Thank you guys for the reviews :P

Yay the plot is moving. Just kidding, it has no plot, thanks to the title. FF changed since I came back. Now you can't even put percent signs, wtf?

DISCLAIMER: I have a headache.

III. he was unpredictable

-

Ryou Bakura was not a happy person. He was raised to be a nice kid. It was a nice attempt, and he turned out to be fairly agreeable, if there wasn't anything to piss him off. As long as other people didn't bother him, then all was well and dandy. But if they did then… well, the MERF VORB would probably benefit more from it.

Besides, he couldn't just ignore the fact that he was prettier than the average (or above average) boy and (more times than often) girl because it wasn't like everyone else did. Sometimes, he was the envy of the female (and gay) population with his sleek, shiny, silver hair that needed no conditioning, and his pale, faultless skin. His strawberry cream scent was natural, and who could resist that?

Always, he would get tired of all the beauty tip questions directed at him, and would promptly yell for everyone to fuck off because he couldn't be bothered to take baths. If he was dirty, he ran through the rain. Naked? everyone asked. But Ryou never told them. However, he did notice the large numbers of people roaming around ever since, even at the slightest hint of a drizzle.

Eighty percent of the school population answered 'yes' when the annual poll of "Do you possess an insatiable crush on Bakura Ryou?" was out last year. This year, the statistics rose to 95 percent. Oh heavens, he wasn't going to sit back and take the roaming hands, lips, feet, limbs, and other body parts as if some unseen force drew them to him (and later, the said body parts would usually become broken, battered, slashed, or mutilated in some way).

Ryou had never met anyone would could match up to him. He was a bit arrogant about it, but he could afford to be. It was what he needed for survival, damn, or at least, his virginity. Oh no, of course he wasn't a sex idol! How could one think that? He was just fluffy, cute, and very, very… lovable. Yes, a fluffy bunny who caused many injuries when handled incorrectly.

Then there is the remaining 5 percent of the people who either didn't bother him or just weren't interested in having some unnatural premature death. Yugi-tachi were the only people Ryou could stand, and perhaps, even like.

Jounouchi seemed to always be tripping over something. Or eating too much. Or both.

Honda's hair was funny. Like Ryou's, it was natural, and it shocked people (although the same could be said for Yugi). Like Bakura's, it could also be used as a lethal weapon.

Anzu was just there, but Ryou hasn't figured out what purpose quite yet, except for drawing smiley faces on people's hands.

Yugi was different from others because he could have certainly rivaled Ryou in cuteness. Besides having the face of an eight-year old, sometimes, he behaved like one, too.

But now, Ryou has a problem. A problem that he didn't expect would affect him so much. In fact, it bothered him. A lot.

Ryou had never strained himself to keep up with anyone. Then along came Bakura.

It was a fact that the other really had no special reason for the daily scuffles.

It wasn't envy, they looked alike. It wasn't lust, they looked alike. And it wasn't hatred; they could have cared less (and they looked alike).

And it was that spirit who could successfully piss him off 24/7, but somehow still manage to remain alive.

It was Bakura who had seen Ryou's capability of true terror.

It was Bakura whom Ryou kicked at night when he snored.

It was Bakura who had seen Ryou's bed-head in the mornings.

It was Bakura who knew Ryou had a secret weakness for green tea ice cream.

It was Bakura who knew Ryou did take baths.

It was Bakura, and no one else.

-

"Bakura?"

Some muffled sounds from downstairs were heard. "If you want to talk, get your ass down where I can hear you. Or shut up."

Ryou was a pro at filtering out Bakura's offending way of communication. It was necessary for both of them to continue existing.

He found Bakura on the couch, watching a random old animation about happy pandas and bunnies to save the flowers and trees from the evils of deforestation.

Ryou raised an eyebrow.

"Hey, it's not like anything good is on, okay? And you modern humans really suck, killing the poor trees and stuff." Bakura shook his head, frowning at the T.V.

As disturbing as Bakura's environmental-awareness was, Ryou ignored his comment, as he did many other times before.

"Why do you hurt me?"

Sure, it was and awkward question, but he didn't know how to phrase it otherwise. If Ryou were a normal boy, he would have said it in a whisper, voice quivering with an unsteady rattled breath. But Ryou was not, and so he said this with a firm lip, genuinely curious expression that hid nothing. And there was nothing to hide.

In turn, Bakura knew him too well to take him seriously. "You mean emotionally or mentally?"

"I mean, why do you hit me?"

He struggled with it; the bluntness actually made Bakura snigger. "God, Ryou, you're making this sound like I'm the big bad wolf who gobbles you up, instead of the injured party."

"Just answer the damn question."

If Ryou were a normal boy, Bakura wouldn't have replied, "Well, half the time, you start it first."

And by that, Bakura didn't mean that he beat the crap out of Ryou because he was fed up with the other's constant sniveling, crying, and angsting. By that, he meant,

"If your fist and foot connected less with vulnerable parts of my body, then maybe we wouldn't have this problem."

As if he was trying to pin the crime on someone else, which he was. But he had every reason to.

"Oh, so now it's my fault? I wouldn't have to do that if you stopped pissing me off every other sentence."

"Excuse me, but we both know I have more bruises than you. Thanks to your part in shoving me out the window."

"That wouldn't have happened if you had kept your hands off my special multi-colored Ham-chan pen." But the question wanted to be answered, and Ryou persisted. "Everyone else tries to get in my pants. But it's different from you."

If Ryou were a normal boy, then he would have been suffering an internal conflict as he said this. He would stutter and wonder if Bakura would take it the wrong way.

"How so?"

"Because you are me."

Bakura's eyes met Ryou's before he smirked.

"That is so clichéd." But it was true. "And it sounded so corny." It did.

"Shut up."

"Will do." He turned back to the television.

Ryou almost sighed, but he stopped himself. Instead, he walked away, not sure if he was content with such an answer.

"Ah, yes, I forgot."

Rolling his eyes, Ryou glanced over his shoulder, waiting, but Bakura made no move to turn around and face him.

"You look cuter when you're angry."

If Ryou Bakura were a normal boy, he would have blushed as Bakura said that. His cheeks would have reddened, and he would have replied with a sickeningly-cute-but-effective, n-na-nani?

But of course, if Ryou weren't normal, then he wouldn't have been able to entertain a crapload of girls by marching over and shoving Bakura's head into the fish tank in one swipe

But the doused one was good at holding his breath. One had to be, if living with Ryou.

Venomously, "Is that all you have to say?"

Bakura shrugged, as if his hair smelling like fish rot meant nothing to him. Maybe it didn't, because like Ryou's strawberry cream scent ability, Bakura had his magikkal spicy tangerine aroma. "Yeah, I guess."

"Whatever."

If Ryou were a normal boy, then he would have realized that his big ego was getting in the way of possible more-than-friendship feelings for the other boy. But that would have been so angsty and sad for such a happy fanfiction, and he was Ryou, the badass, so he let it go.

All the fish in the aquarium died the next day.