welled up in Jelly's eyes as he turned from Softon and walked back towards Baldy Bald.
"Jelly, don't!" Softon screamed. Jelly looked back and gave him a strained attempt at a reassuring smile. Softon looked down and saw the Nu handkerchief in his palm. Then, he felt a sharp blow on the back of his head and all went black.
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Softon woke up hours later, finding himself surround by Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo and the others. And he was not happy. "He's gone because of you," he hissed.
"Who's gone?" Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo asked.
Beauty and Gasser wasted no time and tiptoed out.
"Our friend Jelly Jiggler," Softon shrieked.
"But aren't you the reason he gave himself up? If you had been stronger, he wouldn't have had to marry Baldy Bald," Don Patch countered in a sly tone.
Silence.
Softon's eyes began to twitch, his shoulders began to shake… Was he finally going to let them have it?
Of course not.
Softon ran out absolutely bawling, bumping right past Beauty and Gasser.
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Jelly stood outside the apartment, lost in a monologue angsting over whether or not his mother-in-law would approve of him. Which does not make a whole lot of sense, her not having been at the wedding in the first place but the domestic drama coming up seemed to work better if they met after the wedding. Plus, the first episode implies that Baldy Bald's imperial life is something he does in his spare time- much like the Digimon Emperor. The truth is, Baldy's mom wanted nothing more for her son than for him to be a salaryman, corporate Japan's shining beacon of white-collar drudgery.
TBC…
Sorry this one took so long, but things are getting real busy. I'm starting to shoot a stop-motion anime OP-style this week, so this story will be on hold until the 22nd. But I've gotten a hold of the first 3 episodes (TiVo is on a different input than my vcr, so I can't normally keep shows) and the notes taken so far were a great help. I know have a better sense of how this story will eventually end. Still missing a smoking gun on Softon- psychically communicating with Beauty isn't enough evidence of Feelings in my book, but I'm planning a crossover cameo that'll delve into "why is character x in the midst of slash angst when he's got it bad for girl y in canon?" I'll give you one hint. It's another character done by the guy who voices Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo in Japan. Is it Hotohori? Billy from Melrose Place? Renee/Aramis' fiancé? Could it be Pandora/Arkana from YGO? Someone else? Hehehe. Wait and see. Seriously, the guy who does Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo's voice in Japan does a crazy amount of stuff.