Disclaimer: I don't own owt ok! God i've listened to the nice laywers this time!
Well here's another chapter! Yay you! Just want to point out that it is Howard to anyone who cares, just got mixed up with spelling at first and called him Harold in first chapter, And if no-one had noticed that... shit
Anyway read on and review, I am especially looking forward to Alex's reviews as she's always so cute and hyper and now she has TWO chapters to read! Also in two or 3 chapters she should expect a little homage...kinda...You'll see...Help... (Runs away to work on next chapter to see if can get it written and posted before 4am - Is now 2:30am)
Rimmer sighed and put down his Esperanto revision guide as someone began pounding on the front door. He waited for Lister to open it but he didn't.
"Lister? You want to live here – GET THE DOOR!" He yelled but got no response, sighing again he dragged himself from his bed and flew open the door and stalked into the living room to find no Lister but even more persistent knocking.
"What?" He hissed as he grasped the handle opening the door. Anna who had been leaning on the door kicking it with her foot fell forwards and the pair collapsed to the floor, Danny's cases falling all around them.
"God you aren't moving in as well are you?" Rimmer sighed as the person made to get off him.
"Nah – Danny said I help him – He'd help me get into modelling – He didn't tell me his roommates were so cute though!" She cried out in a strong Welsh accent, spraying spit all over Rimmer in the process.
"Me… Cute?" Rimmer asked in shock. "Is this a wind up?"
"Nah hun – You got all that!" She said, standing up and helping him to his feet.
"Errr hi – I'm Arnold." He said timidly whilst screaming 'AHHHHHHH ABORT! ABORT!' in his mind.
"Anna." She smiled, bending to pick up a case.
'Oh dear lord – Am I that desperate?' Rimmer asked himself as he looked at the female creature in front of him.
"Eck." He kind of squeaked, as next thing he knew he was been thrust into the wall. That was then he knew – He could never be THAT desperate!
As he thought this Lister came strolling through the open doorway with another box.
"Get a…Ewwwwww!" He exclaimed laughing.
"Lister please god come and join us!" Rimmer begged, finally managing to detangle himself from the octopus formally known as Anna.
"See ya later - Lover!" She said storming out due to Lister's sudden appearance, deciding to occupy herself with the task of another furniture juggle with Danny's stuff.
"Thank GOD you arrived Lister – I never want to go through that again!" Rimmer panted sitting on one of Danny's cases, his head in his hands.
"Whatever man but with your looks was it really right to turn down a definite shag?." Lister smirked as he sat down on the settee and began to strum his guitar.
"She's outta my eyes," He sang badly to an out of tune chord.
"Come back Anna – All is forgiven!" Rimmer moaned.
"Don't diss man! – This is the first song I ever learnt to play." Lister protested.
"The term 'learnt' being used loosely here." Rimmer scoffed as he became calmer.
"Whatever." Lister muttered, preparing to start again.
"Lister you play that guitar again and our time together as roommates will be short." Rimmer threatened.
"You mean you'll move out if I keep playing my guitar?" Lister asked hopefully.
"No Lister, you will – In a body bag."
"Ooooooooh! I'm so scared!" Lister cried in a falsetto voice, turning to the toaster (which he as of yet had not turned on) Please save me from the big nasty man with the crappy hair!" Lister then turned and ran into Rimmer knocking them both to the floor.
"Lister!" Rimmer yelled irritably at the younger man.
"Oh mister – You're so mean! – But I like it!" He sang goofily.
"Look hun – You could have just told me you batted for the other team." Said Annie from the doorway, putting down more stuff with a thump. The two men jumped away from each other hurriedly, Rimmer especially embarrassed.
"No skin off my nose love." She said, wiping her face with a sweat stained handkerchief.
"Think you'll find it's already peeling." Lister muttered to Rimmer under his breath. Despite the childishness and the fact Rimmer hated Lister, he still found himself sniggering, though immediately stopped as her eyes bore into him, making him feel about as tall as one of the laboratory mice back on Red Dwarf.
Anna made a 'tsk' noise and left.
"Oh god – Think she'll be back?" Rimmer moaned.
"With Danny's stuff? We gotta a lot more trips to go." Lister warned.
"Oh smeg.
"She's kind of like a young version of my grandmother really." Lister announced after a moment.
"Is she welsh?"
"God no – Anna also looks like the kind of person who would head butt the headmaster." Lister explained.
"Your grandma head butted the head teacher?" Rimmer asked incredulously.
"Yeah – When I came bottom in French."
"Well that makes perfect sense." Rimmer scoffed.
"Smeg she's coming back!" Lister cried, the pair dashing to Rimmer's room and shutting the door.
"Errr Lister?" Rimmer asked in that way he did when asking questions. "Your room is down the hall, which begs the question – WHY are you in here?"
"Come on man, I'd have made it before she got here."
"I thought you said she was like your grandmother?"
"Doesn't mean I want to be in her presence when she thinks I'm having a gay relationship with the resident smeghead!" Lister defended sitting on Rimmer's bed.
"Oh and been in my room is really going to – Resident WHAT?"
Howard and Susan walked down the street lit road, Howard reminiscing about the kiss, and Susan reminiscing about on the look on that bitch's face. They reached the front door to Susan's apartment, and Howard leaned in to kiss her.
"What do you think you're doing?" She demanded, folding her arms.
"But?..." He trailed off, confused.
"Don't you 'But' me – In any sense of the word! Goodnight! – And please, don't call!" She added as she let herself in and slammed the door.
Howard blinked and began to wander back to the pub – women were scary!
Susan smiled as she thought over the evening's events – It was fun messing with people's minds and wrecking relationships – It was an original hobby – And if the guy was hot – Two in one!
She skipped up the stairs, her recent conquest already forgotten as she began to plan how to capture Danny Lion, a man who had been playing on her mind for a while – For someone who seemed to have had a woman on very street – often more than one he was a very slippery guy to get – But she would – She always did…