Disclaimer: Give me some money 'cause I'm playing the guitar, without money I can't go far! Anyway I own nothing.
( Warning! May contain Graphic Mary Sue behavior! Read with caution!)
Barbie. "It does not!"
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Chapter 8 ( I think?)
Portrait: A room is full of LOTR characters and Frodo is reading the last chapter out loud to them. He come to a sentences and stops, he looks up at Snodgrass and says "Fordo? What is it with all these typo's and meaningless sentences?"
Snodgrass rolls his dreamy blue eyes and says " Sorry but I was busy at the time."
" Doing what ?" as Frodo suspiciously. (Winkle hides under the couch.)
" E-baying." was the answer.
" For what?"
" Suits! Of course and I found a real beauty for Winkle it's green polyester!"
Everyone winches and Haldir shudders at the thought. Snodgrass leaves the room and returns a second later clad in a orange and purple striped suit.
Everyone: "Arghhhhhhh!"
Snodgrass looking smug: " I 'll wager you've never seen the like of this suit before!"
Haldir: " No and I wish I never had, my poor elven eyes!"
Snodgrass: " Party pooper!"
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Chapter 8
Lorien and the booby prize.
Barbara's POV.
We had just lost Gandalf. All we had been able to do when the Balrog appeared was run, and think about it later. But when we finally escaped Moria's darkness, I couldn't really believe he was dead. The hobbits were hanging onto me like little children, and I couldn't even cry. I seemed to be watching it happen, almost dispassionately, as if I had no connection with it.
I thought something must be wrong with me. Somehow I think I expected that somehow he would show up again, flourishing that ridiculous staff, floppy hat slumped to one side. When it finally hit me that he was gone, I realized that I was crying, hot tears running down my face and dampening Pippin's hair. Today had just been too much, and it was a relief to have a vent for all the emotions that had been smothered under the all important need for survival. I thought" Gandalf's coming back. I know that." But there it didn't actually seem real there, more like a fairy tale made to comfort the hobbits, who were taking it harder than anyone else. Pippin especially blamed himself, though Merry vainly tried to assure him it wasn't his fault.
Emily was off by herself, face buried in her hands, not making a sound, but her shoulders were shaking. Boromir was standing by, as if he wished he could do something, but she obviously wanted to be alone.
"We must be moving on, these hills will be teeming with orcs by nightfall." This was from Mr. Reality Ranger, and here I did something I regret now, but then I couldn't help. Now I realize he was also dealing with his own grief, but he now felt responsible for all of us.
"Would you- shut up!" I choked out, a ragged sob dividing my vehement words. But we all began to figuratively "dust ourselves off" and get ready to leave. And all I could feel was gladness at leaving that cursed place. And I think we all felt the same way.
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Emily's POV
I can't think, I don't see my surroundings, I can't feel my right arm from the elbow down. I am so tired that nothing is important. I walk on like a automaton, it's like waiting for something so long that you lose hope. Only continuing in the vain hope that something, someone will stop you.
Night falls, and Aragorn urges us on faster toward the wide green forest in the valley before us. I help keep the hobbits awake on their feet and struggle to do so myself. We have been jogging and walking in turns since we got out of the hell hole of Moria. Finally it gets to where the hobbits are falling over in exhaustion and we have to carry them, Aragorn with Frodo, Boromir has Pippin and Merry is on Legolas's back. Sam is still manfully trying to carry on by himself.
Barbara and I hold on to each other to keep moving and Gimli pokes us every few minutes to make us we're not falling sleep. He has been totally quiet since we left Moria and that's strange because he's usually complaining about something.
The day dawns bright and beautiful but cold. It is after all late October and we pull our coats and cloaks around ourselves a bit tighter. The forest is almost upon us on and Aragorn urges us into a run now. This has the combined effect of warming us and getting there just a little faster. I can see the desire to be in Lothlorien's borders shining in the Ranger's eyes.
" Hurry we're almost there!" he calls and I decide now is the time to put my little plan into action.
" Aragorn, um… can Barb and I catch you up later? I think we 'd like to stop."
" Stop? Oh.. Very well, but don't wait long to follow us." he said a pink tinge on his weathered cheeks. " We'll be heading for that little rise of trees."
" Okay thanks." I said and held Barbie back as the rest of the group went by. I whispered to her what I had in mind and she nodded to weary to care either way. I watched the Fellow ship disappear into the tree line and then headed for the nearby river.
" I can't believe we 're doing this." muttered Barb as she came beside me.
" I can, the Galadhrim are having enough trouble with the Fellowship and I thought we'd be polite and wait for them to come and welcome us in. Besides we need to clean up something fierce."
" I just want to curl up in a nice warm bed and sleep forever. I don't care if I look like a baboon."
" You will when you meet the Lord and Lady looking like you rolled in a manure pile. Beside what would Legolas think?"
She shrugged " He knows what we went through and so will the Celeborn and Galadriel. I doubt that they'll really care."
I went on anyway and began washing off the first layer of dirt. The water was icy cold but the soapy smell and feel of suds was so welcome. I hadn't thought to bring shampoo worse luck but bar soap works the same way. Barbie came and dunked her whole head into the river and came u grasping and sputtering.
" That water is sooo cold, man it feels good!" she said and took the soap and scrubbed up until her tanned cheeks glowed a rosy pink.
I wrung out what was left of my hair as best I could and laid back down on the bank. The sun filtered through the trees and made lacy patterns over everything. I watched a little squirrel hop from branch to branch, and heard Barb humming under her breath as she re-braided her hair.
I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew was that I was being carried in someone's arms and I didn't know them. I did what all Mary Sue's never do, I shrieked and wiggled around until I was dropped roughly to the ground. I was up in a second and realized that I was surrounding by tall blond and red haired elves. Great, I had been so dignified !
One of them stepped forward and said " Forgive me if we startled you Lady Emily but your sister said not to wake you."
I looked at him and saw that I knew him, he was one of Haldir's brothers, Orophin or Rumil I wasn't sure which.
" Oh, I was just surprised that's all. I ….where is Barbara? "
Barbie stepped out from behind the elf and smiled hugely " Right here!" she stepped forward and clapped Rumil/ Orophin on the back and said " This here is Orophin and he's been sent to recover us from the hole we fell in, right?" She looked at the elf.
He smiled back and said " That was not quite how Lord Aragorn put it but yes we were sent for you. I think you would prefer to walk on Lady Emily?"
I looked at the elf, he was friendly! I had always thought of them as aloof and serious but this guy( can you really call an elf a guy?) was really nice!
" Yes, thanks where is Lord Aragorn right now?"
" He and the Fellowship are on their way to meet the Lord and Lady but they await your arrival, so we had better start."
He gestured to the path and I saw for the first time the elves who were waiting. They were all tall and dressed in the tan and black uniform of the Galadhrim. They nodded and smiled back, maybe they were nicer to us because we were girls. Or maybe my plan had worked and they liked it that we had waited to be invited.
" Can you look at my arm first? It's …well there's something wrong with it." I held out my arm wrapped in a worn out looking bandage. A concerned expression crossed his face and he came forward and examined it and carefully removed the bandage. He called to one of the other elves and they carried on a conversation in beautiful elvish. It was the first time we had really heard a it spoken because Legolas and Aragorn always spoke in Westron.
The red haired elf brought out clean bandages and a pot of something that smelled totally vile. It was a sickly green color. Orophin spoke up " Lady Emily, this will sting a little but should take care of any infection until a doctor can look at it."
I nodded and wondered at his use of the word " doctor " but forgot it when the elf spread that nasty stuff along the cut on my arm.
" Agghhhhhh!" It was horrible!
" It burns us! It freezes!" I screamed. It felt like they were pouring rubbing alcohol over my arm. It hadn't hurt until then and it was terrible. My screams seemed not to bother the elves but Barbie did her best to shut me up.
" Emily! Shut up you're making a fool of yourself!"
" It hurts!" I wailed.
" I don't care shut up or I'll..I'll tell Boromir that you're madly in love with him!"
That shut me up, only letting a whimper out here and there. I didn't want Barbie to do something so stupid. I wasn't in love with Boromir, I liked him sure but he was in his forties for lord's sake!
Soon we were on our way and my arm hung in a little sling made from my belt. It hurt like the dickens now but I think that's better then not feeling it at all. In about an hour we saw the Fellowship ahead and we ran to meet them.
" Where have you two been, we were really worried!" cried Pippin as he hugged Barbie. I got the same thing from Merry and Sam, and a look from Boromir that made me feel so ashamed as if I had done something really bad.
Just then a figure dropped down lightly from the trees and strode forward speaking rapidly in elvish. He was very tall and white blond hair that fell-no, flowed- to his shoulders. He was perfect and broad shouldered. It was the Marchwarden, it was Haldir!
He came up and said " We must be going, would you please follow me?" He stopped when he saw us girls. I looked up and said the first stupid thing that came to mind.
" You're so handsome!"
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Barbie's POV.
"Oh---My---God."
I have said some fairly stupid things in life, but the award for the most idiotic thing to say at the worst possible time goes to my darling older sister. Haldir opened his mouth, as if about to say something, then shut it, all the while looking extremely confused. Then he did something I never thought possible. He blushed, turning a delicate pink all over, even his ears, finally saying awkwardly "Thank you my Lady," and then whirled away as fast as possible, speaking with Aragorn, who nodded in agreement with whatever he said, too dumbfounded to really listen.
Meanwhile, the reality of what she had said hit Emily, and she gasped, in a mortified way, and turned fiery red.
I could only stare at her, mouth hanging slightly open, until a thought came to me. What about-about-oh God-what about Boromir? He was standing there, ramrod straight, eyes steadily fixed forward, as if he had just witnessed something very painful. When we finally set forward into Lothlorien, he stayed away as far as possible from both of us, face as set as stone.
"Emily how could you! And right in front of him too!" I whispered, walking beside her. Her face was also tragically pale, as if she was still in shock.
"Barb," she said steadily "If ever I lecture you about not keeping your mouth shut, kindly whisper "Marchwarden" in my ear, and I will be infinitely obliged to you." And that was all she said during the entire trek into Lothlorien.
But whether or not my elder sister had made a fool-of-a-Took of herself, I couldn't help admiring the Lothlorien. The leaves were really and truly a shimmering gold, making soft scraping noises as a fall breeze brushed through them. And the trees themselves-wow.
They reached far into the sky, their proud heads seemingly thrown up into the clouds themselves, watching the tiny figures walk below them like ants. These trees were thousands upon thousands of years old, and even elves must have seemed young to them.
"No wonder Hal-no wonder the elves love it so," I breathed.
"Aye," agreed Legolas. His language had, up until now, been fairly modern, but among his own kind he seemed to relax, and I had heard him speaking elvish with Aragorn. " I have heard many tales of its wonders, but have never seen them until now."
Then Haldir spoke up
"Caras Galadhon, the heart of elvendom on earth. Realm of the Lord Celeborn and of Galadriel, Lady of Light."( well, somebody's got a crush on the Lady!)
You could feel the love in his voice as he said this, and I felt sentimental, until I thought of something, and giggled. I turned to face the hobbits, and waved an imperious hand eastward.
"And that," I said dramatically "Is the outside world. Blargh." I thought I heard a stifled snort from Aragorn, but dismissed the notion as impossible. Then I looked before me, and all feeling of amusement left me.
It was( ahem) The Tree.
We were going to meet "Them."
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Emily's POV
Okay, I get the booby prize for the worlds stupidest girl. Let it end there please!
The walk up those long winding stairs had everyone who was not a rugged ranger or elf was gasping for breath by the time we reached the top. My calves were screaming and I think everyone else's were too. There were 243 steps, I thought you would all like to know that.
Anyway, we reached the top and on all the surrounding talans there were bow armed Galadhrim, I got the feeling that they didn't trust us. ( What do you think?) As he reached the top Haldir bowed casually to someone and as we all filed into place I saw them. In a rain of light two majestic figures came toward us.
They joined hands and floated down the stairs to where we stood. You couldn't see them clearly at all, the light was too bright but us they neared the light dimmed and there they were.
Portrait: Galadriel, is soooo pretty! Her eyes are her most striking feature and are a clear blue that is alive with a white fire. No wonder we were afraid to look at her. She is like a willow in her tall and slender frame, but a thin as a rail.( Can elves be anorexic?) She emitted a gentle strength and looked down at us with a kind of humble superiority. I looked for her ring but the long sleeves of her dress covered her hands.
Portrait: Celeborn the Wise. He is the least appreciated elf in all of the books. And I had always liked him, and thought him too cool in the movie but the living breathing elf is like…whoa! He was as tall as Haldir but he was like a general in expression. His face stern, and in his eyes I saw the ages of wisdom that I had heard about. His silver hair and icy blue eyes were piercing and I couldn't look at him. Every inch the manly ..er…..elf.
To see the pair of them standing together was awful, they were like the trees in Valinor the silver and gold mingling and lighting the area of the talan. It's impressive when your hosts provide their own light! How can I describe how they really were? Would you believe me if I told you that Celeborn had a kind of silvery light that emitted from him? And that Galadriel really does shine with the radiance of gold? They did.
"Eight there are here, yet nine there were set out from Rivendell. Tell me, were is Gandalf, for I much desire to speak with him?" said Celeborn after a moment.
Then followed the lengthy conversation where Legolas told about going to Moria and Galadriel rebuked Celeborn. She was the only one who was going too, because we were all too afraid of him anyway. I could see that by the looks on their faces when Galadriel spoke to each of the Nine companions.
I honestly don't think she noticed us girls, it wasn't like we set out from Rivendell with them. Heck, Celeborn didn't even mention us when he first addressed the group. I guess he knew we weren't part of the Fellowship and were only two Mary Sues' tagging along for the kicks.
But then the Fellowship was ushered out by Haldir and a few burly guards and there we were, two dirty human girls and two very clean and powerful elves. We just watched each other for a moment, Galadriel went up to Barbara and touched the necklace that had escaped her collar.
" I see you still bear the Grace of Prince Legolas . It brings you great comfort." she said.
" Yes, I'm going to give it back soon. I mean, I know that I can't keep it." Barbie said looking up at the Queen.
" And your wound? Does it continue to bring you pain, I feared the pain would be too great for you to withstand."
" It hurts a little now and then, but otherwise I am fine, My lady"
" You are a brave young woman and Frodo can thank you for saving his life. But your time is short here and you must learn how to use it to constructively. But this is not the time to speak of it. You have one fault, and that is your weak eyes, my healers will see that you need these no longer." And she laid one perfect finger lightly on the rim of Barbara's glasses.
" T--thank you My Lady." she whispered and glanced at me with a grin the size of Kansas on her face.
Celeborn came to me and said " I see that you are wounded, I have much to speak to you about. However your physical well being take precedence. I will summon Haldir to escort you."
" No! I mean ,could Orophin do it instead?" I asked fearing to look either of them in the face. And then something happened that just shouldn't, they both smiled and Galadriel gave a delicate little laugh!
" I think that could be arranged." said Celeborn kindly. He nodded to one of the stony faced guards who disappeared down the stairs.
" I trust that you will take all the rest you require and worry not about the Fellowship for they will be well cared for. I perceive that you are not accustomed to this pace and should sleep. Come, Orophin is here and will take you to the Healers." said Celeborn pushing us gently toward the smiling elf who awaited us.
We went down the steps which was a whole lot easier and I finally got up the courage to ask him a question.
" Um…. Orophin? Was Haldir angry about what I said? I was not thinking when I said that.
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Barb's POV.
Orophin laughed heartily at Emily's tentative question.
"No, I think he was-um-more surprised than anything. It is not exactly customary for young ladies to-ah- tell the Marchwarden that they-oh that was just priceless!" Towards the end of his sentence, Orophin broke down completely, laughing hysterically, and having to stop for breath.
"Excuse me-ha, ha-that was just too funny. I haven't seen my brother blush like that for-oh my-hundreds of years," he gasped. Finally he managed to stop, only an occasional snicker escaping him. I was hard put to keep a straight face myself, but under Emily's murderous looks, I managed to restrain myself.
" Is that the healers hou-talan?" I asked, as we approached one of the trees. It was one of the smaller ones, with not so many steps. I suppose that was for conveniences sake. If someone had a broken leg you wouldn't want to lug them up five thousand million steps.
"Yes." said Orophin, and just turning to look at Emily and me set him off again. While he was struggling to control himself, I wondered if the healers really could help me with my poor eyesight. Without my glasses I am practically blind, and the poor spectacles were bent and scratched from the encounter in Moria. And if they ever broke completely, visiting an optometrist was not an option.
The healers turned out to be an elven couple (and yes, you sickos out there, that means a male and a female!). The husband was red haired with a very friendly smile, and his wife had very pale hair and such a gentle face that I did not feel afraid of her at all. Orophin conversed with him for awhile, and then the husband turned to us.
"Hello, I am Galdor Arfeinel, and this is my wife, Haerowen. I take care of all the gory wounds and such, and she takes care of all the more delicate matters, so I suppose you're my patient," he said to Emily, with all the joviality of all doctors who then put a spoon in your mouth and tell the nurses to hold you down.
"Yeah, I suppose so," said Emily with a nervous laugh. Haerowen had taken me aside, and tilting my chin up, looked deep into my eyes, and then told me to wait on a chair she pointed out. Meanwhile, Galdor was keeping up a running commentary on everything. First he unwrapped Emily's arm, and then looked at it closely, then tossed the bandage away dismissively, saying scornfully
"I suppose Rumil or Orophin put this on you right?"
"Yes," said Emily apprehensively.
"I knew it. They're are too nice for their patients good," he said, unwrapping some clean bandages and selecting a small bottle from a large selection on the table.
"Nice! That stuff hurt like-never mind- what's that?' asked Emily.
" Yes, this is going to hurt." he said, answering her real, but unspoken, question. He tipped the bottle, and poured a generous amount on the bandage.
"Now hold still honey," he said. ( I still can't believe he said honey) and with a swift movement he wrapped it around her arm and pinned it in place. Emily was screaming like a banshee the whole time, but he didn't seem to care.
While the echoes were slowly dying away, Haerowen approached me, carrying another evil looking bottle full of some whitish, cloudy stuff.
"Is that going to hurt?" I asked. I wasn't about to have liquid hell poured into MY eyes.
"No, you need have no fear of that." she said, and uncorked it with a soft thu-pop.
"Put your head back, and don't move," she said. I obeyed, still a bit worried. Orophin had told Emily that poultice he gave her would just "sting" and her screams then had definitely said the opposite.
Slowly she poured some into my eyes, and I blinked instinctively, trying to wipe away the dull cloud that spread over my vision. It didn't hurt, but it was cold.
"Now, hold still for five minutes," she ordered. I had to, or that-stuff-would have run down my face, and then down my neck, then under my collar and---I amused myself by thinking of all the horrors of that possibility.
Then Highrowan was back, and placed a towel in my hand, and said that I might wipe it off. I leaned forward, burying my face in it's soft folds. Wow it smelled good. Like-flowers.
When I looked up again though, I had a mild panic attack.
"Akh! I can't see anything!" I said frantically.
"Hold still, I'm going to take care of that," she said sternly, and I did. Then something wet, and very sticky was put in my eyes, which-she said-would take a good ten minutes to take effect. I could hear Galdor still talking in the background, and from what he said he had apparently taken off the demon bandage to look at Em's arm more closely.
"You know my dear, I think our little Edain girl's had a tendon nicked here," he said, and I felt the brush of skirts as Highrowan went to look at it. After awhile, she said
"Well, I can see that you're not going to be swinging a sword any time soon." Then I heard Emily gasp through her teeth as the demon bandage was put back on, and Haerowen was back by my side.
"Now I'm going to rinse out your eyes this time so put that towel around your neck so it doesn't get down your dress," she said. I did so, and felt a gush of warm( thank God) water run down my face and soak the handy towel. A little somehow got into my nose, and I coughed and choked a few moments. When I opened my eyes again, I blinked a little in surprise.
"Wow! Everything's so-clear!" I said, not really believing it myself.
"Of course it is!" said Galdor "You should expect nothing short of magic from the two best healers in the Golden Wood."
"Well, this is magic for me!" I said. "This is so cool!"
Orophin had somehow appeared again, and he said gravely ( seemed he finally calmed down)
"I will escort you to the talan that has been provided for the both of you."
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Emily's POV
Our talan was large and spacious, we had a main room, a bedroom with two beds and a bathroom that held a huge tub. As quickly as we could we both bathed and crawled into our pj's. I worked out the tangles in Barbara's hair and ran a comb through my own short mane.
I had looked into the mirror and decided that mirror's weren't very nice things after all. We curled up on our beds but sleep eluded me, here I was in Caras Galadhon and sleeping in a real elvish bed.
" Barb?"
" Yeah?"
" Can you believe it! We here! And now you can see without your glasses too!"
" I know and just can't sleep! I 've never been so tired before and I can't for the life of me sleep."
" I know what say we sit on the porch for a while. Orophin said the Fellowship wasn't far from here and I would like to see them."
So we crept quietly and sat in our jammies, Barbie in her big "Sprint PCS" shirt and I in my purple " Sweet Dreams" jammie shirt.
" It's so beautiful here, I can understand why they fight to keep it safe. I hate the thought of leaving here." said Barbie looking around with her "new" eyes.
" Let's not think about anything but this moment and imprint it on our memories shall we?"
" Okay, I 've never been so calm and so jumbled up inside before."
" Happiness is whatever you want it to be." I teased.
" Oh no corny song coming up!"
"They say happiness is a thing you can't see, a thing you can't touch, I disagree. Happiness is standing beside me, I can see him he can see me. Happiness is whatever you want it to be!" I sang
" They say happiness is the folly of fools, pity poor me one of the fools. Happiness is smiling upon me, walking my way, sharing my day."
Barbara rolled her eyes and sighed, she didn't think it was corny any more then I did. Something about Caras Galadhon just made you want to sing.
" Happiness is a bright star, are we happy? Yes, we are! Happiness is a clear sky, give me wings and let me fly! Let me fly. For happiness is whatever you want it to be."
"Emily, do you think Boromir really likes you?" asked Barbie
I shrugged feeling the heat of a blush on my face " I don't know and you should have had more sense than to bring it up to the poor man."
" I think he likes you, I mean really."
" Barb, he's way older than me."
" He's still a better man then you'll find any where, besides think of all the fan girls who would give the world for what you've got!"
" I haven't "got" anything stupid, I'm sure you're wrong anyway. Now what should I sing, I really feel like it tonight."
"Well…" she mused " How about " The Love Is Gone?"
"No"
" Why not?"
"Just, no"
" Ohhhhh! Emily does like Boromir and she's just embarrassed to say so! I knew it!" she stood up and called out over Caras Galadhon.
" EMILY SAYS SHE LIKES BORO…muffsigle!"
I had hit her in a flying tackle that would make any Football fan proud. I covered her mouth at the last minute and hissed " You Judas! I'll get you for that you little ……marsh wiggle!"
She "wiggled" away and sat up laughing " I knew it, why don't you just say something to him?"
" I will say this, I'm going to bed." and I turned and flopped unceremoniously onto my soft, soft bed.
Still giggling she did the same and even when I thought she was a sleep a few giggles would erupted from her side of the room.
Slowly and certainly sleeps tricky fingers skipped over our eyes and we slept.
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Samwise Gamgee's POV
Everyone is asleep now and only the mournful lament of the elves fills the silence. I watched Frodo go after the Lady but I did not follow. I know that she wants to speak to him alone, and I do not fear her. When she spoke to me in my head I didn't know where to look. She praised me for remaining true in heart and mind to Frodo. The ring has never drawn me, I can't explain why.
I relax into my blankets again and feel the soothing calm of the place roll over me. The ground is soft in Lothlorien, though it did give me a start when I found arrows in my face. Here we were walking along minding our own business trying to think where the girls had gone when boom there the elves were. I tell you as long as I live I won't forget it.
When we finally got the girls back they looked better, cleaner I mean. I don't know how girls manage to always find ways to stay clean! But Emily looked tired and thinner I think, it's been had for all of us. Especially with Gandalf gone now. Poor Gandalf.
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Super Secret Notice: "I, Snodgrass will be starting college on Monday and this will slow up our updating rate which has been pretty darn good so far. That is when I am not e-baying! Oh did I mention the green polyester suit I ordered for Winkle?"
Winkle: "Oh woe is me!!!!!!"
Snodgrass: "Yes I thought I had, anyway. We'll try and keep things coming pretty fast but review and we'll update even faster.
Winkle: "It's that blackmail?"
Snodgrass: "Oh shut up Winkle or your next suit will come in urple!"