Disclaimer. I own nothing, etc ,etc.

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(Winkle is once more typing madly at the computer, while Snodgrass lounges in a nearby chair. His suit this time is lime green and elementary school yellow, running up and down in enormous stripes. He actually looks remarkably like a tall, skinny straw, but for the fact that he has a pair of purple hippy glasses perched at the end of his nose, which rather spoils the effect.

Winkle (looks up) "Oh, well, hello there," he says in his nervous way, and continues typing.

Snodgrass. (springing from his chair like an animated jumping jack) "Ah! Hello there you, we're very glad to have you, very happy and all that rot that people must say when they first meet." ( shakes your hand for five minutes.) "By the by, what did you come here for?" he asks at last, lowering his glasses and squinting shiftily at you.

You. "To-to-to-read, sir?" you stutter, unnerved by his glare.

Snodgrass. " Good decision! Best place for reading for miles around if you don't mind my talking your ear off!"

You: "Oh, yes-I mean no-I mean-

Snodgrass. "Just start reading for goodness sake!"

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Chapter Nine

Up Stairs and Down Stairs

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Barbie's POV

I leaned against the enormous trunk of one of Lothlorien's trees, and felt bored. I had woken up before Emily, which hadn't been difficult since she was still snoring (not literally) at eleven something.

So I jumped into my now clean clothes, snagged some fruit from the bowl on our table, and went skipping down the stairs, in search of the other guys.

I suppose it was silly to think that the fellowship would still be hanging around at this late hour, but I had to find them. So I wandered around for awhile gaping at everything, until I ran into an elf that looked like Jeeves. I asked him where they were. Luckily for me, he spoke English, and said that they were at the Galadhrim training grounds, and set me in the right directions.

But absented minded as I am, I got lost again, and had to ask directions of another handy elf. Our conversation went something like this.

Me. " Hello my good ma--elf. Do you think you could point out the jolly old training grounds?"

Elf. --------( looks confused)

Me. " You know, where the Galadhrim practice their archery and swordsmanship--like they need it-- could you tell me how to get there?"

Elf. "------something...elvish something?"

Me. " Look you! I no speako you language! Could you just point it out then?"

Elf. "---?----?-----?"

Me. " Argh!"

So I wandered off again, leaving a very confused elf still standing there, who was probably trying to figure out what "argh" meant. I eventually found the grounds myself. Go me!

Most of the Fellowship was there, and Boromir and Aragorn were squaring off with their swords, and Legolas and Gimli doing what they did best. Arguing.

Well, they were also practicing their weaponry. It was rather difficult to tell what exactly they were talking about since on one side it was heated Westron/Elvish and on the other it was angry Westron/ Dwarvish. I know J.RR.T said they became friends in Lothlorien, but this looked like fighting to me. I suppose we're all different. J.

The most interesting thing to watch was the Galadhrim though as they worked with their swords. Haldir was calling out instructions, and then they would switch sides, parry a blow or other things I don' have the correct term for. When he saw me, he switched from elvish to English, so I could understand what he was telling them to do. I swear (not literally) some of the things he told those valiant elves to do were impossible, but they did them, and with style.

(Somehow, I get the feeling they were showing off. Is that just me?)

And I will admit, while I was watching them, I got slightly jealous. I had lost my stupid pointed stick back in Moria, so now I didn't even have a pretense to a weapon. So, careful to avoid the swords and arrows which were whistling through the clearing, I edged over to where Haldir was standing. I didn't want to interrupt him---I can be polite when I want too, you know!---so I waited for a few minutes.

Finally, when he called for a halt, and the Galadhrim were "taking five" I picked up my courage, This guy is intimidating, with a capital I.

"Um, Marchwarden (Yes, I did use his title) do you think there is something I could do? Even the hobbits can use a sword, Legolas has his bow and Gimli--and others have axes." I said, trying to avoid any references to a certain dwarf.

Haldir looked down at me.

"What exactly do you mean?" he asked quizzically. I felt incredibly stupid trying to explain this to him.

"I mean, you don't think maybe I could learn to use a weapon? Like---a bow maybe?" I ventured slowly. Haldir stared at me for what seemed an age ( I felt like a bug on a pin) and then unexpectedly he smiled.

"Very well. We shall begin immediately."

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Emily's POV

"Argh! I feel like I was run over by a truck!" I said as I rolled out of bed with a thump. No one was around to answer so I supposed that my "loyal' sister had gone off without me.

Great, life is great I can't move my arm and I'm expected to dress myself without an arm. Well, if Maedhros could do it so can I.

And for the next fifteen minutes I thumped around the talan dancing to and fro until I was in my now clean( when did they do that?) skirt and denim shirt. I headed down the endless steps ( now I know why they have to have such long lives, so they can get up and down their stairs) and found myself pretty much on my own.

So I picked a direction and began walking as if I hadn't had enough of that the last few weeks. My Gosh did I just say weeks? It had been, by my last count about two and half weeks since we had gotten here, and we had already had more scrapes with death than I had had in all twenty five years of my life.

Anyway I found my way without any help to the training grounds . However, before I got there I heard an odd sound coming from a nearby bush. I crouched out of sight (Yes, I am a crowd) and then a curly haired bundle came rolling out of the bushes. One head was dark and the other was the fizzy yellow blond that could only be Merry.

Merry wrestled until he was seated on top of his poor cousin.

"I have you now Frodo, say uncle and I'll let you up."

"Never.." gasped Frodo desperately.

"Then I'll do my worst." threatened the victorious hobbit. And with mischievous relish began tickling his cousins feet.

"Oh …..no…not fair…oh …..hehehe…" gasped Frodo. I didn't try not to laugh in fact I helped. Are you joking? Are you seriously trying to tell me you wouldn't have tickled him if you had the chance? No, I thought not.

However, I redeemed myself through subtlety moving Merry in such a way as to let Frodo up. Then it was triumph of the Baggins over the Bandybucks, and Merry finally gave up with a good grace that Frodo lacked.

"Ahhhh, that was rich." I sighed and then asked where everyone else was. And so we continued on to the training ground.

We had a bit of a race to see who would get there first. And hobbits can run fast if they want, so we all collided with Aragorn at the same moment. Owww! Major sweaty ranger, yucky! He thought it was funny too ! Honestly I don't knew what Arwen sees in him. In any case we went on to the training grounds.

I really need to find a another way to say training grounds because it gets old really fast.

Anyway I found Haldir in a close embrace with my sister. No, not that kind of embrace, but he did have his arms around her, helping her to pull back the string of a bow. He was instructing her in that slightly accented English that was singular to him. It must come from speaking so many language because none of the others spoke that way.

"Now take a deep breath' he said (It came out like this "Now tike a dep." as in Johnny breath") It was really too cute and I couldn't help, but sigh at the sweet sight. I know it's really sappy, but it gets worse later when…. Well, never mind

Anyway, so Barbie was aiming straight for this target and listening to Haldir's instructions on proper firing technique. "Now let your breath out half way and when the tension is just right let fly."

Barbie screwed up her eyes and exhaling a little sent the bow lose, it flew straight as an…well arrow into the target. A collective "ahhh" came from the people surrounding Barbie and the Marchwarden, even the Galadhrim seemed impressed with her shot. Haldir patted her shoulder and said " That was very good for a first shot, now see if you can do it on your own."

It took her a few seconds of pull the bow back and niche the arrow and she did wobble a bit, but not for long. I was holding my breath, I knew how important this was for her to get right, especially with a certain person….. Coughlegolascough….. watching. She aimed and breathed and at the right moment the arrow left the bow. It whistled across the ground and clean through the target and into the tree behind it!

A shocked moment of silence followed, a bird called and a few golden leaves fell to the ground in a slow motion sort of way. Than the hobbits burst out with wild cheering and everyone began to clap and send her approving glances. Gimli smacked Legolas hard on the back and crowed " Not as useless as we thought !"

Winching the elf agreed and smiled that lovely slow smile at her that made Barb looked like she was going to melt into a puddle of nothingness. I popped in at this minute and clapped my hand on her shoulder to bring her back to reality, funny she didn't seem grateful at all.

Anyway, she was glowing with praise and when Haldir asked where she had trained before she said "No where, it was just beginner's luck I guess."

He nodded, but I don't think that he thought it was beginner's luck, not by a long shot. I know a terrible pun, I know, I won't do it again.

It was a bit awkward when Haldir finally noticed me but he went ahead and said good morning and kissed my hand! Ohhh it was mean! Subtle revenge in making me look stupid in front of everyone. I know it was revenge because he had that odd twinkle in his eyes when he looked at me. The Marchwarden could be a bit of a jerk if he wanted to.

"I didn't know you could be such a Warrior Sue if you wanted to Barb." I said to the preening girl.

A hurt look crossed her face and she said "Hey, if it's in my blood I can't help being the perfect warrior can I?"

"Oh please." I rolled my eyes and noticed the guys( dwarf, elves, hobbit and men) watching us. Pasting a fake smile on my face I held out a hand to Barbie.

"Wherever I go I know she goes!" I sang with a wink at Barb.

"Wherever I go I know she goes!" returned Barb and shaking hands we sang together.

"No fist, no fights, no feuds and no egos! Amigos! Together!"

Together in perfect timing ( Yes we can do more than one thing right! We took dance together!) we finished the song with a perfect flourish to the astonished group. They stood there for a second too shock to move.

I glanced at Barbie out of the corner of my eye and said "They're too shocked to move!"

"Might as well keep up the Mary Sue love as long as we can and thrill them with our magnificent voices!"

"Barb you can hardly carry a tune for more than five minutes at a time."

"Fine, forget you I'll sing by my self!" " No! no, no I'll sing with you and cover up your deficiencies." I offered helpfully.

"Lets not and say we did." was the flat answer.

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Barbie's POV.

I can hardly believe it. It seems we were only here a few days, and tomorrow we're leaving. Emily mentioned having a headache, so I'm packing our things. I slid my hands over my own bow, feeling the delicate carvings on it under my fingers. This wasn't just a weapon, it was a work of art.

I put it down, and started shoving clothes into my backpack, I never was much at organization. Emily's I was careful to slide neatly folded into her separate compartments since she was such a stick in the mud about it. After I was done, I tossed them both into the corner of our talan with a thump, since nothing inside was breakable.

"So Em, you getting all psyched up for tomorrow?" I asked absently, flopping into one of our chairs. A miserable groan was my only answer.

"Uh, are you ok? You sound like a dying walrus," I said, looking at her as she lay on her bed. She didn't say anything , and I laid my hand on her forehead.

"Wow, baby you're hot." I said, pulling my hand away " You're not---sick, are you?"

"No--yes!" She jumped up, and ran into the bathroom. And then she--how can I put this delicately?---let's just say that lady tossed some serious sidewalk pizza.

I thumped her helpfully on the back, and then helped her back to bed.

"Look, you stay here. I'm going to get someone." She didn't answer.

All this silence was starting to worry me, and I ran down the steps of our tree-house at suicidal speed. But when I got down, the only person in sight was the elf of the week before, the one who didn't speak English. He would have to do, so I ran up to him, and grabbed his sleeve.

"Hey you, I could use some help here. My sister's upstairs puking!" He looked at me blankly, and I could have kicked him. Wasn't puking a universal word? Well, we would have to go back to the Robinson Crusoe way of doing things. Sign language.

Still keeping a firm hold of his sleeve, I collapsed to my knees, and clutched desperately at my throat, making ghastly noises the whole time. He looked scared, and tentatively patted me on the back. I think he thought I was dying.

"No, not me you idiot! Upstairs! My sister is SICK!" I yelled, and finally dragged him over to the foot of our tree, and pointed upwards.

He got the idea, and we both ran upstairs. Emily was throwing up again, and when she was done, he helped me get her back to bed. Then he let out a long stream of elvish.

"Barb, he doesn't even speak English!" Emily groaned. I turned, and glared at him in my practiced Elrond glare.

"Do something you person!" I said in frustration.

And then to my utter surprise he did, picking Emily up, and running down the stairs with her. I didn't blame him for running( I mean, she had just hitched a ride on the porcelain express) but where the heck was he taking her?

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Emily's POV

I was locked up in Galdor and Haerowen's talan and they weren't about to let anyone visit me. They couldn't risk the hobbits, dwarf (like I wanted him around) or the guys getting sick when they were on such an important mission. Not that I blamed them, it wasn't like I could do more then look pathetic or run for the bathroom every once in a while.

Gosh! I come to Middle Earth and get lammed with the stomach flu, can I cry now? I did cry for a while but quickly realized that made me feel more like throwing up than any thing so I had to suffer in silence. Please pity me……or shoot me, just shoot me!

I was over heated and sick and they were leaving without me the next day. I tried doing that psychology thing, about pretending not to be sick and kind of making yourself better, but just when I thought it was working, I threw up again.

Haerowen was really nice and took good care of me all night the first day I was sick. She didn't know why it helped to have a cold wet clothe on my forehead, but she went ahead and did it anyway. I felt like I was a queen or something the way they treated me, although they were probably wanted to get me well fast so they could be rid of me. I wasn't exactly as thankful as I could have been.

I can say that was one of things that I regret now that I didn't do. I wish I had taken the time to properly thank them for being so kind to me, but I was blind to everything but my own misery. Barbie came and talked to me about the preparations they were making for leaving. They weren't worried that she would get sick, because she still wore Legolas's ring around her neck. I was too sick to mention it though, I listened to her with a horrible feeling of lonesomeness because I was going to have to stay for who knew how long.

"And you should have seen the hobbit's faces when Celeborn said we were going in boats so we could out run the nasties on our trail, it was too funny! I mean sure I feel sorry for them, but still!" She stopped and laid her hand on my head. "You're still pretty warm, do you think you could pretend to be well?"

I shook my head miserably, resisting the urge to hurl right then and there to prove my point. Barbie got up to go and said "We'll be leaving too early in the morning to come and see you again, so I'll say good bye now."

She gave me a hug and hesitated a minute fiddling with something in her hand. Finally she knelt down and whispered "Look Em, someone told me to give this to you. I hope you understand that I couldn't say no, and do you have a message for that unnamed person?"

She held the thing out and I saw that it was a ring. It was too big for me by half, it was a man's ring and bright silver. On a background of black enamel a tiny white tree was craved and surrounded by seven tiny diamonds. I knew whose it was.

I croaked out " Barb, if worst comes to worst tell him I think he has very fine eyes and I am proud to call him my friend."

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