Disclaimer: Don't own anything Dwarf related - Just my weird imagination... Didn't really get the best deal there did I?

Anyway, Here's the next chapter and it's unfloding slowly, more from Bobby soon...

Rimmer yawned and opened his eyes sleepily. – Saturday – His day off. He rolled over and looked at the clock – 2pm? He never slept this late, oh well at least he felt rested and relaxed.

He closed his eyes contentedly; Howard and Hattie would be downstairs so he had the whole place to himself… Maybe after a bit he'd get up make a fry up and play a bit of James Last?

His lazy thoughts were interrupted by sudden knocking on the front door.

"Hey roomie! Open up, Howard said he left our keys on the counter and I want to get unpacked and pick my room!" Came Lister's irritating voice through the doors.

This. Is. Not. Happening! Rimmer thought as he dragged himself to his feet and put on a neatly folded shirt and pair of trousers he grabbed from a drawer.

"Hurry up!" Lister yelled as Rimmer crossed the main floor and unlocked the door.

"Smeg off."

"Now, is that any way to speak to your new roommate?" Lister cooed as he staggered in carrying a rather heavy and full looking box.

"What is all this junk?" Rimmer sighed as he padded back across the floor to the kitchen and opened the fridge.

"What junk?" This is all quality stuff!" Lister protested, holding up a random item.

"It's a toaster." Rimmer responded as he poured himself a glass of milk.

"It's not just a toaster Rimmer – It's a Talking Toaster!" Lister corrected proudly as he took the item out of its packaging and placed it on the kitchen worktop.

"Really? And there's me thinking it was just a piece of crap." Rimmer said sarcastically leaning sleepily against the fridge door.

"You won't be saying that next time you want toast." Lister pointed out as he picked up a bunch of letters and stuffed them back in the box.

"What's that?" Rimmer asked in a bored tone.

"It's called paper smeghead."

"Oh haha." Rimmer muttered, yawning.

"Lennon! McCartney! I'm so sorry you guys! Look let me get you some water!" Lister cooed into the box.

"Lister have you got PETS?" Rimmer cried irritably.

"Define the word 'pets'? Lister asked as he pulled out a bowl containing old looking water and two goldfish, the bowl was wrapped in a bag to protect water spillages.

"Oh the RSPCA are gonna love you!" Rimmer scoffed.

"Relax – They're robotic!" Lister said putting the bowl on the counter.

"Wow electronics and water – SO not dangerous." Rimmer teased as he started to wander back to his room.

Hattie wiped down a table absently and bit her lip. All she had to do was go up and ask him out – It wasn't an extremely hard thing to do was it?

"Hattie?" She turned at the sound of his voice as he walked together all smart and nervous.

"Hey How." She smiled.

"Look I need your advice – You're a woman right?"

"Last time I checked."

"Well which tie – Blue or blue and grey?" He asked holding up the two ties for inspection.

"Blue." She said after a moment. "So who is she?" She forced herself to ask as she did his tie for him.

"She's called Susan – Lives just down the road – number 81." He explained.

"Lovely." She smiled through gritted teeth. "Have fun now!" She called as he left. "Grrrrr!" She yelled slumping across the bar.

"Woah Hat – You've got this sexy… moody thing going on." Hat lifted her head as Danny sat down opposite.

"Hiya Danny?" She sighed, turning to serve someone.

"What's up?" He asked as she spilt beer on her hand.

"You mean apart from my wrist been covered in half a pint of Eau de Carlsberg? She asked, handing the man his drink with one hand and wiping her hand on her jeans with the other.

"I'm serious."

"It's Howard… He's got a date." She sighed.

"Ah, who's it with?" He asked after a moment.

"Some girl called Susan – Lives at number 81!" She said in a mocking voice.
"Susan Sinclair?" Danny asked hesitantly.

"Dunno… Probably – Why? You know her?"

"Know her? She's a model and she's had more one night stands than you've have nights in pining after Howard."
"Smeg! – So she's the female equivalent of you?" She asked dejectedly.

"Not exactly. – She doesn't pay for dinner."

"Danny!" She moaned hitting him lightly on the arm.

"Sorry, If it makes you feel better I haven't slept with her." He smiled kissing her on the cheek before going and sitting at the coffee table with Bobby who had just walked in.

"Yes, but you haven't slept with me either… And neither has he…" She muttered under her breath to his departing back.

(Anyone get the sinclair ZX81 thingy? Not exactly the hardest refernce in the world but still...)