"Food Fright" Total Drama All-Stars Improved episode 4
(Narration from Chris) "Last time on Total Drama: All-Stars! The 18 remaining contestants participated in an epic that brought out everyone's inner psycho; Except for Jo's, since she got out at the hands of Brick and Owen. So, you'd think she got the boot, but she and Dawn framed Scott for stealing everyone's stuff, and the rural con artist inadvertently let Cameron discover what true love is like. How touching! Anyways, Scott ended up flying away in the end, after Cameron hit him where it hurts, giving the heroes a bit of a numbers advantage! But can the Vultures crush the Hamsters' winning streak? Find out now on Total! Drama! All-Stars!"
After the intro, the episode starts at the losers' cabin, where the Villainous Vultures are waking up and socializing.
"Can you believe that we've already lost twice in a row?" Heather complained.
"Honestly, I can't." Duncan responded.
Gwen then added her take to the conversation. "Well, I can! These last two challenges, we've been getting our butts handed to us on a silver platter!"
"I wasn't talking to you, Princess Pale!" Heather hissed.
"Yeesh, I was just trying to socialize…" Gwen sighed as she returned to making her bed, although she seemed to struggle due to her left hand still hurting a bit.
Alejandro then walked up to Heather and told her, "Heather, may I be the first to let you know how beautiful you are when you're enraged?"
"Seriously? You're still into me after what I did to you last season?" cried Heather.
"Yeah, and you think I'm stubborn…" Justin chimed in.
"Well, I know you were partially responsible for me getting incinerated, but I forgive you! Plus, you did say that you were in love with me…"
"Oh, go get incinerated by another volcano!" Heather snapped as she walked away from the Hispanic womanizer.
"Pfft. Nice move there, Speedy Gonzales." Duncan remarked.
"She has such a way with words…" Alejandro swooned. This was followed by him getting drilled in the face with a pillow, thrown by Heather offscreen. Duncan and Justin rolled their eyes.
(Confessional: Justin)
"I don't know why he'd still want to be with Heather after the end of season 3! He must be really desperate! Or maybe he's really dedicated, I'm not entirely sure."
(Confessional: Heather)
"Okay, let me just make this one thing perfectly clear: I am NOT into Alejandro! But what if he's right? What if I am still into him? Heh heh, yeah, as if!" (Stares awkwardly) "I'm… gonna need some time to think about this..."
(End confessional)
Meanwhile, in the spa hotel, the Heroic Hamsters were all getting up and doing their usual morning routines. Cameron finished eating breakfast with the rest of his teammates before realizing that his new girlfriend, Dawn, was missing.
Owen swallowed a concerningly sizable bite of his pancakes before telling Cameron, "Hey! Great job getting with that forest-y girl yesterday, dude!"
"Huh?" Cameron responded. "Oh, Dawn! Thanks, but I wonder where she is…"
"She's still in her room, although we haven't heard much from her this morning." Zoey explained.
"Oh, I'll go find her and make sure she's okay." Cameron proclaimed.
Cameron then got up from the table and walked through the hotel, searching every room for her to no avail. However, once he got to the last door, he expected the same results until he heard what sounded like sniffling.
"Hmm?" Cameron wondered to himself. "That doesn't seem good…"
Cameron noticed that the door was slightly cracked open, so he carefully slid it open and discovered Dawn was in that room, but she was sitting on her bed while crying into her arms. He slowly stepped foot in the room. "Dawn?"
Dawn looked up and noticed Cameron. "Oh, h-hello, Cameron." she said with tears streaming down her face.
"I've been looking for you! Are you alright?"
Dawn patted her hand on the bed. "Come here, Cameron. I'll explain everything."
Cameron walked over to Dawn's bed and sat down next to her. "What's wrong?" he said.
"So, you remember yesterday, correct?" Dawn asked.
"Of course I do! It was the happiest day of my life!" Cameron proclaimed.
"Mm-hm. And do you remember when Scott was caught with that bag filled with everyone's belongings?"
"Yeah, and I'm kinda glad we caught him before he could-"
Dawn cut Cameron off by saying "Well, he didn't do that."
Cameron was confused. "What? Then who did?"
"The truth is…" Dawn's eyes began to water. "…it… it was me." she squeaked, as she continued sobbing into her arms.
Cameron was a bit befuddled by this. "Really?" He asked. "But why?"
"Well, technically, Jo was the one who gathered everyone's things. I was just the one who put the bag on Scott's bed." Dawn explained, still sniffling.
Cameron was still confused by this all. "Uh huh, but still, why'd you do that?" he asked.
"You see, Jo manipulated me into doing so, explaining how Scott was a major threat with his intelligence and how if he stays, then we'd have a higher chance of being eliminated at his hands, so I decided to play along with it in the hopes that I can use her tricks against her later on. I just didn't know we'd do something like this so early on!"
"Wow, I knew Jo could be quite despicable, but this…" said Cameron.
Dawn continued by explaining, "And now I'm conflicted on how I want to feel about this, since although it was Scott's cowardice that led to my early elimination last season, this sort of vigilantism only looks hypocritical coming from me!"
Cameron curled his hand around Dawn's shoulder and assured her, "Yeah, but he's gone now, so I suppose we'll just have to go along with the game at hand."
"Huh, I thought you'd be a lot angrier at me for this…" Dawn mentioned, using her arm to dry her eyes.
"Well, I'm not saying what you did was right per say, but let's be honest for a moment, Scott did kind of have it coming." Cameron said with a brief chuckle.
"I see. I'm sorry for being so hypocritical by working for Jo." Dawn apologized.
Cameron pulled Dawn in for a hug and told her, "I forgive you, Dawn. It's ok."
"Thank you, Cameron," said Dawn. They broke the hug, and she gave him a kiss on the cheek. She cupped his left hand with both of hers. "I can tell that you have a good aura."
"I do?" Cameron asked.
"Yes, you're a very sincere person."
"Huh… Well, thanks for letting me know! Now, should we join back up with the rest of our team?"
"Yes, we should."
(Confessional: Dawn)
"I'm very relieved that Cameron was able to forgive me! I just hope he doesn't tell anyone else about what I did…"
(Confessional: Cameron)
"I'm glad I was able to comfort Dawn during what seems to be a difficult time for her! Oh, and I'll make sure not to tell anyone about what she did out of respect for her privacy. Let's just hope my ability to keep secrets doesn't fail like with what happened with Mike. If he sees this, sorry buddy!"
(End confessional)
After some time, Chef had arrived at Boney Island to get Mike (who was exiled there the previous day) and take him back to the main island. While on the boat, Mike sat down on the floor and went inside his headspace to speak with his four alternate personalities. They were all at a table playing poker.
Mike then spoke up. "Alright, guys, time to have a little chat." The personalities all stopped their game and turned to Mike, who continued, "So, does everyone remember the game plan?"
"I can't even remember what I had for breakfast!" Chester remarked.
"We didn't have anything, Chester. We've been stranded on that deserted island all night so that I can try and have more control over you guys because SOMEONE got too excited to see a certain, uh, 'hubby' yesterday…" said Mike, with him and his alters glaring at Vito.
"Ey, she was the one who ripped your duds off, man!" Vito pointed out in his own defense. "Besides, she was kinda doin' you a solid, 'cuz your taste in broads ain't all that good!"
"Oy, what are ya talkin' 'bout, ya bogan? I think that Zoey's quite a true blue!" said Manitoba. Vito stared at Manitoba with a confused expression.
"What he means to say," Mike clarified, "Is that he thinks Zoey is really awesome. Which she is."
"Eh, whatever, you can be with the Wendy's girl if ya want. It ain't like I was the original you or somethin'." Vito scoffed.
"Thank you for your cooperation, Vito!" Mike beamed. "Although I still haven't kissed her yet, so that kinda sucks…"
"Eh, don't sweat it, Mikey Boy!" Vito responded.
"I vonder vhen ve'll be getting back to ze island…" Svetlana pondered.
"Soon, I hope..." Mike responded.
And sure enough, Mike eventually returned to the island and became happy upon seeing his teammates, who were already outside waiting for him.
"Mike!" Zoey and Cameron exclaimed, with the former running towards Mike after he stepped off the boat and hugging him.
"Hey, Zoey!" said Mike. "How was the hotel?"
"It was so nice!" Zoey explained, letting go of Mike as they walked towards their teammates. "Cam and Dawn have been getting to know each other a lot more!"
"Oh, yeah!" Mike recalled the previous day, when the former Bubble Boy confessed his feelings to Dawn and the two shared their first kiss. "I'll admit that it happened a bit earlier than I expected, but I'm still really happy for them!"
"Yeah! Plus, it's wonderful that Dawn turned our trio into a quartet!" Zoey mentioned.
"That too!" said Mike.
Mike and Zoey then returned to the rest of their teammates, with Mike saying "Hey, everyone!"
"Hi, Mark!" said Lindsay.
"Welcome back, Michael!"'greeted Dawn.
"Aw, hey, dude!" Owen shouted!
"You look a lot better than I did when I came back the other day." Beth commented.
"Oh, yeah. Well, Manitoba gave us some survival tips while we were there, so that's why I was able to sleep a lot easier!" Mike explained.
"Huh. Cool!" Beth responded.
Chris then told the contestants, "Well, now that Mike and company are back, it's challenge time! Chef didn't have a whole lot of time to cook for team losers this morning, because he was busy making these!"
Two interns brought in two tables, a yellow one for the Hamsters and a red one for the Vultures, both with giant stacks of pancakes on them.
Owen, who was sitting down on the steps outside the spa hotel, sprung right up at the sight of the massive breakfast pastries. "PANCAKES?!" he shouted.
"Woah, take it easy, man, don't do anything you might regret..." Tyler told him, wrapping an arm around his shoulder.
"But… PANCAKES!" cried Owen, while Mike and Zoey had to hold him back from devouring everything.
"Yeah, I can see the pancakes, and they look pretty good, but we gotta hear what Chris has to say before you can eat them. I heard about that incident with the food props..." Tyler explained as he patted Owen's shoulder.
"Aw! But I think eating is actually the challenge this time!" whined Owen.
"Yep! It's time for the seasonal eating challenge!" Chris announced.
"Okay, this is good. I think Orlando can easily get us through this challenge, right?" Lindsay chirped.
"Ah huh huh huh, yeah! You already know I'm gonna bring it!" Owen declared with his arms up, punctuating it with a fart.
"Not so fast, big guy," Chris stopped him, holding his hand out, "there's a catch."
"As long as I get some chow in my belly, I'll be A-OK!" Owen cheered.
"Easy there, Owen, there's more to this than just eating. See, you'll have to run a full course around this marsh just like in season 4. You will each start by eating a pancake, and then you'll run the course afterwards, which will be signified by a bell." Chris pointed to a large bronze bell hanging above the course.
"First team to complete the pancake and cross the course will be deemed our champion for the day! Also, try not to barf, otherwise you'll have to stay on the penalty bench." he said as he pointed to a bench reminiscent of the one from the first merge challenge of season 1.
"Oh, sounds like a piece of cake!" Zoey said, brightly hoping she could handle the difficult task.
"Nah, a piece of pancake!" Owen chimed in as he started drooling.
"Oh, no it ain't!" Chris remarked. "You may not have the crappy glasses anymore, but I can tell you, this obstacle course will make last season look like a playground, mainly 'cause of a special addition. Say hello to… 'The Grape Crusher!'" He gestured towards a giant metal boot that was pointed at the cap. The tip gave off a quick gleam. All of the guys covered themselves in recoil at first sight of the device.
"Funny, that thing looks nothing like Courtney." Duncan said with shade, Gwen was shooting him a death glare.
"Look, I know she treated you poorly, but she tried to change a few days ago!" She snapped.
"Doesn't mean I'm not still upset over things. I've been hit in that spot so many times, it's hard for me to even go to the bathroom!" Duncan flared.
"Oh, I see, you're just not gonna let the women compete now, huh?" Beth said in gest due to the Grape Crusher being more tailored to hurting the men's… special area.
"Guess the girls will just have to form A League of Their Own, know what I'm saying?" Zoey quipped with a hearty chuckle, and elbowing Beth. Everybody went silent, as usual, from this reference. Zoey looked pretty annoyed. "Oh, come on! None of you have ever seen that one? It's a classic!"
Meanwhile, inside of his mind, Mike was forming a game plan with his alters.
"Alright, so I know most of you aren't gonna like this one." Mike told them.
"Mate, do you know how many carbs we can take in from this?" Manitoba interjected.
"Yeah, Anne Maria isn't gonna want my fat behind after this crap!" Vito claimed.
"And I am having a vegan diet, ja!" Svetlana chimed in.
"Y'all are just a bunch of babies, eh! Who cares about some Jersey hooligan or some 'special' diets?" Chester barked, making air quotes with the word "special".
"Back in my day, we got on just fine with whatever was on the table!" He stomped his foot on the floor, making every other personality wince.
"Wow, um, thanks for backing me up, Chester. I would have thought you hated pancakes." Mike commented.
"They ain't the best, too much syrup in my opinion, but we've got a thing to do, and I'm gonna help you out, boy!" Chester assured.
"Okay, so maybe you could summon me after you vill be finishing, ja?" Svetlana asked.
"Yep! That's a plan!" Mike cheered as he raised his hand for the team hand stack, which all his personalities joined.
Meanwhile, back outside of Mike's subconscious, the villains' team was also planning how to get ahead in the challenge.
"Alright then. Boytoy 1 and Boytoy 2, what are we gonna do?" Duncan asked, raising an eyebrow at Justin and Alejandro.
Alejandro glared at him. "Alright, first, don't ever call me that again, muchacho, or I will make sure this game won't be any easier for you, and second, I say we send someone in good shape so we shall dominate the obstacle course segment."
"Uh, why not yourself?" asked Gwen.
"Actually, I was thinking Justin should start since, you know, he's so slothful!" Alejandro answered, pointing at Justin.
"What? But this stuff can mess up my absolute flawlessness!" Justin complained, gesturing towards himself. "And do you even know how many contracts I'm a part of that I don't want to lose out on?"
"Well, you may as well try and prove that you're not completely useless for our team besides the obligatory eye candy, you buffoon!" Alejandro condescended.
"Hey! At least it makes me able to work with more malleable contestants like Lindsay and Beth!" Justin pointed out.
"They're on the other team, you imbécil!" snapped Alejandro, getting more in Justin's face.
Speaking of which, the two aforementioned girls overheard the arguing going on. Over the bickering in the distance, Beth remarked, "I still can't believe we used to be into that guy."
"Yeah, even I can't believe that I was into him!" Owen mentioned. His teammates all stared at him.
"Huh?" asked Beth, confused.
"Oh…well, uh, I don't think I've really told anyone this," Owen explained, "but even if I do like girls, I mean, c'mon, Izzy is absolutely amazing, sometimes I think guys can be pretty cool too!"
The rest of the Hamsters were rather surprised by this, but Tyler just patted him on the back and told him, "Well, I never knew you felt that way, but good for you, dude!"
"Aww, it's okay! We still think you're great no matter what!" Lindsay added
"Heh heh, that means a lot, guys!" said Owen.
(Confessional: Owen)
"I love how supportive my teammates are! At first, I wasn't really sure about what everybody would think of me if I was a bit more honest back when we started on the show, but man, does it feel good to know that I'm accepted no matter what."
(Brief pause)
"Total Drama rules! Haha!" (Pumps fists in the air)
(End confessional)
Meanwhile, Mike discussed his plans to his friend group.
"Oh, cool idea!" Zoey said. "Wait, Svetlana is vegan?"
"Yeah, we each have different tastes in things, like how Vito is obsessed with Anne Maria, but I like you." Mike explained, with Zoey blushing at the reaffirmation of his love for her.
"Sounds like a great idea, Michael." Dawn peeped while Cameron wrapped his arm around her shoulder, his face as red as his hoodie, which he actually put up since the winds were pretty chilly that particular day.
"But Mike, wouldn't switching all of your alters cause some sort of neurological issue?" Cameron questioned.
"Uh, no, not really, I've been able to switch them out in a small amount of time before, remember that time with the boat challenge?"
"Oh yeah! Haha, Vito with Svetlana's face kinda cracked me up when I remembered it." Zoey stated, Dawn was wincing as she did not want to remember that unpleasant day.
Cameron noticed this. "Hey, do you want me to ask them to stop?" he asked, concerned about Dawn's emotional situation.
"No, no, it's fine. I'd rather not make a scene out of this." she sighed, rubbing her shoulder.
"Oh, okay, I see. Well, if you ever need something from me, don't hesitate to ask." said Cameron, hugging the sweet aura whisperer.
"Don't worry, my love. I'll be alright, but I'm glad you're willing to stand up for me." She murmured, while hugging him back.
"Okay, campers, on your set, get marked, make like a teen girl on Black Friday, and begin!" Chris announced as the challenge officially started.
Zoey immediately kissed Mike's cheek, once again wishing him the best, while Justin was forced to go and compete.
"Run like your life depends on it, mojito, which it does!" Alejandro shouted in an attempt to get Justin to actually do something, as Justin simply rolled his eyes. He and Mike soon reached the large platter, and began to chow down.
"C'mon, Mike! You can do it!" Zoey cheered.
"Go, buddy!" Cameron hooted.
"You know, even if I never get to eat those yummy stacks of sunshine, it'll warm my heart if you love them as much as me!" Owen cried, beginning to tear up at his sentiment.
"Hey! How about some support for me?" Justin yelled at his team, his voice muffled from being stuffed with pancakes.
"Ugh, fine… C'mon, yeah, eat that pancake, or whatever." Duncan said as unenthusiastically as ever.
"Guys, is it bad I kinda want him to fail so we can get him out of here?" Gwen asked.
"Honestly, chica, I must agree to an extent, I would much prefer victory, but a loss here will be less painful since we really only have one good choice for elimination." Alejandro explained.
"To be fair, I'm kinda with you guys. I never knew him that much, so he's clearly our best bet for leaving the game." Heather interjected.
"Oh, now that is a lie if I've ever seen one! I'm pretty sure all of you were drooling over him! I mean, if Eva did, how would you not be able to?" Gwen pointed out, with Alejandro raising an eyebrow.
"Huh, something must be wrong with me then, because I have both of these dudes on my team yet neither seem to do me any favors." Jo groaned, annoyed at all the lady talk.
Soon the bell rang and Mike and Justin sprinted off as soon as they could, reaching the first obstacle, which happened to be a rolling log platform.
Mike took a deep breath and summoned the one, the only…
"Svetlana is here to perform today!" She exclaimed, and leaped onto the log with a handstand, and threw herself to the end, while Justin hadn't even touched it yet, he just sat in awe that Mike of all people was able to do that.
(Confessional: Justin)
"Okay, I'll admit, I don't know too much about other countries, partially due to the fact that I got a D in geography. But from what I can tell, Mike must be some sort of super powered prodigy! He's too powerful, and it kinda scares me." (Curls into fetal position)
(End confessional)
Mike, or rather, Svetlana, reached the rising and lowering butts.
"Ja, zat's really cute!" she said sarcastically, and hopped on each one perfectly, not missing a beat, but little did she know that Justin was actually beginning to catch up. It wasn't by a lot, though, but it was an improvement over being an entire 2 sections behind.
"Okay, that was horrifying," he said, panting, "but, hey, at least the-" He went silent as he looked up and saw the bouncing butts. "Oh, for the love of Freddie Mercury!"
"Un Svetlana vill be seeing you at ze finish!" she mocked, while Justin was more confused.
"Dude, your name is Mike!" he said. He wasn't aware about Mike's disorder and assumed he was just some insane kid. Svetlana just ran off to the next segment, the dreaded Grape Crusher, which was certain to give people a bad flight and pain in a very sensitive region.
"And vith zat amazing performance, Svetlana shall make her grand exit!" The Russian gymnast said, before closing her eyes to return control to Mike.
We then transition to the inside of Mike's subconscious, where Svetlana opened the door with a smile plastered on her face and a gleam in her eyes.
"Great work, Svetlana!" Mike commended her.
"You were bangin' out there." Vito added while chomping down some chips.
Svetlana struck a pose as the other personalities congratulated her.
"Okay, then, I should probably take contro-'' But before he could finish, Mike's body was tossed into the air, and landed, limply.
Chester then dusted himself off, walked up to Mike and said, "Yeah, no, sonny. I've got a feeling in my gitch that it's my turn."
"No, no, I think you should let me do it, just in case this is something I need to know."
"Ey, how come you get priority?" Vito butted in, shoving Chester out of the way.
"Come on, Vito, don't be like that," Mike scolded him, "You know that I'm the host, everything that happens to this body is filed under my name. Remember that time Chester gave dad's credit card information to someone he thought was the prince of Nigeria?"
"Eh, okay, whatevs…" Vito groaned as he flopped back on the couch.
Back outside of the subconscious, Mike slowly opened his eyes, he soon started feeling stings all over his body. He realized he had fallen pretty bad, and his whole body was aching. Zoey rushed over to see if he was hurt.
"Mike! Oh God, Mike, are you okay?" She cried, grabbing him and putting his head over her shoulder, her eyes beginning to water as she feared Mike had been fatally wounded.
Mike let out a whimper in pain. "No worries, I'm fine, except my everything is killing me right now." He said weakly.
"Oh, shoot, I'm so sorry!" Zoey said, retracting the tight grip, as Mike looked at her with a soft, but warm smile.
"Heh heh, it's okay, Zoey. Really, you don't have to always say sorry for everything. But I think we might have to nix putting Svetlana on every few turns, there's only so much she can do..." he said, rubbing his arm.
"Yeah, maybe it is for the best." Zoey lamented, trying to suppress her sniffling. "You go lay down now, alright?"
Mike nodded and returned to the starting line, where the rest of his teammates were trying to figure out who would go next. Owen would've been the first to ask, but he felt a very loud rumbling in his stomach.
"Uh oh, my stomach doesn't agree with today's breakfast…!" Owen groaned.
"That can't be good… Right?" asked Brick, who was confused and worried for Owen.
"Oh, trust me, Sarge… when Big O lets it rip, it's basically Hiroshima!" warned a nearby Duncan.
"Yeah, I'll take that as not being good, then." said Brick.
And sure enough, Duncan was right, as Owen then broke serious wind around his teammates, causing them to gag and for Zoey to take a puff of her inhaler.
"Maybe Owen should just go… Do what he's gotta do… And I'll do the next part!" Tyler suggested.
"Are you sure?" asked Cameron, "Because from the studies I ran while watching the first few seasons, your coordination skills appear to be rather poor even if you are quite athletic!"
"Hey, I've been going to the gym a lot more between seasons. I'm sure this'll be easier than blinking my eyes!" Tyler enthused while flexing his muscles. "Besides, the real reason why I always fall over when I do stuff like this is because I have really bad ADD," he then touched upon.
"If you say so…" said Cameron worriedly.
"His aura does seem to be very confident." Dawn mentioned.
"Alright, he can do this." Cameron decided.
"Right on!" Tyler proclaimed, pumping his fist in the air.
"Good luck!" Lindsay beamed, kissing his cheek.
"Heh heh, thanks babe!" Tyler responded while his face flushed red. "Let's do this!"
He then raced ahead, while Justin had slowly inched his way to the end.
"C'mon, man! Are you even trying?" cried Duncan.
"Hey, I have a future in beauty product commercials, I am not risking that!" Justin replied before immediately being launched in the air by the large metallic boot, landing hard on his back. The rest of the Vultures struggled to look at his expense.
"Ah, help! Somebody, help! I think my back's broken!" he shouted in anguish, unable to lift himself from the ground.
"Oh, quit being such a baby!" Heather sneered.
"Agreed, do you really think any of this will pass on your resumé?" Alejandro asked nonchalantly.
"Says the guy who was melted by a volcano and crippled to a robot for a year!" Justin retorted.
"I only lost some hair and a tiny bit of skin!" The Spaniard argued with fire in his eyes.
"Whatever!" Justin said, hunching his back and limping over to his team.
"Hey, I have an idea! Maybe since you think you're all high and mighty, why don't you take on Tyler?" Justin said as smartly as he could be.
"Alright, just try not to come crying to me when we get you out." Alejandro said as he rushed to the pancake.
"Oh hey, long time no see, traitor." Tyler muttered.
"Why? Are you still upset that we weren't actually buddies?" Alejandro said, leaning in to eat.
"Not only that, but you tried to get to Lindsay!" His tone was getting more frustrated.
"Oh, please, it was pure strategy. I much prefer women with more wit, your Lindsay has the brain of a potato. But even then, a potato is Stephen Hawking compared to her!" Alejandro said, this had poked a massive bear within Tyler.
"Oh ho ho, it's on now, Al! Just you wait!" Tyler was finally pushed to his limit, and his normally docile behavior had been morphed into pure rage.
The bell sounded and he raced off, Alejandro close behind.
"Prepare to lose once again." Alejandro jabbed.
"Okay, that's it! Time to get extreme!" Tyler felt the adrenaline course through his veins and ran all across the log and body slammed onto the first butt machine, only to be thrown around on the next few. "Ow! Augh! Oof! Ahh!" he shouted, being tossed around each red butt like a ragdoll.
"Oooh, that looks pretty rough!" Zoey cringed from back at the starting line.
"Maybe I can help him work on his coordination some time after the challenge…" Brick pondered.
"Ha ha! Are you guys seeing this? Oh man, this is hilarious!" Laughed a nearby Duncan.
"I've said it before and I'll say it again, I don't laugh at boyfriends!" Lindsay snapped.
Tyler continued to get bounced around the butt machines until finally landing near the Grape Crusher. "Owwwww…" he mewled before getting up and seeing the menace before him, as well as Alejandro already being there.
"Wha… When did you get here?" Tyler asked.
"Simple, while you were struggling, I gracefully leapt across those machines and arrived here!" Alejandro responded. "Have fun on that slingshot tonight!" Tyler looked down in remorse, before the Grape Crusher was released towards Alejandro, hitting his groin. He wailed in pain and was sent flying back to the starting line.
"Ha! Should have paid attention to your location, dude!" Tyler cheered, as he was kicked in his behind by the large machine, and promptly landed on his face.
"Stay strong, soldier!" Brick cried.
Tyler was barely able to lift himself back up before Alejandro, who was still clutching his crotch.
"I did it…" Tyler barely got out before falling into Lindsay's arms.
"Oh, it's okay, honey! Just stay here until you feel better!" she said caringly.
"Well, it seems all the guys who are in relationships we sent out aren't doing so well, so I'll volunteer myself as tribute for this round!" Brick said.
"Good luck out there." Zoey told the military cadet.
"No worries, ma'am. I should be fine, as long as Alejandro can't get back in time."
As he said this, Alejandro was crawling his way back to his team, leaving the perfect chance to get the early start.
"You hurting?" Justin asked as he lifted Alejandro's head from the ground.
"Si…" Alejandro whimpered.
"Good..." Justin said before letting go of Alejandro's head, making it faceplant into the ground.
"Alright, looks like Sargent Soily is up next, so it's up to me to take him down." Jo declared.
"Didn't he beat you yesterday?" Gwen asked.
"That was a fluke, Gwen of the Dead." Jo growled.
Brick had eaten a decent portion of his platter before Jo came in, and shoveled as much as she could into her mouth. Of course, it wasn't quite as much as Brick, but it was closer than before.
"Prepare to eat my dust!" She snickered. And like clockwork, the bell rang and both were tearing up the rolling log.
"This platform is only big enough for one of us, Jo!" Brick yelled. "And I will avenge my fallen brothers!" He soon began to run faster, and got off the log, Jo in hot pursuit.
"I'm not going down without a fight, G.I. Joke!" Jo shouted, as she barely passed him on the Butts, soon both were preparing to be launched into the air.
"I hear you like getting dominated, Brickey. So, call me Robin Williams, cause I'll be granting that wish pretty SOOOOO-" Jo was cut off as she and the cadet were tossed high into the sky, and landed back on the ground.
"Brickey?" He asked.
"Eh, I ran out of ideas." Jo said lazily.
Soon both were trudging their way back.
"You know, they should have got a transport system or something." Jo moaned. "Because this walking back is just redundant." She was slurring her words.
"I think it's a reflection type of thing, so we can think about all that happened." Brick sighed.
Just then, Jo went numb, and toppled over.
"Jo? Jo!" Brick rushed to see if the feminine athlete was alright.
"C'mon, soldier! Speak to me!" He shook her, which caused her to vomit all over his face.
"And… Jo is out for the count! Go shimmy on over to the penalty bench, if you will." Chris announced.
Brick was upset from being covered in vomit, but he was glad Jo was alright.
"Way to go, Eva 2.0!" Heather shouted.
"Oh, go get your hair shaved off again!" Jo fumed.
"So, who are we sending out this time?" Duncan asked.
"Heather?" Gwen said in gest.
"At this point, everyone else on this team has failed me, so… yeah. Why not?" Heather responded, stretching her legs. The Heroes watched, and thought which member would best go against the queen bee.
"Oh man, I wanna kick Heather's butt, but I have to take care of poor Tyler!" Lindsay cried.
"I'll do it." Beth said. "I'm gonna take her and mail her back to the sender!" and everyone cheered at her rather odd comment.
"Oh, so great to see you, Beth-edict Arnold!" Heather said with a venomous inflection.
"I've beaten you twice in a row, and I'll do it again here!" Beth said.
"Have you ever carried a wooden statue across an active volcano?" Heather said.
"Well, no-"
"Have you ever faced a mother condor?"
"No, but, hey, this isn't a trip around the globe, it's just an obstacle course." She said at last.
"Well, too bad none of your victories were athletic!" Heather snickered.
"Hey! Badminton is a sport! That was the whole point of that one episode!" Beth was fuming.
"Yeah, but it's not quite the same as jumping up and down on platforms, and maintaining your balance, all while not hurling." Heather snapped back, instilling unease into the socially awkward girl. "Don't know if you forgot, but I majored in Ballet junior year! No way is some baton twirler gonna show me up this time!" and she dove into the pancake.
Beth, however, took a while to eat the dish.
(Confessional: Beth)
"Ever since that footage of me eating the cookies was shown, everyone stayed clear of me, 'cause they thought I was kind of a jerk! But I've had time to change, honestly! I mean, yeah, I did go to jail at one point, but I'm still trying! And even I realized that my mindset wasn't healthy. It still kind of ruined eating for me, though…"
(End confessional)
"Beth! What are you waiting for?" Lindsay shouted.
"I still feel bad when eating sweets!" Beth said, almost tearing up.
"Hey! Pancakes are not sweets!" Owen suddenly said. "They have a perfectly normal amount of sugar!"
This unintentionally helped Beth get a grip on the competition. "Thanks, Owen. Alright, Heather, you're going down!" and she began to accelerate her consumption.
The bell rang and they raced down the log and over the butts, all the way to the dreaded Grape Crusher.
"You know, I wonder what this thing will do to us girls?" Beth asked.
"Probably help flatten your chunky behind, I assume?" Heather sniffed.
"Okay… you know, what happened to the Heather who wanted to be the good guy?" Beth asked, as Heather visually gulped and tried to look away.
Beth then formed a devious grin on her face. An evisceration was about to unfold. "Oh, I see. You don't want that Heather to come out because you think she sucks, that she isn't able to make friends, yeah. Well, listen here, honey. You have it all backwards. I mean, maybe if you were just a bit kinder to people, we wouldn't just abandon you every chance we get. Maybe Trent, Gwen, and Leshawna would've helped you out of that beaver dam, and maybe we would've ensured Alejandro lost! But no, you couldn't accept that part of you being a part of you. So, here you are, back to acting like a spineless coward like you always do!" Beth left Heather speechless.
"You know, I had to show I could change after my behavior back on the film lot, and I think you have a shot of redemption too." Beth's face went from one of malice, to one of sincerity, a look Heather had long since forgotten.
Just then, a click was heard, and soon the giant mechanical foot sent the ladies soaring as they screamed from being kicked with such force.
"You know, I really hate Chris sometimes." Heather said.
"Only sometimes?" Beth chuckled.
"This doesn't mean we're friends or anything." Heather stated.
"It's okay, I never wanted that… But yeah, you should work on that attitude." Beth said at last.
They both ran back at the same time.
"Not a word about any of what we just talked about, got it?" Heather threatened.
"Fine, I'll keep my lips sealed." Beth agreed, albeit a bit reluctantly.
"Aw, man, it's a tie?" Lindsay whined.
"Looks like it. Seriously, you guys are killing me, we can't be this neck and neck!" shouted Chris.
"Okay, that's it! I'm going in!" Owen announced.
"Really? Dude, I'm not sure if your tank has been evacuated yet..." Tyler said.
"No, no, it's apparent my team needs me." Owen then sped off and ate as fast as a shark through a whale.
"Okay, is anyone even gonna try competing with that?" Justin said.
"Well, unless you wanna avoid elimination." Gwen jabbed, making Justin a little furious.
"Fine, since you chumps won't do nothin', the Lightning's gonna have to take the wheel." Lightning suddenly declared, startling the feuding original cast members.
"Woah, sorry, dude… I forgot you were even here." Justin commented.
Lightning looked shocked. "How in the name of Magic Johnson could you forget about the Lightning?" He asked.
"Well, you have been silent this whole time." Gwen stated.
"Well, that's gonna sha-Change!" Lighting said, dashing off to face Owen.
"Oh-he-hi there, I remember you! You're the jock guy who made the finals last season," Owen said while chewing.
"Yeah, and you will, when I get you outta the game!" and with that, Lighting guzzled down the pancake as best he could.
"Oh also, congrats on coming out, dude. Lightning's sure it was pretty hard! But we minorities gotta stick together, ya know?" The football player's tone went from one of arrogance to sincerity.
"Aw, thanks, man!" Owen said with delight.
Soon, it was their time to rush through the course, which Owen kept breaking, only helping Lightning.
"You break it, you buy it, Owen!" Chris howled.
"I can't! Not without the money… Oh, wait… I already have a million bucks!" He realized.
(Confessional: Owen)
"Oh yeah, I forgot to tell everyone about this, but after season 4, me and Noah got talking, and we've been taking reality show gigs left and right! And I won this cool eating and cooking show!"
(Puts hands to his head)
"Aw man, now I feel bad for taking this offer to be on All-Stars! I mean, I love seeing my old friends again and making some new ones, but Noah isn't here, and I feel bad for abandoning him…"
(He put his hand behind his head and then made a bright idea)
"You know what, next time we go on a show together, I promise I'm gonna be closer with my little buddy! And maybe we can find him some new friends to snark around with!"
(End confessional)
"Too bad all that cheddar is gonna be under mating-fence!" Lightning said.
"Don't you mean maintenance, Jockstrap!?" Jo yelled, before barfing on the side of the penalty booth.
"Ha! That's what happens when you question the Lightning!" He said before falling off and getting butted in the nards.
"Ohhhh, Sha-CRAP!" he whimpered, and Owen leaped right onto the first bouncing booty, however, his obesity came back to haunt him once more.
"Oh, okay, wow! It's bending… Um, someone? Anyone!? Help!" The metal pole snapped as Owen fell into the mud pit underneath, landing right onto Lightning.
"Why!?" He mumbled, barely being audible due to being submerged in a thin layer of marsh.
"See, and you kids wonder why I'm so harsh on you! This is why! Do you know how freakin' hard it is to ask people to build mechanical platforms that look like butts? I looked like a creep in that meeting!" Chris snapped.
"To be fair, you were always kind of a creep, Chris!" Cameron shouted.
"Oh, was it because he called me hot once?" Lindsay asked.
"Well, yeah, Lindsay. That kinda talk isn't right coming from what? A 30-something-year-old man?" Zoey explained.
"Ohhh, so that's why my parents were always asking if I was alright, or if I was hurt, or if I needed any therapy for trauma that the show may have caused." She pondered, making her teammates cringe.
"Well, in the good ol' US of A, that kinda stuff is against the law. I'm not sure about here in Canada, though." he said.
"Oh, I live there!" Lindsay mentioned. "Wait, actually, I live in Austin, Texas. But I speak American!" she then clarified.
"Right… Well, technically, it isn't illegal here since 16 is the age of consent, but that doesn't mean I think it's okay. It's still gross hearing an old guy say a teenager is hot." Mike added.
"Of course, we're not animals." Zoey finished.
"Glad to know!" Brick said.
Meanwhile, Lighting was still struggling to get out from under Owen.
"I'm gonna sha-Drown!" He wailed, until he finally crawled out.
"Oh! Sorry, dude! It's sort of a habit that I crush people. Look, I don't wanna hurt anyone, but-"
"Nah, nah, I could tell, just remind the Lightning to keep a short distance." Lightning said at last, he was still upset with Owen, but decided that he should give the big guy a break to what he had said earlier about "minorities stick together".
"Okay, well, I'm gonna just go now." Owen said as he sprinted off, Lightning giving chase. Soon, they met up at the final area.
"Grape Crusher, eh? That kinda makes me-"
"Hungry? For grapes?" Lightning butted in.
"I was gonna say nostalgic. My old girlfriend used to kick me in the grapes. Oh, I miss Izzy..." Owen said, drooping down as he mourned the breakup. Just then, Owen felt a hard bump to the back.
"Oh, it's okay, Lightning. I got over… it?" Owen turned to see a giant shoe trying to move him forward, but instead, sparks flew and smoke billowed from the device.
"Oh, yeah, no- I… think I broke that..." Owen said at last, realizing what had happened.
Chris looked mortified. "I'm gonna sue you for everything you've got, Owen!" he yelled.
"And how can you do that when we have evidence of you and your co-host committing several crimes in the past?" Alejandro called.
"Y- I- uh…" Chris was at a loss for words, he had been cornered.
"Exactly," Alejandro quipped.
"Okay, I think it's clear I should just go back on foot. Humph!" Owen said as he just jumped off.
"Yeah, I think Sha-Lightning is gonna-ah-AH!" He then hurled all over Owen.
"Annnnd, Jackson's out!" Chris announced.
"Sha-No, dude! Lightning can't lose!" He cried, as he was dragged by Chef over to the bench where Jo was. She looked up.
"Oh, hey, Jockstrap…" Jo groaned, she was still feeling ill.
"Long time no see, Sha-Traitor!" Lightning said with malice.
"Oh can it, you idiot!" Jo barked.
"You'll see. Next time we lose, I'll vote you out, Jo!"
"I'm sorry, I thought Rudolph "Lightning" Jackson never loses!" she went on.
"Oh, you suck, Jo!" He said with contempt.
"Whatever..." She shrugged.
"Well… since Owen pretty much wrecked everything, looks like I have no choice but to bring back an old favorite." Chris said, as he signaled for some interns to bring in a heavily modified version of the Vomit Comet from season 2.
"Oh my scrunchies…" Beth said in the mere sight of the machine.
"Hope nobody barfs!" Chris said manicially.
It was made much larger and resembled a salad bowl.
"I'm so glad I never made it that far!" Lindsay remarked.
Owen climbed inside the contraption and Chef pressed the "Start" button. It began to spin extremely fast, as Owen held onto the sides of the machine while screaming for dear life.
"I want my mommy!" He wailed as he was panicking inside the claustrophobic space. Eventually, after a minute, the mechanical cookie tosser came to a stop.
"Yes! I knew that investment was worth it!" Chris cheered, while Owen groaned.
The Heroes all watched the Vomit Comet worriedly. "Quick, nobody say anything about throwing up!" Cameron said to everyone else on the hamsters.
"Affirmative, I don't wanna see what Owen is capable of…" Brick said.
The door opened and Owen tried to exit, but before he could get all the way out, the machine buckled under his weight and broke down, and then was set ablaze due to the wiring. Owen fell on the ground and Chris just stared in disbelief and horror.
"D… Did we win?" Owen asked, sounding extremely dizzy.
"NO! OF COURSE, YOU DIDN'T WIN!" Chris screamed. "THAT WAS A GOOD CHUNK OF OUR SHOW'S BUDGET THAT YOU JUST DESTROYED, DUDE!"
Chef walked to where Chris was standing and told everyone, "What Chris means to say… Is that the Villainous Vultures win on a technicality!" The Vultures cheered, while the Hamsters groaned.
"Finally! We won!" Gwen proclaimed.
"Indeed." said Alejandro. He then turned towards Justin and told him in a foreboding tone, "Looks like you're safe… For now." Justin simply rolled his eyes and turned around to leave, before being stopped by Jo.
"Huh? What do you want?" Justin asked the jockette.
"I'll tell you once we get away from everyone. Follow me." said Jo.
"…Okay?" Justin responded.
They went to an isolated area of woods. Jo then grabbed Justin by the collar and pinned him against a tree.
"Oh, sorry, Jo. I'm not into ugly, dude looking gir-" He was cut off by Jo slapping him across his face.
"Listen to me and listen well, pretty boy. I won't ever want to touch your orange peel looking body, but I need someone else to join my alliance." she said at last.
"O-Okay, f-fine." Justin barely managed to say.
"Good. And luckily, we have someone one the inside." Jo said.
"Inside of what?" Justin shrugged, getting up slightly.
"I'm working with a spy from the Hamsters, you dingbat! No wonder Al-akin thinks you're useless, 'cause you kind of are!" She smacked him on the head again, making him fall back down in a comedic fashion.
Soon it was nighttime, and the elimination process was about to begin. Heather was absent from the peanut gallery with the rest of the Vultures since she volunteered for the Boney Island exile.
"Alright, campers. Usually, I'd let you vote off whoever the heck you want, but tonight, it's clear that one of your members is only gonna cause more trouble if they stay here, so… Owen, you are officially disqualified!" They all gasped.
"You can't do that! Owen was one of the nicest people I've met! Barring Mike, Cam, and Dawn, obviously." Zoey yelled.
"Yeah, Oliver's a way cooler person than you'll ever be, Craig!" Lindsay joined in.
"Guys, it's fine! I'm okay with this." Owen said.
Dawn walked up to him and patted his forearm. "It's clear that you really miss Noah," she read.
"Yeah, I feel bad for leaving him all alone, we were a power duo! If he was here, I think we could've gotten to the merge! But I think it's my time to go, anyway. I'm not really sure how much more of this I can take. You guys have fun, though!" Owen said while escorting himself into the slingshot. However, the moment he stepped foot into the device, it broke.
"Aw, come on!" Chris complained. He then sighed and continued rather bluntly, "Fine, since we can't get you off the island… yet… I guess you're our newest intern, Owen."
"For realsies? Woo-hoo!" He raised his fists in the air, but then slowly lowered them as his expression did the same. "Wait… Aww, does this mean I gotta start moling again?"
"Um, heck negative! No way am I letting you anywhere near my expensive equipment anymore! You'll just wreck it all!" Chris fumed.
"Well, at least this means we'll see you around!" Beth affirmed.
"Aw, yeah!" Owen said, much happier now. He left the slingshot area as Chef started fixing the elimination contraption with masking tape.
"So, to wrap up the episode, will anyone be puking tomorrow? Can the heroes regain their lost streak? Find out next time on Total! Drama! All Stars!
Votes:
N/A (Due to Owen's disqualification)
ELIMINATION TABLE:
20th: Sierra
19th: Courtney
18th: Scott
17th: Owen
NOTES FROM AUTHOR: And that was episode 4! This one admittedly took a bit longer to finish due to obstructions I've had to get past in my real life such as school, varsity swimming, hobbies, and editing episodes 2 and 3, but here we are now! I admittedly had fun with writing this episode, however, since we got to explore stuff like Alejandro and Justin's rivalry, Heather possibly having another redemption arc, and hinting that Aleheather could still happen (For any Aleheather fans, don't worry, I'll make sure to try and explore them a bit more in future episodes)
As for why I chose to have Owen eliminated, honestly, I don't hate him or anything (Hell, he's an A tier contestant in my opinion), but I didn't see much for him to do in the grand scheme of the story or for any potential arcs, so I figured it'd be best if he got out early on (I plan to do this for a couple other characters I see as floaters). This could also be due to how in a lot of All-Stars rewrite fanfics I've read, they always have the first boot as either Lindsay or Owen. And considering how I do plan to explore Lindsay's character this season (Especially her relationship with Tyler), and since I wanted to try and get rid of the characters I disliked or saw as floaters first, I chose for Sierra to be the first contestant eliminated for the reasons I mentioned in episode 1. Again, I love Owen, he's baby and must be protected, but I didn't see much of a purpose in keeping him around for too long, so I decided it'd be best if he left sooner. Also, him being disqualified was the idea of one of the co-authors, you_2_cool, and not mine.
Thanks for reading this episode of Total Drama All-Stars Improved and stay tuned for episode 5!