Author's Notes: I continue to be so, so, so grateful for all the great responses to my story. Thank you, every one of you, for reading and reviewing and coming back for more!
Someone Else's Star
by Kristen Elizabeth
"Two roads diverged in a wood and I--I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference." – Robert Frost
October 2000
She'd never met Holly Gribbs and she hadn't really done all that much to help catch the woman's killer, but Sara still felt satisfied as she stood with Grissom's team, watching the man be carted away.
"Let's go home," she heard Grissom say, and for the first time in over a day, she thought of Matt and San Francisco. All of the responsibility waiting for her back in California pressed down on her chest; she had to walk away from the group in order to catch her breath.
Catherine Willows approached her, removing her sunglasses. "You interested in breakfast?"
She wanted to say yes, but Sara shook her head. "I need to finish up some paperwork and then find a flight back." She held out her hand. "Thanks for putting 'bling-bling' in my vocabulary."
The older woman shook it firmly. "Anytime." Slipping her shades back on, she gestured to Warrick and Nick. "Pancakes are on me, guys. Usual spot."
"Be there in ten," Nick called back as they started across the lot towards his car.
"Grissom, are you in?" Catherine asked.
Sara dug into her bag for a piece of Nicorette; sometime on the flight between San Francisco and Las Vegas, she'd decided to quit. It was a hundred times harder than she'd thought it would be. As she searched, she tried not to pay attention to Grissom's reply, like it didn't matter to her at all whether they got to talk before she left.
Still, she couldn't hide her smile when he replied, "Not this time."
Catherine's car pulled out of the lot after Nick and Warrick, leaving them alone.
Sara gave up on the gum and folded her arms over her chest. "So…" she started.
At least he was equally at a loss for words. "Yeah."
"Let's get some coffee."
"How about coffee?"
They spoke at the same time, and laughed on cue. With the ice temporarily broken, Grissom gestured to his car. "I know a good spot."
"Mocha Vanilla." Grissom sipped his plain black house blend and shook his head. "It was Cinnamon Hazelnut at Berkeley, if I remember correctly."
"Good memory," Sara complimented him.
"Well…" He cleared his throat. "It was a good day."
She concentrated on doctoring her coffee while she processed this. Finally, she looked up. "You have a first-rate team, Grissom. I enjoyed working with them."
"It's an incomplete team now," he said. "And I'm in charge of it."
"Your promotion doesn't exactly seem to thrill you."
He took a sip and winced at the heat. "I hate paperwork and I'm terrible at politics."
Sara rested her chin in the palm of her hand. "'The price of greatness is responsibility.'"
"Churchill." Grissom glanced down at his cup. "Do you think I can do this?"
She met his stare when he looked up. "I have no doubt."
They watched each other for a long time. "Sara, I can't begin to tell you…"
"You're welcome," she preempted him. "I hope I helped answer some of your 'why's'."
His smile was rueful. "You did. Some of them, anyways."
"The 'why's' never really get answered. We're in the business of the 'who's,' the 'where's,' the 'how's.' You taught me that."
Another moment passed by in silence. Finally, Sara looked down at her watch. "I should get going…find a flight before they're all booked up."
He frowned. "Yeah."
She rose out of her chair just enough to lean across the table and kiss his cheek. It was the boldest move she'd ever made in her life, and the frantic thumping of her heart proved it. "Don't be a stranger," Sara told him. "All right?" Grissom nodded mechanically as she stood up, slinging her bag onto her shoulder. "Bye."
"Wait."
Sara stopped short, and turned her head to see him. He touched his cheek briefly as he went on. "Bear in mind, administration is still new to me. So if I do this wrong…forgive me." Grissom paused, as if collecting himself. "I'm short one person on graveyard. And there's really only one person I think could fill that spot."
Oh, she wanted him to ask her. God, she hoped he didn't. She wasn't sure she was ready to make that choice.
"I realize you have a job in San Francisco, but strings can be pulled…formalities overlooked." He tried to smile. "I'll have my director call your director."
"Grissom." Sara shook her head. "Are you trying to ask me…?"
"I want you to stay. Be a part of my team." He searched her eyes. "What do you think?"
"I think…" She stood on jellied legs. "I need to…um…step outside for a minute." Ignoring his puzzled look, Sara grabbed her bag and started for the door.
The fresh air cleared her head, evaporating some of her panic, and allowing a spark of joy to light up her heart. Grissom wanted her. He could have his pick of all the criminalists in the country, but he'd hand-picked her. It was an honor beyond words.
It was also a huge problem.
She dug into her bag for her phone and dialed.
Matt answered after the first ring, like he'd been standing by the phone waiting for her call. Which wasn't entirely out of the realm of possibility, she realized.
"How's the case?" he asked after her 'hello'. The question was strained. Like everything else between them.
"Good." She looked up at the sky. "Wrapping up."
"I miss you."
Hissimple statement punched her in the chest. "Matt," she began.
"You're not coming home tomorrow…or the day after tomorrow…or even at the end of the week. Are you?"
Sara chewed her lower lip. "I don't know."
"Why?"
She nearly lost it right there; his desperate plea for understanding had her heart breaking. "It's too much. The flowers and…and the honeymoon. My dress. I can't…I need time, Matt."
It took him a few seconds to reply. "Okay. Okay, Sara. What are we talking here? Six months?" She said nothing. "A year?" Still, Sara was silent. "More than that?"
"Can we play it by ear?" she whispered. Matt cursed under his breath, and she added, "I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say but…I'm sorry."
He spoke again just as she'd almost given up and ended the call. "Take the time you need. Find all the answers to your questions. Get him out of your system. Whatever you have to do…do it. I'm not going anywhere. I love you, Sara. And even if you can't say it right now, I know you love me, too."
She closed her eyes; tears spilt over. "Bye, Matt."
It would be the last words spoken between them for six years.
Sara went back inside the coffee shop and slipped into her seat across from Grissom.
"Everything all right?" he asked, still frowning in confusion.
She'd wiped the liquid evidence off her cheeks, but she couldn't quite work up a smile yet. "Fine," she told him. "Have your director call my director. I'd love to be a part of your team."
Grissom's smile was bright enough for both of them. "You won't regret it, Sara. I promise."
In all the lies, that one would hurt the most.
To Be Continued