The answers were written all over his face as soon as he came in.

"That bad, huh?" Janeway asked.

Chakotay rolled his eyes and collapsed on a nearby chair, clearly exhausted.

And why would he? He'd gone through two and a half shift changes, bypassing lunch and dinner first just to sit down with Tom. As if to remind him, his stomach gave an embarrassing groan that caused Kathryn to chuckle.

"Here, I took the liberty of replicating you something. I had a feeling you would skip dinner"

"And lunch" he supplied "Not that I'd notice. The tension was enough to keep me. Damn thing took eight hours."

"I noticed. I'd almost given up waiting and just gone to bed."

"Then I'm eternally gratefullad that you stayed up for m,e" he smiled, dimpled grin quickly disappearing behind a tunabeing hidden by a sandwich.

They'd basked in contemplative silence, trying to come up with the best way to sum up today's emotional meetings.

"I spoke with Harry today," she started. "He had some concerns aboutexpressed some worries on Tom's sleeping habits, and this idea of reconstructing the events through his dreams."

Chakotay nodded. "Yes, he said something about that. He told me that he could recall pieces of the abduction in his dreams. Nothing substantial though. I told him that a Spirit Quest might help so I scheduled a meeting for this week."

"A spirit quest?" she balked "Are you saying that we let him go through this? Chakotay, he's clearly suffering. , aAiding his delusions would be—"

"I believe him."

"You what!"

"I believe him. I think what Tom is doing is right."

"You spent three days in meditation telling yourself that B'Elanna was dead. Now your saying that you think she's alive."

"I'm not saying that. All I said was that I think what Tom is doing is the right thing. He needs Ttime, Kathryn, to heal, to let her go. If remembering would help him go through with this, then I suggest that we let him."

"But he isn't letting her go, he wants to find her! He doesn't believe that she's dead!"

"And is he the only one?" he challenged, "Had it been any other crewmember, we would have had a memorial by right now."

His steely gaze broke through her resolve, and she decided to confess her own doubts. They'd never discussed the incident, merely mentioning it in the reports. But they never once in the four months thought of how it affected them. In the beginning, everyone was feeling sensitive towards the loss, and there never seemed to be a right moment. Over time, Tom's withdrawal overshadowed everything else.

"I won't lie to you, B'Elanna's death has been difficult to accept, until now. I've come to understand that she may never walk ion the bridge again, or have coffee when she drops offby her reports. I still find myself looking for her when I see Joe Carey take her place during meetings…I think I will for a long time. But I'm trying, Chakotay, as should Tom."

"And he is," he explained. "We should just leave him be, up until you relieved him, he's never neglected his duties, and what he does in his own time is none of our concern. Eventually, he'll come to realize that we did what we had to do for the benefit of the crew. But in the meantime, we should let him have his own way."

The captain didn't seem convinced, and for a moment Chakotayhe was tempted to give her the same speech that Tom had used to sway him.

"What if it were the Captain?"

"What?"

"What if it were the captain that was abducted, and your spirit guide told you she was alive?"

"My spirit guide wouldn't—"

"Would you be able to go on," he argued "Would you be able to wake up every morning, face yourself in the mirror and go about life as usual, even when you know that a part of you was out there somewhere, suffering?"

"I don't have that kind of relationship with the captain."

"Yeah? Well you would if you stopped denying yourself."

Tom had dropped the subject, and he made no effort to pursue it, whether to defend his disassociation with the captain or to explain his hypothetical actions.

Their situations were entirely different. Had Kathryn been abducted he would assume the role of captain, and as a captain he wouldn't have the luxury—as he did now—of keeping himself in suspension for four months, hoping for some miracle that might never happen.

But the argument was enough to win him over, and he'd agreed to stop badgering Tom, as well as keep the captain and Harry off his back, provided that he'd make more of an effort to take care of himself.

He also told Tom that he'd talk to the captain in letting him go back to his duties as helmsman. He wasn't entirely sure whether this made the pilot happy, since it meant less time searching for B'Elanna. He was convinced that the less time Tom spent devoted to her would make accepting her death easier.

"That's probably the best option that we have right now," Kathryn said. "In the meantime, I've arranged for some shore leave."

There was an awkward pause as they remembered the last time they had shore leave.

"That might take some of the edges away, boost morale."

"Exactly, but this idea came from Harry, aimed at one crew member in particular," she punched in a few keys in her terminal "Take a look at this"

It took a while for Chakotay to comprehend what he was reading, but the supporting images supported his thoughts.

"A regatta? In space?"

"Pretty good, isn't it?" she remarked. "If this doesn't get Tom's attention, I don't know what will."

"It could prove to be a good distraction for him, but can we afford it?"

"Gee Ddad, live a little," she replied mockingly. "I think our budget can support this one thing for Tommy and the crew."

"You wouldn't say that if you weren't the one that did the budgeting around here."

The two of them laughed at the situation, and not for the first time, Chakotay reflected on Tom's words abouton his and Kathryn's relationship.

"We do sound like parents, don't we?" he said.

Kathryn just shrugged her shoulders, although her eyes were bright. "Well? I really do think it's a good idea. Harry spent a good part of his day off scanning the sub-space bands, looking for something interesting for the crew. I think they deserve this Chakotay."

He sighed. "I suppose we can fit this in."

"Great" she said, slapping her desk for emphasis. "I'll ask Harry to draw a plan."

"Let's hope Tom's feeling up to it."

"Oh, he will be when he realizes the Delta Flyer will be competing. Harry says he's been working on her for months."

"I guess everything is set."

"Yes, we just have to tell Tom about it."

They stared at each other, waging a mental competition on who should perform the considerable task of telling him, until they both seemed to reach a decision.

"Let's make Harry do it."

"Agreed."