I Never Gave Up
Disclaimer: I own nothing except a few characters you don't recognize. The rest belongs to the great genius, J.K. Rowling.
Note: THANK YOU so much to my readers and reviewers, fifteen reviews is the most I've gotten for any chapter for any story I've ever written, ever. It means a lot to me that you got me past the 100 review mark, thank you once again.
Chapter Fourteen
The Miracle of Three Little Words
"Lily? Lily? Talk to me, Lily!"
As the world suddenly became clearer into view, Lily groaned a bit as she waited for a few seconds for her vision to become clearer. Feeling something like a headache coming on, she pressed her hand to her forehead and met the concerned eyes of Remus Lupin, and to her surprise, Sarah Anderson and Sirius Black, who was sporting a gauze on his face.
"What happened to me?" she asked, her voice still a bit hoarse as struggled to sit upright, her hand still on her forehead.
"You fainted," Remus told her, handing her a glass of water, which she gratefully took. "Not surprising, given the week you've just had, and now, with all that happened to James and………."
Lily felt the world spin all over again and she sank deeper into the chair. "James……" she murmured, the words dying on her lips in a mere whisper. The moment she thought his name, her dizziness suddenly left her, and she suddenly stood up with such alertness that her friends were surprised and quite alarmed.
"Sirius, how is he?" she asked him, urgently.
Sirius shook his head, "Not very good, last time I checked. His vital signs are partly stable, and he's still unconscious. Sometimes he acts as if he's waking up, but then his body jerks spasmodically, and he lapses back into being on the brink of……well, his body seems to fight everything the Healers give him, an aftereffect of some spell a Death Eater shot. It all depends on whether he wakes up or not……" His voice trailed off; he couldn't bear to say any more.
"I need to see him," Lily said, her voice strong and any trace of fatigue gone from her features. Sarah, Sirius, and Remus exchanged apprehensive looks.
"Um, Lily," Sarah began, fidgeting with her fingers nervously. "I—I don't think that's such a good idea, you just woke up and………"
"Yeah, you've had a rough few days. Seeing James right now, in a possibly unstable condition, might just make you faint all over again, you're too stressed out," Sirius added, not minding the angry look that was steadily forming on Lily's face.
"Sirius is right, Lily, why don't you get some sleep, and you can go visit James in the morning," Remus suggested in what he hoped for was a helpful tone.
Lily had enough. She took her arm out of Sarah's grasp and snapped, "I need to see him, I have to see him, I demand that we go now!"
"Lily, calm down-----" Sirius tried to say.
"Calm down? CALM DOWN! Sirius, the man who loves me is in the hospital, unconscious and fighting for his life, not knowing that I feel the same way about him that he feels for me, and your asking me to CALM DOWN!" Lily practically exploded in her friends' faces. To their immense surprise, she suddenly slumped back onto her couch and her tears began to flow freely down her cheeks, her heart aching more than she could have possibly imagined, a lump in her throat.
Her friends looked at each other in dismay. "Guys, leave us alone for a few minutes, I need to talk to her," Sirius told them very quietly. Remus and Sarah gave him a questioning glance, but he merely shot them a meaningful glance in response. The two nodded and went to the balcony for awhile.
"Lily," Sirius said gently as he sat down beside the sobbing woman and put a comforting arm around her. "Shh, it's going to be alright, he's going to fine".
"Repeat that to me again once you know for certain," was all Lily said as she buried her head in her hands. She continued sobbing for awhile then turned to Sirius. "Sirius, it's not fair, it's just not fair! I was going to tell him that I loved him and now, I may never get the chance to!"
"Lily, life is never fair, we have to deal with that," Sirius said in the same quiet, comforting tone. "But there's still hope. Don't give up on him, Lily, you didn't before, now isn't the time to start".
"Sirius………"
"You know, I've got something to tell you," he said, giving her a sad smile which Lily didn't like at all. "Me and James, we….were fighting, side by side, it was brutal. Spells, bodies everywhere. He got hit really badly by the last spell, because he was trying to save a little boy that had accidentally got caught in the cross fire," he sighed deeply and continued, "'Tell Lily I love her'. That was the last thing he said to me, right before he lost consciousness. Even in a life or death situation, he was still thinking of you, he was fighting for you, and now……."
"I have to fight for him," Lily said softly, her tears subsiding. "I have to be strong for him, I have to talk to him, Sirius. I know that he may not hear me, but I still have to see him to, just, say whatever I need to, because there might not be another time. Please let me go tonight".
Sirius shook his head. "Lily, I realize that, but you're still feeling a bit weak, and your not exactly fit to go to St. Mungo's in that state and---".
"Sirius, you're his best friend. You know him better than anyone else, you know how much he loves me. And now it's about time for me to tell him that I love him too. Who knows?" For the first time in many hours, she gave a semblance of a smile. "He might wake up".
Sirius looked at Lily searchingly, trying to find any hint of hesitation, of doubt. There was none. And so, with a determined glint in his eye, he stood up and helped her up, saying, "Alright. Let's go".
..------..
The trip going to St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries was more nerve-wracking than Lily or any of them could have ever imagined. They had taken the Knight Bus to town, seeing as there were strict laws as of now not to let anyone Apparate inside the hospital.
Once they had entered the hospital, they rushed into the lobby and the receptionist said in a bored voice, "Welcome to St. Mungo's, how may I help you?"
"We're here to see James Potter, he's one of the injured during the Death Eater attack," Lily said hurriedly, getting impatient.
The receptionist checked something in her files and said, "Mr. Potter is in one of the private rooms. He's on the third floor, east wing, last room down the hall". Lily and the rest nodded her thanks and they went as quickly as they could without running to where the nurse had said they could find James.
Lily, who was first, found Mr. and Mrs. Potter sitting along with Chelsea outside a room, all three looking very exhausted. The moment James's mother saw Lily, the two women rushed over to each other and embraced.
"How is he, Mrs. Potter?" Lily asked, now quite fearful that she would be given a negative answer. To her relief, James's mother managed a wan smile.
"He's stable, thank goodness. But still unconscious, he hasn't shown any signs of waking up in the past hour, and that alone is fatal," Mrs. Potter paused and said, "Wait, what took you lot so long to get here anyway?"
Remus cast a sideways glance at Lily and explained, "Well, upon hearing the news, Lily….she fainted. She just woke up awhile ago, demanding that we allow her to leave her house so she could see James". Mr. and Mrs. Potter gave a low chuckle at her assertiveness. Chelsea, on the other hand, was quietly talking to Sirius.
Lily turned to his parents. "Can I go in and see him? Just for a few minutes, this is important; I need to talk to him".
His parents exchanged looks. "Well dear, it's not that we don't want you to see James, but he is unconscious and he…..well, he can't hear a word that you're going to say. Besides, you need to rest; you look dead on your feet," Mrs. Potter told her.
Lily sighed and said, "With all due respect, Mr. and Mrs. Potter, but I certainly don't give a damn about myself as of the moment. I love your son, and I need to tell him that, now".
After what seemed like an eternity, Mr. Potter finally smiled at her and said, "Well then, by all means, go inside. Maybe your little confession will be just the thing to wake him up". Lily gave a grateful smile to the two parents before she took a deep breath and entered James's room.
The room was quite spacious, and dimly lit. The articles found there were simple, and at the very center lay James on the bed, breathing steadily and looking dead to the world. She went to his bedside and just looked at him for a few moments, faint traces of tears showing in her eyes.
He looked deathly pale, and there was no movement coming from him. He was breathing, but other than that there was no indication that he was alive. There were bruises on his face and arms.
Ignoring the churning feeling in her stomach, she whispered his name. "Hi James……" she said softly, willing herself not to cry. She had to be strong, no matter how hard that felt.
In a much stronger voice she said, gazing at his still form, "You promised me that you and Sirius were going to be alright, that we would talk tomorrow. You broke your promise, James, look at you! Sirius is hurt too, but he's okay. Please don't break your promise further by not waking up".
Just saying the words, hearing herself say those words was enough to make the next things she said come out in a more strangled, emotional voice. Choking back tears, she continued, "You said that you would hear what I would say tomorrow. Well, I need to say it now, even though I know you can't hear me".
She sat down on the chair next to his bed and took his hand, which was still surprisingly warm, in hers. "I'm sorry, James, I'm sorry I acted like a complete coward when you said that you loved me. I'm so sorry for not giving you a chance, for screwing things up between us. It tore me apart, you know, I couldn't look back on what happened without crying".
"Then I got to thinking, why am I so affected? I mean, sure, I ruined our friendship, but why was I feeling so much guilt, and misery? I mean, all I felt for you was friendship, right?" Lily sighed and continued, "Then….something made me realize, all this time, the entire time we were friends, I knew that there was something else between us, something that was more than friendship. But I was too much of a wimp to acknowledge it".
"When we kissed, I wanted more. When you told me you loved me, I was scared of you hurting me, but I was more afraid of me hurting you. I couldn't ignore it any longer, James. I was in love with you, I just didn't have the guts to come out and tell you. And that scared me, more than you could ever know".
In her palm, James hand suddenly twitched lightly, but Lily, too overcome by emotion, felt nothing and simply held on to his hand like it was her lifeline. There were tears rolling down her cheeks now, but she hardly noticed them.
"But then I found the courage to tell you, Sirius and Kelsey helped me to understand that everything was going to be fine. I knew right then that I had to make things right. But, Fate is cruel, and the moment I was about to tell you, the attack came and you went to play hero. It was agonizing for me to see you walk out that door, but I knew that I would be selfish if I held you back".
"James, you told me that night that you never gave up on me. Well now, I am begging you, with all the love that you feel for me, with all the love I feel for you, please, this time, don't give up on yourself. If you won't do it for me, do it for everyone else who loves you, everyone who is outside that door, waiting for you to wake up. Please, James, you can pull through this, I know you can," Lily was sobbing freely now.
"I almost lost you once, I refuse to lose you again. Prove to me that you really love me James," her tone was now fierce, desperation and anger in her tone. "Don't give up on me, don't you dare give up on me, James Potter because I sure as hell won't be giving up on you anytime soon, I love you!"
She buried her head into his sheet, crying freely now, her hand still clutching his. His hand twitched again, but once again, she felt nothing. She stayed like that for a few minutes, before she went into a proper sitting position. She released his hand and stood up, trying to dry her tears. She looked at the man she loved one more time before she leaned in and kissed his forehead.
Lily closed her eyes to stop another wave of tears as she left his bedside. Her heart ached, and it was evident that she had been crying, but she needed to be strong. She had said everything she had wanted to say. She dried her tears as she walked as slowly as she could in going outside. It was not until she was half-way out that Lily heard something that made her feel as if her heart had stopped.
"I—I love you too, Lily," came a strangled, exhausted whisper that, for some reason, could still be heard throughout the room. Hardly daring to believe what she had just heard, she rushed back into James's bedside and a fresh wave of tears came over to her.
There was James, still bruised and in pain, but awake. He groaned slightly as he came to complete consciousness and after all that settled and he was in a normal state, he turned to look at the sobbing Lily.
"Don't cry," he whispered softly, raising her head so that she would look at him. "I'm fine. I'm little bruised and hurting, but fine".
"You jerk," Lily was saying wildly as the tears continued to flow. "You selfish, arrogant jerk! How could you do something so dangerous and make me—us—worry so much!"
James chuckled, but stopped once he found that it hurt his stomach. "It's called work, Lily," he said. "Please don't cry, I hate seeing you cry". Lily gave a sound that was somewhere between a laugh and a sob but she subsided after a few more minutes.
"I'm just….so glad you're alright……." Lily said, looking at him, smiling.
"Much better," James said, seeing her smile.
There was silence. There was still so much to say, but somehow, they could not find the words. They just stared at each other and in that moment, both parties understood what the other had wanted to say.
"I….I better tell your parents that you're alright," Lily told him softly, and somewhat reluctantly, breaking the silence. "But we will talk later, once you get settled, okay? I love you," James nodded and Lily gave him another look before leaving the room to break the joyous news to the rest of the people there.
There was a sound of relieved crying, and a rousing cheer, and James Potter smiled as he thought about what had happened just a few hours ago. Ever since Lily had ran out on him, he thought that his life was worthless, that she wouldn't care anymore what would happen to him.
But now, he was thinking that life was not so bad after all.
..------..
"Did you really hear everything I said to you?" Lily asked James quietly as he held on to her hand. After everyone had came to see him, and the Healers had done a check and pronounced that he was definitely out of danger, except for the bruises, Lily and Sirius had volunteered to stay over and look after him for the night, but right now, Sirius was out and they were alone.
James shook his head. He was sitting up in bed now, and Lily was sitting beside him. "Not everything, though I have a feeling that it was a long speech". At this, Lily laughed and gave him a look. "But you know what, Lily?" he said softly, reaching out to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "All I heard were the words, 'I love you', and frankly….that was all I needed to hear".
"Aww….that's so sweet," Lily cooed, smiling. They sat in silence for awhile, but then James broke it.
"Lily……" he said quietly. "Did you really mean what you said? I mean, about you loving me? Or was it just a ploy to try to get me to wake up?"
She glared at him. "Do you really think that I would make up something like that? Of course I love you, James. If I didn't know before, I know it now".
James smiled softly at her. "I love you too". Suddenly, he said, a grin forming on his face. "You know what? This is just like some of the muggle movies we're watched before. You know, guy gets into a life or death situation, and then the girl admits to him that she's in love with him while he's unconscious, then he miraculously wakes up and every thing is fine and dandy".
"I guess so," Lily said. When she saw him wince when his elbow accidentally connected with the table, she asked, "So, how are you feeling right now?"
"Well, considering that I almost died, then got woken up when you told me that you loved me, pretty darn good," James told her dryly. Lily rolled her eyes as he continued, "You know, just like in the movies, I would have asked you to marry me already, but unfortunately, I don't have a ring". He looked at her apologetically.
Lily stared at him, shocked. So he had entertained the idea of marriage already? Whoa. Yet she knew that if he were ever to ask, properly, she would say yes. But not now, it was just too soon. She laughed slightly and said, "One step at a time, James, one step at a time".
"You're right," James said, a slow grin forming on his face. "Because I just remembered the part that comes before the guy asks the girl to marry him". And with that, he leaned in closer, and Lily, knowing and anticipating what was going to happen next, leaned in and closed her eyes.
Her heart was beating fast and she could feel fireworks as his lips landed on hers, in a sweet kiss that was still full of passion, love, and everything else in between. Once they pulled away from each other, they smiled.
James leaned in to steal another kiss again, but at that instant, the door suddenly opened and Sirius Black burst in the room right in the middle of everything.
"Hey Prongs, hey Lily, just wanted to see how your doing and---- okay, since it seems as if I have the worst timing and you're in the middle of something, don't let me interrupt you. I'll be outside," Sirius said hurriedly. The two laughed, and once they heard a click on the door, they smiled to each other as James finished what he was about to do.
Once they pulled away from each other, James asked her, "Well, would you at least be my girlfriend?"
Lily smiled and said, "Yes, James, I will". He smiled and they began to talk. First about themselves until their conversation topic then turned into nothing serious, just whatever crossed their minds. James was increasingly gaining back his nature of being talkative, and they just had a wonderful time together, knowing that everything was now fixed.
Two hours later, and James was sleeping peacefully on the bed, in a normal state of slumber. Lily went out and found Sirius asleep on the benches. She shook her head and went back inside. And as she observed the love of her life from her seat near the window, she smiled, wondering what future she had now that she and James were together. She looked at him again, and felt her heart flutter in her chest.
"Yes," she thought, still smiling. "Everything is going to be alright after all".
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I promised that this would be sweet; I hoped it lived up to whatever expectations you might have. I quite liked this chapter, although there were some parts I couldn't really understand, but I need your opinion too. Please read and review!
So, one more chapter to go. I'm still wondering what to do for the last chapter, since I'm not totally decided yet. But I promise that it's going to be soon. But until then, peace and much love……..