Chapter Seven: Mornings

Heidi awoke to the god awful noise of her alarm clock and slapped at her night stand succeeding in only knocking it upon the floor. Cursing under her breath she slid from her bed and threw it across the room. It hit the wall with a thunk, breaking apart, pieces clattering to the floor, leaving a dent in the wall. Well at least the noise had ceased.

She rubbed her sleepy face, yawned, and brushed her hair out of her face, smoothing it down. She had to go to work…shower…coffee…coffee…coffee? She could smell it. That was odd. Why could she smell it when she'd not made it? "Pfft, who cares?" She muttered dragging herself to her feet.

Slowly she stretched and padded to her door not realizing that it was closed and walked right into it. "Oww," she whined rubbing her forehead. She didn't remember closing her door. Shrugging she opened it and stepped into the hall way.

In fact Heidi walked right into her kitchen and straight for the brewing coffee not seeming to notice there were people in her living room. She yawned opening a cabinet and taking out a cup.

"Good morning Major," Alphones said cheerfully.

"Morning Al," She returned tapping her fingernails upon the counter top. After a moment she frowned and her fingers slowed to a stop. "Al,"

"Yes?" the armor asked.

"What are you doing here?"

"Uh well," He rubbed the back of his helm. "Colonel Mustang and Major Hughes-"

"Al what's for breakfast?" Ed yawned as he came into the kitchen.

Heidi's eyes grew wide as the blonde haired boy smiled sleepily at her. "Edward?"

"Huh?"

"What the hell is going on?"

"Ask the Colonel," He replied plopping down at her kitchen table.

Memories of yesterday flooded Heidi's mind. A dread seeping with poison into her veins spread through her body. That's right yesterday she'd been discovered and today…She had to face him again, see what he'd do to her…Wait a minute…. had she really slept through dinner and all night as well? For that matter who and how had they moved her from the sofa to her bedroom? "I think I will," She replied reaching for her phone which rested neatly upon the counter.

"He's in the living room Major," Alphones said softly.

Heidi's eyes narrowed. "Why?"

Al jumped back holing his hands up in defense. "Like I was saying he and Major Hughes came over last night, you were asleep!"

Never in a million years did Heidi think that Alphones could squeak. If it had not been morning it might have been amusing but it was morning and mornings were not her friend. Also it was this morning, the day after such a stressful day. She felt a little worn for wear even now, like her nervous system was trying to recuperate from a nearly fatal shock. In fact she felt more exhausted now than she had in a long time.

"Who…who is here besides you, Ed, and Colonel Mustang?" She asked quietly.

"Just you." Ed replied. "Major Hughes left last night with the Colonel but Mustang came back. He said he wasn't planning on staying but he figured he needed to be here, said this mess was his fault."

Heidi cast her eyes to the floor in shame, her body followed as she sank down slowly. "But it's not his fault…Damn it!" She shook her head. "I should have refused the transfer."

"Why I thought you liked it here." Al said quietly.

"I do Alphones, I really do like East City, but…Look at the mess I have made." She let her eyes meet those of the boys. "This is some pay back, he lost Hawkeye, and his unit is destroyed."

"You still think people aren't going to trust you?" Ed asked. "Havoc said-"

"Oh come on Edward you read the records. No one is going to be comfortable around the sister of a traitor." She sighed. "I have lied about so much. Any normal person wouldn't-"

"It's a good thing none of us are normal then huh?" Roy's voice sounded from the entryway of the kitchen.

Heidi turned to him. Her Colonel stood in a wrinkled uniform, hair mussed, sleepy, and deeply agitated. In fact he looked down right furious. "I-"

"I am going to blame this lapse in sanity on the fact that you haven't had a cup of coffee this morning." He interrupted coming to stand over her. Slowly he offered his hand. "You didn't destroy anything or anyone. If anyone did any damage it was me. My curious nature got the better of me…can you forgive me?"

Heidi's eyes widened in disbelief. What was he saying? How could he be like this? Why was he doing this? Was he going to enact revenge later for her lies? "Who are you?" she breathed.

Roy smirked reaching for her arms. Carefully he pulled her to her feet. "I am Roy and you are Heidi, I believe we've had introductions before." His fingertips came to her cheek. "We would have had to since you're my girlfriend."

Heidi pushed him away and left her kitchen. "I can't."

Roy closed his eyes with a sigh. "Edward, Alphones, go ahead and make breakfast please."

"Uh sure," Ed replied getting up. This had to be the first time the Colonel ever just asked him to do something that wasn't mission related. Considering that it was for Heidi too and they were trying to keep her here he'd do it with no complaints.

Heidi rifled though her closet not sure what she was looking for or what she was doing, then went to her bed. There resting beside her pillow, poking out from under her blanket was the photograph of her and Zolf. As she climbed upon the matrices she heard Roy's footsteps halt at her bedroom door. He didn't come in just stood there. "I don't understand you Roy. I lied and-"

"We've been over this Heidi."

"Yesterday you called me Liezel."

Roy smiled sadly. "Which do you prefer?"

Heidi slipped off the bed looking at the photo. Slowly she went to him and held it up. "Is this who you saw in Ishbal?"

Roy glanced at the photo. "Yes,"

Heidi nodded. "I can't be her but I don't know who I am because Heidi is the aftermath. And I can't stick around here for you or anyone else to call me Liezel, make me be who I used to be." She spoke as calmly as she could. "And I can't live with people second guessing me. I've worked too damned hard and put up with too much shit for it all to be wasted."

Roy took the photo from her slender hand, eyes narrowing. Damn it, she was on the defensive. He was hoping a good nights sleep would put her in a better mood, calm her down. This was going to be difficult but he had to make her see what she didn't want too to make her realize what she was doing. He wanted her to see that she wasn't alone. "I think you know exactly who you are but don't want to face the truth; the truth that you're a good person who had the unfortunate luck of having a brother who tortured, maimed, and almost killed you. You're afraid that because of him you'll never be free, always living in his shadow. And you're scared of letting anyone in after being alone with the pain for so long."

She scoffed. "Good people don't lie."

"Good people lie all the time so stop being an idiot. You've got too much to lose here and nothing to return to if you let him keep torturing you. Why are you punishing yourself for something you didn't do, for something out of your control?" He snapped.

Heidi glared. "Because he was my brother-"

"And he was responsible for every action he took, every decision he made, not you. You can't control him any more than I can control Edward or you. You tried your best but you didn't fail entirely."

Heidi shook her head gritting her teeth. She was furious, ready to just pound his face into the wall. "Shut up you don't know what you are talking about."

Roy caught hold of her wrists. "Yes I do because I was the one who apprehended him. He was a sadistic masochist in a war Heidi. I was stationed with him, I was around him everyday, I saw him as he was. He was probably like that all along but you were too blind to see it since you worshiped the ground he walked upon. And be that as it may Zolf loved you." He let go of one of her wrists and showed her the photo. "No one can say other wise not with the proof written on his face, not in the memory I have of him giving you the orchid."

Heidi yanked free of his grasp only to be pulled against him. "Let me go,"

"No," Roy replied as she began to struggle. Damn she was difficult to hold on too, in more ways than one. "Listen to me,"

"Let me go Roy I mean it." She warned. Why was he doing this, why? Why couldn't he just leave her alone?

"You didn't fail Heidi; it was because of you that he gave up." Roy said calmly. She stilled instantly. "He just gave up; he asked if he killed his little doll. He was sad, the first time I'd ever seen him so. I didn't know what that meant, didn't remember it until last night as I lay awake upon your sofa. Now on the train home he returned to being like I knew him."

"Why are you telling me this?" Heidi half whispered.

"Because you need to hear it. You can't change it and you can't hide behind it or these scars. Just like I can't hide behind what I did there. Instead use it to make things better, to make sure it doesn't happen again." He paused. "And I will not lose another person I care about to something disgusting and stupid." He rested his chin upon her marred shoulder gently. "You're not him; I couldn't love you if you were. So please please don't leave."

Heidi felt her world burst and shatter. Someone loved her, wanted her, and could separate her from her bother distinctly even knowing the truth? Only Ivan had been able to do the last part but he didn't love her, not in a romantic fashion just like she didn't love him. Her, after everything, what she looked like, all the lies, all the spinning out of control her life had done. It stung; every word stung and burned imprinting themselves upon her mind. What he said sounded so simple, but it wasn't. "Why?"

She felt him smirk. "I don't know, does it matter?" He kissed her shoulder. "Havoc told me something he heard you say. He said you told Edward you'd do what it took, bend over backwards to for me to trust you, back me up, and have faith in you just to make this team work, stuff that could hurt you no matter what it cost. If you leave that statement is a lie. I don't want to hurt you and I need you to keep true on those words."

"Are you going to use this later, use it against me?" She asked hesitating.

"No,"

Heidi weighed everything carefully, very carefully and somewhere along the way she had begun to cry. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

Roy felt rather than saw the exhaustion within her body. Slowly he eased them over to her bed and sat. He stroked her soft hair gently, soothingly. "Don't be sorry, just tell me what you want to do, what you really want."

"I to live…" She took a shuddering breath. "I want be with you."

"And your job?" he asked. "Do you still want that?" She nodded. Roy smiled. "Well then I suggest you pick yourself up, get that cup of coffee, do what ever it is that you do to get ready for work and come with me to the office." Before she could protest he pressed his lips against hers.

"Edward's making breakfast; I should go and see that he doesn't destroy your kitchen." He whispered when he pulled away.

Heidi reached for him. She wasn't ready for him to leave yet, wasn't ready to face the day head on. "Roy,"

He smiled. "Did anyone ever tell you how utterly beautiful you look first thing in the morning?"

She didn't think it was possible, but somehow Roy Mustang had managed to do it, he made her smile, made her click back into place even if it was the first notch. "Did anyone ever tell you how scruffy you look?"

He frowned and felt his face then his hair. "Damn, guess I should head home for a bit. I'll have Havoc come pick us up. Oh and Maes will be in today before he has to leave this afternoon. I hope you won't hate him for bringing me the information Heidi. He's a good guy."

Heidi wiped her face with her hands. "Like you?"

Roy didn't think he was a good man, not after what he'd done in the past but he nodded none the less because Maes was a good man. "Are you going to be okay if I leave the boys here with you?"

Heidi bit her lip reaching for him again. He came to her, pulling her to her feet. "Thank-" His lips silenced hers passionately. His arms snaked around her pulling her closer. She in turn held on to him as if he left she'd disappear. In that one kiss, in the words spoken to her from yesterday and this morning, Heidi felt relief wash over her, a calming sort. Everyone that mattered knew the truth and thank god no one seemed to care or hold it against her. It was liberating so liberating that she returned Roy's kiss.

Roy broke away smiling. "Well good morning to you too."

Heidi smiled and pulled him back for another kiss.

Edward sighed at the doorway. Roy and Heidi kissing must be a good thing but damn it, couldn't they wait until he and Al weren't in the house? "Well I was going to say breakfast is ready but I can see that you're already having it."

Roy frowned. "Did you hear something Heidi?" He turned around looking around the room. "Huh I could have sworn I heard something."

"Roy it's Edward you know that." Heidi said softly.

Roy's eyes met the steaming teens and he smirked. "Oh there you are Ed,"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT YOU CAN'T SEE HIM WITH OUT A TELESCOPE!"

Heidi had half a notion to hold her ears. She'd never been around Edward in a room that echoed as much as her near bare bedroom did and his volume was terribly loud. That kid could project very well. Still it was amusing.

"I didn't say that Fullmetal. I want you to stay with Heidi until I get back."

"Where you going?" Ed ward asked folding his arms over his chest.

"Home, should take me too long."

Ed sighed. "You could solve this problem by just keeping some clothes over here Colonel."

Heidi nodded. "He's right; you've been sleeping here for the last few of nights."

Roy turned to her. "You sure about that?"

She smiled. "Yes,"

"So you're staying great, I'm starving so let's eat." Ed said stomping from the room.

"Well at least we know what he's interested in first thing in the morning." Heidi breathed.

Roy kissed her forehead. "I'll be back soon, don't disappear on me baby."

"I won't."

Once Roy was gone Heidi asked Edward into the bathroom with her. She explained what she needed done and he agreed after of course asking why she couldn't do it herself. When it was done she let him go finish his breakfast and began to water for her shower.

Heidi closed her eyes as the warm water trickled down her body. If only the water could wash away the past as easily as it washed away soap. Her nerves will still jolted, felt so raw and exposed, but somehow she felt like everything was going to be okay. Perhaps after all this time, all these years of hiding and sacrificing so much of what she used to do in favor of a quieter existence was finally paying off. She was deeply comforted by this thought. It was enough to aid her in digging herself out of the emotional rut she had fallen into.

Heidi turned the hot water up a little more and let her mind wander over everything she used to be that she'd not thought of in so long. When she was, well before the war, she used to be the slightly out there kind of girl. She used to hang out with the guys, go to the bar, spend time outdoors all the time never really sitting still unless it was for alchemy. She was everywhere and Zolf was usually with her being just as strange and outgoing as she was.

Thinking of him and what he'd been like, she thought maybe Roy was right about her brother. Zolf was a little sadistic in the way that he handled some things. If someone messed with her and she didn't like it or he thought it wasn't proper he had often been a little too brutal with words and fists. Maybe some of that wasn't just protection of her. Of course back then she hadn't complained because he gave so much, taught her so much, even how to fight for herself. How could she not worship the ground he walked upon when he was everything to her? He raised her asking for nothing in return.

Then again Roy was right about it all. It kind of annoyed her. He'd only known her a few weeks and yet he had determined all of her problems in such a short amount of time. Damn him, she didn't think she'd be that easy to figure out. Was she really that transparent?

Roy walked into Heidi's kitchen an hour later and stopped dead in his tracks. "What?" She asked lifting her coffee cup.

He smiled as he took a seat beside Alphones. "I told you looked better with brown hair." And she did, it just fit her so much better. Though he was a little disappointed that she'd put it up and braided it. It would be more difficult to play in that coffee colored hair today. But he was relieved to see her dressed and ready to go.

"Yes well, like I said yesterday I don't really like being blonde. It was necessary though. The Fuher said a drastic change would be for the best."

Roy nodded. "Yes but why?"

Heidi shrugged. "I don't know. Mostly everyone I knew was killed in Ishbal or thought I was dead in the first place, but I guess he was just making sure."

"Yeah but don't you think it's a little weird that he'd do that?" Ed asked. "Not to sound rude, but what makes you so different from other people?"

"Well she's an alchemist Edward and using a type of alchemy that no one's ever really used. He research can be applied in a number of ways and useful in a war. Think about it. One of her alchemically enhanced sound waves could take out an area with out loss of life to our side. Or she could rupture the ear drums of the enemy giving a distraction needed for us to gain the upper hand." Roy pat the table top. "Well let's get going or we'll be late."

Walking into the office that morning was like walking into a dream world. Everyone seemed happy to see her; Fury was relieved and immediately began asking questions about the new radios. It was as if yesterday hadn't happened at all. Save for the remarks of her hair everything was normal. It was a little unsettling but she quickly pushed it aside and jumped right back into the easy routine.

Fury smiled when she finished tinkering with one of the radios. They had long since moved into the officer's lounge so they could work with out disturbing everyone else with the noise of the device. "I know it's none of my business but are you and Colonel Mustang okay?"

Heidi nodded setting the radio aside and picking up the next one. All that was left of this work was to make sure they had the right frequency and channel and they could be dispersed to the different units in the area.

Fury sighed in relief. "Oh good…" He smiled. "The Colonel won't let anything bad happen Major. He might pick on us but he always takes care of us. It's kind of like a home away from home."

Heidi smiled and looked at the mousy man beside her. "Mustang can't do anything wrong where your concerned can he?"

"Uh well-"

"No it's a good thing to follow your commanding officer so passionately… The truth is, Fury, this is my home now and walking into the office this morning with everyone treating me like yesterday didn't matter was a blessing. I'm sorry I lied to you."

"You know Breda said it best yesterday after work. We didn't know you before, we only know you now. The person you are now is what matters."

Heidi blinked. "Breda said that?"

"Yeah,"

"Huh, who knew," She grinned. "So now that that's out of the way let's get these things ready to go and ship them out. As much as I love to play with them Central didn't send them here to collect dust."

"Yes Sir,"