Portrait of a Fallen Angel

Chapter 2: Magdalena

Overcome by this holiest of altars
so pure, so rare to witness such an earthly goddess
that I've lost my self control

Jay sat in his parked car, as he did many nights, waiting for Emma to come home. He looked at his watch. It was 8:30, and Emma came home promptly at 8:36 every night. She would go to the library until then. Or sometimes she would sit in the park until it became too dark to read. Usually she would go to Manny's. Jay didn't know how much longer he could stand this, this compelling urge to go to her and heal her. To kiss her pain away. To feel her arms around him. He had been such an idiot to reject this goddess. But how was he supposed to know that he would fall in love with her when she was on stage. When she had said, "What have I done to deserve this? I, who have walked in meekness for all of my days?" the line had fit Emma so perfectly.He could see it.He could see her asking herself, asking her God the very same question. What had she done to deserve to watch Rick die? What had she done to deserve the wayJay hadtreated her? What had she done to deserve such a tragic fate?

Beyond compelled to throw this dollar down
before your holiest of altars
I'd sell my soul,
my self esteem a dollar at a time for
one chance,
one kiss,
one taste of you my Magdalena

He would give anything to be with her. He would sell his soul. He would sell himself, or all of his earthly possessions. He'd sell his car, his stereo system. He would give her anything she wanted if she would only be with him. Her kiss had tasted so good. Her lips had been so soft. Her hand, rested gently on the curve between his shoulder and his neck, her gentle fingertips brushing against his skin. He had savored every moment. He dreamed about it. He desired it. He would kill for it.

I bear witness to this place,
this prayer so long forgotten
so pure, so rare to witness such an earthly goddess

He had actually prayed for her to notice him. Jay, who did not believe in God, had bended on his knees and worshiped the very God he used to make fun of. He had begged. He had pleaded. And he had wept when his prayers had remained unanswered.

One chance,
one kiss,
one taste of you my black Madonna
I'd sell my soul,
my self esteem a dollar at a time for
one taste of you my Magdalena

All he wanted was one kiss. One kiss and he would have her forever.

Song: Magdalena, from A Perfect Circle.