Disclaimer: Nope! I don't own owt - I'm just wrecking the characters for fun! If they were dead Grant and Naylor would be turning in their graves.
Well this is gettin messed up and I apologise for the lack of Lister/Rimmer in this chapter, more soon and eventually I plan to get more ahead in time than a few hours and get up different storylines and stuff. (Again - I'm real sorry for wrecking the wonderful characters, but review anyway please!)
"Hey baldy." Danny greeted as he slid into a chair opposite Bobby.
"I have a name you know." Bobby sighed, sipping at his drink and scanning the headlines in a newspaper.
"We all have names." Danny replied yawning.
"You want something?"
"Not really, just waiting for Anna to come in with my stuff." Danny replied as he got out a brush and began to restyle his hair.
"Anna your girlfriend then?" Bobby asked, not looking up from the article he was reading.
"God no, she said she'd help me move and I said I'd try and get her a modelling job." He explained laughing.
"What's so funny? Aren't you going to help her?"
"Baldy plastic surgery couldn't help her… I'll introduce you – You could really get along." He added flippantly.
"Oh thank you." Bobby replied sarcastically.
"No problem… Hey here she comes." Danny said as a woman laden with suitcases stumbled into the building.
"Aren't you gonna help her?" He asked as a subtle hint for Danny to sod off.
"Hey I don't do work." He protested matter of factly.
"But you have a modelling career!" Bobby pointed out, curiously trying to get a look at the woman who was still struggling with half of Danny's wardrobe.
"Hey I don't see me getting paid to flaunt my body about as work – More of a gift to the world!" He cried as he propped hid feet up on the coffee table.
"Right… My God! I can't believe you said you were going to set me up with her!" Bobby gasped as he caught sight of her drawn face and badly applied make up.
"You're right – She's way out of your league."
"Danny, can you watch the bar a moment? I just gotta… Go somewhere." Hattie called quickly as she dashed to the door, not waiting for a reply.
"And you should have seen the look on his face!" Susan cackled, her laughter filling up the restaurant as she leaned across the table, her bosom almost falling out of her dress.
"I'm so sorry I've been talking about myself all night." She drawled seductively.
"I don't mind…" Howard replied gulping.
"Well tell me more about yourself." She urged, flicking back her hair.
"Well I –" He began but was cut off before he could speak any further.
"Who's that bunch of retards you were hanging out with the other night when I passed on my way to a swimwear shoot?" She asked in a blatantly jealous tone.
"Excuse me?" Howard asked, choking on a piece of salad dressing.
"You heard!" She said icily.
"What's wrong with them?" He asked.
"Baby – what's right?"
"Look not that it's any of your business but they were my workmates – and friends, and a customer or two, you might know one of them – Danny Lion, I think he left to go to the same shoot."
"You know Danny?" She asked, giggling like a school child.
"Yeah but I kind of wish I didn't now."
"Look I'm only pulling your leg." She laughed giddily. Susan as looked up she saw Hattie enter the restaurant. "What I really want to know is who that girl was?" She asked quickly her tone changing once again, as her eyes flashed warnings at the nervous girl as she approached and stood behind Howard, her mouth open, her voice silent.
"What Hattie? She's just a work colleague." He dismissed taking a sip of his drink, not noticing the grin that was spreading across Susan's face, or the hurt look Hattie held as she dashed away.
"She's a great friend as well though, don't know what I'd do without her, not the best waitress in the world but she's made an impact in my life – And a good one at that." He continued, completely unaware of the events that had just taken place – As usual.
Susan watched as Hattie reached the doorway tat the far side of the room and turned clumsily, crashing into a waiter with a metal tray that crashed to the floor with a clatter. Hattie and Susan froze as he made to turn round but it was Susan who acted first, taking hold of him and kissing him deeply, her eyes glinting with success – She always wanted what others did, she didn't want Howard but why should she reject him without playing a few games first?
"I thought you didn't do work?" Bobby asked as he leaned against the bar chatting to Danny.
"I don't really see how standing around talking, occasionally pulling pints for beautiful ladies is work." He said smiling.
"Whatever man – And what about the partners of those beautiful ladies?" Bobby asked, nodding to a group of skinheads in the corners.
"Hey, I get girls phone numbers, piss off men and get recognised by people with style! – What could be better?" He asked rhetorically, waving at Anna as she lugged another case in through the bar.
"Woman asked me to give you this." She panted, wiping sweat from her face with her sleeve.
"Thanks." Danny said, trying to hide his distaste as he took the note. "See my charm works!" He grinned, waving the note in his face. Danny opened the note and skimmed it.
"Crap." He muttered scrunching up the note tightly in his hand. "ANNA! Tell Dave and Smeghead to get down here now!" He yelled as he legged it to the door.
"That good then?" Bobby wondered aloud to no one in particular.
"Hat?" Danny called as the cold winter air hit his face. "Come on Hat, you know what cold weather does to my skin." He moaned as she emerged from a nearby alley.
"I'm an idiot." She murmured as she wiped away her tears and with it her makeup.
"In what way?" He asked hesitantly, taking her in his arms gently.
"Everything." She cried.
"Not with EVERYTHING." He said biting his lip. "What happened?" He asked tentatively as he led her over to a bench.
"I went to see Howard."
"On his date with Susan? You're right – You are an idiot! Babe, you don't mess with her she eats girls like you for breakfast – Hell she'd eat you for every meal if it didn't screw up her carb diet!" He ranted, running a hand threw his hair.
"What he say?"
"Nothing… To me – She saw me; I think she knows who I am… She was loving it so much…" Hattie faltered, biting her lip, trying to keep calm.
"Loving what?"
"The look on my face as I stood behind Howard and heard him say I was 'just a work colleague' He doesn't care about me – He just sees me as hired help."
"Oh come on! You probably heard it out of context, and you've shared a flat for 2 years. And even if he doesn't want you in that way – So what? There's plenty of other guys and stuff." Danny pointed out softly.
"You're right – You're always right."
"I am? Wow – That's going in my top 10 achievements list." He smiled.
"You have an achievements list?" She asked incredulously.
"Yeah, and this is going in straight at number 3 – Just below 'Slept With Twins'"
"Thanks Danny – Like I really wanted to know about your personal life." She giggled.
"Hey – I have to hear your problems."
"Well sorry!"
"Hey you're shivering." He said as he took off his jacket and wrapped it round her shoulders.
"It looks good on you – Not as good as it does on me of course – But still good." Danny joked as he led her back into the pub.
"Thanks Dan." She muttered quietly.
"For what?"
"For caring."
"I don't care – I'm just after the free drinks." Danny smiled as Hattie burst out giggling.