Author's Note: this chapter is written by Tang a.k.a. cerzee. The next one will be Kruup's creation. Hope you still want to read it after reading mine, because Kruup is much funnier and better writer than me.

Disclaimer: We don't own JK's characters, though we wouldn't mind. The titles are from different songs by Gorillaz, an amazing band.

King's Cross, platform nine and three quarters was crowded as hell. Shrieking and extremely irritated owls locked in their cages, the students saying good-bye to their families, old friends greeting each other, voices loud in excitement. It was September the first in 1976 and Hogwarts express was about to depart. The young wizards and witches hurried on the train, two 17-year-old boys among them.

One had shoulder-length dark hair and very handsome features. Many passing girls smiled to him and when he acknowledged them with a blink or a slight nod, they blushed and giggled together with their girlfriends.

The other lad had black extremely messy hair and round glasses. He was a bit shorter and skinnier, but still looked quite impressive. He didn't seem to notice the girls at all; instead he was eagerly searching for someone in the crowd.

The taller boy saw a couple coming towards them. A black haired woman in her thirties and a bit older man who was carrying an overstuffed suitcase with a few socks tangling out.

"Oy! Your parents are here!" he said, nudging his oblivious friend with an elbow. "Thanks, Mr Potter," he said, taking the trunk and putting it into his trolley. The bespectacled boy's mother sighed and glanced them both suspiciously.

"Got your luggage? Owls? Good. Well, you should go now. And don't get into trouble! Merlin knows that the letter I got last year gave me a few early grey hair. What were you thinking, turning every single slytherin into a puffskein? Gosh! They could've expelled you." She turned to the taller boy. "Siri, could you keep an eye on James? I don't want him to ruin his chances only a few months before graduation."

"Yeah, sure he would, if he wasn't busy preparing his next prank himself!" her son said, laughing.

"Oh, shut it! Of course I will, Mrs Potter! I'll keep him away from trouble, even if I have to use desperate means such as pitchforks, whips and Snape's underwear." His friend hissed and pretended to be backing away.

"You wouldn't dare!"

"Oh yes I would!"

"Well, it's not exactly what I had in mind," Mrs Potter said, smilingly. "But use whatever you want, as long as it works, dear."

"Oy! Mum! I'm your son, remember? You should be defending me!"

"Maybe she's sorry she has such a whiny little wuss for a son?" Sirius suggested.

"Who are you calling a wuss, you little miss goody-goody-two-shoes?" James demanded, grabbing his friend by his jacket.

"Knock it off, boys! The train is leaving!" Mr Potter yelled. Both Potters grabbed a few suitcases and started running towards the already whistling train. The boys followed them, throwing their luggage in and jumping on the moving train. They stood on the door, waving farewell until they lost sight of the couple they both had for parents. Then they went in search for their "other half", Remus and Peter. They had already checked about half of the compartments when they heard angry voices and saw various colours flashing from an opened door. They exchanged glances and rushed towards it.

"Having fun?" James asked, chuckling. The sight was worth to see. Severus Snape, a skinny pale nerd from Slytherin was trying to hex Remus, who had grown quite tall by the summer. He didn't seem to succeed, though. Remus was dodging too quickly and blessed his opponent with equal amount of curses. Peter, in the other hand, was struggling to defend himself from another Slytherin boy whom Sirius instantly recognized as his little brother Regulus. Peter's face was covered with revolting yellow boils and was constantly hit with some sort of electric shocks the other boy cast with a lazy flick of his wand. Sirius rushed to them, pointing his wand at his despised sibling.

"Relashio!"

Regulus got hit by fiery sparks causing his clothes and hair to burst into flames. He ran out, screaming. Sirius had a devil grin on his face. Snape looked at him and the elder Black boy looked back. Severus raised his wand as did Sirius and the time seemed to stop for about ten seconds. Then James lost his nerve and shouted: "Mulier In Rufus Ornatus!"

Snape's school robes were instantly replaced with a red knee-length cocktail dress and matching high-heeled shoes.

"You're going to pay for that one, Potter!" he yelled, hitting the gryffindor with his elegant scarlet purse and marching out of the compartment. The Marauders laughed except for Sirius, who seemed like Christmas had come four months earlier. James looked at his friend with a confused look on his face.

"Why the hell didn't you curse him when you had a chance?" he asked Sirius. The other boy didn't answer at first, helping up Peter, who had collapsed on the floor, twitching from the aftershocks of Regulus's spell.

"Well, I thought I'd leave good old Snivellus to you and you sure did a remarkable job with him. Hey, did you see dear little Reggie storm out? Merlin, what a sight! A pleasant way to start a new year, eh guys?" Sirius said, changing the subject.

"Um, not really!" said Peter. Remus stood in front of him, mumbling a spell and waving his wand, making the ugly yellow ulcers disappear. James eyed Sirius suspiciously, but didn't say anything. Then he looked at Remus. The lycanthrope looked quite healthy considering his illness. He was tanned and the dark circles around his eyes were gone. He had also grown a goat beard, which made him look older than any of them. 'Wait a minute!' he thought. 'Remus with a beard?'

"Moony! What's that thing doing on your face?"

"What? Oh, you mean the beard? I thought it'd make me look more... you know… grown-up. Why? Is it that bad?"

"Um… no, just never thought you cared about your appearance that much." James said.

"Moony? You wouldn't be trying to impress a girl, would you, old boy?" Sirius asked Remus, exchanging amused looks with James.

"Not really, but hey, I wouldn't mind it!" He sat on one of the seats, sighing in content.

"Guys, we're finally going back to Hogwarts! And we are seventh years now. Think of the possibilities!" Everyone's eyes widened.

"What's gotten into you, Moony? First you fight Snivellus using a few quite nasty jinxes and now you look forward to pulling pranks and night time wanderings!" James said, sounding quite approving. Remus smiled.

"It's not like Snivellus got hit by them, right? He's a bastard, but a fast one. And he started it!" he said with an angel face.

"What happened here anyway?" Sirius asked.

"Well, we were just putting away our trunks when Snivellus strode in with your little brother on his heels." Peter explained. "Funny, he seemed a bit disappointed when he saw that there were just the two of us and he asked what happened to the rest of our disgraceful herd. Remus jumped up and pointed his wand at the damned bloke and they started to fight. Then Regulus attacked me. And you know the rest."

"They can't even wait until the feast has ended?" James asked. "Well if it's war they want, it's war they get!" Everyone mumbled in agreement. Sirius stood up.

"Excuse me, gentlemen, I have to go to the loo." He left the compartment, but instead of going to the boy's room, he started looking into the compartments again. Just as he shut the door of another one their classmates from Ravenclaw had occupied, he saw Severus standing next to him, once again in his black robes and extremely angry.

"We need to talk. Now!" Sirius knew better than not to obey. Severus wasn't someone to push around. It was he who pushed the others around.

"Where?"

"There's an empty compartment over there." He led the way and held the door open for Sirius. The gryffindor stepped in. Severus closed the door and stood in front of him, looking at him silently, his eyes speaking of disappointment and anger. Then, without a word, he slapped the other boy on his cheek.

"How dare you treat me like worthless garbage?"

"What are you talking about, sugar quill?" Sirius asked, surprised.

"Don't you sugar quill me, woman! You made a promise and apparently you didn't keep it! Why else did they attack me?"

"Hey! You were the one who called us 'a disgraceful herd'!"

"I wanted to test them, to know if you told them or not. Apparently you didn't!" Severus spat.

"Come on, honey, I didn't want to write about such a matter! And as I recall, you reached them earlier than I did!"

"You could've told Potter! You stayed at his place for the whole summer! And even if you couldn't, wasn't it the best moment for telling them about us? You just had to ruin it! Why did you have to set Regulus on fire?"

"Because he was torturing my friend! Hell, bitch, don't you come accusing me while looking for trouble yourself before even reaching Hogwarts!" Sirius yelled.

"I see it now. You cherish your friends more than you do me. Well, guess what, there are plenty of boys looking for a nice, healthy relationship with loving and tender man like me! If you can't get over your embarrassment and tell your friends about your feelings for me, fine! I'll find someone who will treat me with true love and respect."

"No, Severus, don't! I'll tell them! I'll do anything! Please, don't leave me, sugar quill, not after what we've shared!"

"It's over, Sirius. We were not meant to be. I guess we should turn back to old hating and bloodletting relationship now."

"Severus, please! I even put on the underwear you gave me! Don't you want to see me in those little pink panties?" Sirius said with a tempting voice.

"You did?" Severus whispered huskily. Then he shook his head to clear his mind and went to the door, stopping before opening it and looking back at the broken boy kneeling on the floor.

"No, Siri. We're done. Maybe I should seduce your little brother? He didn't seem to need much coaxing!"

"NO! Not Regulus! That's not fair! He always got the goodies!"

"Well, maybe he deserved them more than you did?" Severus offered. "Good bye, Sirius Black!" With that he went out, leaving the gryffindor alone. He sat there, shocked.

'Severus didn't just dump me. I was not abandoned by a slytherin who prefers my own brother! Oh fuck it! Well, Snivellus, I'll get over you. And I'll pay you back, so beware!'

He went back to his friends, intending to have a good time despite his 'little encounter' with Severus.

Author's notes: Well, enough of me. Let's all hope that Kruup will update soon!

Tang