Obsession
By: Starlight-x1
I have had two obsessions in my long life, only two. Perhaps some would disagree with my assessment if they looked through my past lives and histories. Yes, some would probably claim I'd had more obsessions then just two. I would have to disagree. Much of what others would consider obsessions I saw as only passing fancies. They never drove me on relentlessly like death did. It flirted with me, always just ahead and yet so far; as formless as a cloud of smoke. It swirled around me before dissipating into nothingness.
For me death held a lure ever since I learned that I was the only child it rejected. Being continuously thrust back into a life that was foreign from anything I had ever known before became wearying. Yet as much as the world changed it continued to hold a modicum of sameness. Faces may have changed but I found that humanity itself refused to change, always concerned with self. I soon grew disinterested in their petty squabbling.
My newest rebirth came and I chose to masquerade as a priest, the ultimate irony for me since I didn't believe in a god whatsoever. Perhaps it was a form of pure torture since I chose to surround myself with the humanity and noises I'd come to despise, children and their laughter. Still if I hadn't chosen the path I did I would've never met my other great obsession: Rain Jewlett.
You might wonder why I became obsessed with him. I honestly could not give you a reason. Maybe because out of all the humans I had encountered he was the first person who accepted anything and everything without censure. He was different, unusual. Behind his smile I sensed someone who could possibly understand me. Rain offered his friendship freely, with an open hand. He asked for nothing in return.
At that time humans had begun their search for immortality. To them my curse was a treasure just out of reach. They feared death, the treasure I could never attain. So foolish. I scorned their attempts to reach what they could not ever possess.
Still I had my own goals to attain and pretending to help brought me closer to reaching them. It was only after I began my project that I realized how urgent it was for me to complete it. For it was then that my two obsessions met. Death touched Rain in the form of tuberculosis. He knew he was dying but continued to smile and laugh just as before. I determined death would not have him. It had mocked me long enough; I would stop it this time.
So, I allowed my obsession to lead me. I followed it until it led me to the moment of reunion. As I stood looking at Rain I saw that he was not changed. Certainly, his hair was longer and his eyes held shadows I helped put there. But Rain refused to change. He stood and defied my efforts, determined to stay himself no matter how hard I would try to alter him.
Maybe that's why I'll continue pursuing him forever. Perhaps just perhaps he wasn't my obsession after all. Perhaps he was just my last fragment of hope. The only unchanging bit of sanity left to me. Who can really say? I only know that he was the one person I ever called friend.