If Not Now When Chapter 7: Wow! Water Like Has NO Calories!, a dark angel fanfic

Jade - DA- If Not Now When?

Title: If Not Now When?
Author: Jade
Rating: PG-13 I think a little bit of language
Show: DA
Genre: Angst/Romance
Pairing: M/A ALL the way!
Type: WIP
Summary: Alec leaves Seattle. How will everyone react, especially Max?
Disclaimer: I don't own anything or anyone apart from Storm.

A/N: This is AU as Biggs is alive and well kicking!

A/N 2: See I'm taking it easy on Max. I told you I would. ; )

A/N 3: Please Read and Review

Mood Music: Matchbox20 'If You're Gone', Evanescence 'Bring Me To Life', Toploader 'Achilles Heel'

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Chapter 7 - Wow! Water Like Has NO Calories!

Location: TC - Max's Office

"Ok now at the risk of sounding like i'm a few IQ points short of even being the author of 'Wow! Water Like Has NO Calories!' I need a re-run of what I've just heard. I'll re-cap and feel free to correct me if I'm wrong"

All she got from Max was a small nod of acceptance which at this point in time was more than good enough for Storm.

"One, you don't want Alec to die. Two, you care about him. Three, you believe that he will die because you care about him."

"Correct."

"Uh-huh. What I'm having a hard time comprehending is why Alec would die if you care."

"Because so far that has been the case of every time I cared about someone."

"Max, Zac's alive. He's actually leading a relatively normal life compared to the rest of us. They've accepted him like one of the family in the farm. Forget about them accepting him, he has accepted them. Remember what he did to those x-6's on surveillance? He beat them to a pulp just because they treaded on Bill's award wining pumpkins while they were trying to see if Zac was ok. He's happy. For once in his life he feels like he belongs which is something most of us still wish for."

"It only took a heart transplant and a bionic body for it to happen!" Max put in sarcastically.

"Yeah well no one ever said life was perfect. It doesn't matter how he got to that point. The only thing that matters is that he did and it worked out ok."

Storm looked at Max with her eyes pleading for her to understand. Max was sitting on the worn armchair opposite her with her legs tucked underneath her and her hands imply playing with the loose threads from the large rip on its arm.

"And Logan?"

"Logan's alive."

"He has to live with the risk of dying everyday."

"So do the rest of the population!"

"But not everyone has a genetically engineered virus created solely for the purpose of killing them."

"There is something you don't seem to be realising here."

"And what's that?" Max had lifted her head up and was gazing at Storm with her eyes daring her to tell her something she could relate to.

"It was his decision."

"To be infected? 'Cos call me crazy but I don't think so!" Max couldn't believe that was all Storm could come up with.

"No, that's not what I meant. It was his decision to be involved. He knew the risks of taking on Manticore, but he decided to take a chance and go for it. You didn't make him."

"But if it wasn't for me he wouldn't have known about Manticore and got involved."

"Max he's Eyes Only of course he would have come across it sooner or later. Give the guy some credit. Logan made the choice the same way Zac did. Zac decided to save his little sister's life. He did a very honourable thing. It just shows how much he loves you. To him there was no choice to make. It was an act of love. Don't you understand sweetie? There is no reason to blame yourself about all of this. And you can't keep on shutting people out because you blame yourself. It's not healthy. You have all these walls up and you won't let anyone in. Isn't it time to build bridges instead of walls? Aren't you getting lonely up in that castle Princess?"

"I'm not shutting everybody out. You're in, Joshua's in."

"You know what I mean Max."

"This is the way it has to be."

"Why?"

"It's safer."

"Safer for who?"

"I can't let him close to me."

"Max?"

"You think I feel guilty about Zac and Logan? It doesn't even compare to how guilty I feel about Ben."

Storm had no idea who Ben was but decided to let Max go at her own pace.

"I protected him the only way I could but he deserved so much more. He deserved a chance to be happy. I couldn't give him that."

Max was staring at the wall straight ahead of her. Storm realised that Max had slowly started to drift away mentally.

"It was so beautiful in the woods. There were trees and foliage all around us. There were so many tones of green that I had never seen before. Everything looked so fresh, so alive. It had rained so the soil was damp and there was mildew on the leaves. The smell of wet grass was intoxicating. I hadn't stopped to smell it for so long. It felt like time had slowed down to give us some peace. I couldn't even hear their footsteps on our trail anymore. It was so quiet. All that could be heard was droplets of water falling down on to little puddles on the soil or on the patches of grass. Ben was lying on the floor with his back leaning against me trying to gather some energy that his injury was ridding him of. He seemed to be taken in by the scenery as much as I had been. Even though he must have been in a lot of pain he managed to look so at ease and comfortable. I guess it was familiar territory for him. He looked at me and smiled and even though our situation was dire I couldn't help but smile back at him. That's when I knew what I had to do. We weren't gonna make it but I wouldn't let them hurt my brother again. He had been through so much already. I started to tell him about the good place like he'd asked me to. I inhaled his scent one last time and ..." Max paused and exhaled deeply before she went on. "It was over very quickly. I laid him down and looked at him before I left. There was still the hint of a smile on his face. I had never seen him look so peaceful before, not even when we were children. Then I ran. I just ran. It had started to rain again so I didn't know if it was the rain drops making my face wet or my tears. Now every time it rains I remember that day and the way he smiled. This town has a strange habit of making me remember him every day. Maybe that's why I don't want to leave it. I don't want to forget. I don't deserve to forget."

It was only when she'd stopped talking that she realised she had been crying. When she looked at Storm she saw that her eyes were tearful.

"Oh Max, I'm so sorry."

"I can't go through that again. It nearly broke me. At the time I couldn't imagine going through something worse but I can now Storm. It would be so much worse. I can't let anything happen to him. If I remove myself from the equation then nothing will. If me not seeing him ever again or him thinking I hate him is going to keep him safe and away from harm then so be it. Like you said it was Zac's decision to do what he did and it was Logan's decision to take the risk. Now it's my decision to make sure he's safe."

"At whatever the cost to you?"

"Yes. I don't care about me. I care about him. He's got so much ahead of him. He deserves it."

"Don't you think he deserves the chance to have a say in the matter?"

"In the perfect world, yes but as you know the world is far from perfect."

"Max he's an alpha he can take care of himself."

"No."

"But he loves y..."

"I WILL NOT BE HIS DEATH STORM! I'D RATHER DIE THAN BE HIS DEATH!"

"Ok."

"Promise me you wont tell him."

"Even though I really think you should?"

"Yes, even though you think I should. Please Storm?"

"Fine. I cross my genetically enhanced heart with my genetically enhanced arm and hope to die oh God forbid a normal death."

"Thank you." said Max with a smile and did something Storm would never imagined she would do. Max leaned over and gave her a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek before she left the room.

After getting over the initial shock of the revelations and the display of affection form Max, Storm also left Max's office and made her way towards the Command Centre in search of Biggs. She found him in his Office going through the filing cabinet. The second she set eyes on him her heart began to thump faster. She knew she was lucky to have him but she had never realised just how much till today.

Biggs felt her eyes on him and turned around to face her. As Storm got closer to him he realised that she had been crying. He gently touched he cheek with his hand and felt the moisture.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. Can you just hold me for a little while?"

Biggs pulled her towards him and enveloped her with his arms while she held on to him. Max found them sitting on the couch with their arms around each other a quarter of an hour later. Seeing them together like that had made her heart constrict. She didn't want to disturb them so she went towards the pigeonholes situated in one corner of the Command Centre. The pigeonholes were used as a way to keep in touch with the many inhabitants of TC. Everyone had one and it was compulsory for them to check their own twice a day. When it had first been introduced by Alec it had been strictly used for TC stuff slowly by slowly it also started to be used for social stuff. In Mole's case social also included the time when a box of his un-smoked cigars had gone missing and the next day each transgenic had found the following note in their pigeonhole.

If my cigars are not returned back to my desk
within 6 hours I swear I'll sing 'Hit Me Baby
One More Time' at the meeting tomorrow at 0800.
You all remember what happened last time!

Mole

The last time Mole sang everyone had had a splitting headache that had lasted for three days. Some of the transgenics had even banged their heads repeatedly on the wall in an effort to lose consciousness so the pain would end. By the end of the day Mole's desk had been filled with cigar boxes, most of which still had their packaging.

On top of the rows of pigeonholes there was the giant Bulletin Board. It was used to make announcements to all the inhabitants of TC. It was there that Max stuck the note she had written. With that she looked around the place one last time as she grabbed her backpack and made her way towards her baby.